Thankful for others concerns but don't agree with their perception of how they feel or think by mistaking my kindness as weakness. Talking about you to get a reaction make you look bad in front of people you value. Trying to make you devalue yourself lowering yourself to their level which is below your standards.
At one point you looked out for them and they came at you making you a target because they have nothing going or things are bad they set themselves up to fail and trying to bring you down with them.
Learning to say NO and not interested not following trends. Lost interest in crowd because they expect and take; it's never enough. More made up rules and standards that go in their favor. Leaving you feeling used and humiliated for trusting them thinking they actually valued you as a person.

He knew that changing with the times to stay relavent. He didn't want to give up on himself but he would evolve as a person. The disappointment made him more determined. The break ups made him stronger. He was learning to love again even though he was causious of who he would let into his world. He loved so many people found out they were bad mouthing him so he had to let them go. He did hold place for them in his heart but did not get close kept a distance from these people who betrayed his trust.
He didn't like being alone he was social in a smart phone universe so many texting or posting but no one could express themselves to another being. He was one who looked the girl he loved in the eyes told her how he felt things were right. Eventually things changed not in his favor when he sobered up things got easier made more sense. He coped checked his emotions and ego at the door learning to love again. He hated the outcome but made the most of things.

New plans and ideas to rise up. From the bottom to the top spoke up tired of being silent. Knowing having an opinion causes enemies instead of bringing gaps. Not taking the crap anymore took a stand even if it meant being alone.
Hard to sleep with "what if" on the mind? Asking "when?" And is it truly worth it. So many ideas the heart dk how to feel or what to think anymore this mind racing on the redline.

He was always respectful of his friends and their situation. He knew his friend had a crush on this girl. He would get involved but would find out from the girl she was not interested in his friend. The plot twist was the girl liked him over his friend. He could not act on her feelings because he was loyal to his friend and she would try to convince him other wise. The friend would be angry because his plan to date her failed. More inferior when the girl told his friend she wasn't interested but did like his friend. Talk about causing conflict over mixed emotions no one acted on. The girl wanted him but he cared for his friend and didn't want to lose a friend. He was in a weird situation, if he went with the girl he lost a friend. But if he stayed loyal to the friend the girl would hate him because she would see it as he had no regards for her feelings.
Trying to find balance and be fair he chose the friend but the friend was bitter and hostile he would bad mouth the loyal friend. Turns out jealous people can't be friends over doing the right thing. He remained alone both the jealous friend and girl no longer engage with him because he would not give into their ways so he left them to figure it out. He figured why be friends with people that make him feel awkward, he leader to make himself happy not look for it in others and being alone is okay rather than being with the wrong crowd.

One day they love you
The next they hate you
Because you didn't play the games
Now they are mad making a fuss
Asked if it was okay they were fine
Told the truth don't care for lies
Forgave them still no change
They came at you trying to provoke
When you've walked away
Trying to turn others on you
Cancel out for being different
Like exposing you makes them better
Rather be alone than deny ones self
Kept a distance playing it safe
Wanted to be a peacemaker
More than peacekeepers
Tired of living and being a certain way
Over others toxic and bad behavior
Feeling pushed out been on both sides

As I get older I realize it's okay to get away from certain family members. We are family but we don't see eye to eye and disagree. That's fine but when that person makes it feel unwelcoming. They bad mouth your name for having an opinion speaking your mind.
I learned to stop empowering them by not feeding into the negativity. Walk away with your head up. Go where you feel appreciated where you can grow. Don't be boxed in or be someone you're not to make others happy.  Do what you love what makes you happy grow be strong for yourself believe in yourself when no one else does.

Most hate their job but I'm thankful to be working. On my down time I do what I love which is write. It doesn't feel right to go without it. It takes me away to a better place. I can write stuff I have a hard time saying and express myself without others judging or treating me different because I have an opinion and not a yes man. Writing has got me through tough times and things are only getting better.

Wake up do it all over this routine gets old and time for a change. So much on my mind and needs to be done. I wrote scripts that never go used. I wrote monologues that need to be performed. Writing is fun but I use it to vent always listening to others and have no one to hear my frustrations after I write it takes the anxiety away.
Making sense of these built up thoughts pit on the spot never ready or sure what to expect half the time. The moment passed and was missed so many other things on my mind.

We aren't friends friends don't use you or ignore you only when they need something you become an idea. You are married leave me alone, I don't trust you or care to share my day or ideas with you. You have your husband to hear your problems. You make problems making me the scapegoat when you are being deceitful.
I did Appreciate or friendship but you have other commitments that you choose to neglect. I will never be us when you make it about you. You are a wife a we with your husband. You're a friend nothing more but now we are strangers because you made me out to be the bad guy. Your jealous insecure husband dk me but assumes the worse. We can't be friends and not associating is a huge weight off my shoulders. Free from you and your drama no more toxic negativity away no longer a friend but it has come to an end.
Many come and go I respect family and their needs come first once I do my own thing. Why can't you be happy for me. I was glad for you now you're knocking me.

Just because its going on doesn't mean you need to get involved. Sometimes you win and they try to discredit you. Once crap hits the fan they want to give you all the credit.

I'd rather do my own thing than clean up another mess I didn't make. People will betrayal you but just keep a distance. I don't care to hold a grudge, but if I don't trust a person. I'd rather not be involved.

I tolerate and forgive realizing things will never change. Some will never take accountability for their actions. When there's no scapegoat that's the person will get caught up. No one to blame but themselves be responsible for your actions.

As I grow older friends get married
Some have kids and start families
Sad how everyone grows a part
Some find success and achieve greatness
Others get lost and struggle with addiction
So many struggle with loss and change
Sometimes change is good others have a hard time with it
Divorce occur with failed trust or conflict of interest
Some have kids but don't see them and struggle to pride some as a single parent
Heartbreak takes time to heal overcome obstacles
Work is to survive others become workaholics to avoid the change that's hard to cope with
Or some try to drown out their sorrows using alcohol hoping to fill that hole so they can be whole feel complete

Some people could live a double life
He struggled with living one
Working on self improvement
Personal growth eyes wide open
Seeing straight no more distractions
Rising above the hate not grounded
Too many detours fighting to make it
All the heartbreaking set backs
After all the years of doing the job
Now it's official seen as the real thing
Not being taken seeing as a joke
Things got serious very intense
No one is playing anymore

Doing it making the most of it all. Woke up sore that's the best feeling. Just work it earn it no one is going to do it for you. Nothing wrong with being happy over all the guilt trips. Caring for all the wrong people. You empower them to do good be great, but chose to be bad at their worse.

He woke up to get his haircut at the shop with the fellas seeing them makes his morning.  he cleans up well so he decided to get his uni brow waxed. He went and heard all the gossip in the salon. Around lovely women made his morning since he's usually shy. As he gets old he knew it was important to take better care of himself. His groom days was his way of socializing even though he did meet people at work. Majority of the time he preferred to be alone. Times has changed and he did as well.

He worried getting his degree would be a piece of paper while he did the same job. He just wanted to learn and apply the principles not learn all these new social ways of living. He was open to change but things didn't turn out for the better more labels and boxes that kept him out. When he was in the mix lots of contradiction and confusion.
Told to ask question, now everyone is easily offended or upset for trying to make sense.  Staying loyal and true within rubbed people the wrong way.

Dealing with change part of life
Onto new jobs starting a new
Leaving the old ones behind
A new crowd didn't fit in or belong
Might be easier somewhere new
Will miss the friendships that made work easy
No more taking on the power struggle
Empowering useless leadership
Not able to grow feeling weighed down
All the burden picking up the slack
Filling the void not worth it or fun anymore

When you leave move on to a new chapter sometimes you want to take people with you
Starting over: new friends, new home, new beginnings
You don't want to replace old friends but people come and go like the seasons
A new home is like a shell you move into a new one because you out grew the old one.
Some things you don't want them to end
The hardest part is starting but the worse part is when it comes to an end
A new start is great but getting comfortable always makes change seem overwhelming
The heart is with home where it all started to grow
Leaving is a struggle to become an individual become independent
Some will always see you as a child no matter how old you grow
Tough love made you strong able to sense wrong not easily mainpulated or mean to be controlled
You protect your heart even thought it was once worn on your sleeve
Gone so far not going back older wiser never the same

The house on the hill in the middle of no where
You can see it from the highway at night you see the lights from within
A lonely home islolated barely noticed in the distance unless you are looking for it
The loud road cars racing can't be heard on the hill looking up from the street
The house looks down on traffic like a watch tower
The people who live there never seen

He was anxious to meet people but they always kept him out but he did like people being social. He wasn't like the rest he was honest because it makes things easier and he didn't like being lied to so why like to others. He was getting older marriage and kids not in his cards. He did enjoy life so many friends came and went like the seasons. Some had families and he respected that others had controlling girlfriends he didn't agree but they got married who was he to come between that. He was part of the dating world but now a days it's shallow and slim pickings. He was working being responsible some women want you to have it together want this high standard of life they can't even live up to.
The young ones did find him attractive most young and wild living life not ready to settle down. He was open to commitment but no one was willing or ready to settle down. He noticed everyone was stuck on an ex or a failed engagement not ready to move on to the next not losing faith on someone they truly love blind to the reality they had found someone new replacing them but in denial not losing faith stuck but one day that person said I deserve better and broke free from the madness and insanity instead of holding on to the past like a blanket of security. Found strength moved forward trying to find love not losing faith because it once was real now make it a reality

New mind set and way of doing things. He hasn't dated for a while thought about jumping back into it but after a few stressful from the past left him scared. I will get hired on fulltime and will get the courage to ask a girl out not be shy or nervous. Need to get back in shape my body doesn't heal or feel the same. I'm not mad sad or depressed I let that all go. No more trying to convince Megan to love me because she's married and has two kids. Or worrying about my friends because they forgot about me and don't give a **** about me. I ruined ivans relationship I don't blame him for not being my friend. I slept with Casey but she was a huge ***** that's why Jesus hates me. I told the truth looked out for a friend sad how they cut me only when they need something other wise they don't care about me. I love Dave but we can't be friends all he does is talk **** blame everyone for his life and negative I don't need negative and toxic people in my life. I love my family with them or without them I'll be my on person. I'm tired of making people happy and I'm miserable. I don't knock people to feel better about myself or use people I find a way and do it all myself. I miss people but I don't belong there or they don't want me ***** them it will comeback to them I'm not too worried. I mind my business and keep to myself. I'm glad she trusts me she's cute I'm sure she'll figure it out.

He took a chance and failed
Didn't want to disappoint others
Did the business then it went sour
All the favors never returned
Helped a friend it was an act
Manipulated by a two faced fiend
Hard to trust anyone heard all the lies
Actions that spoke otherwise
Not forcing it or pretending it's cool
Tired of listening to tangents
Feeding a useless ego that crushes others

Going through the motions before the real thing most hate practice but practice is where you develop and grow your skills. Trying to find a new jujitsu gym not into the politics. Just want to train and grow in the sport.
He didn't care for politics, they were never in his favor. Over all the labels others tried placing on him. He was more than the baby sitter since these parents didn't take him serious. He didn't have a job but helped out got involved as he rose they kept him out. He would find his own way back on his own path. He was tried of explaining to people who didn't listen.
Being around people that didn't value him. He was burnt out from it all and lost it all thinking how to get back on track and do it right.

He wondered being creative
What moment of his life
He could put on the page
Possibly turn it into a scene
It loops in the back of his mind
His wild imagination off the charts
Trying to keep it simple
Not aware of his audience
Older use to being alone
Appreciating the art of story telling
Straight to the point is easy
Too much detail could be wordy
Over thinking tone possibilities

Woke up so much on the mind
Jump in the car drive fast on the road
Loud music blairing while the wind blows
The open window cool air hitting the face
On the road cruising the streets so my troubles will blow away
Or on the high way racing so you can forget all the worries on the back of your mind

Things don't make sense anymore
Once was wrong not it's right
So many turn a blind eye
don't care unless it's about them
Broke free to be on my own
Too much going on in the mind
Hard to sleep thoughts are deep
Asking do I have it anymore
Does it matter will I make a difference
What happened to me, who I was
Can't be that person anymore
so many remind me of who I was
instead of accepting me for who I am
Who I've become not sure anymore
Things will never be the same
Grow and changed can't live in the past
Smile is real not faking it since it's real
so many mistake it for weakness

Monty had been wanting to explore the world he was tired of being a hermit and work his life became a routine. Be spontaneous didn't get attached people come and go.
He loved to train MMA but it wasn't gun with all the gym politics they didn't take him serious. He worked with the fighters that would compete when he talked about it with the coach they showed no interest. His team mates made him