Saying sorry hoping to be forgiven
Made mistakes shouldn't be excluded for them
Some will never forgive stuck in that place
Same old face new behavior altered for the better
Can't live in the past trying to be in the moment
Tomorrow isn't promised treasure it while it lasts

Transfer day come to find out an old lead called the new lead spreading lies slandering his character. This rat face ******* tried to be controlling and full of himself a job title that held no meaning.

If you're in the trenches working trying to help respect was earned and gain. This useless lead demanding to be informed so he could pass it off to someone else. Taking the credit being arrogant full of himself. Before it bothered now it's a laughable moment.

Had to go through someone else's crazy to make you stronger and better person. You can't help them but learned who not to be and be better. Working hard to make sure it got done in a timely consistent manner.

Who are you outside of work?
Tired of living up to ideal standards
Over others judgement
Working in the background
Eventually started to stand out
Working hard to get ahead
Yet still in the struggle
Missing family but with them fear of missing out
Like something needs to be done something is missing
Seen their True color now mad they see there's no games or playing on this end
Just walk away Not worth reviving something thar tried to destroy you
Kept a distance never said anything bad

Sorry still living with the guilt
Ignored by people excluded by many
Be part of something fit in for once
A lost man finding away to resolve peace
Hurt his best friend over a girl
Been hurt by a formal friend
Hard to make the wrong right
Wanting to be forgiven another
Hard to forgive other no do overs
Reached out got ignored gave too much
Let it go now getting all the blame
Trying too hard never good enough
Stopped caring let it go
Had to restrain get over it
Lack of communication
Many assumptions are made

Fired from the first job what made it worse was he let his cousin down.
Getting beat up at work to lose the second job by an older lazy coworker
Ever job and life lesson learned changing not meant to be the same
Tired of holding onto bad it never gets good or better
Just positive thought and optimistic thinking is close as it gets
Moving forward years being stuck stuck in the rut

Bouncing ideas off others to grow
Some give feed back
While others give look at you like you're weird
Hearing it out loud thinking about the next move
Been around different crowds always their person
But they aren't mine we grew apart seeing friends like family
To be treated like a distant friend

Hard to say NORMAL
Everything is weird and crazy that's usually how it plays out
It's not healthy but thankful to have someone
Not treated right but willing to make it work
Sometimes things don't make sense but work out
Being with the one you love doesn't work out
Someone that loves you doesn't go right
Trying to work it out mentality
Physically drained from missed opportunity
Hard to cope with change so rapid
Never given a chance for things to grow into more
Friendships end growing apart
Or over girls that lusted around close friends causing a divide

Learning to eat serving sizes not indulge because of stress. Divide up the meal not consume it all in one serving. Lightened load less stress focused on the change up. From the bottom to the top working on being better.
Looking back but never going back
Better in the moment forget the past
All the change was rewarding
Finally made it while others gave it up
Breaking rules knocking down walls
Rising up against the odds going strong
Striving towards greatness over the tardiness
Friends turn rivals not making it personal
Stayed loyal withing true to self
Taking on another fake persona than before

Meet a nice girl who's not materialistic
Someone accepting that
Doesn't change anything about you
Open to grow together feel like an equal
Not be submissive or treat one bad for power
Something natural not forced rewarding
Not soul ******* and toxic with an ego
Seems easy but it's complicated most of the time

Trying to be normal it's always a fight
Working harder than most seen as weak
Not a lead doing lead roles standing out
Want a healthy relationship everything so complicated
Health issues just want to enjoy life
Eat without worrying
How it will effect the body
Self destruction has taken its toll
Doing more positive and creative things
Tired of arguing with others tired
Trying to get along they are holding a grudge

He woke up ready to take on the day
Dressed his best to do his best
Wrote down ideas focused on the work
Writing his book a life projects
Playing with some deep thoughts
Trying to make it working for
Nothing is given but earned
Lost in practicing bass guitar
Feeling it doing pad work
The concentration is sharp
Focused on being better

Free from family able to be yourself
Do what you like makes you happy
Instead of ridiculous standards
No one is living up to all talk no action
Being with the wrong person relationships failed hard
Not trying to force things it was never natural
Empower yourself to inspire others
Keep working for the dream
Focus on goals challenge yourself
Wanted to move up got comfortable
Opportunity presented itself taking risks
Given a chance wanted it more than most
Use to care stopped worrying got distracted

Things are better working with people feeling valued
Before around people that demanded it was never good enough
From doing the grunt work to leading the pack
Making sure it gets done making extra effort
Doing the extra on top of normal stuff
An old lead set in his bitter ways
A new younger lead that's more understanding
Part of the team not being used and pushed out
Thankful for the changed everyone contributes making effort
Not a bad lead taking all the credit

Loving you and kept out
Your hatred pushing everyone away
Talking about everyone like it's right
Causing division among friends
Putting out positive vibes
Trying motivate others to enjoy life
Stop being stuck on an ex
They moved on do the same
Quit blaming yourself they chose to cheat
Forced it failed because it didn't work out
Loved too much only one sided
The passionate kiss lost its charge
Hand holding gave life now soul *******
Being selfless for others feeling ignored
Helping others

Hard to open up show emotions
He had an opinion his words flipped
Emotions used against him
Silences stirre the truth within
Always feeling alienated by peers
Excluded his opinion not validated
Be a certain way live up to ideals
All he wanted was to be himself
Treated like he did something wrong
Working twice as hard feeling cheated
Rsing up feeling brought down

The trio met behind the building to talk about the turn of events. Everyone played a role some did more than others. The boss would cut out the lead who was the middle man. Talking to the one who got it done.
Some are well off while others are working for theirs. The lead never took charge. While the up and comer was determined but didn't like stepping on toes but hated walking egg shells.

Trying to be normal so many things complicated
Wanting a family coming from a broken home
Working hard to stand out stuck in the background
Showing up with good vibes positive energy
Helping the team trying to keep them motivated
Be in a healthy relationship get to know the person
Not lust and be manipulated
By someone who's insecure causing doubt
Who doesn't care about the real you
Staying positive feeling depressed
Working hard to get in shape
Done it before dieting to get it back
Know what it takes even with health conditions

Never one to get mad quick to forgive.
I respect others with different opinions
After being insulted it's time to cut ties
Trying to debate and conversate
Making things person doesn't mean right
Arguing with true facts  taking on lies
Staying on topic while distractions
Makin personal attacks on flaws
Nothing to do with the conversation
Always respectful not welcoming hate speech
Going silent keeping a distance
Staying away from toxic behavior
Took the insults never again
Overcome many obstacles
Don't need peoples approval
They don't have what I want
Even if they did finding another way
Not going through them to get it
Never had family support
It ends up being about them
Everyone has problems
Doesn't mean others will give up their life
Take on their drama keeps getting worse
That they choose to be stuck on
We are not the same or equal
Spoke up looked out got ignored
No sympathy or remorse emotionless
When you told the person
This could've been prevented

He was pursuing her, she gave him the run around. He had to cut ties move on. They talk about dating but she was always busy. It was one sided he'd text her and she'd never respond or left him hanging.
He knew his worth and value tired of settling because it was pointless. She got his hopes up then got his feelings hurt. Thinking this would be different it ended up being worse.
Used his time and energy pursuing his goals learning bass guitar and doing MMA getting the technique down. Working out those kinks to be a better person.

Though this was love
Turns out she's collecting
Being on her way
Trying to side hustle
Making it a job
Instead of trying work for it
Making flash promises
Pretending to be nice
After the transaction is made
The act fades away
Leaving you invested
No returns just cash taken
Leaving everyone used
A one time scam
Never buying that again

Found joy in writing got a complement reread the material. Surprised myself with my words. Always in a different mindset. Told to publish something not sure who my audience is because use to being an outcast kept out looking in.

As time passes things change along with age. From wanting to being young and dumb. Now older and wiser than before telling stories from mistakes and failures life experiences. Always deep thought coping and reflecting on life. Telling those funny stories. now being more cautious and seeking opportunities.

Stopped reviving dieing friendships. Love family but not able to be yourself makes it easy to leave things behind cut ties. One sided friendships

He wanted to be part of their world seen as an equal. They pushed him out kept him so he did his own thing. He didn't have to prove himself and stopped seeking their approval. They always talk about everyone to distract others from their wrong doing. Staying away keeping a distance
Focused on training and learning bass guitar being more artsy and creative behind the scenes making his own way being a trail blazer

Keep creating let it flow
Make your imagination come to life
Dreams make sense in the mind
Desired more mentally experienced
Physical demands become obsessive
Love the process to create not holding back
Things come together don't want it to end
Starting turns into more playing with ideas
Feed back the development is appreciated
Looking back close to the end
Asking what was going on where did it come from

Forgive and move on
Prayer helps
Walk in faith
A lonely journey
God will provide

Forgiving for peace holding onto a grudge doesn't empower you it controls you because all you want to do is create scenario of things that never happened. Things you want to say or could say but if the confrontation happen nothing would be said.
Using your imagination playing with hypothetical situations. You think you have the person figured out but you don't know what they feel or going through trying to get the upper hand thinking you know to find out you have no clue.
It's okay to be wrong it will bring shame you'll feel embarrassed. Everyone makes mistakes just learn from it be a big and better person for next time if there is a next time.

He couldn't pretend nothing couldn't happen. Give up his believes because something was trending. Using to being rejected being cancelled didn't bother him. He was always writing to express himself. Tired of his words being twisted and being excluded for having an opinion wanting to be an individual.
He might have missed out or made mistakes but didn't no compromise his integrity to be accepted. Not everyone will agree or get along because everyone has a different situation or grew up differently. Some have more than others while some have to work to get what they have.
Best advice given was do it yourself no one is going to do it for you. Do your own thing most of all treat others right even if you don't see eye to eye. Give them space you don't know their struggle or what they are going through.
Getting older is exhausting no time for hate or hold onto festering grudges that won't be settled or come to terms dude to stubborn pride and arrogant egos.

Asked what hurts you
Family was the response
Siblings that never get alone
Bad communication assuming the worse
Everyone thinks they are right
Only when they need something
If you can't help forever holding a grudge
Cussing you out expecting respect
Thinking bad behavior will be rewarded
Not able to open up using it against you
Manipulate others slander your character
One sided arguments better to walk away
Called delusional for being an individual
Sensitive for having an opinion
Speaking and standing up for myself
Things never change remaining the same
It's easier to keep a distant then get involved

They'll bad mouth you
Don't listen keep being better
Try to knock you down
Get back up go hard
Slander your name
Stay clear of their dirt
Saying it can't be done
You've already done it
Fighting to survive positive vibes
Not feeding egos by giving in
Crazy enough to stand alone
Come back for more no surrender
Family becomes strangers
Friends become foes
Learning to walk tall use to being alone

When you do what your suppose to do
Looking around worried hoping
Praying everyone is doing alright
Someone is always mad instead of thankful
Complaining instead of focusing on the blessings
Comparing life to another's just keep living
Everyone is struggling or going through something
You're not alone everyone is important
What you do to better the situation matters
Somethings you have no say or control over
Take on what you could handle one day at a time
Either you live in the moment or miss things
Trying to live up to others expectations
Everyone has a plan it might not happen right away
It might happen not accordingly keep doing the work
Keep growing and learning build a foundation
Appreciate supportive people let go of the toxic ones
Share memories and moments don't let anyone dull your shine

Some want to go back
Be fixed by what broke them
Live that moment where they felt whole
Even if that was lived short time
Fix things that go worse overtime
Or do nothing because trying didn't help
Mistaking lust for love minds confused
Hearts broken due to obsession
Heated romantic passion fades away
Places that brought joy are gone
Long lived memories from the past
Another  chance if that's possible
An opportunity to do things differently
Not there anymore reminiscing
Out grew that with time so much change

Two brothers, who don't get along
Never see eye to eye different lives
The good brother working his way through
The bad brother forces his ways
Trying to take over muscling others
One talked about everyone making drama
The other minded his mouth walked away
Crossing paths treating one another like strangers
Brothers should look out for each other not oppose go against one another

He stared at the mats knew it was home. The fear of getting an injured walking with a bummed knee. Stretching to feel right do better drilling. Making three points of contact, cupping to secure the submission. Breaking the guard with knee slicers.
Trying to get the technique down so it could work more effectively.
Gi vs No Gi two different worlds learning to be patient every action leads to a reaction. Bruised up from training sore and tender muscles.

Trying to find true love
Anxious for it been deceived before
Fell in love with her soul addicted
Her smile could make his day better
Not able to get enough once it ended
Couldn't get that fix
Expecting the person fix a tampered heart that's broken
Moving on was hard not using the new to get over the one
Once rushed trying to heal getting over one by getting under another
Took time alone got away reading and writing to get new perspective
Fell out of that world ventured in another

Staring in the mirror practicing each line
The monologs bouncing around in the back of the mind
Want to empower others not argue or fight
Couldn't share or have an opinion just writing it down
Use to show you love not wasting time anymore
Hearing the hate in your voice bringing everyone and everything down
Use to go out of my way couldn't take that pain anymore
Accepted the role as the black sheep
Walked away instead of being personal and deep
Don't wish that hatred on anyone
Not passing the torch took the burns
Let it end faded away doing something

Wrapping his fist taking breaths getting mentally prepped for the drills. Clearing his mind getting in the zone. Focused on foot work and throwing punches efficiently. Telling his older body to move his feet don't be flat footed. Be your best help your cousin prepare for his next fight.
Working hard to be prepared for this combat battle. Every strike must be precise. Landing kicks to chop down this opponent get inside and out keeping a distance. Punches that connect breaking away from the clench throwing strikes that cause the hands to drop then react in a strategic manner.

Woke up early for work it's dark and wet out because of the rain debating on showering. Being wet in the cold staying positive through this transition. Not a lead but willing to step it up to get the job done. Half the crew was out now the whole crew will function as unit, Hopefully.
Thinking what needs to be done and how to get it done in a timely efficient manner. A young team trying to live up to old rules and standards learning to manage yourself without supervision from elders.  Doing your part not going against one another everyone has strengths and weaknesses play them accordingly.

Wanting to be better on this team, hoping they rise up as well. Determined to be the wild card ready to fill roles take on all obstacles to get the job done. Thankful for the job and know what it's like to not have a job.
Being judged by family looked down on now striving towards more not settling for less. Proving foes wrong never said anything bad about them but word came back around they had nothing good to say. I respect their opinions that plays no role in changing others.

How much sacrifice till you made it? Long days of over time giving up a social life but wanting one as well. Thoughts of dating and a relationship. The fear of being cheated on while being at work. Her actions will blame you because you're taught to be a provider even though times have changed.
Trying to communicate but no one speaks back. Then blamed for it trying to plan work with everyone's schedule. If anyone is forgotten they made no effort to participate. Everyone complains but doesn't care since it's not important to them.
It Hurts to smell your mom reek of alcohol knowing something is wrong but not getting involved took them out for lunch not always available. Would like to be around being your own man and person is important. The love of family is strong but distant because that tough love doesn't make life easy.
Siblings are doing grown up stuff but not helping anyone. Finding reasons to talk about everyone because their life is inadequate. Everyone makes mistake and learning to deal with being wrong just part of the growth process. Not the same person anymore Everyone has a chance to move up and improve. Don't get mad if you're passed up keep doing the work.

They try to stone wall you not take accountability for their actions but quick to put you in the hot seat. Over those awkward silences no one is talking about them and quick to play the victim.
It's uncomfortable dealing with their bad attitudes they've cussed you out and act like they've been good to you or loyal. Usually the ones dragging your name through the mud to cover their ****. If they owned up instead of being disrespectful would make things easier. Said I was sorry and wrong from my side that's the pride keeping everyone divided.

After a while you don't care to prove especially while doing the work. Stopped caring going further and farther than everyone talking.
They didn't believe in you; think highly of you. Use to empower those people talking, not saying anything. Giving them a reason to talk that's all they do. Got tired of the criticism it's never right or good enough. I'm doing the work the one picking up the slack. You had their back while they turned on you trying to destroy your name because they have no say turning everyone against you being a negative vibe against all your good deeds.

Better to stay away those unsettling feelings returned
Use to think I coukd trust you
Going hard with that guilt trip
Expecting me to give up and let you win
Always had your back so much pain
Saying I love you after ruining things
Insulting others then adding just kidding
Acting like your world is better
Even though I use to be part of that
We use to date it failed part of fate
Everything I was denied you did
Went on without me never good enough
I'm wishing you the best no hard feelings
Ive been focused being better
Find someone to meet your high standards
What you need to be happy
What you're looking for in your quest
It's not me I'm not the one
We could never talk just argue
Doing some shady activities behind my back
Always picking a fight or trying to get me to confess something to justify your wrong doing
Accused of cheating but never alone being together felt smothering
She was watching me but never did anything
Being isolated from friends they don't like one another put in an awkward situation
Everyone leaves in the end another life in another place
Can't remember anymore so far away
Got sober reminder of blurry moments

Coming up everyone is against you
People always told him stuff
He remembered those words some taken to heart
It made him better some advice lingered
Working hard while others complained
Finally got hired others looked to retire
Might as well do the work till that moment comes
Being told it was a waste of time doing the work made him better
Dealing with a lead that would abuse his power
Doing his work once he transfered the truth would be exposed
Told he had a bad attitude for not agreeing
All those assumptions would be proved wrong
The old lead calling the new lead speaking slander
Trying to ruin this new opportunity
It made him more grateful and thankful
Not interested in being a lead but given the responsibilities
Thankful the higher ups trust and confident in his abilities

Never afraid to start over keep building on what you know. Keep striving for more not settling for less. We use to be close now we can't be together. I pray you don't turn out like your siblings or parents. Felt pushed out not forcing my way in not use anyone believing or standing by my side.
Wishing you the best not my place I have no say. Your parents came at me sour not arguing or taking the corruption anymore. The world changes the day you stand up for yourself.

Thankful for others concerns but don't agree with their perception of how they feel or think by mistaking my kindness as weakness. Talking about you to get a reaction make you look bad in front of people you value. Trying to make you devalue yourself lowering yourself to their level which is below your standards.
At one point you looked out for them and they came at you making you a target because they have nothing going or things are bad they set themselves up to fail and trying to bring you down with them.
Learning to say NO and not interested not following trends. Lost interest in crowd because they expect and take; it's never enough. More made up rules and standards that go in their favor. Leaving you feeling used and humiliated for trusting them thinking they actually valued you as a person.

Being able to escape the bad
Focused more on the good
Stopped letting family be discouraging
Asking what I want instead of giving in
Not giving up lost in learning
The bass guitar a connection to a grandpa that passed
Drawing use to stare at a blank page
Not thinking too much letting things flow
The creative process able to feel again
Moments at the track escaping home
Bettering your mind and body
Life's not bad being around toxic people
Made it easy to leave without looking back
Not involved anymore
The childhood trauma
Doesn't continue in adulthood

A Friday night as a teen going to the video store to get a movies and a game for Nintendo 64. An evening with the family then order pizza. Watching movies on vhs   that would later becoming DVD. Playing video games with friends and siblings. It got extremely competitive playing Golden Eye or Mario Kart. Video games use to be fun now a days it's a job to complete a mission.
Use to be confused when my dad would say it use to be better before. Trying to stay modern but everyone is asking what's next instead of making the most of things. Before the internet was an escape but now a days it's become a reality for some.
I remember calling people to make plans chat it up now a days people text and still don't connect so much miscommunication. How do you get to know a person if they won't open up or won't give you a chance because of the assumptions made. Trying to hold onto what is know but losing yourself to keep up.

Minding your business then boom blind sided by family
Climbing to get out of the struggle whole everyone has embraced it
Facing the world isn't enough
Feeling betrayed should've been expected
Would never do it to them like they did you
Avoiding people becomes more comforting
Getting hints not bending over backwards
They don't want you to lie
But don't wanna hear the truth
Seen them as a priority treated like an option
Seen them grow up stayed outta the way
Now they are their own person
Coming at you like you owe them
Let's be civil talk things out
Instead of holding a grudge

Claiming to love quick to move on
Picking fights expecting communication
Keeping Secrets been open and honest
Couldn't have female friends got jealous
Respected your feelings no regards for mine
But you could have male friends sneaking around
A guilty conscience projecting to justify wrong doing
Never made false promises honored words if spoken
Mouth saying one thing actions contradicting
Told to be a man take charge all credibility taken away
Fed up gave up walked away from this toxic love
Being called a narcissistic for not giving in
Trying to be open not have it used to be manipulated
Isolated trying to balance out a relationship and friendships
Everyone is gone faded away focused on being better
Got use to be alone doing everything not expecting much in return
Living on borrowed time making the most of things

Tackling old issues to be free to move onto new
Friend to foe a stranger dk you anymore
Worried about you call forwarded
An unanswered text so much suspense
Talk about getting together it's not health
Moved on mentally still having feelings
Denying myself feeling neglected
Going back thoughts of being disrespected
Being single thinking for one makes sense
In a couple feeling everything mindful
No say or control wild memories remain
Being with her means denying yourself
She's an act pretending to be someone else
Looking out for her keep her safe
While she's willing to let you take the blame doing evil deeds

Shunned by your best friend over a girl
You messed with her, he did as well
One was lust the other madly in love
She didn't belong to anyone
One thought he could make her the one
Old time flings ruining modern friends
Broken trust friends never more
A faded friendship from long ago
An apology that's never forgive
Trying to be normal come around
Feeling guilty ashamed living with pain
Everyone pursuing success got a taste
Greedy for more stepping on others
Failure became more common
Stuck on childhood trauma hard to grow
Wrestling with struggle survival skills
Always learning on another level
Old momentum not prepared for new
Doesn't help with new obstacles

Wanting to funny joking with others some will get mad or offended for the truth. Grew up around people talking smack and took it once you start talking back people lose their crap.
Always open and honest called blunt and ruthless with the truth. Grew up tough but able to find a funny moment through those dark times.
Always straight up because lies are hard to keep up with. Writing different ways to say it or how it could set a tone. It could be deep and dark or humble with some positive energy.