Though this was love
Turns out she's collecting
Being on her way
Trying to side hustle
Making it a job
Instead of trying work for it
Making flash promises
Pretending to be nice
After the transaction is made
The act fades away
Leaving you invested
No returns just cash taken
Leaving everyone used
A one time scam
Never buying that again

Found joy in writing got a complement reread the material. Surprised myself with my words. Always in a different mindset. Told to publish something not sure who my audience is because use to being an outcast kept out looking in.

As time passes things change along with age. From wanting to being young and dumb. Now older and wiser than before telling stories from mistakes and failures life experiences. Always deep thought coping and reflecting on life. Telling those funny stories. now being more cautious and seeking opportunities.

Stopped reviving dieing friendships. Love family but not able to be yourself makes it easy to leave things behind cut ties. One sided friendships

He wanted to be part of their world seen as an equal. They pushed him out kept him so he did his own thing. He didn't have to prove himself and stopped seeking their approval. They always talk about everyone to distract others from their wrong doing. Staying away keeping a distance
Focused on training and learning bass guitar being more artsy and creative behind the scenes making his own way being a trail blazer

Keep creating let it flow
Make your imagination come to life
Dreams make sense in the mind
Desired more mentally experienced
Physical demands become obsessive
Love the process to create not holding back
Things come together don't want it to end
Starting turns into more playing with ideas
Feed back the development is appreciated
Looking back close to the end
Asking what was going on where did it come from

Forgive and move on
Prayer helps
Walk in faith
A lonely journey
God will provide

Forgiving for peace holding onto a grudge doesn't empower you it controls you because all you want to do is create scenario of things that never happened. Things you want to say or could say but if the confrontation happen nothing would be said.
Using your imagination playing with hypothetical situations. You think you have the person figured out but you don't know what they feel or going through trying to get the upper hand thinking you know to find out you have no clue.
It's okay to be wrong it will bring shame you'll feel embarrassed. Everyone makes mistakes just learn from it be a big and better person for next time if there is a next time.

He couldn't pretend nothing couldn't happen. Give up his believes because something was trending. Using to being rejected being cancelled didn't bother him. He was always writing to express himself. Tired of his words being twisted and being excluded for having an opinion wanting to be an individual.
He might have missed out or made mistakes but didn't no compromise his integrity to be accepted. Not everyone will agree or get along because everyone has a different situation or grew up differently. Some have more than others while some have to work to get what they have.
Best advice given was do it yourself no one is going to do it for you. Do your own thing most of all treat others right even if you don't see eye to eye. Give them space you don't know their struggle or what they are going through.
Getting older is exhausting no time for hate or hold onto festering grudges that won't be settled or come to terms dude to stubborn pride and arrogant egos.

Asked what hurts you
Family was the response
Siblings that never get alone
Bad communication assuming the worse
Everyone thinks they are right
Only when they need something
If you can't help forever holding a grudge
Cussing you out expecting respect
Thinking bad behavior will be rewarded
Not able to open up using it against you
Manipulate others slander your character
One sided arguments better to walk away
Called delusional for being an individual
Sensitive for having an opinion
Speaking and standing up for myself
Things never change remaining the same
It's easier to keep a distant then get involved

They'll bad mouth you
Don't listen keep being better
Try to knock you down
Get back up go hard
Slander your name
Stay clear of their dirt
Saying it can't be done
You've already done it
Fighting to survive positive vibes
Not feeding egos by giving in
Crazy enough to stand alone
Come back for more no surrender
Family becomes strangers
Friends become foes
Learning to walk tall use to being alone

When you do what your suppose to do
Looking around worried hoping
Praying everyone is doing alright
Someone is always mad instead of thankful
Complaining instead of focusing on the blessings
Comparing life to another's just keep living
Everyone is struggling or going through something
You're not alone everyone is important
What you do to better the situation matters
Somethings you have no say or control over
Take on what you could handle one day at a time
Either you live in the moment or miss things
Trying to live up to others expectations
Everyone has a plan it might not happen right away
It might happen not accordingly keep doing the work
Keep growing and learning build a foundation
Appreciate supportive people let go of the toxic ones
Share memories and moments don't let anyone dull your shine

Some want to go back
Be fixed by what broke them
Live that moment where they felt whole
Even if that was lived short time
Fix things that go worse overtime
Or do nothing because trying didn't help
Mistaking lust for love minds confused
Hearts broken due to obsession
Heated romantic passion fades away
Places that brought joy are gone
Long lived memories from the past
Another  chance if that's possible
An opportunity to do things differently
Not there anymore reminiscing
Out grew that with time so much change

Two brothers, who don't get along
Never see eye to eye different lives
The good brother working his way through
The bad brother forces his ways
Trying to take over muscling others
One talked about everyone making drama
The other minded his mouth walked away
Crossing paths treating one another like strangers
Brothers should look out for each other not oppose go against one another

He stared at the mats knew it was home. The fear of getting an injured walking with a bummed knee. Stretching to feel right do better drilling. Making three points of contact, cupping to secure the submission. Breaking the guard with knee slicers.
Trying to get the technique down so it could work more effectively.
Gi vs No Gi two different worlds learning to be patient every action leads to a reaction. Bruised up from training sore and tender muscles.

Trying to find true love
Anxious for it been deceived before
Fell in love with her soul addicted
Her smile could make his day better
Not able to get enough once it ended
Couldn't get that fix
Expecting the person fix a tampered heart that's broken
Moving on was hard not using the new to get over the one
Once rushed trying to heal getting over one by getting under another
Took time alone got away reading and writing to get new perspective
Fell out of that world ventured in another

Staring in the mirror practicing each line
The monologs bouncing around in the back of the mind
Want to empower others not argue or fight
Couldn't share or have an opinion just writing it down
Use to show you love not wasting time anymore
Hearing the hate in your voice bringing everyone and everything down
Use to go out of my way couldn't take that pain anymore
Accepted the role as the black sheep
Walked away instead of being personal and deep
Don't wish that hatred on anyone
Not passing the torch took the burns
Let it end faded away doing something

Wrapping his fist taking breaths getting mentally prepped for the drills. Clearing his mind getting in the zone. Focused on foot work and throwing punches efficiently. Telling his older body to move his feet don't be flat footed. Be your best help your cousin prepare for his next fight.
Working hard to be prepared for this combat battle. Every strike must be precise. Landing kicks to chop down this opponent get inside and out keeping a distance. Punches that connect breaking away from the clench throwing strikes that cause the hands to drop then react in a strategic manner.

Woke up early for work it's dark and wet out because of the rain debating on showering. Being wet in the cold staying positive through this transition. Not a lead but willing to step it up to get the job done. Half the crew was out now the whole crew will function as unit, Hopefully.
Thinking what needs to be done and how to get it done in a timely efficient manner. A young team trying to live up to old rules and standards learning to manage yourself without supervision from elders.  Doing your part not going against one another everyone has strengths and weaknesses play them accordingly.

Wanting to be better on this team, hoping they rise up as well. Determined to be the wild card ready to fill roles take on all obstacles to get the job done. Thankful for the job and know what it's like to not have a job.
Being judged by family looked down on now striving towards more not settling for less. Proving foes wrong never said anything bad about them but word came back around they had nothing good to say. I respect their opinions that plays no role in changing others.

How much sacrifice till you made it? Long days of over time giving up a social life but wanting one as well. Thoughts of dating and a relationship. The fear of being cheated on while being at work. Her actions will blame you because you're taught to be a provider even though times have changed.
Trying to communicate but no one speaks back. Then blamed for it trying to plan work with everyone's schedule. If anyone is forgotten they made no effort to participate. Everyone complains but doesn't care since it's not important to them.
It Hurts to smell your mom reek of alcohol knowing something is wrong but not getting involved took them out for lunch not always available. Would like to be around being your own man and person is important. The love of family is strong but distant because that tough love doesn't make life easy.
Siblings are doing grown up stuff but not helping anyone. Finding reasons to talk about everyone because their life is inadequate. Everyone makes mistake and learning to deal with being wrong just part of the growth process. Not the same person anymore Everyone has a chance to move up and improve. Don't get mad if you're passed up keep doing the work.

They try to stone wall you not take accountability for their actions but quick to put you in the hot seat. Over those awkward silences no one is talking about them and quick to play the victim.
It's uncomfortable dealing with their bad attitudes they've cussed you out and act like they've been good to you or loyal. Usually the ones dragging your name through the mud to cover their ****. If they owned up instead of being disrespectful would make things easier. Said I was sorry and wrong from my side that's the pride keeping everyone divided.

After a while you don't care to prove especially while doing the work. Stopped caring going further and farther than everyone talking.
They didn't believe in you; think highly of you. Use to empower those people talking, not saying anything. Giving them a reason to talk that's all they do. Got tired of the criticism it's never right or good enough. I'm doing the work the one picking up the slack. You had their back while they turned on you trying to destroy your name because they have no say turning everyone against you being a negative vibe against all your good deeds.

Better to stay away those unsettling feelings returned
Use to think I coukd trust you
Going hard with that guilt trip
Expecting me to give up and let you win
Always had your back so much pain
Saying I love you after ruining things
Insulting others then adding just kidding
Acting like your world is better
Even though I use to be part of that
We use to date it failed part of fate
Everything I was denied you did
Went on without me never good enough
I'm wishing you the best no hard feelings
Ive been focused being better
Find someone to meet your high standards
What you need to be happy
What you're looking for in your quest
It's not me I'm not the one
We could never talk just argue
Doing some shady activities behind my back
Always picking a fight or trying to get me to confess something to justify your wrong doing
Accused of cheating but never alone being together felt smothering
She was watching me but never did anything
Being isolated from friends they don't like one another put in an awkward situation
Everyone leaves in the end another life in another place
Can't remember anymore so far away
Got sober reminder of blurry moments

Coming up everyone is against you
People always told him stuff
He remembered those words some taken to heart
It made him better some advice lingered
Working hard while others complained
Finally got hired others looked to retire
Might as well do the work till that moment comes
Being told it was a waste of time doing the work made him better
Dealing with a lead that would abuse his power
Doing his work once he transfered the truth would be exposed
Told he had a bad attitude for not agreeing
All those assumptions would be proved wrong
The old lead calling the new lead speaking slander
Trying to ruin this new opportunity
It made him more grateful and thankful
Not interested in being a lead but given the responsibilities
Thankful the higher ups trust and confident in his abilities

Never afraid to start over keep building on what you know. Keep striving for more not settling for less. We use to be close now we can't be together. I pray you don't turn out like your siblings or parents. Felt pushed out not forcing my way in not use anyone believing or standing by my side.
Wishing you the best not my place I have no say. Your parents came at me sour not arguing or taking the corruption anymore. The world changes the day you stand up for yourself.

Thankful for others concerns but don't agree with their perception of how they feel or think by mistaking my kindness as weakness. Talking about you to get a reaction make you look bad in front of people you value. Trying to make you devalue yourself lowering yourself to their level which is below your standards.
At one point you looked out for them and they came at you making you a target because they have nothing going or things are bad they set themselves up to fail and trying to bring you down with them.
Learning to say NO and not interested not following trends. Lost interest in crowd because they expect and take; it's never enough. More made up rules and standards that go in their favor. Leaving you feeling used and humiliated for trusting them thinking they actually valued you as a person.

Being able to escape the bad
Focused more on the good
Stopped letting family be discouraging
Asking what I want instead of giving in
Not giving up lost in learning
The bass guitar a connection to a grandpa that passed
Drawing use to stare at a blank page
Not thinking too much letting things flow
The creative process able to feel again
Moments at the track escaping home
Bettering your mind and body
Life's not bad being around toxic people
Made it easy to leave without looking back
Not involved anymore
The childhood trauma
Doesn't continue in adulthood

A Friday night as a teen going to the video store to get a movies and a game for Nintendo 64. An evening with the family then order pizza. Watching movies on vhs   that would later becoming DVD. Playing video games with friends and siblings. It got extremely competitive playing Golden Eye or Mario Kart. Video games use to be fun now a days it's a job to complete a mission.
Use to be confused when my dad would say it use to be better before. Trying to stay modern but everyone is asking what's next instead of making the most of things. Before the internet was an escape but now a days it's become a reality for some.
I remember calling people to make plans chat it up now a days people text and still don't connect so much miscommunication. How do you get to know a person if they won't open up or won't give you a chance because of the assumptions made. Trying to hold onto what is know but losing yourself to keep up.

Minding your business then boom blind sided by family
Climbing to get out of the struggle whole everyone has embraced it
Facing the world isn't enough
Feeling betrayed should've been expected
Would never do it to them like they did you
Avoiding people becomes more comforting
Getting hints not bending over backwards
They don't want you to lie
But don't wanna hear the truth
Seen them as a priority treated like an option
Seen them grow up stayed outta the way
Now they are their own person
Coming at you like you owe them
Let's be civil talk things out
Instead of holding a grudge

Claiming to love quick to move on
Picking fights expecting communication
Keeping Secrets been open and honest
Couldn't have female friends got jealous
Respected your feelings no regards for mine
But you could have male friends sneaking around
A guilty conscience projecting to justify wrong doing
Never made false promises honored words if spoken
Mouth saying one thing actions contradicting
Told to be a man take charge all credibility taken away
Fed up gave up walked away from this toxic love
Being called a narcissistic for not giving in
Trying to be open not have it used to be manipulated
Isolated trying to balance out a relationship and friendships
Everyone is gone faded away focused on being better
Got use to be alone doing everything not expecting much in return
Living on borrowed time making the most of things

Tackling old issues to be free to move onto new
Friend to foe a stranger dk you anymore
Worried about you call forwarded
An unanswered text so much suspense
Talk about getting together it's not health
Moved on mentally still having feelings
Denying myself feeling neglected
Going back thoughts of being disrespected
Being single thinking for one makes sense
In a couple feeling everything mindful
No say or control wild memories remain
Being with her means denying yourself
She's an act pretending to be someone else
Looking out for her keep her safe
While she's willing to let you take the blame doing evil deeds

Shunned by your best friend over a girl
You messed with her, he did as well
One was lust the other madly in love
She didn't belong to anyone
One thought he could make her the one
Old time flings ruining modern friends
Broken trust friends never more
A faded friendship from long ago
An apology that's never forgive
Trying to be normal come around
Feeling guilty ashamed living with pain
Everyone pursuing success got a taste
Greedy for more stepping on others
Failure became more common
Stuck on childhood trauma hard to grow
Wrestling with struggle survival skills
Always learning on another level
Old momentum not prepared for new
Doesn't help with new obstacles

Wanting to funny joking with others some will get mad or offended for the truth. Grew up around people talking smack and took it once you start talking back people lose their crap.
Always open and honest called blunt and ruthless with the truth. Grew up tough but able to find a funny moment through those dark times.
Always straight up because lies are hard to keep up with. Writing different ways to say it or how it could set a tone. It could be deep and dark or humble with some positive energy.

A quiet Christmas watching football
Writing lyrics practicing bass guitar
Missing family everything feels forced
We could see each other everyday
No holiday needed to comment
Claiming to be okay being disconnected
Keeping the peace with an internal struggle
No one can sorry its seen as weakness
Being able to forgive without terms and conditions
All the good is forgotten while the bad is held onto
No respect for others feelings but the most sensitive of them all
Don't say anything if you can't take it when people talk back
They are not waiting around to be judged or criticized by someone who's not helping
Wish we could sit under the tree open gifts but everyone talks like they are the head of the table No respect for parents
Stop holding a grudge against them you're an adult it's on you stop blaming them.

Another lonely holiday wishing family would get along
Someone is always mad running their mouth
Instead of being close everyone is divided
Can't ask for help or do favors everyone expects something in return
Trying to get something to hold over your head
Seeing a family member be two faced is sickening
Talking bad about a person behind their back being cool to their face
Telling others how to live not living up to false ideals
Practice what's being preached not the exception
Do more for yourself instead of expecting others to do it
Sister with a mouth expecting respect insulting others
A false leader acting like everyone owes and trying to collect
Wishing the family could get along
Share a meal not exclude a sibling due to unresolved issues
Talk to one another instead about each other
Boundaries are set being respectful
Doesn't get your way or change things
Trying to control others stop imposing
Take control over your life first
Stop thinking you know what's best for others
While your situation is not organized

The music flowing through the mind
Things that need to be said talked about
Feeling the energy and vibe the technique
Drilling hard treat it like the real thing
Wanting to move up committed
Keep working building up from practice
Pain cause by family calling you sensitive
Insulting your intelligence not being accountable
Trying to break your spirit not giving a chance to do so
Don't expect them to fix just destroy
Acting like the criticism did you a favor
Providing a strong argument with reason
Talking loud not listening being one sided
Shouting false narrative mostly lies
Doesn't make your opinion right

Loved family but not like them
Some can't be alone bad mouthing others
Always stuck on the wrong person
Why be with someone if they are not a match
If you don't like them why pretend to love
Some able to handle their own company
While others look for it in other beings
Hoping they'll be complete one another
Cheating with an ex claiming to move on
Some are dark and twisted playing victim
Getting caught up actions have consequences
It came back around full circle

Onto new seeing people from the past
Hoped they'd change remaining the same
Talking about everyone if its their right
Seeing through the act not falling for it
Staying away pick and choose liking you
Just because your big intimidate others
Doesn't mean you could beat everyone up
Cussing people out being a bully
Doesn't make you right or better
Being disrespectful because your mad
Doesn't get you respect people turn away
Saw you as an equal your power trip
Has you knocking stepping on people
Using people talking about others
Says more about you than the people you slander

Thick skin through these tough times, it's hard, but with time they get better. Work harder instead of being all up in the drama. Lazy employees telling you NO or it's never going to happen for you. Don't be discouraged believe in yourself when others make you feel worthless.
Making it seem like what you do doesn't matter or mean anything. Sometimes it's all you know helping you progress and grow.
Being strong and tough eventually wanting to break down shed some tears take moment to compose yourself then bounce back, keep building on what's given. Making the most of things thankful for all the blessings. Tired of facing family because everyone's ego and pride is more important than blood.

From that crazy world so much change
Living in the crazy new mindset
Trying to make sense of everything
Being normal health declining
Loved the church but they shut it down
Walking tall in faith God is great
Believing walking with grace
Telling the truth so much hate floating
Why do people accept lies as the truth
A whole new person once the mask is off
The act fades the personality runs thin
Always grateful to have a job earning it
Not struggling working hard the agenda
Found self love from being selfless
Giving it all expecting nothing in return
Standing alone doing what's right
Living by the moral code years of growth
Years of rejection feeding determination

Quick to attack get burnt out give them a chance to escape. You played with them before going for the ****. It was a trap giving them a chance from playing the victim to being the one making the ****. Never underestimate your opponent keep practicing training hard don't let them live free in your head causing distractions losing focus. Making you feel like it doesn't matter or mean anything. You've been doing it for some time it's become your life. Hours of training for a few minute fights a big event the time to shine put all the training to use. Making moves and moving up the next level.
The warrior within being a civil gentleman life was the big fight.
Dealing with a terrible lead who does nothing acting like he does everything. Loving the job working around lazy people moving up taking charge. A failed relationship an ex that claims to have moved on still taking cheap shots. His family another obstacle instead of having your back being supportive.
Not talking just doing the work fading our of the drama so many rigged arguments that are pointless. Taking the blame standing for a lost cause. Walking away because the lessons could lead to more or leave you confused wonder *** happened?

Listening to hits the music lost in the vibe
Feeling the bass empowered by the lyrics
Taking you away from the complicated reality
Makes more sense than others drama
Causing a smile remember a better time
Certain people come to mind another time
Watching people change the music is forever vibing alive surviving

Just because we are related doesn't mean you know me. You dk my my story or what I've done. Just because you talk over me doesn't make you right. Don't tell me how to live my life when you used and stepped on people to get where your at. Minding my mouth and business not fighting to stay or arguing to be heard.

Sad how you twist and turn the narrative acting like you've done no wrong pointing the blaming judging everyone. Trying to turn the family against you thinking you're superior in the end your mouth will double cross everyone you care more about being right than what you do to others. Knocking everyone instead of being open minded

Sometimes people have nothing on you so they act your image because they can't win or get their way. All you could do is ignore them the more they talk they'll dig their grave and get caught up. It's easier to walk away they'll try to tarnish your image but it's a reflection of theirs that they are projecting on you.
Seeing them mistreat others it was only a matter of time till they fling their bad vibes your way. Not wasting time or energy on them focused on work and better skills with practice. Using energy in a positive way instead of lowering yourself to be liked seeking approval of others. Their views have no say or control on how you live your life so make the most of things.

It felt like the world was against you some alway mad or hating trying to take you down. Once you stop comparing and blaming your self the weight of the world shifts away. Trying to make miserable people happy stealing your joy because they are never satisfied. Doing your own thing what you love what makes you happy.
After the heartache of thinking highly of others that don't value or respect you. Seeing the best in them as they project the worse on you. Breaking away is the best feeling doing it for yourself without criticism or negative nagging in your ear. Missing certain people but if they aren't good you don't need them bringing you down.

Being called delusional for having a dream that doesn't evolve around you.
Being called a narcissistic for not giving up values and ones self
Had bad leads did  their work it made me better
Dealt with good leads that are supportive Gaining more confidence
Stepping it up filling the void since it needs to done
Doing the work even if others are not satisfied show up, help don't just criticize
Thankful for growing qnd

We all have that friend who's a total tool bag when he would drink. Everyone is thankful he got sober. Most people are forgiving because that person made an effort to change.
This person talks like he's righteous making it seem like he was loyal to everyone during his dark times he used and stepped on people to get what he wanted for his own selfish gain.
This guy was easily forgiven never saying sorry while others beg for an apology and never forgiven a second chance. What's annoying is how quick these wrong doers say what others have done instead of admitting what they've done wrong. Trying to remain on a high horse instead of doing the right thing.
Cutting off people with hidden agendas dealing with that has been rough. They'll prosecute others but when it's them it's justified a debate talking their way out of it instead of owning up

The first kiss was charged while it became emotionless over time. She was continually angry never happy or satisfied. He did his thing it was seen as the worse but when she did her stuff it was pardoned everyone expected to turn a blind eye. He remained loyal she drove him crazy because she couldn't get her way.
He was use to no and never got his way. She'd try to manipulate everything in her favor even if it meant destroying everything around her. Things never made sense not able to grasp her concepts. She would tear his world down trying to change him

He liked her but didn't feel worthy. It was what he wanted but it didn't feel right. Everything felt rushed or unresolved forced made out to be something it wasn't.  Scared to lose her but he never had her.
She was with someone else and he watched her from a distant. A friend with a crush becoming a distant stranger. From hearing her complain about her relationship to an awkward silence. It was a done deal he didn't know how to fix it or make things right a lost cause.
He let go walked away feeling like he left part of himself behind. It he waited around he'd feel dead inside hating himself more. Never had a chance or made a move he felt the vibe there was chemistry he wanted to believe but there was always a roadblock or conflict of interest that kept them apart.

These moments felt so good but it's time to let go. Live stop living in the past a flashback fades. Memories forgotten and blocked out not there anymore. Fighting to be hear earning respect trying to do good while everyone does bad.
He wanted to do right while being prosecuted by everyone because he wasn't involved in the drama.
He loved his family they are grown men everyone too proud to ask for help if you say NO they are quick to talk bad about you. Gave advice no one listened their way is the only way rather than trust in God's way and God's plan.
What he loved didn't love him back no longer wanting to be part of the world that wronged him. He showed everyone love and respect even though they are going through stuff. Stood his ground didn't give up on himself to be accepted.

Why can't we talk be friends like the old days. We act like strangers like we don't know one another. Where did it go wrong hard to make sense of it all. Taking blame with no reason or closure seeking inner peace. The term oil within burning hot scorching within. Not wanting to replace people but quick to be replayed on their end. Saying sorry never forgiven trying to make things right. Felt like things got worse.
Walking away seen as the bad guy in their story meaning well things taken out of context. Running with all the lies instead of fighting to prove them wrong. People he seen as friends betrayed his trust. He respected them as they treated him as a joke. He lived life trying not to fall into a routine

He loved her but they could never be together there was someone else. He admired her most of all respected her even though she ended up with the wrong guy. She was getting played cheated on but fighting to make it work.
Once she got in a relationship, she gave up on their friendship.
He was there through the tough times he'd learn that his chapter was over in his life forgotten left in the past. They'd cross paths from friends to complete strangers. Both doing their own thing the future divided them. Desired different things instead of each other.