As I grow older friends get married
Some have kids and start families
Sad how everyone grows a part
Some find success and achieve greatness
Others get lost and struggle with addiction
So many struggle with loss and change
Sometimes change is good others have a hard time with it
Divorce occur with failed trust or conflict of interest
Some have kids but don't see them and struggle to pride some as a single parent
Heartbreak takes time to heal overcome obstacles
Work is to survive others become workaholics to avoid the change that's hard to cope with
Or some try to drown out their sorrows using alcohol hoping to fill that hole so they can be whole feel complete

Being the voice of reason
Everything changing a new season
Thankful for the old times
Blessed with the new crew
Finally got props from the team
Usually working hard feeling pointless
Mentoring others that want to learn
Trying to help constructive criticism
Being pushed by corrupt leadership
Years of being used finally rising up
Learning everything possible
Can't wait around on anyone
From behind the scenes to a lead
Taking charge since no one wants it

The people talking don't do anything
That's why no one talks about them
They'll make you out to be the bad guy
Slander your name just run with it
Sooner or later the lies exposed with the truth
Some get comfortable disrespecting you
Someone will check and put them in their place
The mouth keeps talking and will get caught up
Some have a bad day why make it worse
If it's possible to help out
Contribute be the solution
Not add to the problem

He told his cousin it would comeback to her. You can't disrespect people and expect them to listen. She got comfortable telling others her opinion when no one asked. People appreciate honest the blindside would make people more angry.

Eventually all that would comeback to her. All the lies and deceit would come out secrets exposed. Talking down or bad about others doesn't make you a better person. One opinion doesn't matter but trying to manipulate others to follow your hateful methods is unacceptable.

Some people already have it hard they don't need you pointing out the obvious or trying to make them feel the way you're projecting your insanity on them. You dk their life or what they are thinking. how they are feeling to impose your intrusive thoughts.

New year focused on being better
Got close but never broke through
Pushed back made waves
Dealt with the backlash
Usually sit in silence and mindful
Doing things that need to be done
Most try to guilt or tell you your wrong
They'd rather watch you help than succeed
Willing to help but they'll bail on you
Got use to being alone
Enjoying ones company

He would strike out again
Anxious to get out of this slump
He would work on his game
Everything he loved was slipping away
He practiced and tried seeing in from all angles
The game was life if he quit
asking where he would end up
It was all he had it made him happy
The power behind his swing the timing was off
Throwing the ball was painful but needed his arm
All he wanted was to get on first kept it simple
The home run swing is missing the game changed
He loved it but his time was running out

He had dreams about kids
Married to someone from the past
No longer associated with anymore
Wondering what they meant
Going forward not going back
Escaped with bad memories
Do better in the next relationship
Heal from the things doing better

Changing things up time management
Making the most of what's given
Wish people would talk to one another
Instead of talking about each other
Over taking on egos that are two faced
Not empowering people condescension
Saying one thing actions cause conflict
Seen through the act left in confusion
Trusted the wrong people left in doubt
Spoke soft to see who's listening
Calm collected maintained
Talked loud many with a lack of interest

Fell of trying to get back on track feeling distracted trying to stay centered and composed. Working hard barely getting it done trying to stay strong not fall back into bad habits. The sugar calming the nerves becoming a craving every time stress feels high. Anxiety taunting you telling you the opposite of what needs to be done. Being ******* yourself since it feels like it's on you no more passing through filling the void.

Ready to go home over the drama
Ready to leave see my mama
My time is done time to have some fun
Spoke my mind told the truth don't need to run
No need to blame it on the alcohol to make a drunk call
Always the same but the filter breaks under the influence telling the truth everyone gets so defensive
Called them on their shady ways not they made plotting revenge to make me pay
Already honest and modest not putting up with all this taking it all in because you going through some BS sorry you choose to go through and settle for less
The time is up going home don't need to listen to everyone issues get the tissues this is work leave at the at home. Focus on the job your are a mess at least pretend you are grow. Shut up work get paid who knows you might get made paid more so hang in there until next time off the clock got to go

Live life to the fullest
After a brother was executed
It was like living for two
After a liver transplant
You learn to live for you
Stay loyal and true to yourself

Kind of annoyed always straight up and forward open to talk but making me out to be the bad guy because you are overwhelmed. Being two face won't get you anywhere but you make problems and don't deal with them. I help try to provide solutions Im not permanent but work like a fulltimer because it's the right thing to do you knock me down but I'll comeback show you how it's done. You expect too much but never give or make an effort to talk about your concerns. You lash out bark but no bite I respect your calls even if you are wrong. Ive made mistakes and owned up while you act flawless and careless towards others

In the dark trying to rest the sound of chirping birds in the distance. Time to rise and greet the day in return. Nature vibe make the world feel a live. Times have changed full of rage but let go don't be afraid to turn the page. Focused on today fresh start and be more, the past is yesterday which is forgotten.

Not the same anymore
Ppl talking lies not able to trust
Actions that made things personal
Rather than seek revenge cut the cord
Claiming to love you but with another
Wanting to show love selectively
After causing hurt same bad behavior
Not rewarding toxic living with good
Empowering corruption manipulation

There was no going back for him, his ex wanted to start over but they had failed before. Why make the same mistake. He was broken and she was pleading because she didn't want to be alone. The tough love and history was not enough to to keep them together. He preferred to be alone while she couldn't handle being alone clinging to anyone who gave her the time of day.
He was learning to love again most of all love himself through the though times. He gave his all to her it was not enough. He wasn't her type she settled and made him feel unwelcomed. While he tried to make it work the outcome was never good enough.
It was over no going back since he had moved on dated right away and he waited gave himself time to grow and heal after being in a difficult relationship. Coping was all new since he always kept dusting himself off and moving forward not staying in places that made him feel unvalued and no appreciated. If it didn't feel right he kept searching for new a place to call his own but got use to being a drifter.

He hates critics he was wild fun over the top. He got hated on stood tall and strong. It all came crashing down. He was self destructive tore himself down to be accepted one thing he truly regrets. He was honest but stopped talking and listened all he heard was bs and excuses. He was one who tried all they did was knock him point out a flaw after all his hard work and effort. He worked harder than most failed. Tried never have up and failed. He was going through all this saying soon my time will come. He took the back burner saying this will get me ready for the next level and it never happened. He took criticism proved them wrong did it because they said it couldn't be done. He was used chewed up spot out. They blew past him and went for someone who ****** up Not because they were qualified. He was denied but kept saying he's meant for something better. They made him out to be someone he was not. He knew who he was but they kept telling him otherwise. Be this way do that but they weren't doing it; who and why do they think, they know better.
Always thankful to be working because know what it's like to lose a job and not have one. How to deal with heartache when someone doesn't appreciate how you feel about them. People always want to change you but don't want to change themselves or make others look bad because they aren't doing anything. Break free reinvent yourself so you are better and happy avoid and cut out What's bad and not making you better. It doesn't happen right away but don't settle or quit kelp trucking. A loss can to a gain take it learn from the weakness and improve. Keep at it something will give in the end you can either get better or be one of the best at it.

Wake up do it all over this routine gets old and time for a change. So much on my mind and needs to be done. I wrote scripts that never go used. I wrote monologues that need to be performed. Writing is fun but I use it to vent always listening to others and have no one to hear my frustrations after I write it takes the anxiety away.
Making sense of these built up thoughts pit on the spot never ready or sure what to expect half the time. The moment passed and was missed so many other things on my mind.

New plans and ideas to rise up. From the bottom to the top spoke up tired of being silent. Knowing having an opinion causes enemies instead of bringing gaps. Not taking the crap anymore took a stand even if it meant being alone.
Hard to sleep with "what if" on the mind? Asking "when?" And is it truly worth it. So many ideas the heart dk how to feel or what to think anymore this mind racing on the redline.

Not one to complain if it's not in my favor I don't care
Keep working hard going strong do what's right not into empowering evil deeds
Not buying into the wicked not one to cheat to win
Not into the cheaters a bunch of man eaters
Golddigger who claim the prize but did nothing
They don't deserve to be their stealing the credit
No more lies or buying into them
Cut me out talk bad out me you'll regret it
You decided to oppose me don't ask me for a favor forget it
Worked hard and sick still fighting to make it to the end
Someone get praised for doing nothing
While I do as much as possible not even acknowledged

He was always shy till he got to know the person. He admired her smile and appreciated when they talked. They both had their own crowds two world could they coexist in one together. He was use to being alone while she stood out made the crowds seem fun. He was new to dating a late bloomer while she was experienced wise for her age.
He wanted the perfect moment but he had to make it happen. Things never felt right he saw it one way that was not the reality. It played out in his head his confidence was there but when it came to the moment he froze up couldn't speak. The thought of rejection or no froze his body deep in thought millions of ideas coming into the mind.
He didn't want to hurt or hurt her. Thoughts of this crush turning into more that admiration turning to hate. He wanted to grow with her but she had no clue how he felt. He did feel something. Hard to react on these bottled up unexpressed emotions. Never too old to love but always hard to start over mixed emotions mixed signals not sure how to feel.
Every crush he had the girl was taken or not into guys they both usually like the same kind of girls. He didn't expect much but was tired of hearing about their bad relationship giving advice helping them work it out when all he wanted was for it to end over all the games no more pretending to be okay when it's eating him up inside keeping secrets about fading love made him lose interest in relationships. He had a few unhealthy crazy flings those crazy insecure crushes would cause him to protect his heart making it hard to express himself his words would cause them hurt but he was being honest learned about sensitivity even though he grew up with honesty made him insensitive. Always looking for the right words new love old love was there but always came to an end without him being ready to let go had no say. Hated to overthink let go of that pain. Felt like himself normal free even though he's use to being weird and alone.

You trust and respect them they don't value you. You worked for yours while one is juiced in the higher ups gave him everything. The other was a great work but been selective on efforts. He did value his team seen himself as a team player playing a major role.
Took one for the team but not taking the heat for someone with bad instructions. Followed the leads orders to get the job done all the wrong tools were provided.
The lead given his spot with heat because his bad rep is toxic. Sad you can't get ahead or trust anyone. Mistakes were made let's fix them and learn from them. Trying to man up own up do what's right. Outsiders will talk but they don't know they aren't there.

On the mats knee banged up
Caught in a wrist lock
Work on defense to counter
Trying to survive the round
An older body limited rolling
With a younger opponents
Hoping to burn out their energy
Apply the technique use momentum
Be patient experience taking on speed

I remember the good blind to the bad. Dk the whole story not sure how to act or respond seems like you're always mad. I'd like to he happy. Extra tired being drained not living up to these made up standards that no one cares to live upto.
All the talk and no action. False promise words that hold no meaning. Time wasted lost in every pointless conversation. Not feeding an ego or giving up on efforts to be liked be accepted by people that do nothing but talk about one another.
Don't burning energy to pretend like everything is cool when the betrayal is shady doing the hard workers *****.

Woke up eager and ready to go
Tell me no makes me want it more
Did it myself doing my best to maintain
All the pain heals and open to grow
Feeling myself over others doubting
No love but earning my way keep trucking
Haven't happened yet everything falling a part
Hopefully falling leads to falling into place
New friends old friends just need people accept
They can't handle rejection always holding a grudge
They deny others but can't handled being rejected
Woke up grateful doing my thing too bad no one is happy for me
Been doing what I love so no reason to be sad or miserable
Had it once lost it but working to get it back
Things aren't always meant to be every path leads to somewhere
Praying I end up where I'm meant to be been going strong
Take time to notice what's going on because might miss the view
Sometimes things don't feel right but things are going well
Lots of making it better and not enough enjoyment

Sometimes you have to cut ties
You get tired of lies and stories
They have no respect for you
If they could lie to your face
Trying to BS their way through
Rather than work hard to earn it
Don't borrow money or say you will
If you can pay your debt
Eventually your words mean nothing
Holding no value a lost cause
Stop wasting others time
Trying to make manipulate others
With a bias agenda an evil demeanor
Fueled by hate and anger the ugly side
Not empowering the insanity
Or feeding into passive selective hearing
Not playing those mindgames walked away
Silence is strong focused on being better
Where the weak are loud in protest
Trying to make a camp of followers
To hate a person for having an opinion and being different

Just because its going on doesn't mean you need to get involved. Sometimes you win and they try to discredit you. Once crap hits the fan they want to give you all the credit.

I'd rather do my own thing than clean up another mess I didn't make. People will betrayal you but just keep a distance. I don't care to hold a grudge, but if I don't trust a person. I'd rather not be involved.

I tolerate and forgive realizing things will never change. Some will never take accountability for their actions. When there's no scapegoat that's the person will get caught up. No one to blame but themselves be responsible for your actions.

He laid his head on her lap, she played with his hair asked him about his day. He looked at her and smiled. Thankful he had her, he wasn't confident but glad he made an effort to pursue her. She held his hand and kissed his forehead. She laid next to him and pulled him close. he was big spoon and she was little spoon. She would put her ear near his heart and hear it beat. She like to be close because he was warm and she got cold easily. He had a hard time sleeping he didn't want to miss a thing when they were together. They'd watch movies and tell stories share their deep dark secrets and express themselves in a healthy manner.

Proving yourself making mistakes
Taking the heat not accepting defeat
Struggling can't stay down forever
All the hurt let it go to heal
Memories fade less impact
Feeling saved for the moment
Emotions are stable composed

He was a new person and ran into people from the past they tried to judge him remind of who he was and use to be. He was no longer that person they once knew. He started new made changes cut out the negative and toxic people. He did care for his friends but did not want to compromise who he became to make them happy. He was his own person; he did miss the group, but they did not represent him or speak on his behalf.
They tried to shame him for his bad habits that he no longer did anymore. He walked away because he knew it was no longer the same. He could not go back they tried to replace him. He was no longer part of the tripod. He helped them get started on projects but after being ignored and denied. They claimed he was part of the group but his input was never taken into consideration.
He started his own projects where he found gratification and satisfaction for his efforts.
He learned he couldn't find himself in others and being part of a group would only limit him so he decided to do what he loved and pursued his passion. He cared for people valued them but they did not think highly of him. He wasn't materialistic but they did take his cut of his investment. He let it go found his own way.

All we do is hurt one another
Not a match or meant to be
Hard to shake can't take it anymore
What I thought was right is now wrong
Look of disgust and broken trust
From smiles to smirks the heart turn black
That love turns to hate evil eyes Pierce the soul
From eye contact to hard to look at
From hugs and love to avoiding one another

Called ghetto for standing up for myself
Told the truth everyone is mad
The lies continue to fester and pester
Easier to walk away everything lost value
Only in it for the insurance for medication
Called a super hero for bouncing back
Trying to be normal after surgery
Always seen as different standing tall

Sad how people are so jealous of one another. Why can't people be happy for one another; accepting of everyone's differences.  They see you as a threat because you're not afraid to try, step up to the plate. Asking questions instead of just taking what's given. He walks away but they provoke him once you strikes back, unleashes his wrath; they are quick to play the victim.
She cheated on him he confronted her; she cried and blamed him instead of owning up. His best friend got mad at him because his gf had a fling with his girl before they were ever anything. They slandered his name and judged him harshly. He quit drinking but now they are doing all the things that guilted him about doing. His ex and best friend got together to get back at him. He already walked away because they held a grudge but tried to make him a target but was not showing any weakness or giving into their deceitfulness not giving into the manipulation. He  never seen so much corruption.

He was tired of being numb
Years of writing skinning the issues
Now gutting them talking about it
From thinking it was foolish
That's how it played out
His heart fooled believing one thing
But their actions told another story
He hated being wrong but it happens
Wanting it things turned out different
Accepting it was hard to take in
Feelings and emotions became unsettling

They'll bad mouth you
Don't listen keep being better
Try to knock you down
Get back up go hard
Slander your name
Stay clear of their dirt
Saying it can't be done
You've already done it
Fighting to survive positive vibes
Not feeding egos by giving in
Crazy enough to stand alone
Come back for more no surrender
Family becomes strangers
Friends become foes
Learning to walk tall use to being alone

Cutting ties feeling free
Forgave the person moved
After all the lies never ending
All the manipulation the deceit
No longer involved staying away
Looked out plenty of warnings
Still learning the hard way
Ditching the responsibility others don't want
Not being accountable for stealing
Quick to blame others made a mistake