Working harder than most
Never scared not backing down
DIY finding a way to get it out
Rise to the next level trail blazing
Pursue a dream everything mentally
Drained physically fighting to give it life
Others point out the wrong tear it down
Than give credit for doing right
Focused on mistakes drawing blood
Instead of blessing the effort
All the hard work mininalised
Standing tall alone hoping to unit
Trying to bring others together
While the division grows over time
Keeping everyone apart no love

Use to be scared not afraid anymore
Valued your negative opinion
Tried to put me in my place
Than allow me to grow
Questioned you intentions now your mad
Years of criticism being knocked down
Crazy enough to get back up for more
Staying away gave this mind peace
The mental struggle became a strength
Toxic voices have gone mute
Faded away in the spacey distance
Taking in the silence feeling calm collected
Never understood the logic in this beef
A once sided argument wasting time
Feeling disrespected devalued by an elder
What happened to being an example
A role model for those trying to make it
Move up in the world not knock'em down
Times are different changed over the years
Once came to you for advice
An opinion isn't always needed
Sometimes an ear helps you figure it out
The thought process might click
Make sense to the person opening up
Don't tell others how to live their life
Who to be let them be cozy in their skin

The love for family is strong
It's more than a pretty picture
You need to put forth effort
Don't complain or get jealous
When you get asked
But refuse to participate
It could be fun give it a chance
Don't let your bad attitude
Ruin a fun moment for others
How do you expect others to know you
When you close them out give the 3rd degree
Take interest in others
Don't be about yourself
Sometimes the road is lonely
The journey has people
Who love and care for you
You need to meet them half way
Let people be themselves open up
Don't try to force control the moment
Thankful for the new memories
Closer to cousins and new friends
Can't wait around need to live
Especially on borrowed time
Health is not great but still able
Thankful for the help pushing through
Love the team don't want to fail
Trying to do my own thing not lead

Always talking about growth and change
Sometimes the change doesn't happen right away
Working hard behind the scenes
Preparing towards the goals achieving success
It's about balance and maintaining success
What makes sense to you others find crazy
Results produced towards the outcome
Easy to see the ending do the work
That's between leading towards the dream
Take the steps to make moves to be happy
Even if you're alone stay sane deflect pain

Denied the right not going to argue or fight
Walking away it's going to be a war
Say something that might lead to regret
Miscommunication to be right instead of a solution
Insults making things personal
Invalid argument no results just personal attacks
Clearly wrong trying to justify things
Sad family is divided no one talks
Assumptions growing in the mind
No one is talking about you get over yourself
Making others take your side doesn't make you right.
It fuels a bad person to destroy others who have views and opinions

Writing from the heart allows you to feel
Thinking to much blocks  out emotions
Trying to do what's right be the best
Made mistakes learned for them to grow
Improving yourself over the years
Missing old friends the cord was cut
Meeting the right people on the journey
Thankful for deep conversations
Being told the truth not what needs to be heard
In a crowded room learning from others
Some add perspectives others self indulgent
People care a smile shows they care
The tough love is obstacles failure to get noticed
Take a breath blow out the bad take in the good
Not that person anymore or in that place anymore
Look up be proud and happy for the blessings
Sometimes head down ******* up ego can be a downer
Remember for doing right
Over being reminded the for wrong done

His love for her was strong but he had his doubts. Usually Minding his mouth because she was sensitive. She would pick fights and argue, he was alert since he didn't say or do much. She'd accuse him of cheating but he was always around.
When he went out it was rare; she would blow up his phone. Assuming the worse, shes the one, who made up all these rules that didn't apply to her. He trusted her and when she went out she would blow up his phone.
Asking why he didn't call her. He told her you wanted to go out have fun while he composed himself.
The relationship was difficult feeling like he couldn't do anything right. Time away was appreciated even though he had no clue, how to fix this failing relationship.
Struggling being told "I love you" after being emasculated and felt like his feelings didn't matter.
He knew it was time for a change. It was a power struggle to end things she wouldn't let it be over.
Eventually he'd shut down and she had to be the one to end it to feel superior. Being set free not sure who he was and what he wanted after being in a toxic relationship he had to reinvent himself.
Staying sober getting himself and his crap together because his friends bailed on him since it was hard to balance friendships and a relationship. Put in the middle of an awkward situation. Wishing everyone could get along and coexist with out being forced to choose a side.

When you change your diet it's rewarding
Going back to bad habits is self hatred and torture
You've grown and moved on self improvement
Saying good bye gets easier when you choose peace
Slowing down so much on the mind
It's all hype it breaks down once analyzed
Can't go back to back bad habits
Keep up the progress no longer toxic
They made up their mind so don't bother
You write your story control your narrative
Eventually things work out get better
Put your trust in God do not losing faith

He was down for his working to survive
Back up his crew when needed
Friends come and go like the seasons
No longer attached. Just let go of the past
Use to be a shoulder to crying on
Fighting for the weak, spoke for the voiceless
The weak got strong and turned their back
Called them a friend, and now they are a foe
Acting like they dk you hate you over a girl
Faded out, wasn't myself anymore
Went home, hoping to find peace
Lost direction, filled with regret left with doubt
No longer happy with the situation
Unable to move focused on distractions Needed closure more questions than answers
You want to know "why"  there's no reason
Trying to make sense of puzzle pieces
That won't link all these clues still not resolved

asked why you don't talk to so and so
I refuse to lower myself to be accepted
Never deny myself to be liked by others
Apologized and still treated different excluded
Not always forgiven, forgave, and moved on
Missed the good times living in the moment
Left with bad memories working hard to rise
Someone is always mad and won't forgive
Holding a grudge stuck in the past hating
Bad mouthing your name to appear better
Because they have no say or control over you
It bugs you've moved on trying to be better
Why can't they do the same, stuck in a loop
Family criticizes one anothers differences
Never correcting themselves first
Lots of talk, judgment, different lifestyles
No effort made echoing complaints
Fix yourself do the work earn a living
Before knocking on others, invest in yourself

Trying to do right be better
Going against the wrong
Taking on crazy being slandered
Not letting it phase this heart
Wanting to be normal
Always looked at treated differently

Working for your dream obsessively
Others piggy backing toxic behaviors
Making it seem like they are the mastermind
Taking the credit, she hasn't done the work
Always beefing with someone's ego
Foolish pride won't get a rise out of me
never been materialistic, no one own respect
Every day, paying dues putting in the time
One to appreciate people over possessions
Filling your mind with knowledge
Processing feelings on the page
Deep emotions trying to understand
Not chasing wealth focused on health
A new liver waiting on one
hopefully, a normal life
Time away from home missing corona
Missing grandma, the rock of the family
work piling up, ready to hold pads
Ready to get back on track
keeping up is about maintaining
Gave it to God, can't do this alone
mind worried about losing your spot
worked too **** hard to give it up

it's okay to get away easier to be alone
you don't think or feel like others
you have your own ideas and thoughts
not one to use or go through others
breaking away from toxic people
be the solution, not the problem

talk about what you did, dont blame them. I don't want to be responsible for others. I don't expect much from others they expect everything of me. I'm not sure what to do with Bartab. I'm not that person anymore, I'm trying to get back in that mindset again. it's hard when you're not in that place anymore.
scared to get fat watching what I eat

People made up their minds
No need to prover yourself
Over these made-up standards
These false ideals that are pointless
Gave my life to God following his rules
fueled by faith, no time for hate
stopped worrying about what was
Focused on what could be
working for opportunity taking risks
Love over lust survived broken trust

Over thinking mind can't rest
Wide awake should be sleeping
Watched movies to pass time
Writing scripts one scene at a time
Inspired by creativity story telling
Give others hope during the struggle
Surviving on all levels rising up
The underdog fighting to make it
Escape poverty for a better life
Dealing with new emotional inventory
Feelings from the past clashing with new
Mind open to change with a numb heart
Sacrifice gone wrong emotionally burned

Being able to talk about it
Pressure of your chest
Others understand for once
Able to relate not the exception
Everyone struggles mentally
Physically exhausted pushing through
Going through something
Staying sober dealing with feelings
Before taking a drink an overreaction
Writing to cope instead of being dramatic
Being able to express without criticism
One's self in a healthy manner
Have a heart without being called soft
Show feelings not be seen as sensitive
Be emotional without being called emo
Shedding tears while hurt be hard
Told to be hard show no emotions
Be down for yours never back down
No one cares not materialistic
Produce results final outcome

Not into parties love the family
Never going to live up to standards
An outcast looking in wanting to fit in
Some one is always mad holding a grudge
Talks down on you once a stand is taken
Others offended when questioned
Always the bad guy just trying to be
Gained thick skin desensitized emotionally
Feelings go deep dark overwhelming
Backed into a corner heart racing
Mind grasping to logic and reason
Being in an uncomfortable situation
Why is the guilt spiraling out of control
Never understood all the hype
One minute your loved scared to mess up
Next you are forgotten no one bothers

Always down other back out
They'll let you take the heat
Forget you when your into deep
Faded away from the crew
Now they act like they dk you
Making your own way
Not going against them
Don't need their approval
Felt disowned deserve better
Pushed out for speaking up
From friends now the enemy
Forgave them stayed away
Not wasting time going back

Let go of it all let the words flow
Free from bottled emotions
Looping emotions such a downer
Collecting trauma from the past
Happiness starting to show
Filling that empty seat give it life
Tell your story to inspire others
Tired of being silence holding hack
Did more than most came up short
Set up to fail in the light wanted it
Not ready so much to learn
Working twice as hard ready to shine
Behind the scenes to prepare
Find confidence ask many questions

In a room with others learning love
Finding peace against alcohol
Common goals to become normal
Whatever the hell that means
Angry not able to cope with emotions
Overwhelmed by feelings confused
Trying to find inner peace keep sobriety
Not take a drink it will make things worse
Under the influence ruins it everything
A curse to self destruction kamikaze
Trying to do right not fall into wrong
A trap everyone suffers a long process
The pain use to be please not it's torture
A new look on life learning from others
Many problems and mistakes cause growth

Use to be angry over betrayal
Learned to forgive and forget
Momma once said get over it
Treat people right earn respect
So many are petty over BS
Made a promise to not be like that
Do what you know and love
Feeling complete with a humble life
Not take things personal walk away
They don't know you only assumptions
Staying sober not going to relapse
Walk with faith no time for hate
Forgiving for inner peace
No time for an internal grudge within
Stop being jealous mad over the past
Trying to be around show love
Making it easier to walk away

Telling the truth gets you hated
So many try to cancel you out
Twist your words with lies
**** you off for having an opinion
Stand your ground for your beliefs
Standing solo a friend becomes a rival
Blood unites a family divided by anger
Still disconnected full of pride
wicked hidden agendas appear
Holding a grudge is the wedge
Love over material possessions
Divided by perspective, no fear of consequence
Grew up together now, complete strangers

The internet is a place where people go to complain or criticize things
Prejudge everything or anti supporters
They'll go pay for a movie to review it
Hoping their opinion matters, usually its clickbait
If an old movie of a cartoon live action, everyone gets mad no one is erasing the original
The studio will try to milk the franchise for the next generation.
Reboots are sometimes good. Other times, it doesn't work out accordingly.
People try to cancel something or influence a crowd to hate. It's easier to do than show appreciation for things.

Emotionally bankrupt for years of risks
Feelings burglarized by the people
Used by bandits for their own gain
Found love with a new crowd
Years of blaming deep within
silent scorn, they are dead to the heart
You'd rather wipe them away in your mind
Then, tolerate the bad behavior
criticism from the disrespectful masses
Living with pride can be lonely

Love yourself be kind to others
That's what make you unique
Who cares what others think
Too many people will tell you
Who they think you are
Facing egos that oppose you
Taking on assuming mouths
Ignoring bad attitudes for positive vibes
Avoiding scandalous behavior
Do good deeds help other
Treat people right with respect
Remain loyal it's a lost tradition
Be true in a world full of lies
Be selfless instead of selfish
Love with a broken heart

That safe space was the great escape
Hated being home too much hurt
The track focused on health
Away from it all love family
Tired of the arguing profanity
Felt unworthy doing so much
An older brother not a parent
Siblings full of hostility
Parents refusing to grow up
Couldn't stay down or live this way
Meant for more stuck settling for less
Pursued more came up short
With a new world comes a new mindset
Old ways of life clashing with the new
Trying new things forgetting the old

It ***** we don't talk anymore
We use to be close really good friend
Holding a grudge divided us
Things were said misunderstood
An apology not accepted
Forgiveness is wanted but not given
Friendships ends over ego and pride
Relationships destroyed in a power struggle
One lives a lie while being angered by the truth

Closer to the transplant
Did all the test for California
Now going to take more exams in Arizona
Waiting for a liver could take weeks possibly months
Almost a year ago it started
A doctor appointment for a check up
Finding out with high enzyme levels
Being diagnosed with cirrhosis
A phone call from a doctor with no bed side manners
You're sick we need to figure out
What wrong with you
You have cirrhosis or cancer
Thankful it was cirrhosis over cancer
The less of two evils trying to get healthy

Life is a blessing with growth
Change your mindset new perspective
Leave old ideas behind open to new
Emotional bankrupt bad investments
Feelings burglarized by imposters
True colors shined through
Causing friendships to fade away
Failed relationship to shattered dreams
Hit rock bottom a steady foundation
Buried by family slanderous talk
Hurts the most still love them
Still living life to the fullest
Made up rules in their favor
Once you spoke up or disagreed
They tried to make others hate you
Trying excommunicate your existence

Against the world keep your head up
Not always like or a favorite
Taking on the world it's not worth it
Easier to walk away from the chaos
Than being part of the insanity caused
Some like to argue don't say anything
Talk about you for being different
No one is talking about them
Be the one talked about not talking
A good head on your shoulders
A heart fuelled by hope and grace
Be useful instead of useless
Spiritual growth with positive energy

Protect your family at means
Neglecting your own needs
Doing it for them working harder
Staying strong with support
Being positive through though times
At work hustling to provide
Be someone do good treat others right
Be better help others do good deeds
Staying sober is an apology a new life
Drinking never forgiven old ideas
An old life in the past let it be forgotten
A new life in the present new memories

You create a new way of doing things
It clashes with the old way of life
Far from the past, but it's well known
Scared of the future unknown territory
Not knowing what's next, a clear mind
Afraid to fail one-shot opportunity
Holding onto what's left is a fight
Lost so much overtime, never again
Old friends fade away, memories
Scared to start over somewhere new
Not sure where to start anymore
Bounced back many times before
Faced those fears inflated with hype
Taking on maniputive egos
Toxic mouths continue to run
Eventually, signing a death wish

Trying to live life to the fullest
Rise above health issues
Work with what's given
Make the most of things
Years of flirting with death
Staying alive gave it to God
Facing fears by writing it down
Might look quiet thoughts processing
This mind is loud asking why
Questioning overanalyzing every moment
Observing actions over words
If one thing could fix everything
Called delusional for having an opinion
Being myself without compromise called a narcissist
Told the truth relieving the most hate
Telling stories trying to connect
Confessions not always forgiven

Somedays you win
Take a beating, love to fight
The victory short-lived
Asking what's next mental stimulation
Looking for a challenge
Never accept defeat out
Sometimes, you lose focus
Gain experience open to learn
Life has plenty of lessons
Focused on the blessings
Live in the moment be present
Don't be consumed by the past

Be determined against the odds
Believe in yourself when no one does
Keep growing and gain experience
Got health issues, not *******
Plowing through finish strong
While being discriminated against
Minding this mouth loud thoughts
Keeping the peace being singled out
No longer involved fading away
Speaking causes trouble
Minding my business

Taking risks and lost it all
Still crazy enough to come back
Can't get enough wanting more
Haters don't try and hate on you
Doing nothing expecting something
Put in the time to earn your place
Another mad face in the way
No time for drama it's pay day
Worked for mine earned every cent
Taking credit for work not done
makes no sense always on offense
Liars defensive scam and planning
Working to win focused on greatness
Tired of all cheaters piggybacking
Never accepted by family standards
Only rejected by made-up rules
Being myself not what someone said
Winning even when narrative is false
Twisted words fueled by manipulation
Trying to infect others' perspectives
Traditions not in your best interest
Pushing limits rising up a level
Being restricted feeling stuck
It's hard to move, not able to breathe

Not always the good guy
Only one side of the story is being told
Never said anything bad
While others project false beliefs
Spoke up against imposed ideals
Excluded for having an opinion
Allowed to disagree have differences
Not a yes man speaking on one's self
Friends fade grow a part over time
Due to conflict of interest
Family should love you more
Since  they can't compromise
Trying to slander your name
Make relatives think less of you
One voice means nothing alone
Use the masses to gain power
The power trip causes the downfall
Comfortable being disrespectful
Eventually, toxic takes down the mass
The truth remains overpowering lies
While the manipulator is exposed

Fighting till the end
Taking on everything
Not backing down from anyone
What goes around comes around
Stayed quiet, arguing with myself
If I said you'd make it personal
Trying to destroy for having an opinion
Erase me for everything
Use to being ignored by family
AA really messes with my mental health
They want you to explain and then use it against you
I'm over counseling. I'm trying to help myself
You want to be safe, but being vulnerable

Some days are easy working for it
While others are hard barely getting by
Trying to be strong for family
Keep trucking for peers a team player
Giving your everything possible
Feels like it's not enough exhausted
Eating right, struggling with energy
Feeling more energized taking risks
From one of the guys doing your part
Doing what needs to be done
Working hard to become the guy
Want to be able to be normal
This health condition is not an excuse
Over doctors' appointments never ending
Giving blood scans and tests
Mental health draining talking about it
Feeling restless pulled in many directions

Not always the good guy
Only one side of the story is being told
Never said anything bad
While others project false beliefs
Spoke up against imposed ideals
Excluded for having an opinion
Allowed to disagree have differences
Not a yes man speaking on one's self
Friends fade grow a part over time
Due to conflict of interest
Family should love you more
Since  they can't compromise
Trying to slander your name
Make relatives think less of you
One voice means nothing alone
Use the masses to gain power
The power trip causes the downfall
Comfortable being disrespectful
Eventually, toxic takes down the mass
The truth remains overpowering lies
While the manipulator is exposed

Some days are easy working for it
While others are hard barely getting by
Trying to be strong for family
Keep trucking for peers a team player
Giving your everything possible
Feels like it's not enough exhausted
Eating right, struggling with energy
Feeling more energized taking risks
From one of the guys doing your part
Doing what needs to be done
Working hard to become the guy
Want to be able to be normal
This health condition is not an excuse
Over doctors' appointments never ending
Giving blood scans and tests
Mental health draining talking about it
Feeling restless pulled in many directions

Changed over the years
Some stuck in the past
College life was a daze
Adult life always working
Working hard for insurance
Facing new obstacles that out
Leading to new opportunities
Eating certain foods cirrhosis *****
Life has changed liver disease
Praying for the better
A healthy love life for once
Not being around toxic people
Learning bass growing the skill
Can't remain the same

What is normal?
Parents with bad habits tough love
Siblings growing up opposing another
When things are weird on my end
Be in a healthy relationship for once
Not be with someone controlling
Who tries to change everything
Or fixed to be passed off
Be able to open up and feel safe
Without words being twisted
That's why I write to express emotions
Able to have a voice with feelings
Instead of fighting for a spot to belong
Love family, but words cut deep

Always saying sorry for everything
Some hold on to everything
Could never let it go
Never forgetting the past
Holding you at arms length
For telling the truth, being honest
Having your own ideas opinions
Someone is always mad
Telling others to change bad habits
Never want to change remain the same
Stuck in their ways addicted to old feelings
Trying to relive old emotions
Moments that passed were not there anymore
Growing for new moments
Scared to start a new beginning
No going back to relive the past
Everyone is going through something
Some in the wrong justifying it as right
The silent treatment has loud mental consequences
Wanting to speak out holding it all in

Things don't happen right away
Overcome many obstacles
Those little victories fuel the fire
Light the fire within personal growth
Empowered to become more
Inspired by greatness moving up
Leads to major gains victories
Rise above all the hate and pain
It's easier to let go of looping thoughts
Then, hold onto deep down rage
Focus on those blessings
Praying for others to heal and forgive
Keep working towards the dream

Feeling alright every day is a fight
Things get easier the more I write
Too old to be arguing, got things to do
Don't need to talk focused on work
Not dealing with one-sided mindsets
Trying to be me hard for others to see
Let me be back to the basics
Stopped worrying things got easier
Working for insurance, staying strong
Thoughts flowing need to grind
Don't care to explain myself
Would rather write feeling like me
Makes it easier to sleep at night
Facing fears feeling overwhelmed
Breaking down all the hype created

Outside practicing the bass guitar
Wanting to play a gig feel the vibe
The Adrenaline rush feeling alive
Trying to get better writing lyrics
Share your stories with the world
Past experiences explored for entertainment
Weird people encountered on this  journey
Many awkward social interactions overtime some might connect and understand
While most will reject without agreeing
Allowed to disagree have your own opinion
Maintaining love showing respect
Talking without hatred being bias

Holding on to the old life
It was all that was known
Letting go of the old life
There's no going back
Live with soul it starts to show
Life goes forward changed over time
Broke free from bad vibes feeling alive
No longer connected to toxic behavior
"It will comeback to them"
Is what I keep telling myself
Minding this mouth being silent
Keeping to myself  avoiding fools
Doing my own thing appreciating life
Most of all minding my business
Failed attempts lead to something better
Gave up on a relationship lost all value
Not good enough no value over the pain
Focused on gains moving up in private
Working in secret being behind the scene