If for one second you thought I forgot about world war 1
if for one second  you thought I forgot about the war of Vietnam
can't we see that war doesn't solve none of our problems
so while you sit at home saying how great your country is
take a step back and look at the destruction we give
if for one second you thought I forgot about world war two
if for one second you thought this poem  was about you
then you hear what I'm saying and I'm calling on you
this ***** gotta stop
but wait it's fine its not happening over here your just apart of the problem and while this **** still here
I use serve my country and realized I'd be come a killer that every bullet in my quiver would rip through a body causing shrapnel splinters
I have no faith war because It hasn't solved ****
its just a money making scheme and our taxes play a part in it
if for one second you thought I forgot about 9/11
if for one second you thought I forgot about the war in Iraq
cant we see that this country doesn't have our back
Were next on the list and I really hate to say it but this country ain't **** but someone had to say it!

The things I see with my own two eyes
I mean to me its really no surprise drugs and prostitution to my left and my right
cops killing people in the  middle of the night its a  crazy crazy  world and I can see that I'm blessed
can't really let my mind be frustrated with stress
I see people in the world putting there life to the test
and I'm just out here sipping on my drink trying to figure out what's best or if I am next on the list to give in to the stress
body all sweaty but she thinks I am fresh
don't think of the past keep those feelings compressed
I see world full of unlimited possibilities so who really knows what's next
so do I see or am I blind and in the future moments what will I find
I mean in this moment I am feeling just fine just on a quest to claim whats mine  
couldn't stand the military or stand in a line
I seen a path  for my feet and it was all just mine
chasing after life is one hell of a climb but at the top will I be satisfied
two promises in life which is you live and you die so how do I wanna spend the rest of this time
so many questions I ask and the answers are mine my philosophy of laugh now cry later is what I have found
so many people shake your hand with the daps and the pounds
only in the next few moments they are putting you down I'm king of the world but I'm not wearing a crown
so many say there happy but inside they just frown
I see a world with a square table but with me its round
i don't know where I'm going but I won't hold you down
I knew this was coming just didn't know how
Now it all makes sense and I just gotta let it out sometimes I just sit around and laugh at myself because we'd all just be lying if we said we didn't need our help!
Books to be read but they just sit on the shelf  people say there real but most are just ELF's
we lie so much because we've been lied to so much I mean cant we see enough is enough!

the fright to not write is what holds me back
but this gonna stop imma let the pen go let my thoughts feelings expression flow
let it be my muse my love my ups and my downs on this pad imma let y'all ****** know
if its me myself and I then **** it imma fly
just be me  with no need for reply
I feel I'm more of an observer on this planet
I dnt hate the world or the people that are in but it seems everyone's out to use you or change you to there advantage  
honestly I can't stand it
something in me is jus repulsed with the  our current society
am I apart of the change or am I just like everyone else
I mean we all are the same but different in ways every person is unique with so many talents displayed
I hear people talk about being a part time slave and in this day in age its the politics and mass corporations who are our owners but all this has had to happen for the new chapter of life
I will not bow to a man because of his stripes you are not my ruler I mean how could you be
I'm looking for a god but **** no one can show me
so imma just do me my spirit is calling
I dnt know how I got to this place but I believe I have purpose and a calling
to love again is not something I see in the future
because looking at people is like watching an animal show on discovery we are wild ****** passionate emotional  beings teachers and learners  
but easily brain washed by what we see and hear on TV
I dnt see democrats or Republicans I dnt see white black Mexican Chinese gay straight or bi with my eyes I see human beings
I see one race I see one love I see culture but in this world all we see is the color of someone's skin or there sexuality and if it's not like us then we judge them relinquish the judgement and open your eyes to the human race and realize we are all one!

Life is a journey with so many hurdles sometimes I wanna hide in my shell but I'm no ninja turtle  
wet these ****** up like squirtle breaking out like fat hidden up under a gurtle
looking at life in amazement when tree comes around yeah sometimes I wanna blaze it
poetry is passion so my life I dedicate it they can take away my freedom but not what I write nor what I think  
I'm going crazy say I need to see a shrink so they can shrink me down to agree with what they think
you have your version of the truth but then again everyone does so who can say I'm wrong just me kuz I'm the one who made it up

I dnt know what it is about her but I'm hella intruged I can't put my finger on it but for some reason I'm  amused  
its like she knows what I'm thinking without me reveling the proof
I'm trying to think of the next move as if I have a plan but all I'm doing is over thinking
I gotta ease up and jus let things fall into place what is meant for me will be mine without the effort of thinking  or judging
I need to open my eyes wide and just be grateful  life will flow relationships will come and go
I just need to be graceful with the life force flow
I am strong enough to handle everything that comes my way
so although im trying to figure her out there's no need to stress no need to wonder kuz whats meant for me will be mine no matter what I'm thinking so its a relief to know that jah is in control!

You got me outta my element going to library's and reading books
dam you may be some sort of heart stealing crook
but that's OK if I'm being robbed at least its by you
I'm smiling as I write this said I need inspiration to write and everyday I've been with you it flows like the Nile  
I can be myself around you I feel as if there's nothing to hide you wore my  hat and that's something so small but I really I liked  
you've  opened up to me and I've opened up to you  and that's not something I normally do
funny thing is I've only just met you.
People stared as if I'm not suppose to be with you but that only draws me closer and makes me want you your young but
I would think your my age
I dnt know where we are but it feels like the same page
as we sat at the park and geese came up I liked how you ran to me and climbed up my arm
my thoughts were racing and I just wanted to kiss  I dnt know how else to put it but I think I  like this
the weird thing is your not really my type but then again what is my type it really doesn't matter kuz it just feels right  
and i haven't had these feelings for quiet some time!
What are you up to do I really wanna know or should I jus not ask questions and let the feelings flow  don't wanna be hurt again or be cast in the snow I know how it feels when the flowers won't grow
but the little things you do I really  like  

who knows what's coming

I guess that's all up to the father of time!

Jah!

Omw from class we stopped at the park
the geese were out the sky was blue
we swang on the swings it was jus me and you
now I dnt know where this going but everything is cool you make me laugh and your smile truly compliments you
I held your hand but it wasn't my plan hope she doesn't feel that I'm going to fast
hearts been broken but that's somewhere in the past you made me realize I was never important to my ex
I met you day ago and you've already helped me so much but I jus wanna take my time there's no need to rush
when you read this poem I hope that you blush  
you seem like a girl with whom I can entrust dam
I guess its true I may have a bit of a crush
now I dnt wanna be a fool but if so its cool
I mean I'll still see you around or maybe at school
If you couldn't tell I'm a Lil shy holding your hand did make the butters fly but I don't know what that means but at least I tried
Didn't see today nor yesterday coming but it feels right!

Dam your smile and even your style even when your frowning I still feel butterflies
what's on your mind I mean what will I find if we ever let our lives fall into line
I want to know you so that maybe I can show you a few things that a man is supposed to
I missed you while you were gone but seeing u today made it worth more then every song
my hearts singing to you and I'm jus hoping u catch the melody the chorus or even the hook
I mean I dnt got a lot of money but baby just look I can't call you by ur name  I wanna make you my dame

I mean I know I just met you but I'm wondering if your feeling the same are we two deer eating from the same plains
I mean to me even writing this I feel a Lil lame but I really like you babe and was hoping you'd let me explain
I ain't no **** or player so this is not jus a game I'm not jus lookin for a come up or get rich quick scheme
I mean I went to see a movie and me and you appeared on screen or maybe it wasn't the movies girl I swear you were in my dream
I think im trippen a Lil bit but I was hoping you'd catch me or I be the bone and like dog youd go fetch me I'm writing all this cause I get nervous and words get outta place but that's because the shine or just the beauty of your grace

I'm the loverboy  without the love and I'm jus really thinkin your the next one up!
Been hurt for awhile and trying to be man I've been in denial but the more I lie to myself the more the pain piled
but I wanna take a shot and was hoping with you
your smile your personality dam even your body to
dam even if we can't be together at least let me tell you

dam girl your beautiful!

These suicidal thoughts are not even mine
its ugly *** force that's wants  to take what's mine
but this demon can't have it
so I gotten keep spittin
jus so I can grasp it ******* myself and I need to let up
I'm champion and there is no giving up
I'm the best *** the rest I'm just writing this **** just to get it off my chest
and if you ever had these thoughts yo put em to rest
kuz everydays a new day for you to do your best
*** this demon it can not have my life
that's not the way I'm going kuz I'm headed to the top
I got the world on my finger and its spinin like a top
there's no such things as failure
I'm shipin cargo  guess you can call me a sailor
ain't never been to jail so I ain't speaking to the bailer
suicide thoughts yeah they all end to day
I'm on the rode to success some how some way!

My mind won't shut up so I gotta let it out
its time for us to stand up and fight for life.
growing up all I knew was pain and as I get older the **** is the same. they want me going crazy got me tryna fry my brain and the more I stop tryna ryhme my mind won't stop playing like a tape
I guess this is what I asked for and I'll die for what I believe in
kuz they may take my life but they can never take Stephen
I will always be the same nope I'll never change there is no tomorrow there's only right now
so before I go imma let it all out
*** you if your not down for the cause
keep slaving for them ****** as if that's the cause
love is my religion  why do I sound mad kuz I  grew up ******* poor and I'm still in the same state watching my moms go to work every dam day jus to feed my *** and when she was living with Me all I used to do was *****
Now the shoes on the other foot and I have to hear this ****
I pushed her to get a job as if it was right
now its my turn to do something I won't stand down ight
**** these ******* and who ever they are
they dnt give a **** about us jus as long as we keep buying these cars and payin  these taxes you have a since of freedom but this place ain't free its a motherfuking slum of a place that we call the land of the free
**** the government and anyone who's for it.
Love is my religion and they ain't got no room for it!

I have the spirit of a champion
with the heart of a lion
idk why you can't speak truth
why you gotta keep lien
my wings are unseen but I believe I am flying
inspiration through deep observation  I'm on the rode to success I jus gotta be patient  
I want true love from a women  not jus a quick ****** relation
I'm talking deep intimate *** with hella *******'s
but an average man deserves an average chick  
I believe I'm superb that's why I don't have no chick
kuz most of these girls are used to average **** that's quick and hella ready to  jump ship.
I man enough to say I want to cuddle and ****
I want the long walks talking about absolute non sense  
I don't wanna spend money see I wanna spend time and let mine and your life fall heavily in line
But nowadays you women don't deserve it
you think I was put on this earth to be your servant
No your my equal my whole other half and if you think
I'm bout to lay back and let you run all over my *** that used to be me but I left him the past  where I will leave your ***
kuz just like you deserve love and  want to be treated with respect don't think
I don't deserve the same just kuz I'm a man!  

I am a champion and a champion deserves a champion!

Its a blessing to be a father but not in this world
I cherish and love my baby girl but I'm not apart of her life due to the funds and so its easy to see this world is messed up
there's so much I can teach her given the chance
honestly I wish I would've kept my **** in my pants
kuz no father should have to go through this
no court should determine whether I should see my daughter
I'm broke dnt even got a quarter  and if money determines the worth of a father then it's sad sad thing that I gave birth to my daughter regardless of the fact I'm still a father and that's the greatest blessing a man can
be but I've been deemed unworthy because I have no money
obviously I'm worthy kuz there's something I can't see theres reason why I'm father
kuz there's something the I seen in me so thank you lord for letting me spread my seed and you will be the reason on why I succeed!

They say listen to your elders so that young do what they do basically pass down the slavery of the corporate pursuit I dnt want to wear a tie I dnt want to wear a suit I wanna just live like the birds and the bees do where there's a since of community unless your messing with there crew but we are more intelligent then the birds and the bees but there's no since of community so the wars will proceed we live in a world of the me me me instead of coming together as the we we we so listen to your elders I'd rather not kuz there only passing down what they've been taught this  is just my opinion but I believe that we've been caught and the only way to break free is to make our own plot now the knowledge they have is not all wrong I mean they have been here awhile but still haven't caught on you hear em  say a bunch of I should've did this or I shoulda did that and I don't wanna get old and repeat all of that life's to short not to chase your dream so I'm running hella hard with a head full of steam and if I crash then I'll know that I was wrong but until I get that feeling this is the course im on!

I feel your pain I see your strain but I don't wanna stress the situation but to me this world is in deep devastation
my problems don't differ from anyone around me we are all in this together or at least we should be our world has no place for  independent thinkers they say your crazy or your weird  because you are a free thinker
I don't believe what they tell me I don't believe I should have to pay to live free
my thoughts are driving me crazy or there just pushing me to sanity I've turned my back on this type of economy and in my head everything makes sense to me
but what's the use of speaking if no one is listening
what's the use of a brain if it isn't learning
I dnt have a lot of things but I don't feel poor but it seems like opportunity refuses to knock on this door is it hidden can no one else see the big picture
I'm not talking about a religion or even a scripture
I'm talking about true peace true love the things that we are all made of
but have been suppressed by fear they get away with ****** lust and have taught to us that If u wanna make it to heaven you gotta follow these rules
when its in our nature to go against the rules.
Fools we are being used as tools we are just entertainment to the ones who supposedly make the rules
and the more I quest for the truth the more it appears
and so  I don't believe I'm crazy I don't believe I can be described by the humans on this planet
I feel I am a loving caring being but this world is trying to take that from me  
they want us to turn on each other and be the spark of the warfare we must unite despite our differences  in opinions  or differences in lifestyles
we must unite because we are united I'm not talking about america or any other country I'm talking about us as the human race we are all equal no one is better then you or me
not because they have money or anything in this world
no one is better then anyone so stop trying to be and just accept that we are one
no matter your skin tone race religion sexuality or anything
that this world has taught us to judge we have a brain and therefore we analyze and I feel like everything that we see has been falsified
they don't want us to succeed they want us afraid and  scared life doesn't have to be this way but I can't make you understand but in due time I think we'll all understand!

I am the universe looking at the universe from my perspective
and on deeper inspection
I find that we're infected by a system of lies and deception
we can't make up our minds without others acceptance
and lying in the wreckage is a beautiful soul that has been greatly neglected
why must we chase a piece of paper
when everything within us is already shaped to perfection
on even deeper inspection I've learned and accepted that no mistakes or failure determine my fate  
I'm in control not the mayor or the governer of the state
we all are one eating from the same plate some small some big  but in all reality were all in the same state
some asleep some awake our society has bread a culture of fakes not willing to change because were afraid of our fate
immortal we are and this body of ours is nothing without the soul driving and steering jus like a car we are not who we think or know we are
we are far far beyond the mobility of this car!

Not many understand or get how I feel
our minds are being washed by this corporate treadmill
we run and run but to avail we only work to provide them wealth
we ain't getting no richer but we fail to develop the picture
well three strikes there out I'm an ump or a pitcher so Im calling the shots and striking them out  
step of the treadmill and look from a far our lives are being controlled and we think
well
that's jus the way things are  
we are life and I'm tired of running every time you look up someone's tryna sell you something
yo check this out its new best thing man **** all that were the only best thing
me and you john sally and billy to I've made this a joke kuz I'm laughing at it to!
What is our world coming to or should I say where is going back to kuz history's on replay and its happening on the media right in front of you
I'm not alone with these thoughts and thank god I'm not
unless u dnt have brain and then well its not my fault  
Keep running on the treadmill like a captured hamster
then you will  see that you are really captured !

The struggle ain't real its only in mind
I jus gotta live my life not yours and mine
taken this life one day at a time walk-in down the street smelling fresh pine  
life is a hill and I'm on tha incline searching for a dream that's plauging my mental
thanking god everyday 4 this pen and the pencil  
don't gotta change the world  jus change the way I see it
I'm not asking you to agree or even believe it but this dream of mine I will achieve it
I'm given out love and hope you receive it  
best days sitting in rays smoking Cali haze watchin people misbehave!
Chillin in my ways don't ever wanna  change
but life has away of making you go its way
but its all good I'm still the same.

Same ole Lil boy eating pb&j

Took a trip down to Chinatown  jus to take a browse  
walk in and I'm instantly mesmerized by the art  I found
the culture with so many secrets
I feel like its my job to leak it
even though I'm black and I can't even speak it
I feel a connection hidden beneath it
the honor and loyalty  they portray has me sprung in some sort of way!  
Life is amazing with so many different cultures
I jus want to sit down and absorb all the culture
sittin in a tree posted like a vulture just taking it all in this life of emotions  
little bitty things make me happy like sittin and postin
watching life go by  4 wheels as the motion
I'm jus posted in a tree writing these poems hoping one day I will get to expose them!
Life is bigger then the money we chase
life is better when were sharing our plates
the world would be better not divided by states and our lives would be better if it weren't focused on race.
I love my life even with my mistakes may not have everything I want
but at least I have my faith!

Its not that I think my **** dnt stink
just
why should my **** stink anymore then yours!

See I'm you and your me and were everything  from this earth to the stars that we see
everything that you want is inside of thee to many religions to decide which one is right
I've come to the conclusion that all are falsified
I believe we are god and god is us and the only one we can trust is the voice inside of us  
do your thing  sing, run ,shitd  climb a tree life's to big to be defined by a book  to me honestly it was written by crooks
I'm not bashing your belief I'm jus saying really look    
we make the change no one does it for us we are god and no one can take that from us
we lie so much kuz we've been lied to so much so the truth when heard is a joke to us
Wake up FAM I'm calling  on all of you because like I said  your me and I'm you
Think about it!

See I'm shy and I'm meek because I think before I speak
I'm the head of the Indians so they call me head chief
smoking on that natural but I'm far from the natural used to be a skaterboy so  you can call me Mr radical    
I'm broke to society no money in my pockets but that could never stop the  blasting of my rocket  
no man can hold me down no women will lift me up  I'm just a man thinking of a higher plan where we all stand hand in hand  
I'm baked my eyes heavy from the weight dreamin up a better place when I think of the words my minds soon erased  
why are we paying to  live when life was givin to us freely I may sound a Lil crazy but I think were all missing some screws
I dnt run with anybody I'm not bangin no crew I'm jus young man trying to spread the truth
its not something that's taught but is inside of you  its the Lil voice that's always calling you to stand up and say *** your job and do what you really wanna do
so maybe we're all shy and meek but that's OK kuz we all jus been Asleep listen to what I'm saying life ain't cheap but life doesn't have a price if you get what  I mean!
We all are  one being searching for the same things besides the ones in charge shitin on our dreams  
they  don't want us to change kuz were ****** with there scheme they got you believing everything on the screen instead formulating your opinion and chasing  your dream
we are in a stream of delusion tainted with illusion causing mass confusion  religions misused to keep us  confused and infused in a certain set of rules
if heaven were real we'd all miserably fail but because of the divine were all posting bail only you can free yourself from a life of hell its within all of us
we are the keys to our cell!

I can't bow down to no man or no form of law besides natures law I'm a creature with thoughts love and passion but this world here today jus seems so old fashioned  they say we need leaders or else who will guide we dnt need leaders we need teachers that teach not for a price we need unity of nations where we're all  one tribe  kuz in the end it will be the I and I  everyone says when you die you will be judged but I really dnt think so I think that was created by us I mean our whole life  we are judged from the way we walk to the way talk  you must conform to a standard or ur not up to par I mean  life was given to me so why should I have to earn it I didn't ask to be in this world so it must be divine appointment  there's a reason why were all here  and its truly to live as the birds do   and we can if we truly all wanted to!

America the great more like America the fake see my country has gained by taking from others plates feeding us lies on  how were so great and the average american sees it this way! Why is our government so focused on every others country's issues instead of seeing  the disturbance that's goes on in its own state yes we are blessed to be born in such a place where you may pursue your life's dreams but that comes with a price  we say no to immigration but why wouldn't the average smart person in another country  not see the potential in america I mean we have robbed them of there resources and denied them a sustainable way to live. So why the media portrays this great way of life everything you see has been falsified to keep us in line. They show us the terror in other country's so that you and I will fear anything that's not american oh how we've been blinded to truly what is. They have set up a system which enslaves the who'll population not by mistake but by deep deliberation in order to make money you must first go in to debt I mean to me that right there makes not an ounce of since! So the average person will spend the rest of there life chasing a piece of paper trying to pay of a substantial amount of debt when in all reality that's not how a life should be spent. Everyone should have if we all were created equal which we were so how can anyone be the boss or be in charge of anyone your parents aren't in charge when you become an adult  but guides  so in turn we are all teachers and learners writers and poets we all are successful right here in this very moment but the fact that we have been blinded and taught that we have to achieve success  we already have if your alive breathing kick in it getting along with those around you have achieved success  in other words we are success passion love hate terrorist we are everything in one with a vast amount of potential but has been summed down  to a piece of paper that's our success a vast amount of paper! We call ourselves civilized  
Foolish!

No longer afraid to say I don't know what I'm doing no longer weighed down by this life I'm pursuing I've given up on trying to gain this world everything we've built will not last but us as a people the greatest treasure the priceless jewel will ever last as I sit and I ponder I'm only left to wonder when will we awake from this negative and selfish slumber when will we see that the true treasure of this world is loving one another as I look into the crowd I dnt see friends or color I see my long lost sisters and brothers perfect we are but we have been tormented by a judgmental world and left with scars wearing several mask throughout the day jus to play the part I am because we are but honestly right now we aren't so how can I be if we aren't doing this together  we as a society  need a wake up call everyone's talking about flexing on someone but no one has achieved success with out the help of others! We can not continue on this downward spiral that money has brought upon us. the world it self is nature and if we evolved from the earth and have the capacity to think and know the difference between right and wrong wouldnt you think that we as a people would  see the wrong in what has taken place for the last 100 years since the age of the industrialism money is not of nature for it was created by man in which to enslave the whole population "free all nations and then have them enslave themselves to the big corporations" that have all the money! There is no reason why anyone on  the face of the earth shouldn't have shelter water and food to eat every night but since we go to work and propagate there company's  the rich get richer and the poor get wiped out due to there lack of having money. So how ethical or human like is it for someone to be denied the necessities of life  be cause of a piece of paper that truly holds no value but to those who say its a Necessity to human life. Money is not a NECESSITY of life! But we as a human race have caused this problem  and we as a human race together will have to fix it!

Have you ever been the guy with no money and everyone tells you your broke and you need a job well in all honestly the ones with all the money  are broke there broke because at the center of there heart is money we pray for something that's truly a man made creation  when instead we should be praying for growth and understanding and as I've grown and learned  I've noticed that money doesn't make us happy its us that make us happy our friends our family but families friends lives have been torn apart chasing after something that has no significant value besides what we put on it. And we as a world have somehow put it at the center  of our core forgetting each other forgetting the earth and will do jus about anything to get it!  And wen we do get it  we still feel empty you may get the new car the new phone the new whatever and feel you have achieved something  but until we connect back with the divine the nature of who we truly are the very essence of our breathing  will we be happy they label us rebels terrorist or anti government but we're none of those titles we are simply humans that have been enslaved by a group of people that have  no interest in our ideas our lives  or our future they are simply interested in a piece of paper

A piece of ******* paper!

Before we can respect anything we must respect ourselves. We must accept our flaws accept our mistakes and learn from the past and not let it retake. Get along with everyone but dont follow their  ways. Be yourself at all times regardless of what they say. See we all have messed up and sinned  different ways but we judge each other as if were perfect and havent done anythang. Play the lead role in your life but in mine your just  character. I respect everyones choices i wont hold you to your mistakes but i will inspect your character. I wont get along with everyone but i will keep the peace. But some people you gotta say good bye'let em go just to keep the peace. Some people claim to be real but on the inside there fake. They are only out to hurt  and think from you what they can take. I will no longer walk with my head held low. I will no longer fit in and jus go with the flow. See my god is the wind and when his storm starts to blow there can be not questions asked with him i gotta go!

Why do i crave  for help but refuse to open up why do i feel like i have to be strong and never open up. I feel as if i have to take this world on all by myself. But lord you say i dnt have to so i ask that you lend me your help because i feel all alone and i cant do this myself. I feel unworthy i feel angry i feel depressed i feel so lonely even standing around people who are willing to help. break me lord god  let your presence  be felt. Because i feel like that old book collecting dust on the shelf that no one wants to read! Even with your calling o father i feel as if i will never succeed . I feel like everything is coming agaisnt me and trying to drag me down.  Why cant i scream out for help lord why cant i make a sound. What is keeping me from you lord what is holding me down. Show me the way lord god remove this grey cloud.  Blind me lord god to this world let me only look to you. You say that  you will help well im relying on you to.  You say you will change me from the inside out then why on the inside do i feel all this doubt. Why cant i express myself in the way that you would. Why does everything i say and do seem to be absolutely no good.  Lord i am trying my best but maybe thats not enough. I get over one problem and then theres another to back it up. Is my life just a struggle and im just supposed  to be tough. You say to look to you when times get rough. Well im staring you down i am yelling at you from the top of my lungs i cant do this alone lord god yes ive had enough! When will you come through and shower me with the truth. When will i walk in your will and do what you have  called me to. When will your joy in me overtake this doubt this anger and depression and shine through  me like a light at the intersection!  Lord im tired of feeling like im so unworthy and feeling rejected. You say no matter what i do to you i am always accepted. Then why won't that sink in my heart and why wont my mind accept it. Why was i born in this world and only feel neglection. I am broken lord god and i just have to accept it.  And im solely looking to you father god kuz i know that only you will fix it!

I am the thing that haunts you in the middle of the night i am regret 'defeat ' i am ugly sometimes. I am here to show you the mistakes that youve done. But when you dont learn from me i will re occur. I am the past ofcourse and some of me is ugly and some of me is good. Do not beat yourself up with me but learn from me you should. You can not change me for they are the choices you made. But you can be forgiven from me but thats a choice that you make. Kuz god was there for every choice that you've made but you wouldnt turn to him so you kept making the  same mistakes.  You kept beating yourself up saying why wont this change. Thats kuz you weren't  willing to take a step in the direction he paved.  You just kept it up trying to do it your way.  But theres gonna come a time when theres only so much u can take. Then you will see that there Is no other way.  Dont give up on yourself but give in to his way and i guarantee when you do your future will be that brighter day! So dont dwell on me  wishing that i would change. Because i am the past so look the futures way and begin to make those changes starting today!

Lord  i will only look to you for the anwsers i seek. Even when i feel like your not listening you've heard every word ive speaked.lord you are everything from the water flowing in a creek. To the trees dancing in the breeze. You eliminate the odor of sin in my life so you are lifes febreze. You only see the best in me while people only see the worst. But there judgements are irreleva"nt because you lord come first. You are in control so to you my life has been rehearsed. So you know everything that has happened.and in my future whats going to occur. So my life is in your hands so i crave your direction. I will make mistakes but when i do i will ask for your correction. Because if you called me right  now would i be ready for inspection. You are my quaterback and every play you've made has been perfected. And i am the receiver  so my job is to catch the  reception. Or will i be to distracted by the defense of the enemy whos only plan is  interception. He plans to knock me of the route that you intend me to run.  But his bumps dont matter because i was constructed and instructed by the holy one!  So the play that you call will be the one thats true and clear. So when i take off from that line  the defense will push and pull but i will not adhere to fear. I will stay on my route while you whisper in my ear break left. Break right. Jump. Now my feet are in the air. And how im going to land is not always clear. but the play that you've called is one of truth and so divine. That even though i dnt know where im about land when i look up and catch the ball and stop worrying about the defense. And stop worrying bout my weakness.ive just scored your touchdown and satans been defeated.

It doesnt make you a man when you raise your hand and say look baby im bout to make you understand because she opened her mouth and used her voice and yall didnt agree or make the same choice doesnt make you a man when you go out cheat honestly homeboy you just accepted defeat you tell her your sorry there wont be a repeat she falls for your lies and all your deciet baby open your eyes and begin to see that hes not a man he truely is weak he'll try to cover it up by being all sweet he'll do things he never does like rubbing your feet and youll fall right back in when you need to retreat kuz no women alive deserves to be beat

These emotions i have for this girl thats not even mine. Its like im falling in love again for the very first time. I mean from the way that she walks to things that she talks' she knows exactly what to say to encourage and keep me in line. Now right now shes just a friend but god i HOPE for  more. I mean is she the one o father' is this the blessing of women for me  you've had in store. I mean she seems to have it all in order but has revealed to me shes is torn. When she comes around i know the wisdom will leak. When she comes around it is wisdom thats speaked. She is strong women of god a blessing from you to me. The fact that she still talks to me regardless of what she sees is something i cant put my finger on kuz she sees something in me. Our relationship is cool kuz not only is she beautiful she a friend too. So i ask you father let this relationship bear the fruit you intend it to kuz i cant keep chasing women nor do i want to! Am i overreacting to a little attention but the women ive described to you she fits the definition. Should i go for this girl i mean whats holding me back. Hours on the phone pillow talking like in high school she doesnt have to try her personality is just  cool. I dont want to ruin the friendship i dont wanna express how i feel to soon. So maybe i should just sit back like before and just play it cool! Heart on my sleeve  so its hard to keep these feelings inside. Play it cool i tell myself but i just wanna see if she feels the same. If she gets away and i never expressed how i felt it will only be me to blame.

Theres not a title in this world that id love more then being called your man but girl before we get that far there's somethings you gotta  understand.  One im not perfect and two i dont always have a plan. See this life has struggles that won't always go along with your plan. I just wanna let you know no matter the struggle i will always hold your hand. See once you give me that title its no longer just about you. Its about us and what were tryna do. Now if we cant work together  kuz you only have your point of view. Then dont ever give me that title  because i see its all about you. we must work together  for this thing to work.  Do you expect everything to be handed to you or are you willing to put in the work. See we may start off and everything is great but when when we have our first disagreement  are  you gonna retreat or are you gonna try to solve the problem on where we disagreed. I will never Force you to stick around because the door is always open. The man is supposed to provide but i cant give you more then what i have. Everything can be taken away from me in an instant so my love and personality is the only thing i really  have. So if those two things are not enough then that title is one thing you gave but shouldn't  have!

They say family over friends but some friends are closer then fam. To me its the realationship youve built no matter friend or fam.  To me its all about who really gives a dam. I mean does you fam really care about you or is it just that their blood runs through you. Do your friends really care or are they just tryna use you. Its a matter of time before there true colors shine through. All im tryna say is becareful who you clinge to. Because all the time you've spent trying to fit in to your fam and friends was a waste of time and vain pursuit. So i say get in where you fit in no matter wat others think of you. And that place where you fit in is with the who created and died for you! Every one has there opinion and everyones going to judge you but why care what they say when they dont have a real clue

Unless i ask for your advice dont give me any. Because you only want to judge the life im living. Your opinion is yours so keep it to yourself. Unless i open up my mouth and ask you for your help. See you only want to know about me so you can gossip to your so called friends. Cant you see the devil has you trapped and dwelling  in sin. Well im here to speak the truth so this is where the gossip ends.  You are not my friend and i no longer wanna fit in. I dnt wanna hear about others if the postive is not within. See you fail to realize the one you call your friend is the one whos talking behind your back when your not around. Instead of talking me up your always talking me down.  You say your real you say your different your the homie for life.  But i see it different now kuz you talk behind my back and gossip was the knife. Im tryna make a change. But the more i hang around  you its as if you wanna keep me the same. I can not point the finger at you kuz im the one to blame. But that being said i see where i gotta change i gotta cut you off and end this gossip game!

Some thoughts in my head i should prolly leave alone everyday is a struggle to do right in a world full wrong no one knows why were dealt the hand were given. Its not the way you start but how the race gets finished. My life is a beat and im jus vibein to the rhythm but my life is not perfect so im not always on rhythm. I do the best i can to keep my head up but i can not deny sometimes im fed up. Times in  life when i jus wanna give up. Harder on myself then anyone i know. No need for negative comments you can leave them at the door. Flawed and imperfect like everyone i know. Emotions on display but  not jus for show.  I dont gotta say im real cuz those actions are shown. People say there real with secret intentions. Im jus asking for the truth not your lies and deception. Look in the mirror and give your own inspection. Dont let others tell you who you are with there selfish suggestions. You are beautiful  and you sure are worth it.  If no ones ever told you then from me you heard it!

I smoke so much my lungs will never get a brake  inhale exhale purple flowers on the intake.  Trapped in my mind dont think ill ever escape. flying over cities  but i will never wear a cape. mary j is overtaking me i feel like i been *****. But you can't **** the willing so i guess mary got away. They say marijuana  is the gateway but i started with alcohol so the system needs an update. Everyone says there real but their actions are fake. Say they hold there own but there eating from your plate. True actions are shown when the times get rough. Then you find out the real and whos been calling there bluff! Even tough break down kuz at one point even the  tough have enough.  I kick back and smoke kuz i can never get enough i mean  maybe one of these days me and mary will break up.  But  when that day come ill let you know  kuz right  now we still in love! There flowers they bloom! but they call em a drug but its time to re up  let me hit up my plug.

I dont want to be single but i will patiently wait.
Lord whom is the girl that you want me to date.
Ive tried it my way but i havent found that girl whos willing to appreciate .
Ive tried to be sincere and to make it clear.
That i want to love you girl without any fears.
Am i not good enough to a women on earth.
I mean does any female know nowadays what a good mans worth.
Do i gotta cheat  on you to cause a lil hurt.
So that you will stick around and try to make it work. Do i gotta yell at you and fight with you to show that im a man
. I mean why cant we just have conversation  keep it real and get some things understand.  
Doea any female truely even know what they want.
Kuz when they have a good man its just not wat they want. Does a man have to degrade you  and bring to your lowest point.
For you to fall in love when thats not even  the point. Maybe i just see it wrong because thats not what i wanna do.  
I want to hold you kiss you and be gods man to you. But in my generation i feel as love between a man and women has really been *******.
I mean just because your my girl doesnt mean i own you. You've  been heartbroken and lies have been what you are accustomed to.
So when a man opens his mouth and hes speaking out the truth.
You revert back to everything to when youve been lied to. But if you never take a chance then you will always be  the same you.
And you will never find that man whos been standing right in front of you!
So go ahead girl and let  lies have control of you. Let everyone tell you that all men are the same to.
God has placed good men among the bad to.
You just gotta break out of the past kuz it really is controlling you!
Lord how do i love in this generation of  lust.
How do i show a girl im real when her hearts been crushed.
How do i tell her lets slow it down when everyone else is in a rush.
How do i open up to anyone but you for you are the only one i can trust.
Lord help me understand how to live in this world while im still here.
Lord show me how to love and lord you must make it clear.
Lord i know you are close and always near.
But i dnt want be single yes that is one of my fears.
but trying to explain my affections to a female to them my intentions dont appear . But you know my intentions lord the good and the bad so no need to fear.
So even if the one i want doesn't understand  one day she'll see it clear.
Well the'll be no gurantee that i haven't disappeared .
So before you shrug me off listen to me dear
i am who i am because of the god upstairs!
I know that lies have made you fear love and demolished your trust.
You've given up on realtionships because you couldn't relate.
Your fed up with the arguments and daily debate. You say your searching for the pefrect man but he doesn't exist.
See we all come with baggage from the past but act as if it doesn't exist.
But there will come a time when you find a man you cant resist
and he will take on your baggage as if it didnt exist
but will you tolerate his when he lays out list.