Doing it making the most of it all. Woke up sore that's the best feeling. Just work it earn it no one is going to do it for you. Nothing wrong with being happy over all the guilt trips. Caring for all the wrong people. You empower them to do good be great, but chose to be bad at their worse.

Glad they are back a new year
Some people **** your good vibes
Some give off good that inspire you
Great enery that keeps you inspired
Staying motivated while others settles
Staying positive during toxic times
The attitude turned up no time for drama
Focused on the work get it done

Thankful for others concerns but don't agree with their perception of how they feel or think by mistaking my kindness as weakness. Talking about you to get a reaction make you look bad in front of people you value. Trying to make you devalue yourself lowering yourself to their level which is below your standards.
At one point you looked out for them and they came at you making you a target because they have nothing going or things are bad they set themselves up to fail and trying to bring you down with them.
Learning to say NO and not interested not following trends. Lost interest in crowd because they expect and take; it's never enough. More made up rules and standards that go in their favor. Leaving you feeling used and humiliated for trusting them thinking they actually valued you as a person.

Monty had been wanting to explore the world he was tired of being a hermit and work his life became a routine. Be spontaneous didn't get attached people come and go.
He loved to train MMA but it wasn't gun with all the gym politics they didn't take him serious. He worked with the fighters that would compete when he talked about it with the coach they showed no interest. His team mates made him

Drawing trying to see it feel it in his head. From the pencil on the page letting go of raw emotions that are pent up. Letting go of all the toxic bad people. He wanted to retaliate but realized it was a waste of time. They'll get triggered to justify their actions. They have hate boiling and burning on the back burner. Ready to serve it but not taking it or interested in what's being dished out.

Reflecting on the past in the dark room
More bad than good positive thoughts
Trying to make sense of it all
Lost love hoping to be found
Losing focus years of wandering
Refusing to stay in one place
Hard to take in the moment
Never going back to what caused pain
Finding peace dropping the burden
Time away to heal and cope
Understand the complicated situation
Find a steady foundation leveled out

***** how you cant have an opinion
They'll try to silence you for being different
If you disagree every attack gets personal
Over a joke or asking a question
Talking about change but no one wants it
He didn't argue they'd change the topic of discussion
Jumping labels manipulating the conversation
Titles with false sense of empowerment
Debating trying to dictate the narratives

Sometimes being to deep and honest makes it hard to sleep. Letting go is hard when I need you you're never there. Now I moved on don't care now you're back acting like nothing happened. Protect myself from your wicked ways not interested regardless if you come or stay. What nonsense do you have to say to impose your way. Over your selective ways in and out making my friendship a convenient. Things go well not even thought of but when crap hits the fan all of a sudden an idea and thought of. Breaking this cycle not playing these games over all the drama no shame not playing over all the lies and pain. Fading memories no longer remain

I don't really have a type but the kid of girls that grab my eyes do jujitusu or play softball. I like tough girls but when they are with you they are caring and sensitive away from the sport. Not into physical feature but I like big eyes and a cute smile. A big ***** is a bonus but I don't have a type just saying that's what catches my eye. I like mixed half something mix that makes interesting that's another way to see unique it's the personality that is a deal breaker you can be the most beautiful person ever but if you have a crap personality you are ugly. I've learned you need to be humble treat people. Stop letting your insecurity consume you and your happiness.
I'm not use to compliments but I rarely give them out when I do it really impressed me or caught my eye. I'm not quick to say I love you unless I mean it or my feelings are true. I don't use people or have a hidden agenda it's true or nothing.it makes things easier too bad it's complicated for others. I tell the truth not what you want to hear. I like honesty but it's so hard to come by not picky but if you treat me right I'll be good to you communicate don't pick and choose when you want to be involved with my life. As I get older the dating world is slim pickings I usually want them and they don't want me. Or they want me but I'm not interested or emotionally available.
My friends say put yourself out there I do it's like I pop up when everyone is taken or going through a break up giving me their worse I work with it but they go back or quick to get with someone else because they can't handle being alone.
Times have changed when I wanted friends with benefits everyone wanted to get serious now I'm looking for something serious and everyone wants to be in an open relationship. I don't like sharing taking people serious or don't waste their time.

Being called delusional for having a dream that doesn't evolve around you.
Being called a narcissistic for not giving up values and ones self
Had bad leads did  their work it made me better
Dealt with good leads that are supportive Gaining more confidence
Stepping it up filling the void since it needs to done
Doing the work even if others are not satisfied show up, help don't just criticize
Thankful for growing qnd

Worried about everyone stressing
Trying to stay calm not over react
Stay invested instead of shutting down
Playing off others wasting time
All in for the win giving everything
All the change in a fit of rage
Final chapter shut the book
Open a new book emotionally invested
The beginning drags the middle gets engaging
End is near coming to conclusions
Hard to take it all in expecting more getting less
Lost interest more involved ready to leave

When you don't care for the hype
Then a cross over occurs the blurred lines
Making what you love toxic internal struggle
It was already a love hate relationship
Trying to understand but this kept changing
Making it more complicated no longer making sense
Thinking it might get better but keeps getting worse
Being set up to fail trying to grasp success
Trying to heal in a place that cause the illness
The crowds never happy or it's never good enough
Burnt out and frustrated from all the criticism
Giving your all not getting anything in return
All those promises turn out to be lies
Agreeing but no intentions of honoring their word
Saying one thing but doing another
Staying humble while scumbags gloat
Doing the work while complainers Debate for a place than work for it

Wired different from everyone
Told to be a tough but sensitive always hiding it
A lover struggle within not sure how to feel.
Always have something to say
Feelings get the best of everything
Told her how I felt she didn't love me back
I held it all in she left and never looked back
Dreaming big barely getting by fighitng to survive
Feels like things are dieing need to be revived
Hard to breathe need to make a move
Praying for love hopeless with romance
Love hate turns into loves to hate
Career not paying out with many more fears
Over the suffering wipping tears still here
Another expression seen like a protest
Standing tall for change things remain the same
Paid dues picked everyone else it's true
Stood talk for the crew all the betrayal
Turned their back treated cruel
Moved on found passion staying loyal pure true

Most hate their job but I'm thankful to be working. On my down time I do what I love which is write. It doesn't feel right to go without it. It takes me away to a better place. I can write stuff I have a hard time saying and express myself without others judging or treating me different because I have an opinion and not a yes man. Writing has got me through tough times and things are only getting better.

Appreciating the moment when things become clear so many unanswered questions. Making sense of everything it's a load off. It's cool to collaborate but being told yes and ignored is the worse. Being heard and understood is a breathe of fresh air. I'm not one to impose on others or go out of way to give my opinion when no one asked.
Writing Has been on my mind, asking, "how do I want to say this?" Set a tone where it can help others that want to be helped. It's hard to put yourself out there but once you get out there you won't regret it. You'll experience rejection and ignored but once you connect with the right people it will be worth your time.

A friend would come for him asking for advice. His co-worker was engaged about to call it off. His co-worker asked him; "how do I get my ring back from my ex?" We broke up and I do not want her to have the ring I gave her. His co-worker in such a tough situation. Hard to help when you know nothing about relationships especially engagement. So he gave it a shot doing his best to help come up with a solution so the ring could be returned. He would tell him to tell his ex fiancee that smeagle would like the ring back because she was unworthy of the ring. His co-worker would look at him like he was no help but it was a start to getting the ring

Sober living accused of drinking
No longer the decoy or one to blame
Was always loyal and true getting hate
While you lie and cheat, sneaking around finally got caught up
Talking bold while intoxicated now that you sobered up not saying much or anything
Always the scapegoat for those in the wrong
Got use to being alone made it easier to grow
Don't blame others for your mistakes it's your life so own up
Use admire your way of life turns out you are worse off
Knocked me, told me to be someone, I was not and did not agree with
You cheat and play victim once they leave you and move on
Learned from your ways told myself be better
Why are you two faced; one fake to those who care about you acutally looking out
The other bad mouthing to those who don't care about your safety or well being.
Once I walked away you are no longer my problem and no longer my concern
Use to worry but you like to slaunder my name

Getting older over all the cold shoulder
Moved on but you can't pull me back
Over the bad vibes from numb to being alive
Cut out the toxic don't need your negativity
Times are changing doesn't mean it's going to change my ways
Open to change willing to listen but not influence by others and beliefs that have not love or don't accept me

Finding ways to past time not fond of down time always said you can't get in trouble if you're making money. Get lost in yard work and washing cars to get out of this insanity. Listening to music while writing. Finished a book now starting another feeling the mind drift away from all the nonsense that robs the heart of peace.
Being kind to everyone even when they vilify you for being different. Not a follower or a sheep been making another path. always working on something not sure what to do with it but invested in it all.

In a field where the wind blows quietly with a green fence as he threw his softball at a stump it rolled back. Took in the scene at peace feeling at ease away from all the chaos and insanity. At peace with nature feeling all the insanity fade away no more bad memories and pain the silence empowering gain.

He took a chance and failed
Didn't want to disappoint others
Did the business then it went sour
All the favors never returned
Helped a friend it was an act
Manipulated by a two faced fiend
Hard to trust anyone heard all the lies
Actions that spoke otherwise
Not forcing it or pretending it's cool
Tired of listening to tangents
Feeding a useless ego that crushes others

They tried to break your spirit
Took the crap not doing it anymore
Smiled at the Haters being genuine
Dk everyone is mad soaked in misery
Took on the burden not doing it
Dropped the nonsense walked away
Use to be disappointed stopped caring
Breaking away feeling free from crazy
Silent to keep the peace alive
Focused on things that need to be done
Do what you love with passion
Get away from those toxic vibes
Meant for better a life outside
Escape these 4 walls out of the dark

Dealing with change part of life
Onto new jobs starting a new
Leaving the old ones behind
A new crowd didn't fit in or belong
Might be easier somewhere new
Will miss the friendships that made work easy
No more taking on the power struggle
Empowering useless leadership
Not able to grow feeling weighed down
All the burden picking up the slack
Filling the void not worth it or fun anymore

Over taking the blame when it's none of my business. You take your frustrations out on me but not taking it anymore. I'm always the bad guy, it's never good enough. I meant well trying to make things better in the end you rip me a new one tear me apart. I love and accept you when you are full of flaws. I accept them while you are quick to reject me. Not trying to argue or fight because I've played the game with your bully ways there is no winner you aim to hurt while I walk away.

He wondered being creative
What moment of his life
He could put on the page
Possibly turn it into a scene
It loops in the back of his mind
His wild imagination off the charts
Trying to keep it simple
Not aware of his audience
Older use to being alone
Appreciating the art of story telling
Straight to the point is easy
Too much detail could be wordy
Over thinking tone possibilities