He wondered if he'd ever be normal again laying in the dark. Elevating his feet because they'd swell up. Waiting for that call from Arizona that 480 area code for a possible donor.
It's sad but the person signed up for it to help others. The person needs to pass in under 45 minutes once the plug is pulled. The ***** is placed in a simulator to produce bile if that works the person waiting has to race to from CA to AZ. Once the ***** is set the person will get a liver as those calls are exciting but draining.
You tell a few people then feel like a disappointment because it hasn't happened yet. Somethings are beyond your control you have no say. He didn't want to miss work, or leave his coworker because work would pile up. He'd come back to a mess.
The problem was they can't get coverage and some complain trying to get his crew in trouble following procedure. They dk how it works but assume the job is easy. Catering to their needs already isn't enough.
Trying to use the union to manipulate everyone while harassing everyone in their little cliques that don't do anyone any favors out for their selfish gain

Jakeb had a dream his ex got with his brother's best friend. He didn't feel bad or have any remorse, he knew what his brother's friend was about.
He was a player and nothing serious would become of what was going on. She tried to make him jealous because she thought it would give her the upper hand. He knew anyone after would be a downgrade.
He felt nothing because her games made him become emotionless. She violated his trust and wasted his time her opinions no longer mattered. He went numb when it came to her. She couldn't change or manipulate him anymore.

His values didn't mix with these modern ideals. A friend has your back while today people use you. Worked till the end seen it through.
Today everyone wants a hand out or expect so much without giving anything back. He knew anything he wanted had to be earned not given.
He didn't care for social media people get bold online, but a coward in reality. People hid behind screens instead of face the person straight up.

Praying for a friend who had a mild stroke. She has children that the family be healed and united.
For his cousin with 3 kids with 3 babies mommas. That he would get his life together and be a provider.
Gave it to God  because he's a man and can't do it alone on his own. Asking to be forgiven having a hard time Forgiving himself.
He forgave others to have peace, most never forgive him. He quick to move on pursuing his dream even though it's on hold because he wants to get his health right first.
He was interested in dating a nurse but sick of being in and out of the hospital. Thought about dating but the way it works now doesn't make sense.
Everyone wants all the perks of a relationship but no commitment. He was old school date for a while make it a relationship hopefully it would lead to marriage and kids making a family.

He elevated his feet so the swelling could go down
Frustrated because the transplant
He wants has yet to happen
Feeling discouraged about his life
Questioning his faith still believing
Watching the world series wanting Texas to win
But Arizona was a growing franchise
Kind of against it mild resentment
Because it's where the transplant will take place
Those calls get his hopes up and leave him disappointed
His love for everyone was strong
Thankful for his support group
Things were going strong in motion
Now they just stopped and slowing down
A year to get on the transplant list
Now 3 months on the list 2 calls of possible donors

He was stressed and an emotional eater stuffing his face. The bad news made him depressed. He was still working with bad health because so many milked a doctor's note.  He did the work while most made excuses.
Staying active while most chose to be lazy. Anything he said or did made him out to be crazy. Having an opinion and being hard working got him hate. The lazy tried to blame him because he made them look bad since they didn't take pride in their work.

He got another call for the transplant it was a no go within the guidelines. It ruined his day and he still went to work.
Doing extra he wanted to be a lead, but was behind the scenes. Biting his lip because he was waiting for the surgery. Holding back because he knew he'd be out recovering.
Those calls get him worked up then burnt out when he got the bad news. He'd reflect on his life asking "what he did wrong?" Asking when and "why hasn't it happened yet?"
Writing helped him put life into perspective. Trying to write his story and control his narrative. He couldn't explain or find the words.