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Illuminae Xscar Dec 2018
Beautiful muscles against me
Hold me down

Hold my hand

I can feel the street in you
The cold, the darkness

And the joy, I love your joy
So proud, my panther boy
You invented swagger

And maybe sometimes arrogance
You prowl angry and alone

Such beautiful eyes, predatory
Death, ****** or love
There is no looking away

I understand freezing, struck, mesmerized

Yet I slide against you, delirious
You speak my language, our language
Beautiful wild thing

How could I love anything else?
Illuminae Xscar Aug 2018
The distance between us cycles
far and close
you won’t let me go sometimes, and i get restless

You taught me to love you, and that may have been a bad idea
or, i learned to love you, maybe another bad idea

the fall and collapse of empires
are what i see when we make plans

promises and intentions turned to dust

lies, manipulation, just to get out clean

we aren’t clean

you call me monster
and i am

but you taught me, and you know

salvation comes from love, and I only do that on Tuesdays
Illuminae Xscar Jun 2017
dark and defined shadows
created from clarity of the light

electricity and chaotic confusion
born amidst smoke and your unreadable eyes

my winter eyes still frozen
from the death-chill laid upon them
when the wind rushed up from the house
of endless dying, no ease of pain
eternal damnation
eternal stagnation
where lovers only number one
where the lamentation goes unheeded
land of relentless mortal summer
nothing and everything left of you

I hunted, you touched me
I fell victim to my sacrifice
Now my game is no longer my own

haunted by your words,
what was ever real in your eyes?
over and over
i hear your words over and over
i watch our scenes over and over
where did i fail

repetition, i am stuck in winter
bright sun, again
your unreadable eyes
Illuminae Xscar Jan 2017
Swallow the cries
Red slash drawn across pale pulsing throat
Blue mist before her eyes, are her eyes

You are blue and white and gold
Cybel's cold fire, electric
My unknowing prophecy, hey you
You are the cruel mirror
The careless mistake, I knew better
I know better still, bitter still
I will drink this even now, even tomorrow
Even while the daemons cycle and play
Circle and pray

Their mistress will grow wiser
Surely this iteration, she will be wiser
She swallows,
What is the difference choking down
Tears or *****, anyway?
Illuminae Xscar Jan 2017
She paints her nails
the color of sadness
fade and shadows
live this again

things go wrong
no whisper safe
no wiser,
go back to sleep for a thousand years

back to a wall
echoes in the park
empty walks, shades of blue
she is all wrong again

last prayer before morning
i miss my homeland
Illuminae Xscar Oct 2016
Nothing to be said
what you said to her
Little notes to her about your day or hers
I wonder if you remember me most of the week
Except to worry
She was always in your thoughts and fervent sadness
This is not jealousy, just a tiny tinkling sadness
clockwork that stopped, just a last dry tick
i am sorry she is gone, and i failed us
you struggle to summon chats about the weather
and my preschool struggles with addiction
you do it with love and courage
and no conviction, just a carrying on, keep breathing
we have appointments to keep
Illuminae Xscar Oct 2016
All the way to the back
Keep it cold
Mysteries move amidst the crowd
Wake of Leviathans
Pull through, who has your back?
grey friends, placeless, orbits askew
you are a perihelion, a vertigo of swarm technology, existing to exist,
why, why breathe, why currents running tracks, find the summer still, still here
She has blue eyes, is this the future. pulled from the past, so close to dead
one last shot.
Failed itch of v vs. w who wins, deflation, unimpressive
die for this or ever saved by the prince, is the glass coffin too battered?
Did the witch win after all these years, these fractured candy colored clouds,
even death may die
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