He got in his 4 runner went for a long drive playing loud music. Work lost value no longer emotionally connected. Took one for the team this demotion was a knife to the heart. Pondering life and changes that needed to be made. Surviving a transplant trying to go forward Another detour went backward instead of forward. Not being heard to many false narratives others believe. He stopped arguing to prove himself.
Focused on his passions outside of this crumbling building. Rushing away from the the bad focused on the good. Try to be in the moment not ahead at the future or looking back at the past.

Talking to good people
Plotting new goals to achieve
Trying to move up go forward
Another road block and detours
Did the work and got ******* over
Spoke the truth being ignored
Gave it all and it's never enough
Taking it back finding it else where
Finishing old plans on the back burner
Lots of growth anxious to learn more
Apply what's learned feel valued
All the hard work and effort go unnoticed
Not used or taken forgranted
A change of scene pursuing the passion
New experiences over the burn out

Be this or I'll treat you different
Do that or you'll be excluded
Not trying to be you
Stand tall as myself
Even if I'm isolated
Left alone being criticized
Spoke up called them out
Now your mad for the truth
I'm tired of the lies
Not going to take that

The days are long never ending
Never enough bad leadership
Planning another move
To escape the evil ways
All the pain bad memories remain
Onto to better not settling for less
Healing up after surgery feeling drained
False promise the betrayal

The date ended it go weird
From friend to strangers
Love blurred with lust
Forgiveness over broken trust
Made the most of the moment
Now it's over not meant to be
Desired more hard to see
True love hard to fine
Blinded by starved emotions
Feelings of confusion from the heart

He waited in the restaurant
It was a blind date
They chatted online
The day came for them to meet
It was his first date in years
A nervous unsettling feeling within
She would walk in the door
Her hair black big brown eyes
They'd hug it out enjoy a meal
Getting to know one another in person
Both giving it a chance for more
After they met online they came together
Over being single trying to find love
Trying something new different

Not always the first pick
Not always liked right away
Tired of proving myself
Years of making a stand
Another road block and detour
Trying to bounce back
Refusing to stay down
Shame of being wrong
Striving to right set up to fail
False promise bad communication
Disconnected seeking more else where
Feeling alone isolated excluded
All the gossip of others causing hate
Ready to walk away from it all
Start over somewhere new
Begin a new staying loyal and true

Writers block the mind
Runs wild going numb
Emotionally stuck
Not sure how to feel
Mind slowing down
Body sore and tender
Back pain with heartaches
Hopes up left with disappointment
Gave it all left with nothing
Searching for something
Not sure what or where
It will be found somethings missing

Adapting to medication
Anxiety messes with the mind
Thinking too much
Made up scenarios
Playing the role out of place
Feeling excluded from everything
Most of all ignored by everyone
Mind looping everywhere
Not able to change the past
Prepared better for the future

Heart racing foot shaking
Trying to remain calm
Eye twitching face feeling hot
Staying centered and composed
Not sure how to act on anxiety meds
Dealing with made up scenarios
Walking away feels like your fading away
Use to fight for a place once belonged
Lost value not the same anymore
Growing more hard to fit in
Doesn't belong just trying be an equal
Excluded from crazy once was phased

Always opent to change
Someone is always hating
Dress up seen as a sell out
Under dress seen as a ***
Never lazy earning the keep
Doing the job with pride
Said it couldn't be done
Pushing through the crazy
Been here before standing tall
Doesn't phase the thick skin
Live and learn with age
Meant to grow can't stay small
Big personality against an ego
Once you give up walk away
Turned your back on the hater
They try to slander your name
Your rep is worse can't bring shame

Writing has brought clarity
Changing for the better
There's no going back
Growth will continue
The mind racing in silence
Calm down the mind
Relaxing body from tension
Blood boils with frustration
Walked away from crazy
Meant for better not less

Observing everyday I don't agree but once I see bad and shady I want no part of that. One lie is too many because you don't know what to believe anymore. That's disrespectful and credibility is lost holding that person accountable the betrayal ***** when it's from a lead. The job title doesn't mean anything when you are not for the people who work.

Called ghetto for standing up for myself
Told the truth everyone is mad
The lies continue to fester and pester
Easier to walk away everything lost value
Only in it for the insurance for medication
Called a super hero for bouncing back
Trying to be normal after surgery
Always seen as different standing tall

Tried to bring you up
All you did was bring me down
We don't talk anymore
Your name will never come out of my mouth
Quick to change the subject
You don't like me but my name keeps coming out of yours
Slander my name I don't care to argue
I'd defend myself no point it's a waste of time
I'd never make you feel the way you made me feel
I don't care anymore whatever you win
It's not my problem anymore
Learned from the unfortunate events
Bern through and seen some ****
Nothing you do can hurt me any worse
Stepping it up going forward not going back

Always taking lead working
Not I charge but keep it in check
Doing my part than going home
A life outside of work seeking peace
Burnt out prefer to be alone
Working harder to escape
Closer to the finish line going strong
Came up short burned by lazy people
Doing the work under valued
Under appreciated like every job

How you going to bad mouth a person
Then ask for a favor the nerve of some
Always been a worker
Don't care about labels
Get my work done
Out work me get on my level
Not about to drop my standards
Don't have much but earning mine
Thought I was an equal
Your not better than me
Slow your role you dk me
What I'm about used my story
Once I'm out working on something better
Behind the scenes the sight of you sickening

Staying up till 2 am writing
Scenarios playing out
Reality has a different out come
Seems right mentally
Physical things don't play out
From making moves to sidelines
No credibility because of false promise
Called out the liar more lies and denial
Uttered words that hold no value
Actions are more than useless excuses

Life after the transplant
My story was used against me
Working hard to move up
Got stopped and setback
Another detour to another destination
Working hard to be independent
Impatient and hate waiting on other
Hard to trust most of all rely on people
A scar healing up from the betrayal
Dealing with a false friend pretending to care
Getting stronger everyday focused on growth
Taking charge staying out of drama
Over useless leads taking the credit

After being denied the position. He continued to work harder most give up take the job hostage act like they deserved it. He'd worker harder for something better. Not settling he expressed his goals to this unmotivated lead that detoured his goals.
It was a wake up call being better when it came to people that didn't believe in him. He didn't use his recovery from surgery as an excuse. He'd only miss work if it was an intense procedure.
From doing extra to doing his part making his area stand out. Taking time to improve himself having a life outside of work. Being a workaholic was not rewarding when he did the work most will get it without trying that's the frustrating part after this life lesson.

A few years out of high school they hung out in his friends car. Catching up talking everyone grew up and apart they use to be close. She always belong to someone else while they were friends.
She knew he had a crush but he was respectful of her. He had gone off to school experienced the world. She was finally single she was enjoying a few drinks and would kiss him on the cheek.
He was glad that happened but didn't take advantage since he didn't drink anymore overprotective of his sobriety.
He got lost in his mind asking questions wondering what it meant? She was finally single but he had other ideas on how things would go between them.

He liked her company the conversations were stimulating
He would get lost in her light green eyes
His big brown eyes opened wide with nervousness
Smiled and polite his honesty got him in trouble
It was easier to be a friend then much more
He feared her thinking less of him if things got rushed
All in his head overthinking wild thoughts
Standing confident at peace enjoying the moment

The hot summer weather was cooling
Hot nights becoming cold and fresh
Escaping the overwhelming heat
Writing enjoying a fresh cup of coffee
Clearing the mind of overthinking
Music plays in the background
Preparing and getting ready for the day

Back to the gym it's a load off
Pushing the body to the limits
Slow and in control of the weights
Muscles tightening muscle member coming back
Feeling stronger mentally
Pushing through the soreness
Body going through the motions
The tension gets more intense
Trying to find the pump
Clear the mind stare into the distance
Rebuilding muscle fibers growing
Resistance maximum effort
Controlled breathing each rep

Mood ring

You struggle being YOU
Trying to have a good day
Set the vibe feel alive
Put out positive energy
Only to be drained by bad
Usually a people person  
Being boxed/labeled judged harshly
Not the one in evil eyes
Made out to be a threat
So many twisted lies seen as truth
False promise being spoken
But prefer to be alone running solo
Listening to music feeling complete
Dealing with others bad habit
Toxic attitudes that place blame
Walk away leave the heartaches and pains
Clock in and out then back to living
Doing what's right avoiding the wrong
Always giving from the heart
Digging deep down from the soul
Trying to be a whole most of all selfless
While the negativity is black hole

Taking your path staying in your lane
People waste your time because they settled
Don't give up who you are to make them happy
When a person causes you pain and misery distance yourself
It will come back all those lies and shady actions will comeback for chosing to wrong others.
Not plotting revenge or talking smack the truth with come out
It ***** when people know but act like they have no clue

Why is it when you speak up and call people on their shadiness they make it personal. They call you sparky and aggressive for speaking up. I'm usually straight forward and honest with no hidden agenda.
While these people lie and **** up to people who bad mouth them. It's easier to walk away than get involved with people that are not in my department. It's easier to be anti establishment than let them waste your time trying to make you into their product then quick to pass you off.
I respect people I don't care for labels or certificates have to feel important. It's all about how you treat people. Treat your people right and they'll back you up
If you dump on their efforts and hard work they'll just do their job go home. Antisocial with no real connection due to false promise

you asked for help, and it was hard to do
You're sharing a moment to have it ruined
Not contributing anything to case
The nerve to complain about things
Controlling the mood, making everyone miserable
Taking over the TV talking loud
Not able to sleep, keeping everyone up
No one asked or cares about your opinion
Trying to take credit shoveling the BS heavy
Failed since day one couldn't be alone
Bringing your partner all you do is argue
around a couple with bad habits
stuck with a **** relationship
a squatter trying to control a formal gang banger
how does a person munch on food
Knock out in the middle of eating
hard to sleep with snoring and bad sleep apnea from the terrible roommates
The caretakers from hell
Expected the best dealing with the worst
They aren't going to take care of you
So you take your health in your own hands
when you want to do things, they make it ****
stuck doing their bs agenda because they are bored
it's never in your best interest

After being denied the position. He continued to work harder most give up take the job hostage act like they deserved it. He'd worker harder for something better. Not settling he expressed his goals to this unmotivated lead that detoured his goals.
It was a wake up call being better when it came to people that didn't believe in him. He didn't use his recovery from surgery as an excuse. He'd only miss work if it was an intense procedure.
From doing extra to doing his part making his area stand out. Taking time to improve himself having a life outside of work. Being a workaholic was not rewarding when he did the work most will get it without trying that's the frustrating part after this life lesson.

Writing it down free from the past
Smiled and thanked God
Healing scars on this ***
Forgiving those who've done wrong
Spiritual growth is going strong
No time for love games
Looking for the real thing
Let go of bad memories that remain
Don't care for old pain. It's in the past

after I woke up from the transplant
I was in ICU the beginning of recovery
The catheter tube would come out
Each day would consist of a task
a cut across my gut I'd pray everyday
My abdominal muscle lacking core strength
A huge cut stapled shut metal stitches
Extremely anxious to get out of bed
Having to page the nurse for assistance
Getting out of bed was difficult
I felt like a turtle on its back
I learned techniques during physical therapy
I had to urinate one of the first tasks
A process that took a few hours
After being assigned was a flow
I'd get up and walk after every meal
trying to keep strong physically
mentally missing work and home
Mostly grandma, her words echoed
"mijo, no one is going to do it for you, you need to do it yourself."
Next, I'd be asked to pass gas ripping a few.
A bowel movement, which was my final task so I could be released to be out patient staying a local to AZ

fighting to be an equal being provoked
easier to walk away, no reason to stay
one-sided argument staying silent
done trying to prove myself worthy

Not always going to be liked
Not always going to agree
had an opinion, and now everyone is mad
told the truth, now you're holding a grudge
looked out for you now you're coming at me
I wish we could coexist
Talk be civilized find a common ground
Instead of going at one another

He entered the building ignoring his bitter employees focused on doing the work. A lead that pretends to care but all about himself. Every lie hurt his ears he got tired of listening doing his part and going home. That was his new mindset work with his given time then went home.
He was the overachiever in an underachiever. He took pride in his work while most settle gave up with no ambition. Everyone talking about each other but he wanted no part of that nonsense and craziness.
The betrayal was real not going back if the opportunity was real. He set boundaries and everyone looked at him like he was crazy.  
His health came up when he was sick he'd cover now they are saying he can't do his job now that he is better. It's the two faced people with their condescending tone that was extremely is exhausting.

It's easy to take on the world
Focused on the internal struggle
It's easy to deal with others help out
Take the bullet for a friend being brave
When it comes to that internal struggle
Dealing with emotions of betrayal
Facing deep feelings rough roads
Anger with another person
Avoiding confrontation the kamikaze
Surviving this rivals with bad rep
Staying good doing the work
The lead that indulges in laziness
Doing the right thing over comfort

It's been a while
Reading more with a new mindset
Learning to do things differently
Getting older can't do it the same
Relying on basics being technical
Sister is getting married happy for her
Nephew and niece are growing up
Dealing with a terrible lead
Loyalty is lost the betrayal is real
Trying to find balance between work
Have a life outside of the drama
Separated from everything feeling isolated
Reading more not holding back
Once near death trying to live
Blessed and humble for a second chance
Trying to be there fear of missing out
Learning to say NO after being used
Burnt out focused on healthy relationships
Starting new friendships positive growth

Being old school is better than what's going on today. I don't agree but respected it. I understand it's the next generations time. Never a roadblock mind my mouth and business.
Growing up being told don't do this or don't act like that. Different times and social standards. All the taboo is socially accepted or being praised before it would be checked or stopped.
Now a days lots of imposition let people be themselves with being labeled or judge. While everyone uses labels to keep people out acting like it gives them the right to justify their behavior and actions.
Everyone is entitled to believe or feel a certain but don't force it on others. That works for you doesn't mean it's right for others. I wonder how can we make society coexist because peace will come if people would understand and accept instead of make up rules and pretend they know the answers of you know as it gets made up and BS along the way.

Writing about things you can't talk about
Those thoughts that are stuck in a loop
Holding up the team being the guy
Not the guy because of politics
Doing the work with pride
The job goes to a kiss ***
A lead that cares about being liked
Instead of being loyal higher ups
That bad mouth slander his name
******* the people who backed him
Not one to complain doing the work
Picking up the slack disrespect is served
Respected is earn know for the work
While other has a bad rep that shadows it all

He smiled looked into her eyes
He wanted to rush the time wasn't right
He could missed the opportunity
Letting the suspense build up
Intentions mean well with love
Making his move could lead to more
Possible ruin things between them
He preferred an old friend over an ex

Always fighting to survive
Fell in love with the wrong girl
Associated with the wrong crowd
Working hard for false promise
Sacrificed through though time
Sober living no one believed
Embraced being alone
The only way it could be done
Felt like no one care pushed out
Remember for failure rise
Flaws pointed out knocking effort
Being ill seen new perspective
First time experiencing love in support

Set boundaries they keep being violated
Stood my ground ready to move on
Trying to do my part stay positive
The manipulation is strong
Didn't do anything wrong
Wasn't the guy meant for something better is out there somewhere else
Doing the work to be overlooked
The team player always helping
Not going to give up on my dreams
Setting new goals outside of work
New ventures adventure
My odds after a transplant are not high
Making the most of my life and time
Feelings hurt tears shed writing to get it out of this looping thought process
Focused on progress go home play bass
Write poems to inspire others
Tired of all these lies being spread
I've been fighting with the truth
Made out to be the crazy one
Overreacting seen snarky standing up for myself

He noticed the team leader cared too much whatever others think. They'd bad mouth him he'd do anything for their approval. Even though they'd slam his name. He'd rather **** up than be loyal to the people who had his back. His true colors shined above his rep that came with his tarnished career.
That part that wants to share that evil that was cast but willing to let it die within to keep the peace. Knowing better coping with this keeping the peace all the wrong will be made right overtime. Lots of prayer and meditation because working would strengthen him and the anxiety would gain as well. Reading to clear relax the mind.

Not going to overreact after being burned
Have nothing to say the truth is out
No longer listening to lies called to the conference room by the lead who claimed to be a friend. I feeling like a man who got set up to be wacked instead of being made.
Betrayal tastes like baja blast mountain dew. Overwhelmed with same false promise stuck facing the person who took the spot that was said to be mine.

We all that family member that doesn't care how you feel or think.  Doesn't think highly of your choices or decisions.
After they bad mouth your way of life Always mad because you'd rather be your own person than follow.
Not one to follow or pretend to be cool after being insulted and disrespected.
Moving on better off alone then be filled with doubt

Interview for the job told I was wanted to be the guy. Turns out it was a lie, loyal to the wrong people. All the anger and frustration wanting to spread the hate. Meant for better not going to over react walking away the noble way meant for something better.
Finish old tasks get back on track lots of projects that need to be finished fond peace and close. The person who did me ***** acting like I'm the one who did wrong.
All the humiliation and shame feeling mocked like everyone laughing at my pain. Choosing peace over sinking to their level staying in my lane. Working my time slot going home doing my part going home.
The new person incharge dk my work but quick to call me inexperienced. I was doing more than the lead now I'm at the bottom ready to start over somewhere new.
All the lies spread to knock me down quick to bounce back from this detour. So many lies causing setback rise up with the truth.

Holding pads something didn't feel right. It wasn't wrong but felt off. He asked a question but was told do the work. He retorted with I'm doing the work, "I want to do it right" being able to adapt and adjust making sense of the confusion.
Practice sets the tone for the fight. All the sacrifice rebuilding yourself starting over means you have experience time to change it up. Back to basics focus on form and technique. A few losses can humble your ego leading to a better product.

Open to change willing to grow
Do the work not the drama
Stop comparing or blaming
Ask what you want and apply
Writing it out with feelings
Cope with those emotions
Let it free from within
Free from the past life lessons
Live in the present
Analyze and revise the plan

Feels like something is wrong
Haven't done anything extreme
A pause for the cause diverse emotions
Trying to relax recover from the stress
Bring good vibes wrestling with bad thoughts
Did the work scared to come up short
Made the wrong right crippled feelings
Fearing a negative outcome
Taking on more overwhelming frustration
Riding out most of the struggle
Protecting others from crazy
Those blindsides are the worse
Unexpected feeling rejected
Remained loyal disrespect

Worried about everyone stressing
Trying to stay calm not over react
Stay invested instead of shutting down
Playing off others wasting time
All in for the win giving everything
All the change in a fit of rage
Final chapter shut the book
Open a new book emotionally invested
The beginning drags the middle gets engaging
End is near coming to conclusions
Hard to take it all in expecting more getting less
Lost interest more involved ready to leave

Spewing off toxic vibes
Seeing out anxiety
Wanting to be there
But need to get away
Not feeling great
0 to 100 with this mood
Happy thoughts feeling upbeat
Mad for no reason sparky remarks
Ready to fight for no reason
Imploding within to not hurt others
Self destruction resistanting temptation
Being around feeling like crap
Not around wanting to be there
Fear of messing up not going back
All the pain is normal become immune
Stayed with love burnt out over the hate