Trying to be awesome around toxic
Hard working dealing with a lazy lead
Did nothing but took the credit
Always in the grind serving God's people
Head strong pride in efforts made
While the lead hides in the basement
Trying to make it easier and better for all
focused one the work not holding back
Doing all the things that matter
Back to learning bass guitar
Lots of practice good as time invested
Return those jujitsu mats older and wiser
Rocking a new gi old ones no longer fit
Writing helps make sense of life
Clear the mind let all this pent up energy flow

Telling those stories wild emotions
Sharing encounters deep feelings
More selective socially true friends stay
Every moment and experience a lesson
Arguing with family mentally exhausted
Minds are made up set in ways
Disconnected from the crazy
Willing to compromise open to change
Actions and words do not match
Tried to be the bigger person
Cut the cord turned away
Over all the pain from the betrayal
Healing from the hurt buried alive
Growing from the ***** meant to survive
Walking as a whole feeling alive

The karma tab was running high
Sooner or later would due soon enough
All the lies will be destroyed by the truth
The hard working will surpass the lazy
Flapping mouths shut for causing drama
Those roadblocks will be removed
Gained from the detour strong from the journey
The wrong made right the light drowns darkness

Forbidden love that was pure
Somedays she was warm and loving
Other days cold and distant
Failed hard tried to make it work
Lack of communication divided
Lust mistaken for love broken trust
Felt right at the beginning pain free
By the end it was wrong full of pain
Forever damaged never the same
Lovers in the past to future strangers
An idea that was reality ended in diaster

Looking for peace
Trying to find purpose
Work use to be fun
Everything has hit rock bottom
The new leadership doesn't care
There was community
Now it's lacking tired of lies
Spoke up nothing was done
Not feeding into it turned away
Focused on life not going to settle
No longer asking just doing
Divided workers who care get it done
Lazy that have no right to complain
Go burned never again
Hard to trust due to betrayal
Keep going forward is a must

Frustrated explained the problem. The situation everyone with a blank stare. Feeling like the person is useless and doesn't care. Unable to explain so they'll understand.
Once though highly of them now they are nothing, but a waste of your time. They aren't going to help just being nosey in your business.
Feeling trapped not able to breathe. Stuck trying to find an escape. Need to break away these ******* trying to dictate your  future. They know what you wanted and denied it. Now the need to prove them wrong flip them off. Prove them up for being condescending *******.

The worse feeling is when someone hurts you
Then turn around and do the same thing to someone else
She loved you but you didn't love her back
The love given was rejected ***** to be denied
Being honest and truthful is a sign of respect
Those lies being cheated doesn't justify those actions
No respect or trust leads to nothing
From lovers to strangers not able to be friends
Moving on is the best way to get along
Never going to give another chance to be hurt
Not going back to something that failed
Another chance but already know the outcome

Sleep deprived, waking up early to go fishing.
Wearing layers because it was a cold wet morning.
Using the fishing rods that were gifted by a coworker
Out by the lake taking in the scenery
The sun would shine nice and bright
Making the day feel right almost perfect
Hoping the fish would bite the hook
Not sure what bait best for the catch
Well prepared with variety
Casting in the line loaded with bait
Reel in to reduce the slack
Wait for the fish to bite tug on the line
Reel in the fish as they resist
Trying to escape the line breaks
The fish bite steal the bait swim away
Reeling in the fish the rod begins to bend
The fish wiggles being brought in closer
Lifted out of the water by the line grabbing the net to secure instead of dropping the catch back in the water

Have you ever gone back to a place that was home. Somewhere safe but it's changed so much no longer the same. With age so much change hard to accept. Becoming the seniority by default. The mentors; who trained you, retiring. Those regular faces replaced by new ones.
Something that was normal feels awkward now uncomfortable.
Trained in the circuit while others used family to move up. Know for my hard work while others us nepotism to advance.
There's no going back once you do. Everyone has moved on, no reason to go back. Everything that had meaning treasures by the heart no longer hold value in reality.

Tables turned numb not showing emotions
Against all the odds standing tall not backing down
Not friends only coworkers making a living
Going forward no longer looking back
Took a step forward got ignored
Waited long enough invested my time
Came up short what a waste
Onto the next meant for better

Woke up early it's still dark
The fog around the lake
Moisture making it sweater weather
Making the air cold with every inhale
Rushed to the ER given blood thinners
Staying clear of stress away from toxic
Moving up can't stay down forever
Bouncing back going hard determines

Breaking free from this fake person's crap
Gave then too much power going numb
Showing no emotions blocked it out
No longer empowering what hurts
Finding strength else where able to feel
Going where it's worthy as a whole
The emotional time blocking it out
Valued by peers that have more going on
Changing how things get done
Never the same rid of this draining pain
Made it fun once again with a smile
Made it to the end mild achievement

Being disconnected *****
Taking a time out because the people who wronged you
Got on your last nerve you give up everything
You didn't do anything wrong just trying not to be petty and not make it worse
Hated for being truthful while others praised for being fake
Pondering a new plan an escape route to come up with something better
Trying to get back on track with what's been on the back burner
The fear of no time and it's running out
Slowing down is hard when you're always all gas and no brakes
Thought your hard work would be rewarded after being ******* over the days have been gray.
Hard to trust from a lead role to being left behind the scenes
Deep thoughts of more older now all the side track need to get back on the fast track

Once they ***** you over never again
Chose a kiss *** over the hard worker
Gave everything gained nothing
Detached emotional no longer invested
Not one to run quick to square up
Called out liars got a stuttering response
Told the truth made out to be the bad guy
The betrayer did wrong pretending to be noble
A blank stare no emotions among peers
Blocking out the whining lazy bastsrds
Zoned out focused on the task
Looking for new something more
Physically burnt out focused on health
Mental health writing scenarios
Emotionally silent saving energy

I remember the good blind to the bad. Dk the whole story not sure how to act or respond seems like you're always mad. I'd like to he happy. Extra tired being drained not living up to these made up standards that no one cares to live upto.
All the talk and no action. False promise words that hold no meaning. Time wasted lost in every pointless conversation. Not feeding an ego or giving up on efforts to be liked be accepted by people that do nothing but talk about one another.
Don't burning energy to pretend like everything is cool when the betrayal is shady doing the hard workers *****.

Thankful to be forgiven feeling judged
Big mistakes learned the lessons
Misunderstood trying be a better person
Meant well it came from the heart
Things went wrong back away
A load off tense shoulders
Tired from carrying the burden
The guilt within consuming joy
Punishment tormenting the mind
An anchored heart being weighed down
Yearned a lost friendship from the past
Cut off never given a second chance
Starved from broken relationship
Cut the cord never got a reason
Trying to make things right feeling wrong
Learned to cope makes sense of it all
Unsettled within seeking closure
Coped with emotions moving on strong

Like a mood ring adapting to others
Trying to be positive drained by laziness
Reading the room bad vibes are strong
Trying to do what's right from the heart
Around those doing wrong not my crowd
Not forcing friendships anymore
No longer pretend to care show interest
After being use mostly betrayed
Prefer to be alone over being burned
Open to change most of all learn
New ideas tired of holding back

This already failed once
It's wrong to think it will change
Break away from what's normal
It's usually bad accepted as the norm
Looking else where for peace
Drained by disappointment
The current location failed
From joy to drained by thought
Walking into a negative environment
Everything feels pointless lost purpose
Failed leaders pretend to be you friend
A lost cause stuck seeking an escape
Something is wrong feeling off
Trying to do what's right detached
Waste of time not bothering anymore

Feeling enraged not sure
How to express these emotions
A new outlet to escape frustration
Spoke the truth made out to be bad
Stood my ground hard to be around
Squared up time to move on
Dealing with a lost cause
Taking back control of live
Tired of waiting things on pause
Breaking away after being betrayed
Meant for better no reason to stay
Hard to trust the condescending
Wrote about it exhausted from looping thought

Leaving home to pursue a degree
Away from home missing family
Experiencing the world lots of changes
Freedom to learn and grow mentally
Emotionally struggling with transition
Hard to express love show emotions
Never grew up not being heard
Having a say published for speaking up
Trusting others is difficult
learned to be alone sent to the back
Older now doing things on the go
No one will do the work for you
One must do things by ones self

I use to look for pop and reaction
Most don't care once you speak
The truth doesn't fail so many lies spread
Doing the work minding this mouth staying out of the drama too many talking
Minding ones business able to be alone
Focused on the work progressively
Walked away from it after being denied
Wanted it moving on looking else where
No longer care to be around lazy
Overlooked disrespected by useless leads
Being the hardest worker isn't enough
Well rounded open to grow constantly learning
Dealt with conflict not playing games or bothering anymore
The lead steals credit does nothing while everyone contributes
Behind the scenes being a major key to productivity

Walking tall after being betrayed
Not giving up because you did
Getting strong after being seen as weak
All these assumptions made
Proving everyone wrong
All this doubt working harder than most
Not one to complain got it done
Broken trust keeping a distance
Tried to make it right made effort
Hard to do usually one to bail
such a waste of time
Dealing with a lost cause
Onto new forget the old
Awkward vibes tension in the air
Everyone knows the conflict
No one seems to care
No compromise not going to change
The talk changes nothing
It's already been spoken
Not one listened the first time around

Doing what's made mistakes
Hoping to fix the wrong
Moving forward being pulled back
Protecting the heart from hurt
Avoiding the pain caused by others
Trying to be heard usually ignored
Embraced the silent loneliness
Not forcing to be heard
Around the wrong people
Thankful for the right ones
Took a chance came up short
Focused on personal growth
Be better for the next time
Reflection on how to improve
No longer interested to prove
Tired not giving up take a break
Burnt out still going strong
Find balance another outlet

Live in the moment
Don't let them stop you
Tell you you're not good
Dictate your life shine bright
Chase your dreams stay motivated
Accomplish greatness be yourself
Live life to the fullest pursue goals
Since they settled for less
Ruin your day meant to stand out
Hold you back take pride in work

He noticed her puffy curly hair. Big brown eyes. It had him saying "wow" and gave him the courage to ask her name. Who knew it would lead to much more.

Her smile would melt his heart. She was a cute thing. Hoping to be friends maybe more. Being friends would be enough at the moment. Why complicate the situation letting these feelings get the best of a friendship.

Those emotions ran deep craving time together to be with one another. Being able to open up express from the heart. With out those words being twisted used the truth becomes lies.

Lounging around after a rough work week
The pains and aches enhanced in the cold weather
Made changes over the years personal growth
Found other outlets to decompress release stress
Things change overtime never settle
Don't let that moment stop progress

No going back since I've grown
Moved onto new another chapter
Looking back its the same old thing
Grew up with nothing working for everything
Trying to get ahead over getting by
Always hustling not quick to settle
Talking about it letting go of the trauma
Story telling with visual details
Nothing into something more
Emotions explored able to explain
Feelings that strike the core
Physically reliving the moment
Mentally triggered imagination

Trying to show love to good people
Eyes with perspectives seeking better
Focused on good doing improving
Always kept out looking in
Holidays a depressing time
Should be with family in comfort
Sharing a meal family function
Bring up old dysfunction causing stress
Made you feel bad for chasing a dream
Pointing out the flaws insecurities
Trying to be one's self without doubt
The tension escalates together
After ignoring one another all year
Breaking from the old family
Starting a new hoping the old would gel
Come together make new memories
Positive vibes instead of the old habits
Create a new book change the traditions

From the youngest to the oldest in the room
Times have changed told somethings are taboo has become socially accepted
Everything in the open
No longer private with thought
Opinions no one asked expecting to be praised
Everyone puts on a show
Loyalty gets you betrayed
Honesty is now rejected by lies
Hard working gets stomped on
Lazy praised given awards ******* up
Hating on the workers change the routine
Brown nosing the top while kissing the bottom

They tried to break your spirit
Took the crap not doing it anymore
Smiled at the Haters being genuine
Dk everyone is mad soaked in misery
Took on the burden not doing it
Dropped the nonsense walked away
Use to be disappointed stopped caring
Breaking away feeling free from crazy
Silent to keep the peace alive
Focused on things that need to be done
Do what you love with passion
Get away from those toxic vibes
Meant for better a life outside
Escape these 4 walls out of the dark

The fighter within swings back
Crazy enough to comeback for more
After a liver transplant full recovery
Bouncing back stronger than ever
Ego tripping leads power tripping
Can't stop this determination
Staying upbeat and positive

Made some moves can only go so far
Impatient trying not to rush
Plays out great in the mind
The outcome turns out differently
Going for the win stuck with the loss
More to learn from the loss
Gain strength and growth
Be better prepared for the next time
Once was sad got over it meant for better
Hard to trust around the wrong people
Seen good in others proved wrong
Never said anything everyone is talking
Feeling set up to fail trying not to struggle
Focused on more opportunities
Not using others to get ahead
Doing the work not talking

The smile shared with one another
Learning to be friends good times
Before it becomes much more
Know the person mentally
Get close not just physically
An emotional connection comfort zone
Safe zone expressing those deep feelings
More than a gleam in the eye
Keep the passion alive stay genuine
Let this love be true grow spiritual
The Connections from heart to soul
Be real not fade away glow
And grow to much more

Made out to be the crazy one
Told the truth called cut throat
Walk into a room the crowd goes silent
Not talking about anyone saying anything
Tried to be friends always excluded
It's better to do your own thing
Focused on the goal instead of everything
Striving and Thriving to get ahead
Most of all surviving on the journey
Use to struggle to pay my phone
Working hard for a place of my own
Open to new experiences limited opportunity
Taking chances multiple risk
Struggles for personal growth
They stare at like your crazy
Act like it does phase thick skin
Wanting to know why your being isolated
Not always going to get a reason
The logic doesn't always make sense
Question the insanity causing defense

Spoke up no one listens
Trying to blame what a shame
Made out to be the crazy one
Times got rough made things tough
Stepped it up even with setbacks
The dream was meant for more
Shat on by envious people
Didn't go against their indulgence
They are coming towards your success
Chopping you down a few notches
Resisting the negativity focused on goals
Surpassing toxic Positive to the core
Personal growth is the strength
Positivity fueled to do and be better

Burnt out and being flakey
All this energy for a demanding job
Giving more everyone settles for less
Exhausted not wanting to do anything
Trying to rest hard to relax in peace
Taking in the silence able to feel comfort
Able to hear thoughts instead of noise
Doing work a distraction from overthinking
Wanting new bored with the old
Doing things that have never been done

Woke up ready to go stand tall
Tlmade out to be the problem
Providing the solution to help
Returned the favor for motivation
Driven to make a changes for better
Tired made up rules that are bias
Meant to keep your character out
Not altering this personality to be liked
Accepted or not refuse to be kept out
More than my job title beyond the work
Another life outside of the chaos
Not into politics be your true self
Focused on being a better person

Warned by peers but looked the other way
Thinking you could offer good
Everything that was said is true
Only if they knew you're being true
Told the truth against a blank stare
A cold awkward silence was the response
They did you ***** dishonest words
Why do they expect you to feel bad
Asking WHY trying to make it right
It will never go back to being the same
No emotions turned away saying it will be okay

They assumed you're going to run
Just because they did you *****
Doesn't mean anything on your character
Not noticing or paying attention to them
Or what's being said behind your back
You're not going that way
Not feeding into the chaos
Never talking about them
A waste of time focus on being productive
Not use to being alone and have grown
Learned to focus on the work not drama
Work harder with your whole being
Than give into the distractions

The work more important than your emotions
Doing the right thing over what is right
Not there to argue take on egos
They don't value you but keep rising up
To the next level even if against the odd
Be yourself make it count everyday
Be genuine with others with an open heart
Don't hide who you are open to grow
One person was dishonest with your time
Not settling for less make progress
Someone who matters makes a difference

The odds against him
Not scared or backing down
Pushed back not getting punked
Proved them wrong time
And time again meant for better
Not settling for less another
Rising up against the crazy
Moving forward part of the struggle

Live life to the fullest
After a brother was executed
It was like living for two
After a liver transplant
You learn to live for you
Stay loyal and true to yourself

What did you want to learn
What are your weakness
Everyday trying to be better
Improve the situation
Going against the odds
Spoke up told the truth
Kept out of the loop
Prefer not to get involved
Doing the job and going home
Minding this mouth and business
Use to do extra now excluded
Isolated but use to being alone
Trying to be myself not what others say
Not all the lies others make me out to be
Open to change looking else where
Tired of the lies don't trust anyone
Being taken for granted mistreated

All the rage within is tiring
Spoke up told the truth honestly
Seen as crazy overreacting
Made eye contact the look of anger
Avoid eye contact made out to be afraid
Insulted by the lies seeking the truth
Odds against your determination
Trying to even it out push out corruption
Life lessons are hard to learn against evil
Discrimination regardless of medical status

He wanted romance but it got to crazy
He was loyal and honest showed loved
She lied and cheated it was lust
Remaining loyal to the wrong people
You thought you knew the person
Turns out your judgement was wrong
Opened up to a stranger expecting more
Stuck with less regretting every moment
Broken trust a failed attempt at love
Hard to trust after being fool
Genuine intentions crushed by betrayal
Physically burnt out constantly rejected
Mentally exhausted drained of caring
Not able to figure it out looping thoughts

Have you ever talked to a person and they don't care. It ***** to be ignored or being told they agree just to shut you up.
You proved yourself and do the work. While others **** up and brown nose to move up.
It's been rough when they make you out to be the crazy one you spoke up they don't listen. Then have the nerve to blame the team which they are not apart of because they **** off the higher ups.
The infuriating part is they didn't promote you and demoted you. You've been loyal and they failed you the betrayal is real intense fueling anger and frustration.

Being a writer is an adventure
Sometimes you want to change the ending
There's no going back to that moment
Mind blocked not happy with the outcome
Did everything right now it's wrong
Gave your all got nothing in return
From leading the pack to bunched in
What if things went this way
Or turned out right for once
Thinking what could've been said
Even if you could rewrite the story
Not going to change the outcome
Things happened accordingly

We had a romance now it's over
Worked the hardest got burned
Treated wrong did nothing but right
Tried harder than most went all out
Did everything possible to make it better
Looked at with hate feeling regret
Angered because the loss of self respect
Told the truth got nothing but lies
Moving forward no turning back
All the betrayal left with broken trust
Silence with an emotionless start
Feelings are numb no longer phased
The good times fade away all the pain
Lingering bad intentions trying to escape
Damage is done no longer fun lost virtue
Can't make it right love yourself again
Time to find another way start over new

Fire in the belly ready to burn through
Not going back or staying down
Rising up let go of the past
Going forward head up going strong
Avoiding another downwards spiral
Toxic people not the place anymore
Meant for better loose from anguish
Shame on this face disgust seeping out
Wrestling pain bad memories remain
Taking back control trying to live
Dealing with the unknown surviving
A life outside this building
Change the situation save yourself

Jab with lead had and reset
Power hand thrown and reset
Shift to the left out of the pipe
Shift to the right step throw a jab
Recoil and unload the hook
Weight shift to distribute power
Lower level explode up
Throw the the uppercut
So much to work on
Technique is keep to improving
Foot placement forward back
L step cause separation
Holding pads drilling through
Repetition going through the motions