i used to get this feeling
that the world was really great
i remember playing hopscotch in
the driveway with the
sun shining
like the most
beautiful
thing
a beacon of
light
from god himself
i remember dancing
in the backyard with
the sprinkler on
water
flying
skirt
jumping
neighbors
smiling
i was
happy
i used to climb that one
tree at the
park
i called it
mine
one day they chopped off the branch i
always
sat on
not mine
i wanted to be a
dancer
ballerina
enchantress
mom said
no
not
good enough
not enough
money
do something
practical
i just wanted to create
magic
and touch the
stars
that was when
the sky got
blacker
and
the world got
bleaker
then i looked
at other girls
long
legs
thin
arms
soft
hair
pretty
face
me.
thicklegsfatarmstangedhairuglyface
better
o­ff
dead.
pale skin spiderwebbed
with red
red words
red lines
pink scars
dead eyes
all of a sudden the
world
wasn’t that great
then came
the pills
the
tears
the bed
dead

don't be afraid you're already dead

for he was not lucky enough for the train to take the other track
the pills were not vitamin C
the gun did not shoot water
and it was not, instead of him, me.

we are no longer the kids with capes crinkled in knots around our necks
but in their place are the rope burns of our selfish regrets

only attempting to rid myself of the crushing weight of confused sorrow
the dreams in my head have fallen to the floor
he placed his in patterns there

searching for adjectives inside a dictionary
where only nouns are found
lonely, the adjective being
the one word to describe this
is trapped in the moldy basement of a frat house

he taps at the window
sliding through its confinements
back where he was days ago
a silhouette of the clock

plucking at your hairs
chickens clucking that their scared
they keep changing this cyclorama
but it's always ripped and torn

walking into the abyss
singing his cares away
thinking himself sick
will we feel like this for the rest of our lives?

who owns this beating heart,
it seems to have been misplaced

you'd written horror stories on the sides of elementary schools
superfluous thoughts were rays of sunshine
that only cast shadows in your head

don't be afraid you're still alive

In the Pine Barrens
Where we go, where we sleep
Is the place where the wind
The wind blows and water's deep
You can hide your head
And disappear for a while
In the thick trees and tall grass
Natures gateway, natural turnstile

So meet me there
When the Sun is hanging low
Don't brush your hair
Only thing you need is to go
With your heart in your hands
Intent on burying in the sand

Your Father Must Have Been A Theif,
He Must've Caused The World Much Grief,
For He Stole Stars From Our Very Skys,
And Put Them Inside Your Blue-Grey Eyes,
Pheewww What A Relief

My words come out better

when you are with me.

When you are gone,

I cannot form a coherent thought.

Agony, sheer agony of mind

Screaming at whiteness,

Longing for you

to say something to me.

You come and go

when you please.

You’re cold-hearted

fickle and rude. But when

you’re sweet?

You’re decadently so.

When you’re loving,

You wrap yourself in my

mind--you never let go

Promise me one thing?

If you’re going to go again,

Give me some warning.

That way, I’ll have a pen in hand

when you come knocking at my door.

At the end of the run
To spoil the fun
An evil crime
Conceived by a twisted mind
Delivered by human ****

"We see people as we are,
not as they are."

So true.

What do we really know
about the people we encounter,

the friends we have,
even
our families.

Everything we see,
might not be
real.

Eerie, right?

But life is only about perception.

We all see things differently.

So is anything actually real?