Pen and the pad
Typing it out
Censored or uncensored
Still telling the truth
Learning to cope these emotions
Process these feelings
Feels like they get the best of things
Showed love left hanging
Wasn't interested kept coming back
Loved her she loves someone else
Failed relationship that was draining
Scared to get hurt get a broken heart
Been in love never got it back
Said I love you didn't hear it in return
Said it but didn't mean it another time
Trying not to be bitter and forgiving
Thought things changed for the better
End up the same and much worse

Hard to find peace
In a hateful world
Would rather be building
Than destroying others
Personal growth over self destruction
Never ending process on the go
Flirting with word play
Thinking of ways to inspire
Stay motivated during diverse times
The struggle within fade
Around the right people feeling good
Around the wrong people
Trying not to hate life
Or let them rub their toxic ways
Or send bad vibes in this direction

Slowing down time is taking it's toll
Lost so many on the journey
Got tired of waiting holding back
Friends turn to foes not talking anymore
Over shady girls who just wanted tonparty
Girlfriend turned into an ex
With her felt like an idiot couldn't do right
Even when she was clearly wrong
Working a job that doesn't get easier
Gave everything it's never enough
Wised up learned everything possible
Can't rely or depend on anyone at work
Hard to show emotions seen as weak
Have an opinion everyone is offend
Jokes turn to insults it got personal
Wanting to speak but it's easier to write

Should've done this
Or could've done that
Somethings didn't happen
Turn out accordingly
Been frustrated with things
No one is helping
Help yourself to be more
Stuck with less
Making the most of things
More downs than ups
Always shutting up to keep the peace
But enraged deep inside
No where to run or hide
Tried to vent told what to do
Said nothing not interested to open up
Hurting inside stress all time high

Work hasn't been great
Been thankful to be working
Around a guy who calls shots
Doesn't do his job all the way
But expects me to finish
Always focused on work
How to get it done be better
Pulling the weight of others
Don't want to do it anymore
Tired of being a stepping stone
Respect and mindful with this mouth
Not one to cuss or make a scene
Over BS titles all talk with no pull
Talking like they are interested
Just wasting time with an ear full
Still believe hard work will pay
They should go with the hardest worker
It's an insult when they hire
That is lazy not one to brown nose
Or kiss *** to move up
Sad that people do that
Showed interest got denied
Didn't care or want it anymore
All of a sudden being told
It could be an opportunity
Over all the lies all the detours
Don't know where this journey is going
Or where things will end up
Sometimes walking away feels right
But this gut feeling
Is not willing to accept it

A stomach knotted up
Used to embrace being the bad guy
People judging doing way worse
Never talked about anyone
Someone's always saying my name
Not trying to get caught up mix
Skin tone shouldn't be a factor
Stereotypes *** assumptions
Some have no say trying to be normal
Control over the manner
Everyone has a struggle
Some are worse than others
Discrimination of some type
That ain't right use to not being accepted
Told that you do belong
By my own people makes it worse
More than a struggle within
Never blame others work to be better
Take your frustrations out on them
Another cyberbully with a hateful massage
Been blown off been ignored

Use to feel at world with the world
Taking on every cause
Got lost along the way
Had to be better found faith
Praying to God can't do it alone
Turned to the word not losing grace
Already at ease fireworks going off
Praying for safety repentance sorry
Not about that life anymore staying sober
A relationship with God over being in a crew
Sad inside can't hide it anymore
Starting to show won't let this anger grow
Avoided being attacked stay quiet
Price to pay for saying the truth