It ***** we don't talk anymore
We use to be close really good friend
Holding a grudge divided us
Things were said misunderstood
An apology not accepted
Forgiveness is wanted but not given
Friendships ends over ego and pride
Relationships destroyed in a power struggle
One lives a lie while being angered by the truth

Closer to the transplant
Did all the test for California
Now going to take more exams in Arizona
Waiting for a liver could take weeks possibly months
Almost a year ago it started
A doctor appointment for a check up
Finding out with high enzyme levels
Being diagnosed with cirrhosis
A phone call from a doctor with no bed side manners
You're sick we need to figure out
What wrong with you
You have cirrhosis or cancer
Thankful it was cirrhosis over cancer
The less of two evils trying to get healthy

Life is a blessing with growth
Change your mindset new perspective
Leave old ideas behind open to new
Emotional bankrupt bad investments
Feelings burglarized by imposters
True colors shined through
Causing friendships to fade away
Failed relationship to shattered dreams
Hit rock bottom a steady foundation
Buried by family slanderous talk
Hurts the most still love them
Still living life to the fullest
Made up rules in their favor
Once you spoke up or disagreed
They tried to make others hate you
Trying excommunicate your existence

Against the world keep your head up
Not always like or a favorite
Taking on the world it's not worth it
Easier to walk away from the chaos
Than being part of the insanity caused
Some like to argue don't say anything
Talk about you for being different
No one is talking about them
Be the one talked about not talking
A good head on your shoulders
A heart fuelled by hope and grace
Be useful instead of useless
Spiritual growth with positive energy

Protect your family at means
Neglecting your own needs
Doing it for them working harder
Staying strong with support
Being positive through though times
At work hustling to provide
Be someone do good treat others right
Be better help others do good deeds
Staying sober is an apology a new life
Drinking never forgiven old ideas
An old life in the past let it be forgotten
A new life in the present new memories

You create a new way of doing things
It clashes with the old way of life
Far from the past, but it's well known
Scared of the future unknown territory
Not knowing what's next, a clear mind
Afraid to fail one-shot opportunity
Holding onto what's left is a fight
Lost so much overtime, never again
Old friends fade away, memories
Scared to start over somewhere new
Not sure where to start anymore
Bounced back many times before
Faced those fears inflated with hype
Taking on maniputive egos
Toxic mouths continue to run
Eventually, signing a death wish

Trying to live life to the fullest
Rise above health issues
Work with what's given
Make the most of things
Years of flirting with death
Staying alive gave it to God
Facing fears by writing it down
Might look quiet thoughts processing
This mind is loud asking why
Questioning overanalyzing every moment
Observing actions over words
If one thing could fix everything
Called delusional for having an opinion
Being myself without compromise called a narcissist
Told the truth relieving the most hate
Telling stories trying to connect
Confessions not always forgiven

Somedays you win
Take a beating, love to fight
The victory short-lived
Asking what's next mental stimulation
Looking for a challenge
Never accept defeat out
Sometimes, you lose focus
Gain experience open to learn
Life has plenty of lessons
Focused on the blessings
Live in the moment be present
Don't be consumed by the past

Be determined against the odds
Believe in yourself when no one does
Keep growing and gain experience
Got health issues, not *******
Plowing through finish strong
While being discriminated against
Minding this mouth loud thoughts
Keeping the peace being singled out
No longer involved fading away
Speaking causes trouble
Minding my business

Taking risks and lost it all
Still crazy enough to come back
Can't get enough wanting more
Haters don't try and hate on you
Doing nothing expecting something
Put in the time to earn your place
Another mad face in the way
No time for drama it's pay day
Worked for mine earned every cent
Taking credit for work not done
makes no sense always on offense
Liars defensive scam and planning
Working to win focused on greatness
Tired of all cheaters piggybacking
Never accepted by family standards
Only rejected by made-up rules
Being myself not what someone said
Winning even when narrative is false
Twisted words fueled by manipulation
Trying to infect others' perspectives
Traditions not in your best interest
Pushing limits rising up a level
Being restricted feeling stuck
It's hard to move, not able to breathe

Not always the good guy
Only one side of the story is being told
Never said anything bad
While others project false beliefs
Spoke up against imposed ideals
Excluded for having an opinion
Allowed to disagree have differences
Not a yes man speaking on one's self
Friends fade grow a part over time
Due to conflict of interest
Family should love you more
Since  they can't compromise
Trying to slander your name
Make relatives think less of you
One voice means nothing alone
Use the masses to gain power
The power trip causes the downfall
Comfortable being disrespectful
Eventually, toxic takes down the mass
The truth remains overpowering lies
While the manipulator is exposed

Fighting till the end
Taking on everything
Not backing down from anyone
What goes around comes around
Stayed quiet, arguing with myself
If I said you'd make it personal
Trying to destroy for having an opinion
Erase me for everything
Use to being ignored by family
AA really messes with my mental health
They want you to explain and then use it against you
I'm over counseling. I'm trying to help myself
You want to be safe, but being vulnerable

Some days are easy working for it
While others are hard barely getting by
Trying to be strong for family
Keep trucking for peers a team player
Giving your everything possible
Feels like it's not enough exhausted
Eating right, struggling with energy
Feeling more energized taking risks
From one of the guys doing your part
Doing what needs to be done
Working hard to become the guy
Want to be able to be normal
This health condition is not an excuse
Over doctors' appointments never ending
Giving blood scans and tests
Mental health draining talking about it
Feeling restless pulled in many directions

Not always the good guy
Only one side of the story is being told
Never said anything bad
While others project false beliefs
Spoke up against imposed ideals
Excluded for having an opinion
Allowed to disagree have differences
Not a yes man speaking on one's self
Friends fade grow a part over time
Due to conflict of interest
Family should love you more
Since  they can't compromise
Trying to slander your name
Make relatives think less of you
One voice means nothing alone
Use the masses to gain power
The power trip causes the downfall
Comfortable being disrespectful
Eventually, toxic takes down the mass
The truth remains overpowering lies
While the manipulator is exposed

Some days are easy working for it
While others are hard barely getting by
Trying to be strong for family
Keep trucking for peers a team player
Giving your everything possible
Feels like it's not enough exhausted
Eating right, struggling with energy
Feeling more energized taking risks
From one of the guys doing your part
Doing what needs to be done
Working hard to become the guy
Want to be able to be normal
This health condition is not an excuse
Over doctors' appointments never ending
Giving blood scans and tests
Mental health draining talking about it
Feeling restless pulled in many directions

Changed over the years
Some stuck in the past
College life was a daze
Adult life always working
Working hard for insurance
Facing new obstacles that out
Leading to new opportunities
Eating certain foods cirrhosis *****
Life has changed liver disease
Praying for the better
A healthy love life for once
Not being around toxic people
Learning bass growing the skill
Can't remain the same

What is normal?
Parents with bad habits tough love
Siblings growing up opposing another
When things are weird on my end
Be in a healthy relationship for once
Not be with someone controlling
Who tries to change everything
Or fixed to be passed off
Be able to open up and feel safe
Without words being twisted
That's why I write to express emotions
Able to have a voice with feelings
Instead of fighting for a spot to belong
Love family, but words cut deep

Always saying sorry for everything
Some hold on to everything
Could never let it go
Never forgetting the past
Holding you at arms length
For telling the truth, being honest
Having your own ideas opinions
Someone is always mad
Telling others to change bad habits
Never want to change remain the same
Stuck in their ways addicted to old feelings
Trying to relive old emotions
Moments that passed were not there anymore
Growing for new moments
Scared to start a new beginning
No going back to relive the past
Everyone is going through something
Some in the wrong justifying it as right
The silent treatment has loud mental consequences
Wanting to speak out holding it all in

Things don't happen right away
Overcome many obstacles
Those little victories fuel the fire
Light the fire within personal growth
Empowered to become more
Inspired by greatness moving up
Leads to major gains victories
Rise above all the hate and pain
It's easier to let go of looping thoughts
Then, hold onto deep down rage
Focus on those blessings
Praying for others to heal and forgive
Keep working towards the dream

Feeling alright every day is a fight
Things get easier the more I write
Too old to be arguing, got things to do
Don't need to talk focused on work
Not dealing with one-sided mindsets
Trying to be me hard for others to see
Let me be back to the basics
Stopped worrying things got easier
Working for insurance, staying strong
Thoughts flowing need to grind
Don't care to explain myself
Would rather write feeling like me
Makes it easier to sleep at night
Facing fears feeling overwhelmed
Breaking down all the hype created

Outside practicing the bass guitar
Wanting to play a gig feel the vibe
The Adrenaline rush feeling alive
Trying to get better writing lyrics
Share your stories with the world
Past experiences explored for entertainment
Weird people encountered on this  journey
Many awkward social interactions overtime some might connect and understand
While most will reject without agreeing
Allowed to disagree have your own opinion
Maintaining love showing respect
Talking without hatred being bias

Holding on to the old life
It was all that was known
Letting go of the old life
There's no going back
Live with soul it starts to show
Life goes forward changed over time
Broke free from bad vibes feeling alive
No longer connected to toxic behavior
"It will comeback to them"
Is what I keep telling myself
Minding this mouth being silent
Keeping to myself  avoiding fools
Doing my own thing appreciating life
Most of all minding my business
Failed attempts lead to something better
Gave up on a relationship lost all value
Not good enough no value over the pain
Focused on gains moving up in private
Working in secret being behind the scene

Read the Bible felt empowered
Recharged playing with the bass guitar
Writing to get this mind sharp
Keep focused on work need to keep busy
Paying medical bills invested in health
Hustling for insurance get out of debt
Stay above water learning to float
Surviving the chaos of the storm
Bobbing for air to stay alive
Not drown sink to the bottom
Trying to be normal without judgement
Always asking about my health
Older tired and slowing down
Others worried it's not helping
This health condition not an excuse
Doesn't help feeling medically discriminated

Walked away from emotion hurt
Tired of carrying the physical pain
Growing spiritually healed with hope
Proving it to myself no one else
Someone is always talking noise
The voices are loud missing silence
Instead of trying to be more
Becoming a mental distraction
Not feeding those starved egos
Refuse to empowered false pride
Out grew the old life letting go moving on
Embracing the new not looking back
Writing to feel able share from within
Let the flow go from the heart
Loving the personal growth
Words from a passionate soul

Forgive give the heart peace
Move away grow on your own
They made their decisions
While you still have choices
All the voices go silent
Able to breathe feeling free
Rise above the bad
Better than being mad
Cuts are deep mentally
Sharp with a clear mind
Spiritually free emotionally
Good vibes from the heart
Space and time to heal physically
The change for better begins to show

Why are people like that?
They bad mouth when you match their tone quick to play the victim
Eating your food they have no money to buy their own
Quick to make you out to be the bad guy for standing your ground
Trying to make everyone hate you because they didn't get their way
Thinking its okay to disrespect you
They insult you once you speak the truth on them quick to get defensive
Everyone takes their word once you speak it becomes a debate or justified
This game got old not playing it anymore walked away to stay sane
Keeping mental peace over all the manipulation

Choices made to get rid of the pain
Cutting off those, who judge you
Disrespectful criticism not able to speak back
Having an opinion seen as the enemy
Pursuing a dream while they never tried
On a high horse looking down on everyone
Material possessions doesn't make you better
Respecting people staying humble is admirable
You can't buy respect it's earned everyday
All the change is for the better growing strong

Wrestling thoughts going crazy
Adrenaline rush turns to burn out
Flirted with wild ideas felt the rush
Rubbed the wrong way facing fear
Things got sour over the years
Doing more instead of saying
Rewarded more accomplishment

Got a rejection letter that hurt like hell
Got an acceptance letter life was just beginning
Dated the dream girl who was a nightmare
Rejected by the nightmare gutted by life
Got hired gave it everything and more
Now fired never to return feeling burned
Met some good people true colors seen proved wrong
Never talked about anyone staying away
Slander spoken by everyone avoiding drama
A mindful mouth dealing with deceit
Not involved astuck in the middle
Instead of hating on others life
Do what makes you happy better yourself

Hard to write when the page won't load
Working hard starting to feel burnt out
Wanting to live life feels closer to death
Been a long week with aome long days
Feeling in a daze working for insurance
Saving up while getting paid for long days
On the outside looking in working harder
Trying not to be annoyed certain people to avoid
******* one's self being the worse most harsh critic
Wanting to more but coming up short
Feeling like a failure so much to be thankful for
Focused on the blessings not what's missing
A dream put on hold after being denied

The inner term oil burned out
Not writing from anger and frustration
Focused on health instead of taking on the bitterness of the world
People that don't value you, or your opinion
Avoiding toxic environments
Not going back to uncomfortable place
Forgetting those that violated trust
Broken down boundaries
Trust and respect no longer exist
Moving away from things that hurt
Not reliving old pain in fading memories
Cut the lust focused on something real
Love within grows strong as hate goes away

Reflecting on the years
Overcome pain and fears
Those tough times left behind
From loving the wrong girl
To doing what's right
Broke to working overtime
Thankful for the chance
Making the most of opportunities
Got chopped down build back up
Don't like being to how to act
Walked away from disrespect
Hurt like hell but don't need the hate
Learned to take criticism
Being corrected to be better works
Walked away from the negative

They left you broken
But it made you strong
Not holding a grudge goes no where
Moved on not living in the past
Embraced the present new encounters
Breaking free from toxic relationships
Negative family members severed ties
Being positive doing good things
Being the solution making a difference
Over the cycling zestpool lifestyle
Not about that life out grew the box

Sometimes you have to cut ties
You get tired of lies and stories
They have no respect for you
If they could lie to your face
Trying to BS their way through
Rather than work hard to earn it
Don't borrow money or say you will
If you can pay your debt
Eventually your words mean nothing
Holding no value a lost cause
Stop wasting others time
Trying to make manipulate others
With a bias agenda an evil demeanor
Fueled by hate and anger the ugly side
Not empowering the insanity
Or feeding into passive selective hearing
Not playing those mindgames walked away
Silence is strong focused on being better
Where the weak are loud in protest
Trying to make a camp of followers
To hate a person for having an opinion and being different

Said sorry never forgiven
Gave you space and prayed
You'd forgive me I made a mistake
Didn't know it would be the last time
The last time we'd see one another
Heard about your death on the news
A horrible bus accident that took many
You had many things going on
I was happy for you wishing you the best
A good friend I will remember in my heart
Thought of reaching out regretting not trying
Change was hard letting go adapting
Sometimes your mind wants it one way
Had a vision with a different outcome

Always told the truth called ruthless
Hated for honesty while others lie
Loyal to all the wrong people
Seen their true colors had to cut ties
Sending love rejecting  hate by toxic ppl
She cheated trying to blame
Instead of owning up its over now
Once cared not taking the manipulation
Moving forward with life not back
Investing in the future not drugs, and alcohol
Working to help family not steal by use people
Over the false promises empty comments
Over the two-faced attitude ****** remarks
When you don't get your way

Tired of arguing with family
Why can't we get along
Stop holding grudges
Why is it hard to say sorry
Why can't it be easy to forgive
Holding a grudge is easier
An excuse to be bias made a target
Justify the bad behavior doing wrong
All the misconduct needs to stop
Alienated for being different
One opinion doesn't matter
Trying to influence others perspective
Making allies against a common enemy
Taking a breath composing yourself older
Some never change remaining the same
Forgiving is easier than holding a grudging
Letting go instead of holding onto the bad
An open mind in a world of negativity
Staying loyal and true to family even through the dark times

Just because we are family
You can't tell me
How to live my life
I've grown taken risks
You did things played it safe
I'm working for mine
I respect you had a family
Respect my decisions to pursue a career
I respect who you chose to be
Stay home be a mom that works for you
I might've detoured doing what I love
I'm pursuing my passions
Always writing telling my stories
My side of the story the truth
We are different people different lives
You can't pick or chose to be in my life
Commit fully or don't waste my time
That's all I ask always outta place
Trying to fit in when I should belong
Not just be in the background ignored

The sneaky couple fake to your face
Talks about everyone behind their back
Giving an opinion no one asked
Talking down on others they've  done worse
Complaining about people living life
Doing the same thing all the criticism
So why is this an issue all the double standards
Insulting people expecting take it with a grain of salt
Call them on their actions
No wrong was done just imposition
Bad behavior quick to debate
Making the misconduct right
Justify the wrong doing still in the wrong

Dried tears lead to strength
A broken heart heals with love
Falling doesn't matter get back up
Being told NO still doing the work
Working harder than the rest
Proving them wrong standing alone
Fighting to fit in still don't belong
Easier to walk away than force things
Would rather be an individual
Never been a follower keeping distant
An outcast looking in avoiding drama
A trail blazer on a lonely path
Thought highly of those oppressors
Never wanted to be like them
Placed in a box to their liking
Loved for staying silent dieing inside
Hated for speaking up having an opinion
It will comeback for the slanderous talk

All the tears all the pain
Trying to live be normal
Working with complications
Trying to balance out the sanity
Striving through only if others knew
Some so cruel making it hard
Others evil that's their truth
Trying not to fail your supporters
Not fail yourself dealing with intensity
Writing to feel praying it gets better
Express these hard words to speak
Staying positive about the situation
While things are at their worse
Being the love that was neglected
Supporting those who feel alone
Praying for those dealing with mental torment

On the road on the Go
Who know what was ahead
The team took an L
At their best raising hell
From the bottom to the top
Win or lose going all in
All the rage in and outta the cage
Win together bonding
Lose together growing united
Support for one another
Picking each other up
Striving towards greatness
Working hard to be a legend
Determined to be icon status

Working harder than the rest aiming to be one of the best not like the rest.
Chasing a dream in the heart it means everything
The mind sees things differently, it's not about the destination focus on the journey
Watching this world change with age. From private to everything being exposed no more secrets or behind the scenes
The mystery behind the art is gone no suspense just more given content

A cheater who acted innocent
Love was never enough
Playing with others emotions
Lust mistaken for love
Thoughts a long term relationship
Leading to marriage much more
A one night stand with lustful confusion
Always truthful given lies
Going crazy can't make sense of it all
Wanting a second chance to start over
There's no going back or do overs
A one sided love with no pair

He wondered being creative
What moment of his life
He could put on the page
Possibly turn it into a scene
It loops in the back of his mind
His wild imagination off the charts
Trying to keep it simple
Not aware of his audience
Older use to being alone
Appreciating the art of story telling
Straight to the point is easy
Too much detail could be wordy
Over thinking tone possibilities

Seeing the world through yellow eyes
Losing weight too rapid
Not losing faith staying strong
Trying to remain in control
Losing a grip on reality
Things went bad but better now
Skin looking orange remaining humble
All the things you want to do
Before it's too late fighting till the end
Don't let others dictate your fate
Analyzed every scenario possible
Doesn't matter just be in the moment
Doing it makes possibilities
Take a risk and chance on yourself
With or without support chase the dream
Keep progressing the heart filled with joy
Don't let it become cold as stone
A free thinker not imprisoned by old traditions
Modern day ideals are road block
Will not corrupt your genuineness

Learning one way
Open to other ways
New school vs old school
Grew up with tough love
Learning to show love
Express emotions show emotions
Without doubt or regret
Being cozy in one's skin
Leaving old structure
Finding new structure
Unlearning bad habits
And relearning skills
Be open to change to grow
Personal growth matter

Some people make it but don't want you passing them up
You keep working and grinding in silence
Learning everything willing to grow
Helping others to keep things productive
While others neglect to keep job security
Some set the bar others break them
Some provide a print out others have to build off that
Sometimes it's easy others get close
Some stay stuck too prideful too ask
Success is measured differently
Others get by without doing the work
Some do the work making it easier

Waking up having a sip of coffee
Trying to stay warm in the cold
Thinking what's next to start the day
Mentally preparing for things to come
Staring at a blank page soon filled thoughts
Acting normal whatever that means
Praying things wouldn't be so complicated
Thankful for everything and everyone
It was a battle to get there
Taking on an ego with a bs job title
A boss with no respect for others
Due to a docotors degree
Felt connected then everyone transformed
Soon did the same onto new and better
Working to fit into a better place

Without arguing everyone managed to get along. Everyone is going through something some listen others dk how to express their frustration taking it out on Everyone. Some love to argue others don't do well with confrontation. Trying ro make the most of it all. Everyday is a struggle some handle it better than others. Some just never own up and blame others for their bad decisions.

Walking away is easier when the person doesn't listen and made up their mind. Talking bad and trying to influence others trying to justify the misconduct know well what they are trying to do.
Sad times don't last focus on the good because things get better.

Sometimes disconnecting recharging from things that drain your energy is the best move. Loving people even though we don't agree or see eye to eye.