Trying to feel it see it before trying to make it a reality. Sometimes it can't be seen but does happen. Wondering about that life even though it doesn't happen right away. Was it worth it does it matter anymore. Weighing in on all the burdens the sacrifice that would be made.
Giving up what he loves thinking something better will turn up giving up things that mattered asking what priorities will contribute or cause backsliding moving forward is hard after being anchored down. Free of the back breaking weight learning to move without feeling tormented by the past wanting to move without an coming back to claim him like abandoned territory because someone new came into his life taking him serious not playing games.
Meet new friends that don't talk **** because he was trying to bring them along but they decided to peel off to do their own thing that blew up in their face.
Find a partner family will accept instead of being put in the middle having to play peacemaker while his relationship went to crap trying to keep everyone happy. Making time for everyone but they never made time for him. Expecting him to care for their feelings while they belittled him for opening up speaking the truth.

Putting his body through hell
Taking the punishment to clear his mind
Waking up with a sore and tender body
Lower back pain that rang through the nerves
In the mirror seeing a swelled face that took a beating
Flirting with pain obsessed with the agony
The tortured soul finding pleasure in the insanity

Running into an old fling he knew they could never be
They actually talked and civil one wanted in while the other was kept out
Getting answers why and where did it go wrong
His love for her would come back but didn't get his hopes up
She was hurt trying to find herself years of being lost
Being with the wrong people because she couldn't be single
The men she hurt became strangers
Played itself and distanced himself from her

Being the man taking a stand
Hiding your emotions down for yours
Not letting emotions cloud judgement
Chasing opportunity rising up
Can't stay down pursuing a dream
Lost in the technique repetitive drilling
Practice like it's real means everything
Creating with words exploring ideas
Vibrating emotions on heavy bass string
Every page taking the bleeding ink
Trying to be normal never on to fit in
An outsider looking in wondering where
Where does he fit in where does he belong

They told him it was pride he forgave them and moved on. They kept it up all the bad attitudes and mouthing people behind their back. He told them straight up to their face he wasn't running but when he stood up against them, they knew they had no power or say over him.  
He moved in the light while they'd sneak around in the darkness. He wasn't afraid of the dark it was second nature.

It would never be a one on one. They'll slander his name bad mouth his reputation trying to influence others to see the worse when they dk him. That's why he chose to be a lone wolf not able to trust anyone over all the lies when he was loyal and true now a days its a lost value.

He worked on his footwork feeling like death was coming after him.
Distracted working drills to stay alive
Keeping his mind occupied sharp
Working with his cousin going through the motions
Life has been rough but staying tough
Around a tough crowd that doesn't get along
Dealing with rejects as he chose to be a social outcast.

Stayed away feeling kept out because you run your mouth talking about everyone. You dk their story or situation expecting everyone to explain themselves while you debate all your faults and failures to justify everything. Others have no choice and wear the labels place on them.
It's rare when someone who says NO and denies all the crap. Not taking the group ******* or letting a group of moronic followers influence. Eventually all the egos will conflict with one another. The struggle for power to be right. Making everyone miserable because they want to run the show.