Saying good bye is hard
Especially when you're not ready
You are tired Id like more time
One more day to share a laugh
Make a moment I've grown
Learned so much taking your advice
Work hard and take the initiative
You served your country and a hero
Thank you for serving our family
Your moral code and ethics will live on
Still in denial cant believe you're gone

He stopped worrying about the scale numbers. He knew what had to be done and did it. Writing was his way of expression a journey with the right people he collaborated began to grow.
He noticed they had the big house and not happy. He didn't have much, but happy for most.
He was tired of trying to be put in a box and labels that had nothing to do with them. He knew some used their platform to manipulate others and take advantage. He stood his grown they hated him for it. He wasn't listening to them because he knew what he had to do, and what had to be done.

Proving yourself making mistakes
Taking the heat not accepting defeat
Struggling can't stay down forever
All the hurt let it go to heal
Memories fade less impact
Feeling saved for the moment
Emotions are stable composed

Called ghetto for standing up for myself
Told the truth everyone is mad
The lies continue to fester and pester
Easier to walk away everything lost value
Only in it for the insurance for medication
Called a super hero for bouncing back
Trying to be normal after surgery
Always seen as different standing tall

Like the cold makes it easier to sleep
Cold weather reminds me of football season
Layers keep you warm and beanies can be worn
The fresh cold breeze in my face so relaxing
Hot chocolate taste just right especially at night
Jacket and sweater weather makes things better

You trust and respect them they don't value you. You worked for yours while one is juiced in the higher ups gave him everything. The other was a great work but been selective on efforts. He did value his team seen himself as a team player playing a major role.
Took one for the team but not taking the heat for someone with bad instructions. Followed the leads orders to get the job done all the wrong tools were provided.
The lead given his spot with heat because his bad rep is toxic. Sad you can't get ahead or trust anyone. Mistakes were made let's fix them and learn from them. Trying to man up own up do what's right. Outsiders will talk but they don't know they aren't there.

In his mind that moment he seen it
But knew what needed to be done
He loved the sport wanted to add
His influence be part of it of it
The training to make it to the next level
Taking time making them steps
Going through the motions
Slowing it down being smart
Taking calm trying not to over react
Laying on his back trying to see it
Imagine himself doing it with finesse
Doing it right staying focused on the game

He was a new person and ran into people from the past they tried to judge him remind of who he was and use to be. He was no longer that person they once knew. He started new made changes cut out the negative and toxic people. He did care for his friends but did not want to compromise who he became to make them happy. He was his own person; he did miss the group, but they did not represent him or speak on his behalf.
They tried to shame him for his bad habits that he no longer did anymore. He walked away because he knew it was no longer the same. He could not go back they tried to replace him. He was no longer part of the tripod. He helped them get started on projects but after being ignored and denied. They claimed he was part of the group but his input was never taken into consideration.
He started his own projects where he found gratification and satisfaction for his efforts.
He learned he couldn't find himself in others and being part of a group would only limit him so he decided to do what he loved and pursued his passion. He cared for people valued them but they did not think highly of him. He wasn't materialistic but they did take his cut of his investment. He let it go found his own way.

He went to work and wanted to be left alone. They assumed he was mad and assumed he was mad or upset it would annoy him. He just wanted to get his work done not in the mood to socialize half the time he tried to mingle and got ignored. He always was in good spirit but didn't want to be settle asking where should he be or go if they wouldn't make him full time. He was hard working put in more effort than the hired on full timers. He was willing to make a difference he worked like he was a boss but not paid like one. He acted like an owner to his area and gave his all.
He always did what he loved and made work even when it wasn't. He didn't like cutting corners or half *** the job. He wasn't treated fair but he thought positive he would wake up everyday a new person a better person. He was scared to fail but he came up short. He kept saying tomorrow will be a better day. He was over the lies false promises where they did nothing with him but get his hopes up. He worried ready to walk away find something new so he could add more skills to his talents.
He didn't like to settle deep down he had this urge to break his routine try something new move onto a new chapter in his life. He tried so many things but have found a match. He felt it was right but got proved wrong. He hated being wrong so it was hard for him to make a move. He was more annoyed because when things went well he got no love or perks. If something went wrong everyone was quick to point that and hold that burden over his head thinking they had say or control over his actions.

He was tired of being numb
Years of writing skinning the issues
Now gutting them talking about it
From thinking it was foolish
That's how it played out
His heart fooled believing one thing
But their actions told another story
He hated being wrong but it happens
Wanting it things turned out different
Accepting it was hard to take in
Feelings and emotions became unsettling

He loved his family they never talked all they did was talk about one another. Instead of building each other up all the hatred knocking on another.
Everyone goes through stuff but you can't tell people what to do or how to live their life. All you could do is warn them they won't listen choosing the hard way sometimes is the eye opener.
Being the oldest watching your siblings grow set in their ways not telling them anything then quick to judge you for not giving them their way. Trying to destroy you because they didn't get things their way

Doing what I love even if they think I'm not good at what I do. Writing is my voice doing my best to express myself without being judged be my best I'm not always going to be liked or wanted around but found my way with out your approval. I'd ask for forgiveness but the only person I forgive is myself for listening to people are not even trying.

Woke up from a deep slumber; cold and fresh able to rest more. Over the year a round summer.
My bed cozy don't want to move but hunger calls it's time to wake you seize the day. Hard to rest the mind always racing get through the day pacing. Breathe relax enjoy you day off. Wake up tomorrow back to the grind. Work for your dreams invest in yourself. Make it happen get it all never settle for less or go with out.

They'll bad mouth you
Don't listen keep being better
Try to knock you down
Get back up go hard
Slander your name
Stay clear of their dirt
Saying it can't be done
You've already done it
Fighting to survive positive vibes
Not feeding egos by giving in
Crazy enough to stand alone
Come back for more no surrender
Family becomes strangers
Friends become foes
Learning to walk tall use to being alone

Shared about living not giving up
All the mistakes life lessons
Failing leads to blessings
On the right track no going back
Been with the wrong person
Feeling numb blocking it out
Loved the wrong person
Now it's over seeking closure
Over time the heart at peace
Heals after being in pieces
Writing to feel deal with things
Show emotions process overcome
Instead of numb emotionless

Cutting ties feeling free
Forgave the person moved
After all the lies never ending
All the manipulation the deceit
No longer involved staying away
Looked out plenty of warnings
Still learning the hard way
Ditching the responsibility others don't want
Not being accountable for stealing
Quick to blame others made a mistake

Always working hard because it needs to be done and it's the job but over being ignored and overlooked. If you deserve the position and would for it it should be yours but it doesn't work out like that so many considered while left huffing and puffing. If you don't want to move up or advance what's the point of being there. I've always taken pride and gave my all into my work. I help others someone once told me treat people right and things will get better lots of mixed emotions someday are great others are regret and dreading the day because I give so much and it's never enough. I think highly and respect others and I'm taken for granted ignored and forgotten. I like to give my all make it happen. I'm struggling to make my moments and losing focus always been a team player but one sided by coworkers never considers others. Sometimes I care too much other times I want to walk away never go back. I'm not happy with the fake people I avoid them.

He was seen as a threat because he didn't have kids or married. He was in no rush or hurry to do so. He enjoyed life while still trying to be friends with couples but it always went wrong. He was accused of making the friend cheat on their partner how insecure was that. Soon the friendship would be sunk because of random events. He respected the concept of family and his friends happiness till one day he would become the middle man and scapegoat for their failing relationship. One of two outcomes came from this first the husband would blame him for his shady actions while cheating and two the girl would catch feelings for him to make her partner jealous. This middle man kept secrets and knew the dirt but did not making it worse. He would bail no longer be in the picture erased from events.
He was open and honest he wished them the best but found it annoying that he was made out to be the vilian while they would be courupt pretending to be innocent. He would fade out lose contact to find out their actions would comeback to them. He was annoyed that he did nothing wrong but was accused.
He once had a friend that attended college with they had a fling nothing serious but did have mixed signals. He was not jumping in because she was stuck on an ex that she would marry later. As time passed they would reconnect but this time it was much worse a married woman acting like she had it still but she was married how can you tell another you loved him while being with someone else this made no sense. He would stay away hard to have friends in a relationship and tolerate couples.
He's dealt with couple most cheat or in a loveless relationship only to hold on to some history or because of the kids they stayed in this pointless situation. He lost friends because once they started getting laid they forgot about their friends. He had close females too but once they started to settling down as well they acted like they were loyal when he knew they had been around the block more than spinning top. He stayed loyal and true to his friends even though they assumed and accused him of the worse.
He hung with alchies and druggies never judged them for their habits saw a good person but after a while he got tired of settling and others talking he would cut ties no longer allowing people who didn't care about him have a say. They made him out to be a monster hiding the fact they were worse off finding him a target to dump the blame. He was trying to hard but he did more than most gave his all not expecting anything in return.
He walked away got tired of waiting around tired of being mistreated by people who thought they were better but all an act and front he knew the truth and never head it against them. He was not not like the rest he was seen as a threat because he didn't find happiness in others or rely on them to make him happy because they weren't happy with themselves and he didn't need them. He didn't use people but saw good in them even if they don't feel good about themselves.

Sad how people are so jealous of one another. Why can't people be happy for one another; accepting of everyone's differences.  They see you as a threat because you're not afraid to try, step up to the plate. Asking questions instead of just taking what's given. He walks away but they provoke him once you strikes back, unleashes his wrath; they are quick to play the victim.
She cheated on him he confronted her; she cried and blamed him instead of owning up. His best friend got mad at him because his gf had a fling with his girl before they were ever anything. They slandered his name and judged him harshly. He quit drinking but now they are doing all the things that guilted him about doing. His ex and best friend got together to get back at him. He already walked away because they held a grudge but tried to make him a target but was not showing any weakness or giving into their deceitfulness not giving into the manipulation. He  never seen so much corruption.

About to start a new journal
Filling out each page day by day
As I get closer to finishing and starting a new one
Lots of reflecting, poems/lyrics and dialogue.
My mind wanders and helps me cope
Life is not always fair don't care when I have a pen
Feelings change those bad thoughts come to an end
Imagine it see it feel it believe it
sometimes exploring lead to relieving the tension
Pour it all open on the page paper obsorbs these thoughts
Feelings that don't feel right or make sense
Keeps emotions centered so it wont consume the soul
Writing is never done a never ending process
No need to obsess let it go don't settle for less
It hears me when no one else does
A muted voice it understood in words
Feel free flying with wild birds
Exploring new worlds hoping to find that place
The place that makes sense to call home
Find away home feel cozy in my own skin
Somewhere going strong for the win
New chapter a place for the pen start over write
Do it all over again my mind at peace never let it end

Things will never be the same
Rise above the pain overcome shame
Fading memories over come regret
Drop the burden hard to forget
No more giving my love to the wrong
where it's not valued the hurt turns to strength
Find your own way live another day
Who gives a **** what they have to say
Alive within instead of going the flow
As long as you're moving away from the bad
Pursuing your passion call me old fashioned
doesn't matter how slow do something
All I had helped me grow don't need it anymore
Keep working don't like to be broke
Keep hustling others want you to choke
Gave them the benefit of the doubt
All the drama can do without
You talk down on me think you're better than me so act like it because you're fake
Everyone can see through you're act no need to front
Keep it real told the truth you are not about that
That's why you hate on me give me the third degree
Not a yes man don't buy into the BS
Refuse to follow and settled for less

He was tired of all these rules and demands to be accepted they wanted him to change but they did nothing to change. He preferred to be alone but they called him a rebel since they thought isolating him would be a punishment.
He was use to being alone and didnt care to be corrected for having an opinion. Being told how to act was annoying he was responsible for himself. They tried to modify him when they did worse acting like their way was the best way.
He chose to be a man of God trusting his way on God time and plan. He struggled because minding his mouth was hard since everyone kept coming at him. He minded his business while everyone kept talking when they shouldn't even be saying anything.
A bunch of nobodies talking like they are somebody. Instead of owing up quick to pass the blame.

We aren't friends friends don't use you or ignore you only when they need something you become an idea. You are married leave me alone, I don't trust you or care to share my day or ideas with you. You have your husband to hear your problems. You make problems making me the scapegoat when you are being deceitful.
I did Appreciate or friendship but you have other commitments that you choose to neglect. I will never be us when you make it about you. You are a wife a we with your husband. You're a friend nothing more but now we are strangers because you made me out to be the bad guy. Your jealous insecure husband dk me but assumes the worse. We can't be friends and not associating is a huge weight off my shoulders. Free from you and your drama no more toxic negativity away no longer a friend but it has come to an end.
Many come and go I respect family and their needs come first once I do my own thing. Why can't you be happy for me. I was glad for you now you're knocking me.

The house on the hill in the middle of no where
You can see it from the highway at night you see the lights from within
A lonely home islolated barely noticed in the distance unless you are looking for it
The loud road cars racing can't be heard on the hill looking up from the street
The house looks down on traffic like a watch tower
The people who live there never seen

Too many negative people like a mood ring
They are toxic and it spreads but blame others
You respect values and expect you to change
You avoid them because they ruin your day
Hard to breathe focus turn things upside down
Traditional values changed going with what is already known
Hard to express so much pent up within
Trying to share does it matter does anyone care
Use to be a lead got judged now facing a firing squad
Worked hard to move up in the company
ended up getting beat up by a lazy employee
Who did nothing and collected a check
Opened my mouth ended up being my fault
Said nothing now everyone is talking
I accept others flaw and all not one to judge
hated for calling them on it quick to point out mistakes
my name out of mouths who don't like me
I don't talk about anyone focused on getting things done

Dealing with alpha females that take and never give back. Emasculate you then have the never to play the victim. Always sit back as they make plans then expect you to pay for their it. Especially since they make drama for everyone. Talk about everyone the audacity to ask for favors. The evil reign of terror with belittling leadership talking about respect but stomping on everyone to get it.

The stranger in the mirror
A sign to take better care of yourself
Need to live always at work
Helping more than ones self
Use to be close now it's gone
Now it seems farther away
Smiled at her dk if she's interested
If she feels the same way back
Tired of being changed tossed away
Looking for love with the right one
Fixed for the next trying to be rejected
Need to be accepted for once
Over disrespect tired from arguing
Why fight for the wrong person
Someone living in the past looping
Who's stuck on an ex can't move on
Tired of waiting going crazy debating
Mind refuse to go along with the scam
A loving heart that's ready to settle

Being able to talk about it
Pressure of your chest
Others understand for once
Able to relate not the exception
Everyone struggles mentally
Physically exhausted pushing through
Going through something
Staying sober dealing with feelings
Before taking a drink an overreaction
Writing to cope instead of being dramatic
Being able to express without criticism
One's self in a healthy manner
Have a heart without being called soft
Show feelings not be seen as sensitive
Be emotional without being called emo
Shedding tears while hurt be hard
Told to be hard show no emotions
Be down for yours never back down
No one cares not materialistic
Produce results final outcome

They met at work sharing awkward silent moments both unique and interesting. One worked hard mentally the other physically. They both went to a university it was a bubble till the reality came their way. One would find success the other would struggle to find their way. Debt was coming they had to pay. Working for that degree while getting the 3rd degree. Sad how some get that degree and making minimum wage. This story hard to get through to turn the page both writing their own book one learns with their career the other school of hard knocks with the struggle. Eventually the hype flat lines levels out.
What matters what doesn't not giving into society peer pressure. Rebellion alone paying my phone no one to call to old to be at the mall. Love for the club but not into it anymore you got old it got old. New school old school do what's right loyal and true. In the bubble outside the bubble meant to go keep moving forward don't belong there anymore

Trying to enjoy life without feeling challenged or accepting defeat. Trying to do right while everything around fails goes wrong. Conflict with cousins not laying down but standing this ground. Spoke up now it feels like the world is done with you set you aside not bothering anymore.
The job expects so much in very little time. Committing to a job that's worth it always free feeling consumed losing it all to be one way use to being the wild one.

Doing it making the most of it all. Woke up sore that's the best feeling. Just work it earn it no one is going to do it for you. Nothing wrong with being happy over all the guilt trips. Caring for all the wrong people. You empower them to do good be great, but chose to be bad at their worse.

Always one to think before speaking
Loves everyone; who is fair, equally
Faced betrayal not surprised anymore
Not one to bad mouth others
Nice to my face respect is shown
Lots of tongue lashes to my back
Saw good in them, got proved wrong
Not empowering the decietful behavior
Walked away not connecting to a downgrade
Working to level up get to the next level
Not going back down, been there before
Not one to back down, focused on success not less
Keeping positive head on these shoulders
Too old for games, be real not time for fakes
Speak truth, no time for hate fueled lies