Banged up from training back up
So much training to remember
Giving your all to the sport
Taking the good cutting off the bad
Trying to progress compete against others
Earn a stripe rise to the next level
Working hard to challenge yourself
Camp mode dieting watch what you eat
Improve by repeating applying technique
Take downs by grabbing a leg or double
Grips to restrain the opponent
Find the dominate position with control
Frame up the move for points
Find an escape in a tough situation
Keep moving go strong go hard
Piecing together the moves to get success

A day of writing down on the page
Clearing the mind free from stress
Processing emotions after experiencing
Coping with feelings every encounters
Not defined by others defining ones self
Personal growth from all those moments
Stories to tell from those series of events

Trying to break this cycle of crazy
Turned away from all those things
What once matter is now worthless
Doing the work struggling alone
Approval now longer required
Reached out now forgotten
Bad memories remain escape the pain

Struggling with others nonsense
Focused on bettering the situation
Leave the current job for a career
Chasing those dreams past due
Setting goals too much on hold
Focused turned away from distractions
The hearts been hurt many times
Before not welcoming anymore
Worked hard and promotion denied
The agony to see the lazy person
Who got the position be careless
A hard worker giving his all
Living with rejection in denial
Trying not be know for health issue

Work ***** ready for a change
Dealing with a lazy lead
The kiss *** number 2
Finding excuses a bunch of talk
Instead of doing the work
Not settling or being held back
Spoke up now being excluded
Being kept out still doing the work
Never talking about haters
Quick to change the subject
Not worth my time or bothering
Never giving into the hype
Someone you looked out for
Betrayed your kindness broken trust
Did favors now seen like ***** ups
Aligned with the rivals on the outside

On the mats tired and sore
Crazy enough to comeback for more
Learning to take down shoot for legs
A fraid to catch a knee to the face
Trying not to injure others
Staying positive rolling to learn
With an aggressive teammate
Help them and they'll help you grow
Being able to hang in action get a reaction
Taking pieces put them together like legos
Gi is a resource tool using the lapel
Restrain an opponent extra grips
Cup and grasp with no Gi
Frame up hold a position to gain points

When it feels like something is wrong
Everything is okay very unsettling
A clear mind use to overthinking
Not dealing with anyone's drama
Seen like family the betrayal
Caused anger now divided
Friends cold and distant enemies
One did wrong justified it as right
The other Spoke up now being judged
Both with agendas opposite views
One choosing to do right stay true
The other quick to cut corners and lie

On the mats against a bigger opponent
Trying to make it through the round
Not tap out finish strong trying to escape
Free from dead weight not pinned down
Wiggle out of this tough situation
Find an open area away from pressure
Make the person work for the submission
Keep working till the alarm goes off
Exhausted burnt out onto the next round
Sweaty definitely ready for more

Trying to stay on beat a major key
Focus on the count hit every note
Keep up with tempo matching the band
Lots of practice work on technique
Be prepared not a nervous wreck
Survivor mode be able to hang
Proving it can be done
Able to replicate most of all produce

Never cared for political views
Respect everyones faith and beliefs
Be a good person treat one another right
The community divided more than ever
It's not about being right anymore
Build trust with vulnerability
Try to understand different perspectives
But doing the right thing be better
Instead of united being supportive
The imposition causing hate to rise
Have an opinion gets you attacked
Stay silence the internal turmoil burns

It was his first day he was use to rejection
Surprised she agreed to an evening
Trying to get to know one another
More than puppy love it felt natural
Not one to force things let it be organic
Honesty is important once a lie is injected
Things being to fall apart hard to trust
No longer the same question everything
Being genuine remain loyal around toxicity
Dealing with betrayal infuriating within
The compromise is no longer worth sacrifice

That lingering thought to compete
Knowing what it takes to rise up
Get in the gym go through the motions
Days and nights giving your all
Being sore after training slower recovery
Balancing the sport and work to survive
All that hard work going towards a goal
Always going hard no towards something
Preparing for this event physically
Mentally focused learn apply the technique

Cracking jokes being fun again
Took the job serious and gained nothing
Taking back self respect moved on
Looking else where pushed away
No reason to stay not one to snitch
Not going to hide quick to square up
Stand my ground fought back
Tired of not being heard after speaking
Did the work why the lazy complain
Sad to see everything decline
Trying to get ahead or come out even

Hard to remember tried to block it out
All you wanted was to forget
That person made you feel good
Then in the snap of a finger
Made you feel useless
Unworthy of their time
Did you ***** now playing the victim
The lies spoken the actions don't match
Giving your all and it's declining
It felt worth with time lost value
Felt meaningless after a while
Turned your back now it's over done
Let it fade on its own corrupt demise

Writing to understand these thoughts
Make sense of all that's going on
The feelings can be overwhelming
Expressing those bottled emotions
Being heard by your community
Knowing what your are trying to say
Annoyed when others twist your words
Trying to be genuine most of all myself
Not being what others say
Sick of assumptions false narratives
Staying centered true to self
Internal growth cleansing the spirit
Not what others made out to be
Approval from people who don't approve
Their opinion doesn't matter have value
Like your feelings mean nothing to them

Holding the pads trying to remember
The sequences working with a southpaw
You have to think one way
Doing everything backward
Trying to think fast without explaining
Keep the drills going not wasting time
Focused on technique learn to slow down
Drill with form pause to take a beat
Reset then start over again
The pop from the gloves hitting the pad
Side steps to keep from being flat footed

Missing the person that use to be free
Not a care in the world just getting by
Before heartbreak life seem promising
Chasing moments living experiences
New encounters an empowering reward
Breaking away from the boring routine
Cutting off toxic tired of condescension
Called deceivers out demanding the truth
Turned away onto new away with the old

In a room find full of liars
The betrayals very uncomfortable
Quick to get away not okay
It's not right not pretending anymore
Being genuine to criticized by decievers
Did the work credit is being stolen
Only nice when a favor is needed
Most of the time being ignored

Exhausted mentally from overthinking
Burnt out from a job not appreciated
On a steady decline losing value
Spoke up made out to be crazy
Excluded from the conversation
Expected to do everything by haters
Trying not to stress the liars in charge
Focused on the work get it done
Go home have a life outside of that
Searching another outlet to decompress

Reflecting on the past in the dark room
More bad than good positive thoughts
Trying to make sense of it all
Lost love hoping to be found
Losing focus years of wandering
Refusing to stay in one place
Hard to take in the moment
Never going back to what caused pain
Finding peace dropping the burden
Time away to heal and cope
Understand the complicated situation
Find a steady foundation leveled out

Told you I loved you from the heart
All you did was run away
Told I wasn't the one rejected
Replaced with someone else
Love wasn't enough to stay together
Feelings didn't matter a crumbling end
Two lover to complete strangers
A passionate kiss gone numb
Emotionless no longer a connection
No more feelings shared wedged apart
Deep hurt within no reasons given
Hard to make sense of the situation
Obsessed walking in denial seeking truth

Music brings back memories
Reminded of that person
An intimate moment together
On the road a long adventure home
Songs shared among friends
Flashback to better times
Upbeat bass matches the heart
A numb soul begins to heal
Hurt filled with hopeful melodies
Feeling emotions connected to lyrics

Trying  to please your elders
They've done it with experience
Many times before it's second nature
You like to learn from them
Too bad you have other ideas
The plans are similar different times
Experienced passing wisdom
The inexperienced gaining perspective
Find a place to call home feel safe
Passed up so much inconvenienced
Asking what if wanting that moment
Scared of missing on that opportunity
Hoping for a chance not always sure
On the edge Trying to easy in
Cope to feel whole with emotions
feelings to fill the hole within

On the mats knee banged up
Caught in a wrist lock
Work on defense to counter
Trying to survive the round
An older body limited rolling
With a younger opponents
Hoping to burn out their energy
Apply the technique use momentum
Be patient experience taking on speed

Use to being alone hard to trust
Not with anyone because of loneliness
After being deceived hard to open up
Holding back ready to go all in
Gave everything to something
That did not amount to anything
Emotionally invested now bankrupt
Protecting a broken heart from betrayal
Honest with love complicated situations
Respectful of feeling trying to understand
During an emotional hardship
Frustration taking the after math
Dealing with feeling of passive abuse
Never included left with subliminal clues
Never explained multiple assumptions

Suppose to be fun but it's not the veteran musicians expect your results they don't care how you feel or what you think. Still a beginner taking on years of experience. Not backing down playing frustrated trying to keep up learning on the fly. Trying to play at professional level that's become second nature.
Working on tempo struggling with the tempo lost with the tempo deaf  tone with the change up it all has a consistent flow need to study and analyze the song to make sense of it all.
Trying to let all those feelings and emotions come out vibrate fluxate with the creative process.

Tell your story live it to the fullest
Believe in yourself when others do not
Keep going strong see opportunity
Most settled the have the nerve to complain
Another road block with haters
Detoured with doubters in the way
Taking on the journey full of growth
Learned from those encounters
Gained from every experience
Need more inspired role models
Observed who not to be like do better
Loved the wrong people left with regret
Hated by people that got called out
Excluded not alone wiggle room to be free
Life goes on with or without any say
Made it through the day time to reflect
Another moment in time spent floating
Taken away from the numbing pain
Able to heal feel whole again

Getting a haircut well groom
In the barber chair my turn had come
Venting to the barber
Very impatient about life
Being told "everything will come together"
Doing the hard work people notice
The truth planted deep in the heart
Not one to lie open eyes standing tall

An older mind full of growth
An older body wear and tear
Doing what you love times have changed
Trying to bend limited flexibility
Holding back with strength
Going through the motions
Focused on technique slowing down
Taking on a younger athlete
Heavy handed being responsible
Learning to hold back get better
Be smarter and wiser on defense
Hoping for a mistake to get the move
Escape the submission find wiggle room

Tired from pushing through
Not one to quit or surrender
No pressure no diamond
Trying to survive burnt out
Working harder to feel alive
Back up from being down
Set the tone grinding through
Breaking the rules making your own
Loyal to the wrong people
A moral code still doing whats right
Against the odds still surpassing
Thriving through to the end
Not one to complain just do the work
Make the most of the situation
Don't pretending like it's fine
Being denied set aside by doubters
Taking credit for what is mine
Did the work over being criticized

Got knocked down bounced back up
Like a weeble back up not staying down
Knocked over by alcohol struggle within
Back up with sobriety clarity of mind
Broken hearted popped up with faith
Rejected made out to be weak denied
Standing tall stronger than before
Health derailed with cirrhosis
Back on track staying active
Doing what's right to win the fight
Writing unexpressed emotions to escape
Sharing feelings able to cope
Freed from internal burdens

Crossing paths with the people
Who betray your trust
Doing your own thing
Called them out in the past
Now playing the victim
Gave them my back
Avoiding eye contact
So the knife can be removed
Heart is else where going hard
Mind focused on opportunities
Soul free from toxic and lazy haters

Trying to be awesome around toxic
Hard working dealing with a lazy lead
Did nothing but took the credit
Always in the grind serving God's people
Head strong pride in efforts made
While the lead hides in the basement
Trying to make it easier and better for all
focused one the work not holding back
Doing all the things that matter
Back to learning bass guitar
Lots of practice good as time invested
Return those jujitsu mats older and wiser
Rocking a new gi old ones no longer fit
Writing helps make sense of life
Clear the mind let all this pent up energy flow

Telling those stories wild emotions
Sharing encounters deep feelings
More selective socially true friends stay
Every moment and experience a lesson
Arguing with family mentally exhausted
Minds are made up set in ways
Disconnected from the crazy
Willing to compromise open to change
Actions and words do not match
Tried to be the bigger person
Cut the cord turned away
Over all the pain from the betrayal
Healing from the hurt buried alive
Growing from the ***** meant to survive
Walking as a whole feeling alive

The karma tab was running high
Sooner or later would due soon enough
All the lies will be destroyed by the truth
The hard working will surpass the lazy
Flapping mouths shut for causing drama
Those roadblocks will be removed
Gained from the detour strong from the journey
The wrong made right the light drowns darkness

Forbidden love that was pure
Somedays she was warm and loving
Other days cold and distant
Failed hard tried to make it work
Lack of communication divided
Lust mistaken for love broken trust
Felt right at the beginning pain free
By the end it was wrong full of pain
Forever damaged never the same
Lovers in the past to future strangers
An idea that was reality ended in diaster

Looking for peace
Trying to find purpose
Work use to be fun
Everything has hit rock bottom
The new leadership doesn't care
There was community
Now it's lacking tired of lies
Spoke up nothing was done
Not feeding into it turned away
Focused on life not going to settle
No longer asking just doing
Divided workers who care get it done
Lazy that have no right to complain
Go burned never again
Hard to trust due to betrayal
Keep going forward is a must

Frustrated explained the problem. The situation everyone with a blank stare. Feeling like the person is useless and doesn't care. Unable to explain so they'll understand.
Once though highly of them now they are nothing, but a waste of your time. They aren't going to help just being nosey in your business.
Feeling trapped not able to breathe. Stuck trying to find an escape. Need to break away these ******* trying to dictate your  future. They know what you wanted and denied it. Now the need to prove them wrong flip them off. Prove them up for being condescending *******.

The worse feeling is when someone hurts you
Then turn around and do the same thing to someone else
She loved you but you didn't love her back
The love given was rejected ***** to be denied
Being honest and truthful is a sign of respect
Those lies being cheated doesn't justify those actions
No respect or trust leads to nothing
From lovers to strangers not able to be friends
Moving on is the best way to get along
Never going to give another chance to be hurt
Not going back to something that failed
Another chance but already know the outcome

Sleep deprived, waking up early to go fishing.
Wearing layers because it was a cold wet morning.
Using the fishing rods that were gifted by a coworker
Out by the lake taking in the scenery
The sun would shine nice and bright
Making the day feel right almost perfect
Hoping the fish would bite the hook
Not sure what bait best for the catch
Well prepared with variety
Casting in the line loaded with bait
Reel in to reduce the slack
Wait for the fish to bite tug on the line
Reel in the fish as they resist
Trying to escape the line breaks
The fish bite steal the bait swim away
Reeling in the fish the rod begins to bend
The fish wiggles being brought in closer
Lifted out of the water by the line grabbing the net to secure instead of dropping the catch back in the water

Have you ever gone back to a place that was home. Somewhere safe but it's changed so much no longer the same. With age so much change hard to accept. Becoming the seniority by default. The mentors; who trained you, retiring. Those regular faces replaced by new ones.
Something that was normal feels awkward now uncomfortable.
Trained in the circuit while others used family to move up. Know for my hard work while others us nepotism to advance.
There's no going back once you do. Everyone has moved on, no reason to go back. Everything that had meaning treasures by the heart no longer hold value in reality.

Tables turned numb not showing emotions
Against all the odds standing tall not backing down
Not friends only coworkers making a living
Going forward no longer looking back
Took a step forward got ignored
Waited long enough invested my time
Came up short what a waste
Onto the next meant for better

Woke up early it's still dark
The fog around the lake
Moisture making it sweater weather
Making the air cold with every inhale
Rushed to the ER given blood thinners
Staying clear of stress away from toxic
Moving up can't stay down forever
Bouncing back going hard determines

Breaking free from this fake person's crap
Gave then too much power going numb
Showing no emotions blocked it out
No longer empowering what hurts
Finding strength else where able to feel
Going where it's worthy as a whole
The emotional time blocking it out
Valued by peers that have more going on
Changing how things get done
Never the same rid of this draining pain
Made it fun once again with a smile
Made it to the end mild achievement

Being disconnected *****
Taking a time out because the people who wronged you
Got on your last nerve you give up everything
You didn't do anything wrong just trying not to be petty and not make it worse
Hated for being truthful while others praised for being fake
Pondering a new plan an escape route to come up with something better
Trying to get back on track with what's been on the back burner
The fear of no time and it's running out
Slowing down is hard when you're always all gas and no brakes
Thought your hard work would be rewarded after being ******* over the days have been gray.
Hard to trust from a lead role to being left behind the scenes
Deep thoughts of more older now all the side track need to get back on the fast track

Once they ***** you over never again
Chose a kiss *** over the hard worker
Gave everything gained nothing
Detached emotional no longer invested
Not one to run quick to square up
Called out liars got a stuttering response
Told the truth made out to be the bad guy
The betrayer did wrong pretending to be noble
A blank stare no emotions among peers
Blocking out the whining lazy bastsrds
Zoned out focused on the task
Looking for new something more
Physically burnt out focused on health
Mental health writing scenarios
Emotionally silent saving energy

I remember the good blind to the bad. Dk the whole story not sure how to act or respond seems like you're always mad. I'd like to he happy. Extra tired being drained not living up to these made up standards that no one cares to live upto.
All the talk and no action. False promise words that hold no meaning. Time wasted lost in every pointless conversation. Not feeding an ego or giving up on efforts to be liked be accepted by people that do nothing but talk about one another.
Don't burning energy to pretend like everything is cool when the betrayal is shady doing the hard workers *****.

Thankful to be forgiven feeling judged
Big mistakes learned the lessons
Misunderstood trying be a better person
Meant well it came from the heart
Things went wrong back away
A load off tense shoulders
Tired from carrying the burden
The guilt within consuming joy
Punishment tormenting the mind
An anchored heart being weighed down
Yearned a lost friendship from the past
Cut off never given a second chance
Starved from broken relationship
Cut the cord never got a reason
Trying to make things right feeling wrong
Learned to cope makes sense of it all
Unsettled within seeking closure
Coped with emotions moving on strong

Like a mood ring adapting to others
Trying to be positive drained by laziness
Reading the room bad vibes are strong
Trying to do what's right from the heart
Around those doing wrong not my crowd
Not forcing friendships anymore
No longer pretend to care show interest
After being use mostly betrayed
Prefer to be alone over being burned
Open to change most of all learn
New ideas tired of holding back

This already failed once
It's wrong to think it will change
Break away from what's normal
It's usually bad accepted as the norm
Looking else where for peace
Drained by disappointment
The current location failed
From joy to drained by thought
Walking into a negative environment
Everything feels pointless lost purpose
Failed leaders pretend to be you friend
A lost cause stuck seeking an escape
Something is wrong feeling off
Trying to do what's right detached
Waste of time not bothering anymore