I feel tenseness in my body
i break my own bones, rip my tendons
burn myself, going to rehab tomorrow
I will miss your subversiveness
and don't understand what occurred
I think you will regret what happened
I do
The smoke curls away from the wreckage
Broken glances of affection.

You loved me once

Too many days
And I will take a lover, or two or three
Beautiful, all of them. And for an hour, or a day....I love something
Everyone will eventually leave you. And they do
No warning (though you should have known)
There is no permanence in this world
An illusion

So the blood runs down for you, I convulse and cry for you, I taste the tears off your soft soft skin

Gone in the morning light.

i get lonely when i smell you
i never loved anything more then when i am ******* you
but someday i will **** you, or you will **** me
inevitable
thats why i cried today, while you held me tight
tears slide down
your hands slide down
convergence
i miss you already

Antelope island


we walked, out
sand, tall grass and nothing you wanted to say
you held my hand on the dead beach
nothing lives here
am i blind?
i loved you, i always love you
i apologize for being lazy, ironic finally
perhaps my place is established
inland winds of saline, why do we live here
(you always wanted me to be happy)
(you will never know how sorry i am)

or we don’t you will be gone tomorrow
(or you don't, you will be gone tomorrow)

I have never died so much
You thought about it and created a machine for me
With my name
You left me a part of us

logical, but heartbreak is hard to measure.
the little death.

i am lonely here.

without you.

You always look so sad in the dark, he said.

which is the lesser grief?

to stay, with all the pain of misunderstanding? with all the heartache, stress and tears...the suspicion and jealousy...and all the relentless fear. fear of failing you, fear of inadequacy, fear of disappointment.

fear that one day you will turn away loveless.

but if i leave you to go cold again, to escape the inevitable pain, will i be able to stop loving you? will i imprint your face on every stranger walking these streets? can my body erase all memory of your hands?

i fear i will be haunted by those long slow mornings...held so tightly i dreamed that when your heart would stop, so would mine.

Clean break

doesn't quite work when you owe me
money time life disrupted, off balance, betrayed

the taste of your skin, i remember
a little girl in a shiny dress all those years ago
so pretty, wanted you, so far out of your league,
surprised but slumming it, but with love, so much love the bravest girl in the world I took you by storm never looked back.

perhaps a bit of defiance and anger. but i wanted to believe, and i did. i always did.

i am dangerous, you are dangerous, we can and do cause trouble.

tigers are known in these parts. believe me, I will have empathy, even as you burn.

and i will love the ghost