Not always feeling this way analyzing compacted emotions late reactions. Not a **** up or brown noses working harder to shine from the bottom. Looking at the top can't stay down forever. A contender determined to be a champ, doing his best not settling for less.
Blinded sided side tracked working to get it all back. From down not out crazy enough to come back for more. All heart and reps drilling for killing the motions, emotions going strong on the go on the road never home.

Tired of the criticism never said anything. Annoyed being rushed, doing more seen as less. Always the outsider looking in. Writing while analyzing life looking at everything. He didn't want their approval need to go through them. They stood in the way being roadblocks.
Why were they surprised when he plowed through them. They provoked him he stood his ground as they bullies an opponent that wasn't fighting back.

Thinking what to say it plays in his head. His mind loops, he's rehearsing his lines. He wanted to come off confident and strong. Looking in the mirror; making ****** expressions working on the vocal tone.
Feeling confident about this a nice change in his routine looking for something new and refreshing.

Changing up his circle since he preferred to be alone. So many details left and actions that did coordinate. He spoke up people got hurt. once he stopped arguing it ate him from the inside out. Being pushed out now they follow him in his space. They held a grudge, didn't forgive him. He tried but couldn't forgive himself for the conduct.
Showed too much love got nothing in return. Held back felt robbed cheated himself. Some people loved him to his face. Slandered him behind his back. He was loyal to all the wrong people praying for the right once.
Tired of all the rules and double standards when he did things it was taboo. If others did the same it would be socially accepted and praised.

He was onto new things missing his old life. Trying to go forward not go back. Closed off seen as a hard *** but once he opened up. Always focused on work no time to show emotions. Being social was easy he had nothing to hide.  Everyone else was closed off and defensive threatened, by his honesty it made him feel bad for telling the truth.
He sat in his room alone with comfort. Going in public was unsettling in a crowd. Kept to himself minded his own.

He was tired of holding back as he watched the girl he was into walk by.
Doing everyone's work when he didn't even want to do his own work. Dealing with his family everyone set in their ways he was over compromising himself for others while they treated others bad and took advantage. He stopped comparing getting involved most of all caring.

His writing would get him in trouble like his mouth. Telling the truth made others see the truth but didn't how to deal with it. He got it off his chest writing with anger didn't do any favors.
When he wrote it was about how others made him feel and wrote what he thought to escape all the anguish it caused him. Letting others know they arent the only one or alone.

The dynamics changed lost energy
Divorce took its toll on the alpha
While the loss of a loved one
Changed a life the tone changed
From following to leading
Making decisions not being told
What to do how to act or behave
Leaving for the dream job
The current job part time
Another planning to retire
Go on journeys enjoy life
Away from the desk changing it up
Observing others learning from them
A lead who had a solid group
Now starting over rebuilding
Change is a good thing losing
Now adding on for the better
Not getting stuck in the transition
Letting go moving forward
No longer waiting for it to happen
It's not coming to you go after it

He was not weighed down by labels. Even though they challenged his character. He wanted to grow but remembered for all the wrong reasons. Focused on the future while the past kept trying to shadow his good deeds.
No longer that person not living in the past but in the moment. Wasn't that person seeking long term over short term glory. Multiple losses anxious to win for that victorious moment.
Trying to compose himself while others tried to remind him of who he was but no longer that person.
Close the first time around ready to finish it the second time around. Already had the experience just needed to build on it apply it to his journey.

Not agreeing with the labels
Playing the games anymore
Wasting time with the wrong ppl
Forgiving and moving on
Letting go of all the bad vibes
Since it does nothing just toxic
Needed space feeling smothered
Got close caught up with feelings
hopes up was mistaken hyped up
Made assumptions got hurt
Hearts not the same wanting different
Other things in mind the process

He took it all in things hard to forget
Now he's older and can't remember
Wanted to reach out make it right
Losing his best friend was hard
Passing of a friend without closure
Wanted to talk it out make peace
The resentment grew worse together
This nightmare feeling cursed
Given space far a part companionship
Denying one another's friendship
Never talked or bonded again
A thing of the past but never forgotten

Not fighting the change
Allowing the growth not going back
Going forward rising above
Friendships true ones stay
Family clashes not forcing it
Pride over blood has been a trend
Dreams on hold trying to keep up
No cared about feelings or emotions
Results or proof false standards ideals
Changing things to feel superior

Didn't want to argue with anyone
Learned he didn't have to say anything
The less he said the more they talked
Faded away enjoying peace within
Use to see it as being punked out
Not doing anything stayed calm
Collected not over reacting composed
Not feeling bad anymore at ease
Could only do so much slowing down

Missing his best friend
It ended over a lusting girl
They use to be a team
Have one another's back
One was sorry feeling back
The other holding a grudge
Throwing the mistake in his face
Giving up part of himself
Holding himself accountable
Still not forgiven guilty conscience
Not able to be in the same room
One kept silent let his rep die
With altered behavior never again
The other with bad habits
Mouth flapping spewing lies
Bashing others with manipulation
Departed different ways separate lives

Applied for that job day time hours
Reached out to the person connected
Seen the girl he was crushing on
Tired of putting his life on hold
Around family so alone feeling dull
Lonely in a crowded room invisible
Couldn't be more being chopped down
Couldn't be less taking criticism
An opinion that would be ignored
His different perspective denied
All they did was complain a power struggle
Expecting change but not wanting to change

He didn't care for people who did drugs. It ruined his family his parents chose that over him. He seen some people choose their bad habits over their kids.
He tries to be around family but its hard everyone grew up some are sharks only nice because they need something then giving the cold shoulder.
Watching them grow up

He always wanted to write music
Shared those feelings letting go
Showed emotions not closed off
Opened up about those moments
Things that made him smile
People who hurt his heart
Put his thoughts on a poem
Talk about the things causing misery
Tears of joy wiping them away
Taking the bad letting it die within
Very close struggling to finish

He sat across from her at dinner
Couldn't help but smile
Nervous inside he might say something dumb
He was truthful out of respect
Mouth might get him in trouble
He was excited for the chance
An opportunity to get to know her
All he wanted was love to be natural
Didn't want to lose himself in the wrong person
Not forcing it looking for something real
She smiled at the conversation
Her laughter was soothing
Gave him hope he got joy from
They walked together sharing funny stories
A life time experiences that moment treasured

He got cut it use to huet his feelings but gets it now. He wanted to do and be better but couldn't with the wrong people. He loved them but they couldn't agree or compromise. It was better they depart to go their separate ways. One focused on work and improving.
The other developed habits talking about everyone trying to use that negativity to influence other perspective on him.
He was rebel that got used had trust issues. Preferred to be alone opened up trusted the wrong people.
It was a vicious cycle learned to stay out not get involved focus on what needed to be done. He knew it wasn't given had to work for it.

Growing on the rise a power struggle
Hustling to make it right get it done
Not talking just working harder
The talkers complain do nothing
Pushing through the shift being noble
Loyalty fades till something better comes along
Always hustling no one will do it for you
Respectful to the disrespectful learn to not expect much
Learn everything so you're not waiting or relying on anyone
Trust in your self believe when no one else does

They crossed paths
Smiled at one another
One admired the other
Two being different styles
One wanted to be a couple
The other desired a relationship
Companionship over a friendship
One felt the love the other forced it
Valuing individualism broke hearts
Hurt feelings could've been more
Stuck with less obsessive behavior
Love turns to resentful lust
False promises no trust closed off
Expectation leading to disappointment
One not believing in the other
Assuming the worse while up to no good

Rather then get mad he worked harder
His heart meant well giving his all
Even though everything went wrong
Took risks came up short again
Planning to be better go harder
Plotting back at it stronger than ever
Called crazy for pursuing a dream
Did the work still getting written off
Find balance in the struggle
Composure facing chaos looking for closure

Work piling up not sure
What to do with it thoughts on a page
Pushing all out cant hold it in anymore
What to do with these words
Wanting to help others through the struggle
Writing and outlet for the pain
Express your emotions without others twisting them
The bad guy in their story it's okay to have an opinion
Controlling the narrative to justify the cruel treatment
Choosing peace and silence made room for false narrative
Walked away on the outside looking
Its the same on both sides unwelcoming

He was hating work then he noticed her. He smiled but she couldn't tell he was wearing his mask. They locked eyes smiled with them. He hadn't felt or thought highly of anyone. Always in doubt trying with all the wrong people.
He didn't care for his job working with a terrible lead but seeing her made his day better. The winter weather the rain set a tone. That felt magical and festive.
All he wanted was love but grew up with tough love. Everything had terms and conditions going through so much giving up who he is to be with someone that was never satisfied.
He seen something new and different didn't want to fall back into another bad relationship.

Thinking too much can't rest or relax
Missed his family felt out of place
Trying to make it right
Another grudge treated differently
Kept out meant well looked out
The mistake held over head
No going back no longer the same
Dk how to make it right
Said sorry not forgiven
Altered behavior labeled by the past
Sober for them now its for ones self
Got clean seeing more clearly
Not arguing learning to listen
Speaking when spoken to or asked
Wondering when and where it all went wrong
Can't go back doing what's right in the moment
Reached out and ignored not feeding egos
Pride got the best of us not talking anymore
Not fighting for a dieing friendship that's one sided
Called selfish while being selfless
Entitled while working for it

Feeling regret made a stand
Taking the insults had enough
Hoping to transfer soon start over
Looked out now filled in willingly
Now feeling left out being rebellious
Called them out proved a point
Wasn't the one got hired
Told there was better candidates
Got insulted gained thick skin
Told the job was a stepping stone
Working harder than everyone
Trying to make it through probation

Depression told him something was missing.
Anxiety told him he couldn't do it
Taking on the world felt like everyone was against him
He didn't want to argue being provoked
Walked away since everyone was looking for a fight
He minded his mouth an emotional eater
Lost in his feeling because of all the hurt
All the frustration couldn't take it anymore
Asking for help opened up hard to trust anyone

Tearing it down rebuilding
Not starting from scratch
Showing love can't get emotionally attached
Going forward not going back
Focused on faith getting back on track
Putting others first forgetting yourself
Started goals close to completing
Dreams that have been on hold for too long
Did the things that couldn't be done
The first in the family no one tried
No one cared or was happy for him
He loved his family its a battle of egos
Made him out to be someone he's not
Didn't like the two faced behavior
Talking about people then fake to their face
Acting like the world evolved them like if they approval is needed
He was responsible for himself
He didn't want anything from anyone
They didn't bother with him unless they needed something
Minding his mouth or business
He didn't like being cussed out
They got called out trying to justify it
He didn't always agree tried to understand

He didn't fit in but wanted to make it
Take everyone with him be better
Didn't have much poor with family
Trying to do right stay loyal
Everyone doing worse not trying
Praying for them to get sober
Didn't do drugs staying away
Didn't want to relapse kept a distance
Not saying anything made up false narratives
Staying loyal being truthful
Not enabling manipulators

Didn't get social cues right away
They opened up or kept him out
Another day working for it
Another way to get it done
Told them he loved them they ran away
Didn't say how he felt heart in conflict
Didn't feel the same way back

She texted him let's catch up
Then didn't hear from her
He had a crush never acted on it
She was a good friend
Didn't want to ruin a good thing
He was bad at opening up
Afraid she would think less of him
She told him everything felt safe
Appreciated her thought highly of her

He was older and tired
Didn't care for cliques
Refused to give up on himself
Give part of himself up to be accepted
Got use to being denied and rejected
Did the work didn't know
What to do next but made moves
Happy for everyone got inspired
No one was happy for him
Put his head down mouth shut
Showed up because he cared
Most just got paid and complained
Leading by example wasn't enough
He had social skills communication
Didn't like being responsible for others
Trying to motivate and inspire others
Doing the work is a must
Pursuing what you love
Doesn't happen right away
Respect the process taking the steps
Wearing his heart on his sleeve tired
Doing everyone's job is exhausting
They don't care to be there
Why should he compromise his schedule
Doing the work being called sensitive
Filling the void being called delusional
Took pride in his work and others
Called prideful while stepping it up
Doing all the things no one wanted to do

You can do it all it willingly
Never be good enough
Taking it too hard and too serious
Winning people over with hard work
There will be that one person that opposes you
Talks bad but will ask for favors
Never the golden child the whipping boy
Not looking for approval delivering
Did everything and extra not settling
Everyday is a new one feeling tested
Everything forgotten shady routine
Starting over again never ending
Good vibes full of energy doing more
Others ready to retire instead of work

Thankful for his mentors polished
Not afraid of the work
Tired of bad communication
Cared more than most
Wishing for change over the drama
Didn't argue the over reaction got twisted
Not speaking up the lies
And rumors continued to grow
Trying not to get triggered
Stayed humble and true
Not talking about anyone
Not saying anything to anyone
Being mindful listening
Minding his sharp tongue
Staying quiet observing

Always rooting for the underdog
They told them no over looked
Never given a chance took risks
Or they couldn't do it but been at it
Having more heart and caring more
Being disrespected trying harder
Never going to quit or surrender
Mocked more mouths to shut
Believing in himself no one cares
What he felt set up to fail
What he did wanting results
Win or learn ways to gain

He struggled with work but didn't want to argue
They opposed him and went against then had the nerve to expect a favor
Sometimes they loved him
Other times they ignored them
He didn't care for the selective behavior
Trying to get the work done
No one communicates at all
He was over work too much drama
Just wanted to have a brew
They tested his moral compass
While they did their shady deeds
He hated it was over the insults

They don't care about him
He busted his **** it was never good enough
Tired from carrying everyone's problems
Learned to focus on his own life wasn't so bad
Lots of things on his to-do list
Didn't want to disappoint anyone
Cheating himself for others
Doing what's right his code of honor
While being wronged taken for granted
Trying to be well rounded
Never scare to try giving it all
Not backing down striving
Giving up within to be like or accepted

He was tired of taking on the world
Standing his ground refusing to budge
Then got a text from an old friend
She wanted to catch up like the old times
He was not good at social cues especially when it come to women
He didn't want to give too much
But didn't want to mess up and lose her
He was always a better friend than a BF
Trying not to complicate things made it worse
He was not good at expressing his feeling
Showing emotions was hard because he didn't want to get hurt
She thought highly of him
But never though anything bad
He didn't force people to stay
But he didn't want them to go either
After a while you grow up and stop getting attached

Woke up tired and sluggish
Working hard to make ppl look bad because they chose to be lazy
That was a bonus they don't try
Or do the work and have the nerve to complain
Venting was hard to do so he wrote
Trying to flip and twist his words
Make him out to be the bad guy in the wrong
Because they wanted him to be less so they could be happy
He wasn't having it

He was trying to be a lead and move up
Motivating others was not his thing
Being responsible for people
He had trust issues it lead to him doing it on his own
Be better than the original work hard
These are things he told himself
He knew if he wanted her have to go out and do it himself
It was frustrating the current lead did everyone favors and ******* over the hardest worker
What an ungrateful *******
Who would snake around pretending to care
Ask for a favor and leave without a thank you
He didn't like people
Who didn't bother but would float around Because they covered their ***

They used him only a team when he did favors
Wasn't a **** up or a brown nose
He filled the void when someone called out
They inconvenienced him with their last minute crap
No one talked to him but around him
When they needed something he was an idea
Included in stuff that had nothing to do with him
He was willing to help but it wasn't fun or right
He didn't kiss *** to the lead go on trips with
Letting everyone off easy while he got taken for granted
Tired of proving himself doing more than most
He head them accountable it got disrespectful

He has a younger version of his parents
He loved them with all his heart
But they expected him to praise them
They did nothing for him he had to do it on his own
Working hard busting his **** to get what he needed
He didn't care to feed anyone's ego
No matter what he did they seen him as ghetto
All he wanted was to be himself
So many fakes pretending to be real
Judging everything he did
Never looked at what they did
Like if their wrong doing is justified or pardoned
Giving them the right to look down on others
Tried less than the kids are drug addiction son
Excluded while they collected unemployment as he worked for his

After being called delusional
Staying quiet avoiding the drama
His opinion would make things worse
Staying quiet is just as bad
Trying to mind his mouth
Being provoked was hard
They wanted him to over react
So his anxiety would get the best of him
Poking at him hoping others would see him strike
They tried to set him up to fail
He didn't need them taunting
He knew the consequences if his actions
Taking a time out from it out
Missing his kiddos on the outside looking
Tired of terms and conditions to be accepted
They labeled him but he was over people
Holding on to the past over head
Like it was going to matter in the future
He changed his ways that's how he apologized
While they remained the same never changing
More made up rules loops to jump through to amuse their boring life
Thinking too much didn't help
Scenarios playing out and possibilities

He missed her and his chance
She was married to someone
Who made her happy made it work
A mom with kids such a blessing
she told him no and wasn't ready
He wanted to call but it was too late
There was no going back only forward
It would never be normal again

The alcohol didn't bring joy
Lots of shared misery want fun
The back pain pushing through work
Staring at a blank page
Finding those emotions
Feelings that will become words
Not sure what to write pen in hand
Thinking what needs to be said
And how to say it with meaning
In a room with family being ignored
Being talked about being mindful
Never said anything about anyone
Wondering could this work
Crossing boundaries to new areas
Dating was different so much change

Forgiving them as they hold a grudge
Focused on work not on conflict
Anxious to ask out that girl
Over the same old routine
Work to pay bills on a budget
Trying to save up inflation is too much
Writing for years thinking about publishing
Anxious to ask that girl out
Scared of rejection and criticism
Always open minded dealing with others
Over made up ideology
So someone can justify their bad behavior
Offended causing negativity ready to strike
They'll try to cancel you twist your words so they can feel in control
Never one to empower anyone
Who tries to mislead or use others

Having to stretch now that I'm older
Not healing up so much wear and tear
Onto to the next level lots of growth
Can't stay the same numb to pain
Friends become foes distant strangers
Family rivals more arguments
It's your life not about them
They can't shadow steal your thunder
Not saying a word sitting in silence
Making it easy to write fill the page
Feeling complete getting relieve Processing thoughts getting it all out

Did the work with his whole being
Didn't know what to do with it
Moments of life sharing
Help others get through
Those tough times not alone
Standing up after being down
It doesn't hurt becoming immune
Use to being ignored not bothered
Talking no one was listening
Took it as an insult not saying anything
Gave it all everything got rejected
Learned to walk away found value
From an open book to private
Now everyone fakes interest
Pretending to care not the scapegoat
Do your ***** deeds own up not blame others

Told his stories talked about scenarios
Asking and wondering
What else was going on
So much change over the years
In his story rising above toxic
Others made him out to be the villain
Written off one chapter and out
He was okay with it not fighting anymore
Why stay if you're not welcomed
Because his story wasn't over
Moved on with life found closure
The girl doesn't always love you back
Moving on she's married and has kids
The infatuation faded in the wind
The lust mistaken for love full of confusion

Learning to forgive and move on
Never said anything bad to you
Threatened by my differences
Causing conflict trying to feel superior
Not empowering a hungry ego
Not reacting or overreacting to your remarks
Don't have to explain myself your mind is made up
If I gave an opinion it becomes a debate to justify your misconduct
Quick to point out others flaws then notice your own
Failed but learning from it
Made mistakes changed behavior