The dating pool has been like jumping into a shallow puddle of mud. Taught to be a provider times have changed. Relationships don't hold value all the perks but no commitment. Being used then set free wanting more but stuck with less. An open relationship would not work one wants to be the one not one of many.
Asking what do you bring one relies on looks not contributing. Not equal one constantly gives and its never enough while the other continues to take and can't get enough never happy or satisfied. Ruining things once control is lost when they cheat blaming others for their actions.
Judging isolating people who don't agree or give into their commands. Taking advantage of the weak once someone strong comes along they are mistaken a threaten fool trying to take others down for defense.

Writing about it is the best feeling
Experience it makes it more rewarding
Things don't happen right away
Turned out better than expected
A late kiss that finally happened
Asking a girl out and she says yes
Not sure how to feel or react
Getting the job years of subbing
Treating it serious now it's happening
Working out seeing results come together
Due to dedication hard work motivation
After years of things being plateo
Finally rise up to the next level
Not getting a crush to end up let down
Trying those feelings that are unsettling
Appreciated ones company being alone
Processing making sense of things
Exploring ideas the creative process

Things didn't happen right away
Not sure what to expect or how to act
Not always the first pick or get the girl
Didn't get his hopes up came up short
Usually ended up disappointed
Lost in his hopes feeling overwhelmed
Emotions got the better of him
Betrayed by family still showing love
Hurt by his best friend hard to trust
Stayed away got sober friends faded
Blamed for cheating his girl cheating
Called bad names an unfaithful luster
Trying to expose the shame of yesterday
Did it matter it was all in the past
Taunted by the tormenting present
Pulled back by the past fighting regret
Living in the moment escaping anguish
Focused on the future new goals rising up

He stared at her and she didn't age. He felt like that scared nervous boy from high school. Trying to say something funny but came off socially awkward. She told him about his husband. He respected that he did many bad things a home wrecker was not one of them.
A flashback that had taken him back. Many things he had forgotten those memories came back, he'd  remember things that got blocked out.
He was lost in the reality working to survive, creating to escape all the frustration. Asking what he truly wanted still pursue his dreams, even if they were a secret.

He didn't expect much of others
But gave his all with everything
He opened up no one cared or listened
After a while he was closed off
Wasn't sure what he could do anymore
Joked with people that are too serious
Too serious around jokes that are insults
The dreamer knew what he wanted
Dk what he was looking for in a partner
She was pretty but insecure too needy
He made a mistake chose phony friends
Over a relationship that could of been more
Too much misery dieing to escape feeling drained
Never good enough to keep this love
Spent money on gifts that were belittled
Compared to an ex that was the standard
It wasn't meant to be not trying anymore
A mother cussing over a spoiled daughter

Called a bias for not being around it
Trying to understand or be cancelled
Told the truth being fed lies
Trying something new being called crazy
Being told stay in the routine
Breaking away from the old way of living
Trying to rise up never settling
Taking on new social standards
Not playing the race card others abuse it
Some use their body while others work
Some have money others work for it

Living his life didn't need the criticism
Walked away because it wasn't fun
It wasn't genuine anymore it was fake
Hyped up to be drained from good vibes
Many reasons to stay asking is it worth it
Thinking about moving onto to new
Got clean staying sober around druggies
Not giving into temptation open mind to learning
The addiction to alcohol avoiding it
Love for needy girls that don't love him
Stripping him down to feel secure
Failed love that's become luat unhealthy
Emotionless around closed off people
Feeling bad for showing emotions
Actually dealing with these emotions
Growing up around toxic masculinity
Trying to be a man told to open up
Then having it being used against him
Woman's love like seasons the same
Grew up old school norms that make sense
Not understanding these new ideals
All the taboo has become socially accepted
More ways to be excluded kept out
Another obstacle to pass through

Taught to be down go after it
Not to snitch everyone is telling
Loyal and treated like a cheated
Staight up made out to be a liar
Hustling not looking for handouts
Working to make it happen everyday
Pursuing the dream make it reality
So many waiting to be given everything
Cheaters get caught up not worries
Lies lead to the truth exposed on the light

Getting older the young athlete within
Struggling to stay relevant not healing
Working harder to come out even
Pushing through to make it to the end
Loving the sport but the body tender
Giving everything and taking way more
Moving slow not the same anymore
Being tough isn't enough taking a beating
Relying on technique to survive

Sad how some mock others for their believes
Some will toll you trying to get a reaction
The stupid smirk on their face pointing out the problem
That doesn't help how about providing a solution
Once you call them on their misconduct they try to come at you
Trying to be a bully online not saying anything in person
Once you learn who they are and what about you don't bother with them anymore.
Respecting their decisions it's okay to not see eye to eye
Sad how they disrespect everyone and expect respect
Looking down on others like its a right
Not contributing talking acting like the world evolves around them
Quick to place the blame for their short comings
Your way doesn't work for you why would you think it's better for others
From close to distant because no one communicates and thinks they are right
Rather than talk things out they'll make it personal.
Trying to cancel you out erase your existence for being different
Thinking they could beat you up bit not doing anything just running there mouth like always
Trying to turn everyone it doesn't matter anymore use to being alone

Facing yourself everyday toy test yourself
To see if you got it or if you want it still
An older body not recovering right away
From a youthful athlete to an older being
Challenging yourself relying on heart to finish
The older warrior within pushing forward
From the bottom fighting to stay in the middle
Building off what's already know

The women he dated some stuck on an ex
Living in the past not able to move on
Another full of lust mistaken for love
Always honest with words deep with truth
Showed them love given lies never seen as an equal
Soon to be exposed the harsh reality
Mixing up names loyal to one person
Not meant to be a player seeking long term
Infatuation drained his soul not given an answer
Seeking reasons sometimes a fling becomes nothing more
His love for interracial brought shame to the family
He seen beauty in multicultural while family stuck in old traditions
Escape old ways unlearn relearn to love again
Women are not the same the ex is not the standard
Waiting thinking they'd come back they've moved on time to do the same
Weird how they come back once you've moved onto new
Doing well before you met them their chapter is over. If you reread the chapter you all ready know the outcome
Scared to get hurt holding back just open up
Need to get out there stop fearing change
Use to be social everyone is sensitive making stuff up you can't say anything

He use to walk into enemy territory with a smile. They came at him but he settled the score behind the scenes. He use to take pride in serving those who did him a ***** a receipt. The betrayal become personal He looked out for them and had their back.
He found out they'd bad mouth him slander his character. This bad boy rep did him a favor rather than changes others perspect of how they seen  him. Everything against him was frustrating he knew not to go against family but they had it out for him. He never dated an ex of a friend or relatives.
All these made up ideals kept him out or tried to change him just to be accepted. It wasn't worth it so many people had more than him and still ungrateful. He was less fortunate but still thankful Pursuing his dreams and crafts to enhance his talents.

He wasn't taken serious seen as a joke. They think he's a push over once they crossed the line they'd be surprised when he checked them put them back in their place. He was over all the insults backhanded complements.

From analyzing everything to living in the moment. Getting away from those burdens that try to weigh you down. Doing your own thing while others are stuck in their burdens. Being consumed by misery burned out from the routine
Seeing everything as a blessing an opportunity rising up instead of letting everyone rip tear down the dream. Focused on good rather than expecting the worse. Trying to stay sharp being distracted living up to old standards that keep you at your best.

Hiding a smile because they'll come at you because they are miserable. Not welcoming or associating with toxic energy. No longer feeding into those bad vibes. Not one of them pushed out all the carnage left from stepping aside should've spoke up. It would've been a pointless conversation because their way is not right bit I'm their mind they can do no wrong. Just because they have the right to do so doesn't mean; what they are doing is right.
Got the cold shoulder the silent treatment didn't mind because it doesn't stop you from living life. They have no say or control over you because they don't agree. You don't hate them bit know how they are as they loath you for having an opinion speaking your mind.
Taking about everyone but once you call them out on their actions it becomes a debate like if it's justified. In everyone's business trying to make others look bad to feel better about themselves. They cheat the system now trying to impose their ways when you have no interest to empower their toxic ways of living.

Learning to love again after being betrayed
Living separate lives theres no going back
One gave everything it was never enough
The other forcing instead of letting it be natural
Writing to express all those bottled feeling
Confusing thoughts make sense of things
Scared feeling vulnerable with change
Wanting to love freezing up in the moment
Afraid to leave but meant to grow
New moments training for hours
That one moment lasts a few minutes

Part of you dieing embracing the new
Missing the old changing with age
Asking if the sacrifice was worth it
It didn't happen before was stressing
Now it's all going down overwhelmed
Inspiring others to do more
Stop setting for less focus on progress
Always changing for the better
Sad people still see you the same
And made no effort to never change
Lost weight to get healthy feeling better
Not always social over backhanded complements
Pursuing a dream reinventing yourself time and time again

Meeting new people ***** you make time for them but they have no room for you. Things change after getting sober. You see people are married but not happy or bound together by children. People come and go like the seasons so.e you'd like to stay while others you're glad to let them leave freely.
Looking in wondering asking why but once your in it feels like you're better off without. Some people do drugs and drink becoming dependent on it. You'd like to see them get better but they made their choices you respect them by moving on. You can't go back because they have to want help

He wanted to be happy seeing his parents struggle hurt him. All the bad habits that tore the family up. Why did this happen? Why couldn't the family be happy? They didn't have anything but did have each other as they got older everyone grew apart and angry. Everyone would rather be right than happy.
He minded his mouth because it would lead to an argument. Putting his guard down and took a beating. Watching everyone be bitter and self destructive all he wanted was to be happy.
Leaving everyone and thing behind to be sober. Wondering how much more pressure on his heart Why his racing brain would spiral out of control and crash. Trying to relax but feeling like a failure. Things go wrong with family friends and work aking how could he fix it make things right.

Always at work the fear of missing out
Once he was there felt like he didn't belong
Everyone is older wondering where the time went
Letting go of the childhood trauma no longer a road block
Escaping the fear of failed relationships
Moving onto new ideas meeting new people is hard
It's easy to have a fling better to get to know a person.
It's hard to open up when everyone is closed off
Accepting others that are quick to assume  change you refusing to change themselves
Had it all and lost it all lots of transition over time

Grew up hood not acting ghetto
Some have it all still ungrateful
Working for it nothing is given
Pursuing a dream nothing else matters
She cheated trying to pass the blame
Homie talking bad not a friend anymore
Did wrong can't carry the burden
Forgave who did their ***** deeds
Never forgiven walked away intact
Loyal to the wrong people
Bunch of two faced jerks
Watched them go away
Not accepting defeat from traitors
Everyone fades away focused on goals
Focused on doing right rising up
Knife in the back take it back
Full force going strong all heart

Break away from the rest
Aim to be one of the best
Walking away from insanity
Staying sober loving solitude
Withdrawal from drama
Gaining life no more succubus
A life choice made to be saved
No turning back a clean escape
Dragged down by a miserable lead
Made moves away from dictatorship
Free starting over finally belong
Taking charge to get it done determined
The chosen one fills the void moving up
As everyone retires to enjoy life

He told the truth everyone is mad why are they mad for living a lie. They tell him crap all the time but he knew secrets exposed the truth by calling them on it. Mad at the narrative because it's them when it's someone else they are quick to throw others under and blow the whistle.

The stories come out the tension heat is burning up everyone. No one talks unless it's to bad mouth someone or defend themselves because someone is spreading lies. Making things sound worse than what they reallu

Years of living with family has been frustrating. He didn't have kids he had freedom while bad parents left their kids with grandma. He was single not in a pointless power struggle relationship. Working to better his life not have kids that he couldn't afford. Paid his share of rent while everyone piggybacking off grandma.
When they partied they blamed him. If he was to go out he'd get a guilt trip by people that didn't work. Trying to make him seem like the bad guy because he wanted to live life outside of the chaos.

He almost quit writing because someone Said when you post its like you're telling your feelings to a computer. It was his way to vent his free therapy since it was expensive. He didn't like to yell or argue to be heard so writing became his outlet outside of MMA and work.
He was called crazy for what he did and how he did things. The dream was real in his mind even though no one put in the time or work like he did.
He had an uncle that told him he didn't belong and told him to step aside let someone else have his spot.
At the time his life was a crisis too many distractions and family issues he had no say or control over.
Most of them came at him sour he couldn't associate with them anymore. Always seen as the bad guy for pursuing a dream. Being an individual they tell him be a man but then try to stop him from doing so.
All the confusion and frustration; be this way, be that way in the end what ever he did; didn't matter to them because it wasn't about them or what they are doing. Selective when they cared or gave a ****

No one wanted it now everyone is ******* he went for it.
No one took a chance or opportunity he went for it all everyone did was talk
He was a doer not into talking anymore
Always supportive and respectful of others
They were quick to slander him and expected him to fail
He'd separate himself being sober was the best thing but it led him towards being isolated
His mental health became a priority not listening to people
He was doing it the nerve of them to criticize
All the people talking didn't do anything staying within their limitations
Working harder doing more than most what did they know.
He did the work and results showed all they did was talk full of excuses he was over it

The heart of a warrior beating strong
Fighting to be heard rise above hate
Tired of being ignored walked away
Taking a stand left all alone
Went against family seen as taboo
Family has been disrespectful for years
Talking bad on others they are no better
Running mouths that cause drama
Trying to expose others to hide wicked way
Called them on it now they are mad
Try to erase you for having an opinion
Cross you out for speaking your mind
Never used or took anyone for granted

Went so hard there's on other way
Dk what to say now
Can't live in the moment
Quick to ask what's next
Going strong going hard
Trying to slow down
The rush won't let up
Took it all in got burnt out
Let it all go feeling free
Staying true focused on the gain
Not influenced by others
Working hard than most

She claimed to love him now she's marries.
She didn't want kids had them with someone  else
He wanted her to be his girl she said no and went with someone else.
He asked her for a kiss she said no she was loyal to all the wrong wrong guys.
All these moments flashed in the back of his mind
The thought about dating but it's changed the thought of rejection would not help the progress.

Reflecting on his life
A late bloomer grew up overtime
The Soul shined with a brightest glow
Heart that was genuine and true
Ready to love again start a new
*** complicates things
Get to know a person first
Be with someone who likes you for you
Not trying to change you lose yourself
Find the one to open your heart with
Years of being with the wrong person
Be yourself don't hide who you are
Without feeling like you did wrong
Guilted for sharing emotions
Having them used against you

Are being dismissed and dissed by certain family members he swore to be better than them. Being pushed out and criticized by people that didn't know his work etiquette. What he was about or what he could do. He was tired of the same old routine thinking he could do more. Why settle for less.
He respected their decisions why did his have to come with criticism. What hurt him the most was he valued them and they seen him as useless and worthless it was offensive. He stood up for them while they were quick to throw him under. Blame him acting like they are faultless.
He let them run things to the ground because they would impose their ways rather than be open to others and how they live their life.
Anyone who didn't listen or go along was seen as a threat. He was always put in awkward situations stuck defending stuff he didn't care for or had nothing to do with him.
Eventually walking away was the best solution. It gave him peace and solitude lead to more strengths such as confidence

Times have changed before if you were poor you'd hide it. Now a days people ask for money. Always being told if you want something work for it. No one can do it for you but you. I'm big on individualism but everyone thinks they are a brand or some kind of product. Marketing themselves get out there work for it the right people will take you on.

He wanted to learn but you can only do that by doing. Reading up on it does nothing applying the material makes you learn and understand better. Always asking questions people can't explain or never give a reason it's frustrating to see some cheat the system get ahead without knowing covering their but they are willing to sacrifice others by throwing them under to distract others from seeing their flaws and mistakes.
Doing the work to get there makes it worth it but learning and being able to do so

He grew up as an outcast because he wanted to better himself. He never thought he was better than anyone. So many tried to use his flaws against him. He was fat mind worried about body image. Born is the US spoke English still shunned by his own people. Finding reasons to criticize and talk about him.

All he did was mind his business from an open book to private. Holding back hiding who he was so people could leave him alone. Feeling like he might do something wrong or be accused of something that he didn't even do.

Always respectful even to the people that tried to damage his reputation because they weren't where they wanted to be in life. It wasn't his fault or problem. All he wanted was to exist get along without putting up with others bad moods attitudes that would ruin his day.

He had to learn and teach himself since no one wants to play that role anymore. Willing to do the work even if they would discredit him. Working his

In his culture you couldn't show emotions it was a sign of weakness. Not able to vent to anyone because they'd use it against you. Trying to hold your burdens over your head thinking they have the upper hand thinking they could manipulate your behavior.
Or didn't care to hear your sad stories not making time for your feelings and emotions. Talking about you being mean and having the nerve to ask for a favor after all that disrespect it was like a slap in the mouth.
Spreading lies sick of all the rumors the people who came at him did way worse that's why no one bothered with them. He  stayed true keeping a good head on his shoulder anything he did bothered them.
He was told "your make me look bad" not his fault they didn't try or put forth any effort.
He did the work got straight to the point there was BSing his way through. He remembered they didn't have his heart or think the way he did but he was given an opportunity taking a chance to better his situation help others in the process.

He gave his all thinking it would lead to more he always gave more effort than most. Trying to make something out of nothing. He admired her but she was hot and cold. Feeling overwhelmed staying away. He hated hiding his feelings but he didn't feel valued or respect.
It should be equal but it's always with terms and conditions. It just got old he'd  walk away do his own thing. He use to open up buy others made it seem like he was trying too hard or feeling sorry for himself.

He felt used only when they needed something he became a thought. He took on the burdens but he didn't want to do it anymore. He trusted them but their actions said otherwise.
He learned to process his feelings and emotions. Stopped looking for approval. Doing his own thing. He stopped texting first his phone was for music. He tried to put himself out there not easily received by his peers or crush.
He wanted more than friends with benefits. Hoping it would lead to more. Tired of being placed in the friend zone. He was over all the one sided friendships and relationships. Feeling unworthy not good enough He deserved better.
His peers bad mouth him behind his back never to his face. Always held him to different standards.

From best friends to strangers
Went to school together
Hung out then grew up
Grew apart wanting different things
One was about bettering his situation
The other distracted by wild lifestyle
Partying with wild women
Both had bad habits one was a drinker
The other into trying a variety of drugs
One feared the friendship ending
The other gave up on everything
A girl came between them
One was sorry it happen the other would never forgive

Bought a bass to join a band it was suppose to be a Christian band but the guy who organized it would have many hidden agendas. It wasn't fun or a group project trying to control everyone and everything eventually it would end.
He joined to help write music hoping to learn and grow in his faith. Everything was misguided not going well or according to plan. Not able to fix the situation he'd look for other ways to learn other ways.

Music spoke to the heart
The best lit up the soul
Singing fueled the heart
Able to feel sane again
Numb from the world
Love from within grew
Appreciate time alone to reflect
Taking in the silence composing
Pursuing goals to live life
A dream becomes reality

He seen her with another guy it drove him crazy. He felt betrayed and worthy mostly angry insulted that a person would lead him on then act like what happen between them didn't happen like it didn't matter or mean anything.
He remained loyal to the wrong person once he moved on. She would try to take interest on his new romantic encounter. He would tell her to mind her business.
She would play her mind games saying she missed him when she wanted nothing to do with him. He'd ask her to be his gf but she said no but a week later would be in a relationship with someone else.
She didn't want a relationship with him. He was dating so he could get over her even though he wasn't ready. He needed time to heal.
He was one of many never meant to be the one in her life. His actions and behavior would get the best of him because he had never been in that situation before. Being a late bloomer was not helping but once he went through it he learned to deal with it.

When he was at his worse they gave him crap. He thought tough love was a way of motivation but didn't like it. Then things got better and he still got the same treatment. He was done cut them off said no more because he did it his way. Their way didn't work for him
After he spoke up they tried to isolate him bad mouth him. He didn't care about his reputation anymore because he knew that he wasn't imposing or bothering anyone.
They'd never show him love or give him props unless they got credit crapping on his glory. Trying to take his moment making it about them. They weren't there when he needed them. He was always there for them even when they didn't want him and pushed him out.
He finally walked away cut the cord over all the discouragement. Tired of seeing them being two faced bad mouthing people than acting buddy buddy the two faced snakes.
He found confidence in himself without the shady people trying to weasel their way in to his life. He lost weight because he didn't let them throw a monkey wrench on his routine. Trying to guilt him like he did something wrong. He paid his way through and owed them nothing.
He loved them but all they did was hurt him make him feel inadequate.
Changing the rules in their favor he was over the games his life did not evolve around theirs. Praying for them because anything he did was wrong and didn't like people who are one sided.

He asked why can't we be friends? She said if you get with someone I might get jealous. Who knew there was someone else on her end. After things crumbled she did everything she said she'd never do. She claimed she didn't want kids or to get married. she did all that with someone else.
She wanted a relationship but not with him. After being lead on he learned the lesson and moved on.
He became a workaholic so he could better himself. Relationships were complicated. He was told put yourself out there so much rejection and he could see through the act trying to get to know a person. He stayed true to himself when trying to get to know a person.

Can't always find the words because someone will twist your words try to guilt you for having an opinion. Use them against you to justify the terrorism they are going to dish out.
Not married so you can't manipulate others with foul treatment that's given to their spouse. You have to communicate the silent treatment or nagging doesn't work.
Trying to treat people like children doesn't give an upper hand you can't control or dictate others behavior. Doesn't make you superior with false narratives.
Trying talking to people like an equal show respect because you dk their struggle or story. Everyone has a different up raising that's part of their growth. Maybe their fuel to pursue their dream working to achieve goals. You can't impose yourself thinking you know what's best when you haven't figured out what's best for yourself.

Hard to get close everyone is leaving
Having no say or choice just going along
Saying I love you not hearing it back
Hearing I love you not feeling it back
Giving a kiss full of love no kiss in return
Holding a hand that goes lifeless
Fighting for a lover making the drama
Still single while everyone moved on
Found someone new got over it fast
Waiting for the one more selective
The failed love was really lust
All the trust was gone no connection
Hard to trust with the hostile behavior
Hard to open up feel safe for sharing
Emotions like a weapon hurting feelings
Such a savage attack mental overreaction

The fresh air smell of the baseball field
Watching the youth play lost in the game
Everyone moment coaching on first base
Prep talks in the dug out to hit the ball
Encouraging them to be better focused
Work on the strengths let them perform
Improve on those weakness lots of reps
Prep for the next game lots of practice

Years of being betrayed still smiling
Tired of hearing lies staying truthful
An open mind on the rise for change
Around good vibes positivity living
Negativity left behind causing struggle
Bringing the world that's going sour
Cutting ties not hurting anymore
Fighting to fit in accepted not belonging
Moving on not that person anymore
It can't be thrown in this focused face
No longer numbing used as leverage
Forgiving oneself not taking the blame
No more living with the morphing pain
Use to be there taking the blame
Not around anymore doing what's loved
Pursuing this passion festering within
Growing strengths fighting through

Showing them love they ignore you
Making time for them to be forgotten
Reaching out feeling like you're  bugging
Trying to be more stuck with less
Never settling not an option on the side
Wanting more to emotionally invested
Made them a priority invested time
Treated like an option being set aside
Being at your beat getting their worse
Walked into danger to be betrayed
Kept coming back for more seen good
Now staying away got hurt for caring
After all the wicked deceitful love
Feeling defeat taste of rejection

You put yourself out there getting to know a person. Turns out they're not who you thought or what you made them out to be. You believed they were better but only getting their worse.
Trying to be vulnerable in the seas of broken trust. Swim in the water of love that's contaminated with lust. The mask of lies is removed to expose a hidden reality.
Seeing the beauty glow but once inside its toxic infecting others by draining them of their individualism. Trying to control others worlds by destroying them instead of making theirs better.

Talking music with the youth. Hoping they like it and appreciate it like when you use to be a teenager. Hoping they find their own way. Music that connects to their heart and soul instead of feeling misunderstood.  
Trying to be there for them from a child to an adult forced to grow up. Not taking life too serious but taking the passion serious creating expressing one's self. Letting go of that dark energy release those bottled emotions.
Not holding on anymore determined reach down let it flow so one could grow. The changes shines everyone knows they can't take credit for you or act like they understand you after things get figured out.