Went for a long drive with a close friend we talked I expressed my anger and frustration. We talked religion movies and music was the topic of discussion. My faith is with god and I feel only he could judge me. I don't preach but focus on doing right all the wrong doesn't bother me till it starts to pile and topple over in my direction.
I've become a movie guru since I quit drinking. I've become somewhat antisocial and do not care for drama or involved with ppl who do bad. I can't look the other way it's better if I never face that direction.
Music helps me write I enjoy the greats and soundtrack they help give me direction also setting a mood. I try to be happy but someone alway ****** me off

Smile and eyes make my day
Her insecurity ruins everything
Can't have friends because she jealous
Will hurt your feelings and controlling
She picks a fight when you avoid drama
You love her but makes it hard to live
Never happy with all you give
Belittles all the good you did
She is the ex hates seeing you happy with the next
You wish her the best say goodbye
There will never be a next time
She beauty external
The ugly internal

I get bored right away my mind needs to be stimulated creative thoughts or word play.
I've always tried to dhow ppl up but it feels like no one tries. It's give to who ever not to whos worthy of the position or best for it with matching qualities. I've seen many failed regina of terror. Not leading but doing enough to keep things their way instead of looking out for the interest of others.
I learn with my ears and eyes I don't like to be an example but learn from the mistakes others have made. I'm over learning the hard way failed time and time again focused on success and doing things right

It's not fair but that's how it goes
Rather than complain to me
Tell the person that upset you
How you feel and what you think
I'm usually neutral don't want to hear it
if nothing will get done or change
Idk why ppl hate instead of being happy for others
My blood boils I'm not the worse in the bunch
But I've been ridiculed for being different
Mocked about my dreams and goals
I drop weight too skinny chunk up too fat
I can't win or allowed to be happy
I'm working too much or never around
Trying to go all I set out to do
I've been called a loser
Called an *** for defending myself
The list goes on I'm not a follower
I lead my way on my path
Win or lose ill get there
Failure is normal but not permanent
Everyday is another struggle
Eventually everything works out

Good day today got this movie ive been wanting.
Got myself a Johnny cash book to enjoy
A new shirt if I decide to go out
The gym has been good to me
Hitting heavy weights getting my reps done
Cardio and reading a book that makes me laugh and smile.
Got home showered enjoying my favorite show
Ive been laughing and smiling making the of my goodtimes
Spoiling myself doing things right feel free for once its goid to be me

My 1st piercing was my ears
I pierced one brow but it fell out
Then I got my other brow pierced
I thought it would be cool
The cartilage on my ears
I holes in my face
The needles pierce my skin
Another added character to my ****** features
It's a rush it separated me from the bunch
Not trying to be normal
Dace so unique makes you think
Wonder who and what I'm about
I doubt you know
Only ppl I trust I show
Let the in my heart
Find out what I'm truly about

youve been there before but it didnt workout accordingly
step back and view the situation from a never angle
you keep coming back and will not be denied
you want to return to once was and when the world felt just right
pants were looser weight gained from all the stress
return to the social world with out feeling rejected
make your own path because the way things are dont work for you
find those true friends that you could depend on
not phonies who hang when having troubles with their partner
a true friend is your partner in crime
helping you up instead of kicking you down
you make your way isolated and along
but for once things feel right not worrying
or seeking approval but doing and feeling whats right

I feel like a freak by choice
But in a good way lead with no voice
I'm different from everyone
I'm the short friend with a massive heart
My piercings make me unique
I'm random but like to laugh and smile
I rock chucks attitude of punk
Wear glasses to read stimulate my mind
Not like the rest I take pride on myself
Being me is my greatest protest
Writing is my way of expression
Not into drinking intoxicated by my music
Fight to be me fight not to lose
In my own freak world
It's the place that makes me happy

I'm a normal person I love to drink
When I say I don't its not to be a buzzkill because I'm not drinking. I never said I was better you make out to be that way if that's what it takes you must not have much going on with you!
I see you do shady and stupid **** but I see it that's on you. Now when I make a mistake would you please **** and not put me on the spot.
How is it my fault your partner cheated maybe if you put out or not such a shallow person you have someone.
You may have same job but going anywhere and I'm the one who's a bad influence.
You want to give *** advice with your STD I think you need to ****

why do you cheat on the one you claim to love
you play the victim when you get cheated on
the courage to say i love you is the lie
say what you mean not what the person wants to her
you wake up alone false talk about being grown
she gave you her heart and you tore it apart
looked in to those loving eyes now they see hate
only if the love was true everything would be great
you claim this love but have another mate
one love is true while the other is a lust
with broken hearts how could anyone trust
cheat on the one you love cheat on the one you dont love
you think this way is okay in the end youll be exposed
wearing the label be forever know as a cheater
oncw you get cause you know its over
but keep tryin living forever more in your cheating ways

Thinking about the past
Had a blast
Times have changed
Goodtimes turn bad
Tried to date lots of hate
Single life still getting heat
Couples hate gave up on the single life
Do it along while those dysfunctional parts
Fall apart with time
Open relationships lead to someone closing down
Exclusive is just a title over time it's redefined
Seek love stop wasting time
With a face no real emotions
Looks fade with time dried up limes

when you drink its all fun and games
till that day when death stares you in the eyes
drinking changes you hurts those around you
the day you change put down the bottle
the world is clear but doesnt make sense
the friends are gone because you guilt them the choice sober living
you call to hang but drinking is all the know
soberiety and alcohol cross paths but have no relation
some cant speak with a drink in their hand
the drink for liquid courage thaey convince you to join the party
you cannot go back because you made a self respecting promise
you could never and wont ever go back
the idea to take a sip might make you life slip into darkness
the world you plan of never living again
chance of change change for the better other ways to enjoy the world
not in a bottle or risking life in one deadly drink

Mouth sealed dealing with rude
Then play the victim when I get an attitude
Ive been nothing but loyal and true
Why you keep treating me so cruel
You tell me your problems like I caused them
Keep holding on to the past
I saw you as my future
Everything we had is now history
Now its over if it worked out that's the mystery
On my way to better
You chose to settle for less
Focused on progress
I was good and we failed not going to obsessed

Pushed through the pain
Body not use to jogging
The fear of inurying a bad knee
Music at the right tempo
Deep breaths to give the muscles oxygen
Clearing the mind focused on the jog
Stopping is quitting
Slowing down is showing weakness
Push to get fit take back your endurance
Find discipline reshape your body
Get fit do it right make everything tight

My day off feeling goid relaxing listening to music
Doing what feels right and what makes me happy
Work always frustrates me trying to make money
Do my time hoping to move up instead staying stuck
Over feeling used and taken for granted
I say the cream rises to the top
I've always been honest and *** heat for it
I spoke the truth and got excluded forgotten
Its hard to forget now I'm on the level
Its not where I want to be
on a level of my own feels right
Where I belong it feels right
I don't care who you know
Or what your last name is
I told my coworker id be associate of the month
I see that for myself others bs and should take pride in themself

I think about my future at work
I wonder when Ill meet the right girl
Be able to love and find the love I seek
Anxious to heal tired of feeling broken
Over feeling empty I just want to be complete
Capture the success I seek
Be able to calm down be satisfied
Instead of stressing and worrying
Live my life with others trying to set me back
Take swings at my smile
Belittle my effort thinking they'll break my spirit
Over waiting I know it should be mine
I put in the effort and the time
Fix me in the mold I break out grow  old

Old and cold
Forced to grow up
Raise your sibling
Try to live young
Try to be wise
Truth is everybody lies
Old at heart
Young mind
Mid point hard to find

Hard to sleep write out the frustration
Things don't turn out according
Can't always get what one wants
The fear of starting over
Moving forward fear of missing
One wants to fix the mistake
Beyond ones control
Saw goods turns out to be no good
Unexpressed love hoping to find truth

The night is going well
She's a Beauty and special
Hair combed right
Things feel alright
Both looking head to toe
Her heels of glam
Rocking the chuck
Hopefully bring good
She wears a skirt not to short
She's classy don't rush to kiss
Just hold her hand and flirt
Colored eyes chance with the color clothes
Showing skin not too much exposed
She chose the fit so the eyes womt quit
Night of dinner romance her tonight
No need to rush build the trust
Night comes to an walk her to the door
Say good night say let's do this another night

The sand in your toes
The sea breeze inhaled through the nostrils
Sun burns your back
Ocean water splashing
Feel sticky want to take a bath
Stand by the tide
Stories from the beach
The coastal ride
Swim shorts bikini bottoms
Good times in the rays
Make it a great time have a beach day
Lay and tan get out run
The beach is fun any summer day

I've spent many years giving into demands
I do my best to not ask others for favors
That's because I can't rely on anyone
But when others need me I'm quick to be there and help and get things done
I'm one who puts forth effort once I realize you are a waste if time I'm done with you so I don't bother anymore.
One of my so called friends who I don't talk to anymore. Texted me we are cool the nerve of this guy. He went after this girl who like me that does bother me but the fact he slandered my name to impress a girl who doesn't like him.
Another reason I don't like this person he pretended to be a girl with a fake profile. You **** so bad you pretend to be someone your not. I'm usually forgiving but this guy is punk *** *****. He knows he can't fight challenging ppl. If he caught a best down this idiot would still run his mouth,

The stubble on my face
Says time to shave
The hair on my hair wild
Out of control overpowering gel
Unibrow needs to be tweezered
Mustache over laps the lip
Take the razor groom the safe
Line up the side burns
Hair comes off exposing the flesh
Nice trip to the barber
Trim the top
Shape the hair line along the neck
Groomed and clean till it all grows back

I like thick frame the trend was mine 1st
All my friends **** my style
I've alway worn chucks
Kept warm with my Dickie jacket
My glasses was one of my features
Natural to my face the biggest smile on my face
I've always made my mark
Things go well see the spark
Glasses hide my wild ****** expressions
Quick to react but not holding back
I've been seen as a geek and nerd
Doesn't what you've heard
Not a freak I know what I like and want

I tend to dwell I thought I did everything right turns out things are beyond my control. Im not into the party life or use ppl id rather be doing my own thing.
I dont need anyones approval im doing what makes me happy and matters most. Ive always been a nerd judged for being different. Ive come a long way from where I was.
I use to be alchy but now I wont touch it. Even though temptation is everywhere. I had so many drinking buddies I had to find a new crowd. Dating is fun but kind of would like to settle down.
Bouncing back from injuries my biggest problem is time since I dont make time for things. Im learning to balance everything out

Dreams of being able to say whatever
Chasing down fakes and phonies gets old
Don't have kids your and idiot unfit
He's cheating you allow it
Or she cheated blaming you
Your job will only take you far
Being a **** doesn't make you right
Take what you can get
But others chose to be the best
This job doesn't separate your cheap
Don't know a person but want a relationship
All these factors seen mean everything to someone but nothing is being done

You start a family leave me out
I respect it but have my doubt
You get a girl who's been around
Ditched a friend left in the background
I don't like you wife but it's your life
I respect you but dislike your partner
I stay away all I can do or say
I've been true and you live rotten blue
You put yourself there so blame yourself
Don't soil my good name
you do wrong or bad make me out to be the scapegoat
You cheat how's that my fault I wasn't there
When I'm there you fight with your partner
Nobody wants to here that or cares
Ruin my fun good time

Glad things have changed over coming the rage
Glad to let go turn the page drifting towards the future
Not always going to please everyone but I'll do what right
Earned a day off always working for change
Transition phase into my new position not setttling with a bad situation
Not stopping for haters or listening to their dictation
Seeking more not settling for less obsess others tell me no or its not my time
Burn those cuts like lime juice feel the sting I won't be denied mine
Trying to stay sane not lose my mind working to get what's mine
Pursing love over the lost past sometime it all happens so fast
Rebuild yourself change for the better not because your told to do so
I've given up on ppl but they gave up on thenselves
I don't expect much got use to neglect  to assume the worse is perverse
Jump into risk while others play it safe take the time to live

Writing is my passion it helps me communicate
It makes things alright and great
I've been able to create
Writing lyrics my life's a rock song ready to happen
Moments of my life put Into mini series
Characters and phases that come with age
Music is in my heart my grandpa was a bassist in a popular local band
I like to tell amusing stories life's more unique than boring
Free spirit lit with fire and free like a wild tiger
Grew up around ppl who stayed down
Escape this cage break all the norms achieve success with no bs

Like a time machine I go back into memory land present them in the future
What I felt and know has changed time after time
Over and over again find inner peace relive and find solutions to the problem
Connect reconnect don't ever want the same failed out come to occur
That moment things could've been changed turned out the way they did
I'm not going to pretend all the bad was good
But if I could relive all the good I would do so in a heart beat same every time
With the bad comes good  good can go bad
Doesn't matter make I through till the end

Hung with my uncle
on the road we talk moviesnecessitieslors enjoying the single life
Talk music that plays on the radio
Comparing and sharing our experiences
Buy our neccisties at the store
Stopping for a meal pick up
Then home till next time

I'm not a critic but I'm honest
My passion to write keeps me in the light
Mma keeps me strong
minds racing can't accept defeat
Drums beats in mind all about the tempo
My opinion doesn't always matter
When it does not sure what to say
Coaching my team to be the best
Want to be the best not settle for less
Leader of the pack comes natural
Ranks don't matter do your part
Know your role make it part of your soul
I'm anxious to grow and excel in what I do
Repetition and keep practicing
Never quit eventually you'll get it

Been in a great mood washed the car
Hung with my cousin and his girlfriend
Had the last to days off
Got my workout done
I like to read and do cardio
Taking care of myself I got my brows waxed
Now I dont look like oscar the grouch
Loud music blasting in my ears
Driving feels right the road is home
Not getting involved with others drama
Minding my business laughing and joking with my cousin who has the same sense of humor
Not dating anymore not seeking love or approval of others
Not writing dark or falling into bad habits

That moment you say
No way not today
You to be loved accepted
Tired of being disrespected rejected
I bit my lip can't take it anymore
You run away now face your fear
Now I'm talking can you hear
I'm not joking or playing your game
Tired of feeling embarrassed wit shame
Way want to talk never want to listen
I stay away you claim you miss me
All you do is diss me
You don't do me favor
But I save you when your blue
Same old **** I'd wish youd shut it
Piece of my mind
Strike a nerve strike back

My family makes me feel like an orphan
The oldest treated like I don't belong
I'm the bad influence when I experience life
Talked about and left out
Told I can't but prove them wrong
Treated like I can't do anythig right
Keep trying not going to lose the fight
Excluded for years I find my own
Judged for being different while everyone the same
I got most of the blame for your actions
Family don't treat good and that's not right
Going away no one cares if I stay
I helped day by day they won't have me anyway

If I have nothing to say
Doesn't mean I'm sad
My eyes might tell stories
I'm happy keeping to myself
Minding my own not trying to hurt anyone
Or get hurt focused on what I love
The gym I push myself beyond the limits
Reading a fun book so I can laugh and smile
Writing to escape be free
no longer empowering negative ppl and those who hurt me
I don't think about them they aren't worth tears or bring treasured in my heart
My mind and heart mean well ready for more over settling for less

Family hate that's just great
Aunt cusses out a persons morals
Not believing but full of it
Questioned actions because of th wrong
Turned into a feud like this battle meant to happen
Bros fighting not talking
Got physical before the wall of silence got built
Mother who instigates hates on others happiness
All perfection ruined by one pointed flaw
Sister talks big but cries her way out of trouble
Grandmothe verbal abuse generation to generation and the next cycle of crazy
Alcohol empowers the weak
Drugs to stimulate fake emotions
Sobriety stuck in the war doing good judge like evil coil do no wrong

No one said it was easy
Being able to balance life
Pursue a career
Make time for the gym
Write to balance mental health
Being able to feel included
Instead of distant and not welcome
They know your working towards goals set
But chose to be mad an complicate things
So much to learn and know master the craft
Mentor others that need help and ask
Change always is hard but able to adapt
Relationships need balance make time for all

My aunt gave me crap about forgiveness but she could only speak up drunk get out of here your wasting my time. My other aunt is a health freak years to late after her husband just because he's dead you don't have to go out of your way to our live him.
My aunt I'd divorced with a bf but she her ex husband around she is everything she said she wouldn't be. I don't have close uncles they bail or divorce my aunts but I don't blame them got leaving. Just because you talk loud doesn't mean your right.
I have a ******* up family on both sides of my decomposing family tree even though I see most of the jerks like weeds bothering the garden ruining the beauty

My jobs not great but its money
I don't need a girl but wish someone would love me
Tough love hard thoughts to cope with
Bad choice tough decisions
Part of taking control had enough
The rain is my weather makes things better
Thankful and overall growing  up
Even if life is more than showing up
Not caring staring off in the distant
Feeling numb being resistant
Consumed by anxiety hard to breathe
I know dreams shared them
Even if no one cared for them
Life lesson learned time already served
You chose less that's what you deserve

Nothing mysterious about the darkside
Lead by example became a living example
Heart and soul put in a cage
Like a bird going to fly away
One the door is opened
Like a mouth anxious to speak
Thought out plan failed ideas
More on the mind drawing a blank
Words are written emotion to the writer
The read sees words nothing more
Unless they could relate don't lose fate
Feelings of truth mistaken as hate
Meant to be great use to the haters
Don't success in the hands of the debaters

I've been good and working hard
Doing my best to get noticed for the right reasons
There's a ******* my mind
We are both goal oriented
I've been focused and ambitious
Id like to do more for myself and other benefit
Lots of of ideas bouncing around
Id like to make them a reality
Instead of asking what if
As of late I've been asking how
Id like everyone to be happy but that's on them
In over lowering myself to be accepted
Majority of the time I'm rejected
Being sober and straight edge
I like to read use my mind not let tv influence my reality
Writing is my expression so I could be heard and understood
I'm hooked on good vibes not fueled by negativity
Avoiding ppl who don't understand
Praying to be understood

I've done lots of damage being sober is me resting my ego
I do get the courage urge to drink but I'm stronger than this addiction
It's for the weak so I don't want to be submissive
I can't and won't go back dealing with anger and frustration is hard but able to cope with makes life easy
I get the urge to fight but in the spirit of competition I want to get better and be better at the sport. I do the conditioning and training I want to be a ranked contender. I hate training for no reason to me there's a reason for everything.

Thankful for my personal growth
Focused on my routine
Not dating anymore
so money and dont even know it
Not looking for it but doing what I love
Loud music at the gym
Reading while doing my cardio
Taking care of myself
Not being to hard but on the right path
Im writing to stay sharp and focused
The new me is meant to be

My body say yes my mind says no
The morning jog I've give lots of thought towards
I've been thinking about doubling up on my cardio
In my late twenties more changes going on than on puberty
Getting means more maintenance and taking care of yourself
Before I could jump into things now I have to stretch and take the proper precautions
As time passes my body aches it doesn't heal like the same
Shave once a week now I shave every other day
If I remember to do so
I remember before I could go on no sleep
Now all I want to do is sleep
I could drink and wake up no hang over
I don't drink but I sense no tolerance
I could eat everything now my stomachs is sensitive so I have to watch what I eat

Finally made it to where I want to be but now I need to change my goal
Build up on what I've started make the quest more challenging
I get bored and need more inspiration to be more I don't settle
I don't friend anyone unless they are resourceful
I need to grow develop into the person I'm meant to be
Hard work pays off so don't give up things have shifted in my direction
All I ever needed was a fighting chance to become who I see myself being
Focused on what matters my health
Achieving goals not settling proving them wrong
Bettering my image moving up at work

Feelings of being ******* over
Thoughts of betrayal can't get over
Abandonment feels like punishment
Unworthy of these righteous emotions
Hard to get through
keep the lies from coming true
Stand up to the opposers who turned their back
Taken lightly over skills
Underrated for pursing a career
Overlooked success by underachiever
Slipped over for the next never given a chance
Promised but not given proper treatment
Lies and delays shutdown interest
Cold and dark till it's over
Not sure what to say the day is ruined
Can't compromise neglect
Dishonest words get no respect
But see as a waste of time
Never cross paths in the future

Lifting weights leaves wear and tear on the body
Running beats up the ankles and knees
Injuries occur in most activities
Yoga is stretching with mild pressure
Stretch it out release
Take deep breaths
Try to relax test flexibility
Helps a back that scream with pain
Focus on the tension to release and ease the pain
Spirit mind body soul unites as one
Soothing to healing music
Relax on th yoga mat

Home on a Friday night reading a book
Ideas to write add light to my night
Being straight edge no crowd to call my own
Im not into drinking or smoking trying to better myself always
Id rather be constructive instead of self destructive
Bust my *** for **** pay hoping to move up at work
I'll never kiss *** but hope my efforts never go unnoticed
The changes I've made are for the better can't stay down forever
Doesn't happen right away working hard for that day to come

Inner peace within overcoming many obstacles
Happy able to laugh and smile
Live life guilt free best way to be
Noticed by the world that kept you out
Comeback stronger better
Never quit live be legit
No more giving into guilt trips
Mind your mouth ignore flapping lips
Listen to your heart do what right
Sleep well peace within
Happiness grows and starts to show