Worried about everyone stressing
Trying to stay calm not over react
Stay invested instead of shutting down
Playing off others wasting time
All in for the win giving everything
All the change in a fit of rage
Final chapter shut the book
Open a new book emotionally invested
The beginning drags the middle gets engaging
End is near coming to conclusions
Hard to take it all in expecting more getting less
Lost interest more involved ready to leave

Spewing off toxic vibes
Seeing out anxiety
Wanting to be there
But need to get away
Not feeling great
0 to 100 with this mood
Happy thoughts feeling upbeat
Mad for no reason sparky remarks
Ready to fight for no reason
Imploding within to not hurt others
Self destruction resistanting temptation
Being around feeling like crap
Not around wanting to be there
Fear of messing up not going back
All the pain is normal become immune
Stayed with love burnt out over the hate

Feels like something is wrong
Haven't done anything extreme
A pause for the cause diverse emotions
Trying to relax recover from the stress
Bring good vibes wrestling with bad thoughts
Did the work scared to come up short
Made the wrong right crippled feelings
Fearing a negative outcome
Taking on more overwhelming frustration
Riding out most of the struggle
Protecting others from crazy
Those blindsides are the worse
Unexpected feeling rejected
Remained loyal disrespect

Trying to do what's right
Guilty conscience an internal fight
Doing missing out an unsettling feeling
The judgement and hatred from others
Mind stirring up conflict intense
Messing up trying to show up
Feeling out place refusing to beg
Uncomfortable ready to be destroyed
Called out gutted for dealing with

Easy to dominate work
Learn to take a time out
Analyze the situation
Read others so many factors
Different angles and perspectives
Learning to be family not let them down
They don't need to be mad at me
I'm already ******* myself
Use to being judged by others
People think less for being different
Now you give them a reason to do so

Always letting someone down
My honesty offends not one to lie
I'm not one to ask or bother others
I always think people don't like who I am
Not always liked or a favorite
Not looking for approval
Don't care to be liked I've learned to do it yourself
Learn as much possible so you don't have to wait or rely on anyone
Not one ro run but go where I'm accepted
Moral code can cause conflict with feelings
Emotions and feelings out of wack

Did the work came up short
Need to come up with a new game plan
Too much on the mind
Pent up frustration so much confusion
Fear of the unknown trying to grow
Change isn't always for the better
Coming up short working harder
Working smarter lots of talk
Should be listening to one voice
Lost in faith not running from hate
Another debate make sense of it all
Show too much emotions worked up
Going numb not able to express feelings
Burning up from within

Writing helps taking a time out
Trying to stay focused be sharp
While this temper is being provoked
Avoiding the distraction
Trying not to affect others
Always arguing would rather be writing
Struggling with others egos and pride
Doing what's right not one to run
Sick of all the drama too many talk
Dealing with two faced people

Find faith over all the hate
Positive living over all the negativity
People make choices and upset their rep is shadowing
Sometimes you can prove them wrong
But choose to live up to that hype
All the judgement cast on others comes back to you
Total opposites classing one chooses to work and do everything possible
The other with a title doesn't make anything a priority
Getting ******* over not bothering with taking on the burdens anymore
Never cared for the social politics focused on the work

Running to first base and pulled a hammy
Played strong pitched getting outs
Caught pop flies and pegged a player
Kickball to give the team a chance
Usually get creamed playing softball
The inner athlete wants out
Mind filled youthful thoughts
An aching body with limits
Holds the breaks no hate focused on doing great things

He admired her she was a workaholic he was too. Digging down deep to fins the stones to ask her out. The idea of them made him smile but was terrible at relationship. He didn't want to get hurt or hurt her. He grew up with family that was not fond of interracial relationships. Her mocha skin and colored eyes had him in a daze.
The life he dreamed of never turned out accordingly. Focused on trying to be himself. Everyone expected too much and trying to figure out what he wants out of life. Loved others but had a hard time loving himself a struggle within that burned from the inside out.

Staying motivated no one seems to care
Seeing opportunities others gave up
Slowing down getting burnt out
Trying to lead by example by doing
Stepping it up Not backing down
Body bruised feeling sore trying to relax
Dealing with change is hard
Things can get better or worse
Just focused on the work
Motivated to move not learning anything
Done everything looking for a challenge

Playing kick ball body still aches
Mind feels young but the body reacts
Being able to open up is new
Speaking up and being heard is new
Working hard and appreciated took time
A whole new experience growth
Compared to jobs that don't care use you
Usually professional doing the work
Not focused on drama or distracted by outside factors

Growing everyday seeking purpose
Mind hungers for knowledge
Being able to apply what's being taught
Usually isolated and alone
Anxious to be stimulated by others
Being social but always feeling too wordy
Honesty that ****** people off
Straight forward to the point
Learned to consider outside factors
Read the room the persons body language
Somethings can't be said or talked about
Music to express those thoughts some words are hard to find

Not one to get attached people come and go like the seasons. Before disappear with reason. Not fond of change but have become immune. Let go because you'd like to see your friends happy and grow. The chapter story comes to an end. Close the old book a new series to read take in

Kept telling the truth people got mad
Instead of telling me told everyone else
Times have changes got much worse
Not going back to those old ways
Old tradition didn't agree but respected
New ways accepted so much disrespect
Parents don't parent raise your kids
Competing for love among siblings
Trying to better yourself

Always keeping me from arguing
Preventing emotions from getting out
No time to process these feelings
Dealing with idiots and deep regret
People talk bad getting crazy
Once I do the same they are mad
The BS doesn't phase another craze
Lost in haze of recovery healing right
Writing to stay sane and maintain
Meditation helps cope with this pain
Hated for speaking up having an opinion
Called them out not absorbing the doubt

Dealing with my elder
Much love and respect for them
Once you move up feeling held back
Rather than be happy hate on all efforts
Trying to move up in survival mode
Now suppose to support the family
first job success abuse fathers ego
Tried to work with family but the expectation was too high
Gave your all it was never enough
Dealing with older people that act like children
Some know better, chose not to do so
Trying to be a child forced to be an adult
Now a adult learning to maintain
Emotional frustration enraged
Physical exhausted engulfed by pain

Easy to move because of drama
After a while you stand your ground
You did the work put in the time
Do your part and go home
Can't please everyone
Not always going to be right
Make a fee mistakes lost in the work
Learning to express emotions other than write
Deal with those unsettling feelings
The path has cleared over time
Going through the untamed brush
People come and go with the season
Some have reasons like family and health
Promotions onto better careers
Retirement years of hard work to rest
Some are a key factor and hard to let go
While others its time please go
Some are not growing while others settle

Living secrets holding on to burden
That have nothing to do with you
Cheater expects you to lie
Liar expects you to keep secrets
Pushed out not going back
Truth comes out not worried
Holding back internal screaming
Seen the front more to the fakes
Pretending to be someone else
A broken home outta the house

There are times when turning away to keep the peace goes wrong
The internal struggle
Talking and being ignored
Looking for permission
Doing the work right
Another fight in the mind
Anger and rage blinded
Everything such a blur
Keep fighting with scenarios
Keep on writing to calm down
Did wrong trying to make it wrong
Been hurt too many times
Hard to trust after so much betrayal

Dealing with my elders I
I respect their way of life
But don't **** on my way
I appreciate you looking out
I'm trying to be my own man
My own person I learned who not to be
Wish I had more positive influences
Doing something no one tried
While everyone sticks to the routine
Breaking old habits being better
Trying to not be consumed
By failed family traditions
Haters talk bad always up to no good
Trying to maintain not back in the hood
Over coming physical pain
Heal from the emotional trauma
Expressing concerns seen as issues
Trying to get answers from the wrong ppl
Trying to grow mentally develop personality
Same Haters try to cut down the process
Too much or not enough grew up to be tough

The deciet creates doubt
Questioning the judgement
On who to trust character mistaken
Not able to read the person
Thought one way acted another
Writing down these feelings
Hard to understand express
Not sure what to do with them
A clear mind Not be distracted
Blinded by detail noticing things
Trying not to obsess over the flaw
Focused on what was right

Back at it again holding pads
Went fishing doing all the things
I said had my life on hold due to health
Work was an escape to be distracted
Taking in the scenery the world intriguing
Smiled because things happen
Did what others said couldn't be done
Being extra and do more is rewarding
Strong in faith no time for hate
Trying to see and do it surp of the moment
Sometimes it better than imagine
Other times it's a work in progress
Before money was a limiting issue
Now time is a factor learning to manage better
Finding balance for everythingin life Neglecting things that matter saving up
Making things seem important
Getting less in return feeling cheated
You can change but some remain the same

Sometimes is normal but shouldn't be
You respect it but disagree breaking free
Changing the old way make it better
Losing yourself in the process
Adding some ***** to the persona
Being yourself and caring more than most
A good guy turned seen as a heel
Asking questions trying to understand
Having an opinion standing on moral ground

Pondering ideas letting them go
Asking why can't that be me?
Does it matter does anyone care?
The to do list grew and full
Started seeing it and making it a reality
Make it fun heart all in or nothing
Trying to make something outta nothing
Sharing fun stories to make people laugh
Storytelling getting lost in the moment
Reliving the story from the past
Triggering old emotions and feelings

Hard to move on something new
Looking back is the worse
Anxious to go back to what was known
Time apart dealing with the pain
Able to move on and grow
Coping with emotions that are pent up
Feelings overwhelmed not going numb
Broken heart emploding within
Failed love drank some ***
Feeling like a **** over this loss
Moving on to new something fresh
Healing from transplant surgery
Speeding through to recovery
Old friends in the heart like family
Memories and thoughts looping
Collected to escape tragic loathing
New ones easier to depart from m
More lessons gained  from a loss
Wins and victories lived for a short time
Onto the next causing more struggle
Not sure what to do next clear the mind
Wandering such a process to de-stress

The people that hurt you
Made you stronger head up
Protect your heart stay truthful
All the betrayal ended it all
Kept you loyal to yourself
Tears wiped away healing
The emotionless cold stare
Recovery is a processes
Setting goals to achieve
Back to grind find a way

Obsessed with work it broke this heart
Showing up do the job and going home
Getting a life outside of this old building
Reaching out to old friends  
Should meet new people to befriend
Most have kids or married
Hated being the third wheel
Doing my own thing always mattered
Being my own person on the go
No one speaks on my behalf
I don't belong to anyone rolling solo
Sometimes it feels right filled with doubt
Once it goes wrong ready to escape
It all fades away miss what was
Not caring about what it has become
A failed mess Obsessed with the best
Stuck settling for the worse getting less

The day it all came out All the anger
You loved the job but all the bs rules
Contradicting double standard was infuriating
Respect for the older gentlemen but those rules trapped in your mind
Never good enough maximum effort no emotions
Giving your all your everything all heart no glory
Determined to win a rigged game
Trying to be perfect stopped by flaws
Never complimented or given props
Always reminded the mistake the mistake always pointed out
Every flaw noticed made all the effort lose value
Stopped looking for a approval tool charge
The only one doing the work going strong blocking out the bs from the lazy

Lost in the music feeling the groove
Hitting the notes the fussion
Letting go of anger and frustration
Able to connect with the music
Forgetting about the work nonsense
Making music learning by ear
Trying to memorize the fretboard
Take in chord sounds stay in tune
Keep the tempo get the tone right
Harmonize finger placement

Learning to deal with conflict
Most of the time it ends ugly
No discussion or second chance
Passion caused chaos maximum effort
Doing what's right staying true
Spoke up after being ignored
Caring more than most being an example
Trying to be a team taking the lead
Running things solo being the grunt
I don't hate anyone over bad communication
Hoping to make sense of the misunderstanding
Feeling uncomfortable mixed with shame
A mouth full of humiliation the aftermath
A new scenario same place

Scared to have those awkward conversations
Sometimes they end is intense silence
Being ignored is frustrating
Speaking up hurts
Not being to speak up because things get personal
Told the truth usually get in trouble
Spoke up nothing got done
Did the work credit was stolen
The rage within builds up
Helping others ******* over in return
Trying not to cuss expressing anger
It all came out the body shook
Feeling it drain left with humiliation
Defeated that those emotion got the best of the moment
***** to be passionate when no one care
Bring good vibes everyone is negative

The anger to destroy others you implode it within destroying yourself
You hold yourself accountable
Living with the guilt tried to make it right
Everything went wrong ***** bad wins
Doing the work and spoke up
All you want is to be happy
Everyone wants you as company for their misery

Complain doesn't nothing
Talking about it things get ignored
Back to old habits trying to make changes
Destroying yourself in the process
It's a lost cause your like to give purpose
Feeling depressed dk how to act
Doing better health wise
Not into people feeling sorry
Overall the doubt tired of being shrank to fit in
Giving up who I am to be liked at work
Everyone talks bad about one another
Then fake to their face acting like buddies

Sometimes you take the L and learn
Dealing with your emotions is hard
Trying to not be vulnerable trying to help
It ***** when you care more than most
Venting doesn't help being humble
Trying to do what's right no matter
Proved wrong feeling cheated
Robbed of joy doing what you love
On the outside looking in
Holding back tears such agony
Made out to be the bad guy
Trying to be normal never gonna be
Always excluded or treated different
Taking on the burden shaking opening up
People don't care unless you produce results
Quick to point out your flaw
Never happy for your efforts
Waiting to see you fail
Smiling at your down fall
Expecting the worse is normal
Hoping things get better
While you wish them the best

It ***** when you're trying to change and you feel provoked. Giving your best while they bring out the worse in you. Just pray and walk away.

Dealing with that coworker, who does nothing but takes credit. Sad that I have to say "I'm joking" when I'm being sarcastic. I was insulted, I'm doing my best not to argue or feed into the drama. I lead by example I bust my *** get in there get it done. While the lead just knocks everyone.
Seen those true colors going to change things by working harder. Talk to the team hopeful work together around the problem. It ***** how one person could ruin everyone's day.
Everyone wants has problems just trying to make work better. I don't need another rude person in my life I already have cousins that make thongs awkward and uncomfortable. I don't need that at work.

Not time to hate got work to do
Not taking on criticism
They aren't doing my work
Done proving myself
Just trying to better myself
Working harder working
Being smarter prefer to be alone
Working behind the scenes
Able to get it done have fun
They don't have your heart
Different mindsets brewing fueds
Trying to find a common goal
Done complaing do the work

That internal struggle within fueling the words to write. The internal struggle losing sleep refusing to accept defeat. Doing what's right not trying to argue or fight.
Praying others would try instead of campaign to justify their lazy. Holding a job hostage because you don't get a raise or not doing the work why expect change. Be the change make a difference so over all the nonsense all the defensive behavior because deep down they are wrong.
Too many people are proud to admit they are wrong and say sorry. It might not fix the problem but change comes from understanding. Trying to create lost in those moments. Over all the negativity and hate. Disconnected about to recreate those moments can't go back trying to give life to my imagination.
Scared go gain all the pain when it's taken away. Feeling unworthy too many did me *****. Sorry if I get too wordy. Learning to tap into the heart. Writing it becomes an art of what's floating around in this determined mind.
Asking what matters how can you do things without driven by hate insulted because others can't debate trying to bully you because of your beliefs. Not imposing trying to understand. I might disagree no reason to make me a target.
I'll keep being me something. I'll never regret because your mad you'll forget all the good that was done. Emotions like a loaded gun ready to go off.

I'm trying not to be a walking contradiction. It's hard make things better for everyone not focusing on myself. After being sick Trying to recover and not holding back on the work.

Always a team player treating others work like mine. When it's my work the half *** effort and not caring bothers me. Time for everyone but stuck doing everything last minute.

I just do what needs to be done not sit back and complain. Taking the blame. Do something about it stop feeling sorry for yourself. I don't care for pity parties. Do the work

You get it out tell the truth. Everyone tried to shut you down, keep you grounded. All you want to do is take off get to the next level. Listening to the negativity made the world numb. Blocking everything out a clear mind.
Learning to cope deal with these emotions and feelings. Being a child a cry baby told stop being a ***** not able to express yourself because parents dk how to deal with you. Told to tough it out plow through. Put your head down get through to the end.
You miss out because you are distracted by getting it done. Trying to make it happen, be the one. who did it because they said it couldn't be done. They didn't believe in you so it make you want it more. Writing is a voice, doing the work getting closer coming up short. It's like a puzzle trying to complete it from all angles and with the right piece getting closer to completing the whole picture.

I didn't want to believe what I heard
All the stories hoped they weren't true
Let you in the betrayal was deep
Should've listened to the warning signs
Thought things wouldn't end
Seen it differently being foolish
Already told the outcome going in
Results given by previously used fools
Slammed into the wall of failure
Being optimistic left feeling naive
Treated just like everyone else
Never the same above the pain
So many games not playing anymore

Not your friend anymore
I'd back you up never spoke bad
While you bad mouth my name
Don't talk on my behalf
No room for a dishonest representative
You don't represent my name
Keep it out of that deceitful mouth
We no longer associate over the lies
Not catching heat guilt by association
Focused on winning not defeat
Stop blaming others for your fault
Own up for the wrong drama you caused
Had to cut ties not going to get caught up
Over stuff that has nothing to do with me

The things you don't want to talk about
The things that hurt you cause suffering
Those pains make you stronger, better
Dealing with those cluttered emotions
A pondering mind makes it worse
Confrontation minimizes pent up anxiety
Made up scenarios that never happen
Things feel real compared to reality
Staying calm levels it out keeping peace
Acting on that frustration cause chaos
Disconnected from uncomfortable situations
Know your worth trust your value
Others disagree don't lower yourself
Criticism makes you better not setttle

Why do you work so hard? Before my grabdpa died an older man working harder than the youngsters. Grandpa always said take take care.
Not afraid to get in there do the get it started and finish things. Months on the sidelines recovering made me want it more. Being kept out of the loop on the outside looking in. Sick or not fighting to be normal seen as an equal.
Being told your nothing but proving them wrong. Seen as special but in denial because no one steps it up came down a level which is numbing. Over the same bs different levels.

Too many complain campaign about everything
Rather than be the one who made a difference
Stands tall the resistances turn the page
Causing rage so many chose to settle
Than step it up be better make it happen
Not gonna run not gonna hide
Almost died revived made to survive
Another protest just to be heard
Not doing enough life is tough
Do something can't wait around
Doing nothing meant to be doing something much more

The clock ticks and tocks
Time feels like it's running out
Trying to do it so close yet so far
Coming up short another plan
Still doing it haven't got to the next level

I don't mind helping others and giving my all. It ***** when they don't help or half *** the work. Making them look good while they **** all over you and your efforts.
Trying to move up I don't care to go through people but if they are in my way I hope they don't get mad when they get plowed down.
Trying not to cuss or joke because everyone is easily offended or quick to make things personal. Feeling provoked and taunted by others.
We are not the same and don't care to be like everyone.
The detox from anger used it as fuel to make it through
Changing for the better do what's right
Trying to not fall back into bad habits
Friends become stranger find love
Start relationships make family's
Departed friends never forgotten
Memories that get lost in thought
Pursuing a dream detached from reality
Reality is a tough ride holding onto life
Surviving making a living the grind

I try doing the bro code you step back because your friend likes this girl. What ***** is she likes you but you fight temptation. Respect your friend even when they make you out to be the bad guy.
If you get the girl you lose a friend sometimes the girl loses interest and your stuck with no one. Trying to do what's right and honorable even if you end up alone. You don't want anyone talking about you or thinking less of you. By staying out of it and not getting involved with the drama that has nothing to do with you.
The worst is a friend that thinks because it's yours they can take it or entitled to what's not there's. Those kind of people get let go because the drama isn't worth it anymore.
She you love her you'll fight if she's noble and honorable she's worth it. If you don't trust her or can't be yourself.
After a while you get tired of changing for someone that's always the same. You enable their toxic that grows and destroys you breaking your heart and kindness.