Things bugged so he didn't do it anymore
Now he feels to old to do anything
Trying to relax more to life than work
Changing up the routine no one to hang
Always on a different schedule
Hard to make plans no communication
He did his own thing tired of waiting
Feeling depressed it didn't happen right away
It made sense others didn't get it
Everyone confused didn't understand
Not given a fair chance just there
Excluded looking in not meant to stay
Pushing through rise to the next level

A battle of egos not playing games
Treated different for speaking up
Went along now being kept out
Stepped up now being set back
Used up then forgotten by corruption
One sided pretending to be a team player
If they aren't taking advantage
They don't care unless they get their way

Things are well for once all the negative people are gone he was on his path and was determined to make it to the next level. He didn't ask or want others influence because in his mind he had the plan and vision in his head even if the outcome did not come out accordingly. He learned to love himself and put his needs first. Things were better figuring out what he wanted building up confidence and courage to make his decision without others throwing their monkey wrench into his plans. He found passion in what he loves! Not worried if it was cool all that mattered was it made him happy. He had promised himself to be happy and let go of the past that kept surfacing because it was history and no longer mattered. He did change for people some for good and others didn't appreciate the sacrifice so it became for himself. The women that claimed to love him but with someone else he was not one to move on so ****** but did learn they are gone not coming back so no point in waiting around. He had many friends he valued deeply but they bad mouth him or holding a grudge because he called them out he was a good friend that told the truth. He would not be fake or a friend if he did lie.

The boy that loved a girl, they shared a moment. He would do anything to get that moment back. They grew a part from friends to strangers. Things would never be the same his heart said yes even though she wasn't right for him. She moved on married and kids while he thought about her life. He grew up with tough love and she was always the center of attention.

The struggle is real figuring it all out
Once you drop the drama get focused
Doing what you love and passionate about
Writing to end my day feels right
A night writer makes it easy to rest
Dream big so close yet so far
Accomplished goals still setting more
Open to grown one day my efforts will show
Keep waking up and shine bright
Failed and learn from the mistakes
crazy enough to come back for more
Every experience part of life
Better to live feel alive with positive vibes
Over being numb and going through the motions

He woke up late, and still felt restless. I debated what to have for breakfast. He walked into work knowing his crush would be there but he kept it professional. He never had good luck with the ladies. If he liked them they weren't interested or he never acted on those urges. They had unique conversations that shared a laugh or two. He never got the hit or cues because he was interested. He didn't want his feelings and urges to get the best of him. She was smart and determined to get her degree while he was hard working. They ran with different crowds might cause a conflict of interest.
He over thought and imagined the outcome, but still has yet to act on these thoughts. He has been wrong before.
He once admitted his feelings to a high school crush and she got with his so called best friend. Years later in college he met another girl no label but it did seek the benefits of a relationship. He decided maybe they should make it official turns out she had other plans he was a fling and got hurt in the process.
He always enjoyed his job even if it ****** found good in the people this made his job more tolerable. He was always focused on his career despite setbacks and detours he was determined. The hard part for him was finding balance.

Always keeping me from arguing
Preventing emotions from getting out
No time to process these feelings
Dealing with idiots and deep regret
People talk bad getting crazy
Once I do the same they are mad
The BS doesn't phase another craze
Lost in haze of recovery healing right
Writing to stay sane and maintain
Meditation helps cope with this pain
Hated for speaking up having an opinion
Called them out not absorbing the doubt

Thankful for the growth some people are set in their ways. I've learned to accept people flaw and all. I don't talk about anyone I just keep a distance because if there is a disagreement it leads to conflict. Then they try to assassin your character because they didn't get their way. Walking away keeping the peace while they aren't happy still stirring up controversy. Not one to feed egos or empower power trips. Not talking about anyone that try to change others because being right is more important than trying to understand. Don't care to be in a one sided argument because calling them on it leads to them trying to change the narrative so they don't have to deal with the consequences.

Can't stay stuck on the moment
Everything changed ready or not
Sometimes you don't want it to end
Other times it's over with no say
Rocky roads and failed friendships
Hurting one another giving one another space
Over time now strangers dk one each other
Everyone changes over a period of time
Things fade away over the years
Not doing that anymore or know that life
Not wearing a label from the past
Cleaned up the act not going back
Wanted to fix it make it work
Hard to do when it's one sided
Always the bad guy not playing the role anymore
Not giving up peace to please others
Stepping aside waiting on others
That don't share a dream or goal to achieve

He entered the building for the last time
Not sure what was ahead or what he would find
Always working hard no time for fun
Sober living not giving it up
Times had changed and never the same
He walked away nothing will change
All their rucus filled him with rage
He wanted to be close but they kept him out
After being turned away no reason to stay
They made him an option now he opted out
So sick of the hate over all the debate
He was not one of them no need to pretend
Time to cut the cord this needed to end
Smack talking for fun but made it personal
Taking shots ready unload the gun trigger happy
Spoken words of truth got the most hate
While words fueled with hate and lies got praised
All these wick ways left the hero in a daze
One mouth against three how could this be
Once each mouth isolated not a word was said
The hero stood tall ready to take them on
Once it came to an end the tension remained
Bubbling bad memories mentally stirring
Things that would've could've should've been said has them worrying

He always saw good in others then all of a sudden they changed. The glow the twinkle was gone from them. He asked what was wrong they told him nothing. There was some kind of heartache or mental block keeping them from achieving their full potential. He would respect them but they would change their attitude towards him which became a problem.
He was a good friend to his peeps but once they got a partner or in trouble they'd vent he would listen eventually this loop would continue to be reocourring cycle. He would be the scapegoat goat and kept out. He understood people found love and would start relationships he got the vibe they were with the wrong person but that made them happy who was he to come between the happiness that's what their heart wanted.
They would no longer be friends grow apart sometimes unite but other times just lose contact.

He stared at his turtle tank and they did nothing exciting. The sound of water because of their filter. It was a soothing sound that made it easy for him to sleep. He got his pets as a gift from his uncle. He did Appreciate his hand me down pets that brought him joy. His new friends since he didn't have many friends he could trust or rely on. He did admire them and they did eat his food when he feels them. The heat light that lit up the room and their UV light that kept his room lit like a night light. Made it easy for him to sleep and rest.

Feeling drained
Heart pains
Just want to be done with today
Even though it's barely getting start
I'd rather write than argue and fight
Makes it easier for me to sleep at night
More on my mind closure is hard to find
Obsession drives me crazy feels like I'm going blind
Spoke the truth but seen as ruthless
On my own path viewed as a lost cause
Not a follower born to lead
Doing what I love not about money or greed
Had my ups but they come down
Had my towns they won't let me up
Sometimes things level out come out even is the gain

Don't know how much more I can go
In pain from the inside it bleeds out
Been going strong feels like everything around goes wrong
Staying calm while everyone gets worked up
Mind my mouth while many are just talk
Sick but keep working like it don't bug me
You cheated now you make me out to be the shady one
Talk bad about everything turns out you are worse off
Not waiting around because you are a no show
Or wasting my time because you are a lost cause
Told myself be great all you do is hate
Blame everyone since you can't own up
I may not be the one but I at least showed up
Talk like you're grown up but not doing it
Listen to your own advice instead of trying to control others
Talk big but once someone tells you you get **** hurt

The heavy rain soaked his clothes he entered the coffee shop and ordered a hot chocolate. He sat admired the decor and art on the walls. It was not far from the college. The town filled with college students. The world was in it's own bubble with minds learning for a better future. Once inside and left that world. He loved the environment but would soon return home to reality.

They always ask me why are you single? Because I'm not good at relationships. Maybe I love the wrong people because they love someone else with no regards for me or my feelings. Maybe I'm not ready since the wrong people are attached to rather than accept me they try to change me or make me out to be someone I'm not. I'm not quick to give my heart to anyone especially after being hurt and broken many times. When I'm committed they run away when I'm not interested they are quick to force their way. I prefer natural and for it to feel right; I do not like forced or rushed because it fails over that outcome.

He asked for their opinion and all they did was knock him. They showed no interest in his passion. It angered him took it like they did not believe in him. He was always respectful and supportive of others. He know listening and holding back would get him no where so he focused on what he loves and continued to prove them wrong. He had taken way more risks than most.
He didn't get mad but got better. He did the work while they criticised him. He didn't let them bother him he used the negative to write get out this burden they casted upon him.
He always turned a negative into a positive. He would not let their bad attitudes infect his day.

Investing in my cousin, he's a fighter. I'm helping sponsor him for his next fight tournament. Being that person I needed growing up. I remember asking for people to help me. It hurt like hell because I took it as they didn't believe in me. I see myself in this kid, he's determined to learn and grow. I would hold thai pads for him now he's coaching and teaching me things.
I loved the sport but wasn't a gym favorite. I don't care for gym politics. I believe in hard work. you get what you put into it. Always going hard, giving your all. I learned to apply the fundamentals.

Down time is weird he felt like he needed to be doing something getting things done. Use to a routine when all he wanted was to be free feeling lost and isolated from things.
His sleep patterns were jacked up over the changes. He didn't like being responsible for others but it all fell on his lap.
All the anger and frustration took its toll on his confidence. He wanted to be there to help they left him hanging. Now that he made other arrangements they decided to need him ruining his plans

Not going back out grew it
They told you NO made it else where
Made it happen without approval
Its your dream don't let them take it
Accepted in one place working hard
Rejected in another for speaking up
Giving your all isn't enough
Taken off treated like an outcast
Sold your soul to evil taking the job
Knew what would happened
Tired of doing everyone's work
Feeling the void trying to help out
Kindness taken for granted
Full of regret now doubting efforts
Once confident now seen as worthless

Someday are harder than others; I'm glad I made it through today
People will criticize but not look at themselves first
Trying to understand other mindsets is hard when you cannot make sense of the logic
In a new place mentally out of my comfort zone
Learning to communicate with people
who are set in their ways
I don't expect them to change
They do expect so much from me not always able to please everyone
but they do not accept everything about me feels like I'm being set up to fail

He was a big dreamer he knew he can be and do much more. He was tired of taking a back seat to people. He was good and confident too many knocked him. Made his confidence out to be cocky. He told the truth and for years doing what he loved. He felt like coming out of his shell that he loved hiding in but he didn't want to be there anymore. He had put his life on hold waiting for that moment but that's not how it works. He knew he would have to go out take risks make that moment happen. It circled and bounced around in the back of his mind. He read books from inspiration, he stepped up failed but he always told himself be the best even if he came up short. For years he did what he loved despite set back. He loved jujitsu nurturing and injury fear of getting hurt. He worked at his job at the bottom of the pole but he had experience no one seen or cared for because no one liked change stayed the same.
He loved to perform stand up but he didn't have an audience that understood him. He feared change as well always asking "what if" when he thought it "should be" he loved to write it gave him a vocie gave him say he felt in control he always went along but before he was a rebel someone who took risks and felt he had nothing to lose and everything to gain. He got older others told him never settle or get comfortable. It never made sense to him but took those words to thought. He wanted to break the cycle get out of the same routine. He was broke before and never wanted to be that way again. He didn't care for his job but did like the pay. He was thankful to be working always compromised things are never in his favor. He did so much on the down low because it was his way of preparing and prepping himself. He's been working on it for years even though he's not doing anything with it. He had supporters and doubters that made him want it more tired of everyone's way he just wanted to do things his way for once.

He had a test that would dictate his future. He didn't want to fail struggling to get the next level. Moving forward with his life not going back bouncing back all the road blocks and detours. He didn't like to fight he would put his head down and plow through.
He didn't like to let others down it got to him surprised he had a support group. All his hard work and efforts not expecting anything but trying to get a full time job going. He was open to change but the transition got complicated in the process.
He started to share his plan with his mini circle of friends.

He grew up with tough love and knew things didn't always have a happy end. Things went well then all of a sudden his world was turned upside down. Things didn't turn out in his favor so close too bad everything came up short. He wouldn't let detours or setback hold him back. Everyday a new plan, so he could move forward with his life. He'd count his wins but they were short lived, he learned more through the struggle with many life lessons filled with experience.

Why do you work so hard? Before my grabdpa died an older man working harder than the youngsters. Grandpa always said take take care.
Not afraid to get in there do the get it started and finish things. Months on the sidelines recovering made me want it more. Being kept out of the loop on the outside looking in. Sick or not fighting to be normal seen as an equal.
Being told your nothing but proving them wrong. Seen as special but in denial because no one steps it up came down a level which is numbing. Over the same bs different levels.

Feel free dk what to do with myself let go of the anger and hatred that kept me down. It made me sad when close friends distant themselves from close friends to complete stranger. Sometimes you need to let people go because they project stuff you don't believe or think you are like them. No one represents me but myself. I get people got through tough times but I will not take your blame or allow you to make me out to be the bad guy while you are doing worse stuff. I took friendships to the hair because we had memories and grew up together but when you made a mistake I forgave and kept you going. If I made a mistake it would become backlash by a so called friend. I've let go of the negative and toxic people I respect your way while you belittle and knock mine.
I worried what people thought about not strangers but people I trusted and got close to had opinions and they did not think highly of me. I had stay away. I quit drinking that's my way of an apology but it was denied now I do it for me. I reached out kept contact no response. I'm waiting around but now it's time I moved on. I'm not one who goes back but forward.
I guess we hurt each other so we can't hang anymore. I respect you have a family and kids, while some cheat and try to look down on me for not wanting the same. I've always been focused on my goals and dreams lots of failure and detail but willing to learn, grow, encounter new experiences.
The day you dropped me because I wasn't a priority was an eye opener because years of trying to figure out what went wrong couldn't figure it out there was no point because you are gone moved on. Now I need to do this not for you but for me.
No more denying myself to be liked or accepted most of the time I'm denied and disrespected over being neglected. Been doing what I love for years no I'm not lost but opened my eyes over seeing the darkness of others but ready to stand in the light of what I know what is right.
I don't like to argue or fight no need to make a scene, your false act to be more when you're less can't talk it out so you insult my integrity. Just because you talk loud doesn't make you right.
Remember the good times but the memories fade. Can't live in the past but focused on living in the moment doing what makes me better and helps me grow become the person I'm destine to be.
All the bad thought turn positive good vibes and feeling. The negative people can't stay they need to go. Smile more because you gave your all give yourself credit because one day you'll do it all instead of coming up short. Work hard eventually that failure and delay will amount to much more. Appreciate the world admire what's around you take it all in instead blocking it out to get it done but enjoy what you are doing as well.

He was far from perfect but he did feel better when he read his bible. He made many mistakes but learned from them, never letting history repeat itself. He had lost his job and prayed for a new one. He became humble after being beaten up. He had hurt people and been hurt on both sides of the burden. Lots of overthinking trying to make sense of things put it all into perspective; make sense of all these confusing emotions and thoughts. Asking questions hoping to find answers or find a solution to the problem. Many questions unanswered but gave into his faith and beliefs.  Years of being silent to prevent drama. Lost in books and writing still felt incomplete. He wanted to get lost in life be able to share his side tell his stories. A friend told him why are you holding back? You are honest most should value your opinion. Turns out the friend was wrong. He wanted to do all the things he set out to do. He felt life was in hold but he wanted to live and feel again. Instead of closed off and shut out not a way to live.

Can't sleep not doing anything feels like I should be doing something. Thoughts are there so who to tell will anyone care. Looked at different treated unfair don't care to fit in anymore. They dk me anymore or what I've done so far to be happy with the person I've become. Days are brighter being alone no one to judge or accepting negative people down talk.

As he aged the crowd no longer had an influence. He was born to lead not follow. He knew who he was but too many made him out to be something he didn't have a clue or understand. Willing to help others but made the mistake of seeing his kindness as weakness. He would question all these made up rules others tried to apply. He followed the rules of he broke them the backlash would take its toll others would judge slander his character. He was patient and worked hard his time would come. He did work hard had the skills but didn't like the pressure a natural leader. He focused on the job did not care to get personal but talked about the job how he could improve do things differently make it better for everyone. He was a team player someone who was willing to keep the machine going pick up the slack willing to learn and enjoyed his work. He would get noticed after years of being ignored and denied by his coworkers over the false promises but this new job he wouldn't go unnoticed worked hard and refuse to let up and give up.

He kept digging deep gave his all till he had no more to offer when he thought it would get worse things got better. He was burnt out and felt like he was losing it. Things would get better and he didn't let the bar moment or anger consume him. The frustration that are away at his self confidence. The build up in his head he could let dissolve clear his mind focus on the good things will get better he told himself. He was down but not out he would continue to strive forward not settle or be comfy keep moving forward