A fan of the sport
Enjoy the moment
Over all the criticism
Negative talk bad behavior
Bounce back from the demotion
More to life than a job
Thought about dating
Traveling to new place
Break the cycle escape routine
Spend time with family
Find love with the right one
Be around the right people
The wrong drain fueling energy
Toxic vibes stay away
Walk away towards greatness

The week is up and down but make the most of everything. Working hard and staying focused so the task at hand could be completed. Making work fun playing music so time passes in an up beat manner. Haven't had time to write no excuse make time. Everytime I write it's my way of coping putting life into perspective.
Telling fun stories and making my characters always makes worth while. You see and feel the vibe makes the creative process worth doing. Haven't been feeling like me but letting go of things that don't matter. Living up to my goals and standards.
Being my own person since I'm not a follower. Too many make you out to be someone you're not and expect you to be someone they can't be. Ready for the weekend making the most of my down time. Lock my door listen to music read and write. Everything will be alright because made it and back at it again next week.

No longer suffering in silence
Speaking up calling out the problem
Use to bring solutions got ignored
Holding these leads accountable like I hold myself
Never an excuse things need to be done
Always moving forward taking responsibility
While leads delegates the work on others
Acting like they are doing on top of things
Only a team when all fails then help is needed
Bad communication ******* over the team
The nerve to expect a favor from the workers

He liked her but didn't feel worthy. It was what he wanted but it didn't feel right. Everything felt rushed or unresolved forced made out to be something it wasn't.  Scared to lose her but he never had her.
She was with someone else and he watched her from a distant. A friend with a crush becoming a distant stranger. From hearing her complain about her relationship to an awkward silence. It was a done deal he didn't know how to fix it or make things right a lost cause.
He let go walked away feeling like he left part of himself behind. It he waited around he'd feel dead inside hating himself more. Never had a chance or made a move he felt the vibe there was chemistry he wanted to believe but there was always a roadblock or conflict of interest that kept them apart.

Let it flow from the heart causing aches
The mindset changes with each line
Writing about the distraction
Taking away from tormenting thoughts
Instead of empowering it letting it grow
All these scenarios made up in the mind
All these possibilities that never happen
Things play out differently due to reality
Never accordingly the mind preps for it

Made out to be the bad guy
Why are they mad
Because no don't care
Trying to slander his name
Belittle his character
Hell never talk about them
They are not a thought
Never going to be a priority
For their devious acts
Not tolerating deceitful behavior
He doesn't care to be right or liked
The truth will conquer misleading lies

Over thinking mind can't rest
Wide awake should be sleeping
Watched movies to pass time
Writing scripts one scene at a time
Inspired by creativity story telling
Give others hope during the struggle
Surviving on all levels rising up
The underdog fighting to make it
Escape poverty for a better life
Dealing with new emotional inventory
Feelings from the past clashing with new
Mind open to change with a numb heart
Sacrifice gone wrong emotionally burned

He looked at pix of old friends wondering how they are he missed them. Some were busy with families others wanted nothing to do with him. He made mistakes and stayed away he was sorry but would never be treated the same or seen an equal.
He could only lower himself for so long tired of lowering himself feeling degraded for forgiveness. Things would never change or be the same so he had to cut the cord and move on. They weren't saving his place but pushing him out. It was tough learned the hard way there was no going back. He was human tired of everyone trying to make him out to be a crazy person since he had an opinion and spoke his mind.

Back to work after 6 months of being down. I'd rather do it alone. I've been my own advocate till the doctor suggested a care taker. It was scary but I had to be brave. My motto was crazy enough to comeback for more.
Lots of praying giving it to God. Part of me wants to argue but it's not worth or worthy of my time. Trying to change not going back to bad habits. Not back tracking or stopping for anyone trying to derail the track.

Woke up and realized it don't matter anymore
He doesn't have to dwell on the past
Living in the moment focused on the future
No more memories haunting his days
Can't remember the past all that is a daze
Free from the burden that weighed him down
All who kept him out are no longer around
Thinking for himself not influenced by others
No more voices telling him he couldn't
Back to doing his thing without doubt
Use to being alone and could go without
Not like the rest that's okay different for a reason
Not meant to fit in made to be different
He seen them weak vulnerable never judged them
The tried to knock him, he was secure confident with himself.
He had a mouth lethal like a weapon
he said nothing they talked provoked him
Once he spoke, shut them up silence was fuel
now they play victim now he's the bad guy
He broke free turned his back waiting for the attack
knifed before not surprised to add another to his collection
Avoiding negative people not inhaling their toxic vibes. Not allowing their poisonous debris seep into his pores
He was immune didn't want to be a virus like them but become the cure.
Rather then hold on he let go of them and no longer saving room for their disappointment. He was not one of them he was from another mold and they were the same never willing to change their ways.
He was open minded positive open to grow and changed believed there was no limited
While they told him no to think realistically. He had traveled the world experienced more than them as they stayed in their bubble like if could control everything. He refused to empower them and focused on his journey being more than he could imagine. He tried more than most he would not be denied and not settled. The cream will rise break through the glass ceiling on many occasions he's touched it been there but now he was ready to make it on the next level.

He faded away didn't care to live up to the hype. Struggling with his situation not taking on others frustrations. Always giving his all it was catching up to him. He wanted to shut down more determined than the rest another loved one distracted sending toxic vibes his way.
Not always right didn't have the answer.

She noticed him and he noticed her, there was a sparkle in their eyes. They would meet through a mutual friend. He smiled and said hi. She noticed his ****** piercings and asked if it hurt. Both with big smiles. He noticed her brown hair that was curly like curly fries.
They talked got to know one another he was brown and she was mixed. She enjoyed his company, he was not use to anyone caring because he grew up with tough love. They spent time together it was rewarding and all new to this late bloomer. He remembered the first time they kissed it was magicial intense his heart skipped a beat things felt right for once.
Eventually it would be short lived since the puppy love fadee away. From close to complete stranger being in the same room was no longer possible. They got anxiety and not able to communicate.

With pictures on the wall reminding you of good times. Pondering and wondering what happened to the good time? You are older and wiser before you told yourself you'd never get old it's a state of mind. New friends old friends everything changes even if you want it or not.
Those photos tell stories moments you wish one can recreate live all over again and some you just glad they happened moved on to the next. Treasured moments by the heart some cycle stuck on a loop in the mind, the memories fresh like the day it happened. Sometimes the hardest part is taking down those photos you stare at them and it takes you back. Question the outcome sadly you can't change those events. Some forgive you and move on others hold a grudge and cut you out of their life. While some create families and start a life with their one true love. Some it happens right away others live and will eventually settle down. Photos show how far you gone from young to old, from thin to thick. A time when you were single the beginning of love some are during a tough time but you smile through it all.

He was too old to be mad and beefing with everyone. He did distance himself from things been working on being a better version of himself. Some still think he's that person they met long ago. He did make mistakes he's been wrong learned the lesson and forgave himself learned to no expect much so he won't be disappointed. Knowing if he wanted it he would have to work for it and earn it.
He's thankful for the people that accepted him. He was tired of altering himself to be accepted. Not this person they made him out to be.

The clock ticks and tocks
Time feels like it's running out
Trying to do it so close yet so far
Coming up short another plan
Still doing it haven't got to the next level

Some people change for the better
While others are stuck with trauma
Room to grow time to improve
Not easy to get over things right away
Working harder told you don't belong
Looked down on like it couldn't be done
Treated different all the doubt used
As motivation to get strong
Improving to be better at work
Proving them wrong changing it up
Most of all to yourself taking credit
Stop with the discredit always working it
Because they refused to give you props
All the roadblocks fade onto new challenges
The journey is full of detours
Make the most of it and learn

He needed help and got tired of waiting on people
His time wasn't valued or respected
Dealing with attitudes his "help" not morning people
He loved them feeling betrayed
Angry because they are not reliable
Telling him not to stress making it hard
Thankful and blessed not settling for less

Waiting around ready to get out of town
On the road and no where need home
Can't go back but no where to go
Judge for being different but not following
Why fit in when the rules keep changing never in my favor
Not playing anymore walking away is the best way to be free
Think what hurts most is this hate is coming from the ones I love
I think highly of them but they don't see me as anything
like glass looking right through me trying to break me shatter into a million pieces
Works for them not working for me
Always adapt and adjust so much broken trust
The anger is blocked out because overreaction means they got the best of you by being just like them
In such a phase sometimes overwhelmed in a daze. Sharing my thoughts feelings everyone sees it like a craze phase. One gets them to gang up on you they can't beat you alone
The one who's sending the hate ain't anything just pretending to be great.
You don't answer or respond now they act surprised not giving into the lies or making excuses a sorry alibi

Wanted to sleep in but work called me in
Thought about quitting so I can do some living
Soul searching doing what I really want
Haven't felt like me for a while just in this routine
My job doesn't define my full potential
Let the words flow through my heart
Clear my mind pursing what I truly love
Pen or keyboard the feelings and thoughts are pure
Writing has been the cure to help grow and mature
It's been deep since I've had anyone close in life
Someone who I can trust that understands
Always alone a rebel not like the rest clan
Trying to fit in but walked away not settling for less
Forgiving others is the hardest part since you think they'd change too bad things remain the same

Feeling trapped in my head so many make me think k onto over thinking.
I like my job but over being bounced around. I'd like to focus on what I love which is writing and jujitsu so many time conflicts and restrains that make me think and wonder.
I write all the time some tell me I'm good, while others criticize ripping me a new one. Some people like to get in your head ruin your inner peace because they are not happy with themselves. I'm one to help and encourage others, I use to want and help others; I'd rather be alone found comfort in my own company.
Took time out to figure it out, things don't feel right others try to contaminate your good vibes
Sometimes I want to write and post other times; I just save them, why write if you can't share.
I don't know sometimes, things pile up in my head. Writing is the only way to get it out, also podcasting, I love express myself that's why people get mad at me because I tell the truth lieing takes up too much, time and energy. I prefer to be straight up. Been a while trying to get back at it

Of course "you think you're better than me. Why don't you act like it." He said in a heated argument. He didn't have much but worked hard and thankful for what he had. He'd rather do his own thing than bother with everyone's drama and criticism. He became immune to being alone he found peace. When people called or texted him they wanted or needed something it did rub him the wrong way. Giving his all and expecting nothing in return was more demanding when all he wanted was to be left alone.

Woke up eager and ready to go
Tell me no makes me want it more
Did it myself doing my best to maintain
All the pain heals and open to grow
Feeling myself over others doubting
No love but earning my way keep trucking
Haven't happened yet everything falling a part
Hopefully falling leads to falling into place
New friends old friends just need people accept
They can't handle rejection always holding a grudge
They deny others but can't handled being rejected
Woke up grateful doing my thing too bad no one is happy for me
Been doing what I love so no reason to be sad or miserable
Had it once lost it but working to get it back
Things aren't always meant to be every path leads to somewhere
Praying I end up where I'm meant to be been going strong
Take time to notice what's going on because might miss the view
Sometimes things don't feel right but things are going well
Lots of making it better and not enough enjoyment

Worked hard about to get off thinking what to eat and what to read That's the best way to end the night. Wake up do it all over again. Thankful to be working consistent instead of worrying where I'll be and end up. Always open to learn and grow finding my way not like everyone else or settling for less.

Saw beauty in her eyes and wanted to be much more. He loved the world saw a smile that melted his heart. Laughter that was soothing to his soul. Admired others for being different everyone has their own life to live. Make the most of it. He loved to travel the scenery made him feel at home. He appreciated the taste of great food with amazing company. So many wonderful experiences he wanted to share but those he admired he kept close to his heart treasured those good times because they made his life feel finer more rich with wealth that gave him comfort. Always on edge trying to make it happen get it done he misses things but he didn't want to rest because he didn't want to miss a thing. It felt like something was missing but found it was there he just had to make time for it.

He was anxious to meet people but they always kept him out but he did like people being social. He wasn't like the rest he was honest because it makes things easier and he didn't like being lied to so why like to others. He was getting older marriage and kids not in his cards. He did enjoy life so many friends came and went like the seasons. Some had families and he respected that others had controlling girlfriends he didn't agree but they got married who was he to come between that. He was part of the dating world but now a days it's shallow and slim pickings. He was working being responsible some women want you to have it together want this high standard of life they can't even live up to.
The young ones did find him attractive most young and wild living life not ready to settle down. He was open to commitment but no one was willing or ready to settle down. He noticed everyone was stuck on an ex or a failed engagement not ready to move on to the next not losing faith on someone they truly love blind to the reality they had found someone new replacing them but in denial not losing faith stuck but one day that person said I deserve better and broke free from the madness and insanity instead of holding on to the past like a blanket of security. Found strength moved forward trying to find love not losing faith because it once was real now make it a reality

He would strike out again
Anxious to get out of this slump
He would work on his game
Everything he loved was slipping away
He practiced and tried seeing in from all angles
The game was life if he quit
asking where he would end up
It was all he had it made him happy
The power behind his swing the timing was off
Throwing the ball was painful but needed his arm
All he wanted was to get on first kept it simple
The home run swing is missing the game changed
He loved it but his time was running out

Growing up poor made me want to do more and be better. The new generation wants to lower standards and wants everything handed without doing anything to earn it. Like a relationships some want all the perks with no commitment. People only last months I admire my grandparents relationship 65 years together. I understand people grew up different my elder set examples I applied it to my life.
I respect change when there's order and everyone benefits. now a days all these protests and laws are not enforced. It's a lost cause wasting taxes and time.

A week earlier

A young man and this girl he was into hung out this day would change everything. They felt like a couple and had all the benefits but he wanted to make official he wanted her to be his girl. Turns out she had other plans she like how everything was going but didn't want to take it to that level. Things became awkward and weird. The two grew distant and things would never be the same.
He would confront her try to make it right but things got much worse. She was with a new person and things looked serious.
He was broken deep down and said nothing. Later her roommate would confront the broken man. She apologized for her roomies actions because the truth came out this girl was not loyal and was stringing along, this nice caring person.
The guy felt bad and hurt till a few months later he decided to move on and date again.
He met a young girl sweet wasn't his type but she would ask him out for coffee. He didn't drink coffee but did like hot chocolate. They would socialize get to know one another better. Till he felt confident and trusted her worked up the courage to ask her out on a date. Get to know her more be free from the previous death grip that burden him.
While on their date his evil ex would see them, later he would be confronted by her; she would ask, who is that and how long have you been seeing on another? The guy was puzzled, why would she care; who he dated. she was already with someone. To make things or confusing she told him she missed him then kissed him on the cheek.
The guy didn't not get this rejection but did grow while dating.

Working to pursue a dream
Lots of body aches and pains
On this journey to somewhere new
Can't stay stuck in the old looping past
Doing less work for him talked about
Doing too much still had them talking
All the pain faded but still intense
All the drama no longer welcomed
Taking over trying not to fail
Not be consumed by angered frustration

Fire in the belly ready to burn through
Not going back or staying down
Rising up let go of the past
Going forward head up going strong
Avoiding another downwards spiral
Toxic people not the place anymore
Meant for better loose from anguish
Shame on this face disgust seeping out
Wrestling pain bad memories remain
Taking back control trying to live
Dealing with the unknown surviving
A life outside this building
Change the situation save yourself

He gave up his dream for love and it didn't work out. Learning to love himself trying to get back on track. He's not far from success but knows it will take hard work to get there. Battled up hill battles and struggled to make it through make it to the end the others side no where to run or hide. He couldn't avoid his destiny when the people he loved became a distraction. More road blocks and obstacles he didn't need or want the toxic to destroy his vision.

There was no going back for him, his ex wanted to start over but they had failed before. Why make the same mistake. He was broken and she was pleading because she didn't want to be alone. The tough love and history was not enough to to keep them together. He preferred to be alone while she couldn't handle being alone clinging to anyone who gave her the time of day.
He was learning to love again most of all love himself through the though times. He gave his all to her it was not enough. He wasn't her type she settled and made him feel unwelcomed. While he tried to make it work the outcome was never good enough.
It was over no going back since he had moved on dated right away and he waited gave himself time to grow and heal after being in a difficult relationship. Coping was all new since he always kept dusting himself off and moving forward not staying in places that made him feel unvalued and no appreciated. If it didn't feel right he kept searching for new a place to call his own but got use to being a drifter.

Being the voice of reason
Everything changing a new season
Thankful for the old times
Blessed with the new crew
Finally got props from the team
Usually working hard feeling pointless
Mentoring others that want to learn
Trying to help constructive criticism
Being pushed by corrupt leadership
Years of being used finally rising up
Learning everything possible
Can't wait around on anyone
From behind the scenes to a lead
Taking charge since no one wants it

Another black eye swells up
Icing it while it goes numb and stings
Told the truth the argument got physical
Doesn't matter anymore egos got bitter
One life causing pain on others
The other doing what's right
The lioness was lusting wildly
Set in those bad habits
Unwilling to change a fit of rage