The love was infatuation thinking it was real she wasn't the one. His heart stuck on her. She didn't value or appreciate him he wanted her even more. He couldn't get enough he made excuses for her but he hated being wrong thinking he could fix something that was beyond repair.
He seen her with other men and it gutted him from the inside out. She was lusting a  girl with freedom that took everyone and thing for granted. She didn't explain why it was over but you could feel it. She was cold and heartless after being affectionate open to you. Stirring your feelings and emotions causing confusion and anger due to the lack of communication. Not having a say not responsible for her feelings that left everyone emotional. She cried because she couldn't explain her actions the reasons for her conduct towards lovers who she lusted after leaving them in torment

Loving family unconditional even if they cuss you out. Disrespect you because they dk how to cope or deal with their emotions. Letting their feelings get the best of the situation wanting you to talk to them not willing to listen.
Acting like they are better than you thinking they have the upper hand being ignorant. Expecting you to lower yourself to be accepted. Asking your opinion but real want you to side with them say what they want to hear. Dealing with the problem stop looking for excuses. Complaining about a bf that is egotistical but staying loyal looking like a fool. While a brother who cheats on a girl he doesn't like follows everyone not having an opinion of his own. As an older sibling watching this insanity they have the never to call you the crazy one for being single wanting a healthy relationship not emotional crutch of a partner.
He told his story straight to the point seen as wild or crazy realizing he was wrong or made mistakes still owned up.

Thanksgiving should be about family but with mine there is always drama some act like the world is about them while others complain but stay in that situation. People never change I respect  you've moved up. Just because you treat people bad doesn't mean you have the right to do it.
Some accept it while others won't tolerate that conduct. Not into one sided relationships sick of how people talk about others behind their but kiss *** to their face. Seen them better than myself but they act the worse because you have an opinion you spoke your mind. Trying to tell you how to live when they aren't even living up to the imaginary bar set for others.
We all have that one sibling who thinks because they are tall and thicker than everyone acting like they could beat everyone up talking to everyone disrespectful and expecting respect. After a while you shut it down not empowering that nonsense.
Trying to see people as an equal but some think they can step on people to rise up or use others then drop them like it's hot. Annoyed with phony people who believe in their hype all that talk and not backing it up. Been trying to move up by working hard sick of people putting up road blocks who do nothing for you. Making it about them when they try to steal your credit. Act like they are the mastermind when they are basic and boring trying to steal the spotlight.

The dating pool has been like jumping into a shallow puddle of mud. Taught to be a provider times have changed. Relationships don't hold value all the perks but no commitment. Being used then set free wanting more but stuck with less. An open relationship would not work one wants to be the one not one of many.
Asking what do you bring one relies on looks not contributing. Not equal one constantly gives and its never enough while the other continues to take and can't get enough never happy or satisfied. Ruining things once control is lost when they cheat blaming others for their actions.
Judging isolating people who don't agree or give into their commands. Taking advantage of the weak once someone strong comes along they are mistaken a threaten fool trying to take others down for defense.

Writing about it is the best feeling
Experience it makes it more rewarding
Things don't happen right away
Turned out better than expected
A late kiss that finally happened
Asking a girl out and she says yes
Not sure how to feel or react
Getting the job years of subbing
Treating it serious now it's happening
Working out seeing results come together
Due to dedication hard work motivation
After years of things being plateo
Finally rise up to the next level
Not getting a crush to end up let down
Trying those feelings that are unsettling
Appreciated ones company being alone
Processing making sense of things
Exploring ideas the creative process

Things didn't happen right away
Not sure what to expect or how to act
Not always the first pick or get the girl
Didn't get his hopes up came up short
Usually ended up disappointed
Lost in his hopes feeling overwhelmed
Emotions got the better of him
Betrayed by family still showing love
Hurt by his best friend hard to trust
Stayed away got sober friends faded
Blamed for cheating his girl cheating
Called bad names an unfaithful luster
Trying to expose the shame of yesterday
Did it matter it was all in the past
Taunted by the tormenting present
Pulled back by the past fighting regret
Living in the moment escaping anguish
Focused on the future new goals rising up

He stared at her and she didn't age. He felt like that scared nervous boy from high school. Trying to say something funny but came off socially awkward. She told him about his husband. He respected that he did many bad things a home wrecker was not one of them.
A flashback that had taken him back. Many things he had forgotten those memories came back, he'd  remember things that got blocked out.
He was lost in the reality working to survive, creating to escape all the frustration. Asking what he truly wanted still pursue his dreams, even if they were a secret.