I'm a faithful cheater with the ability to lie honestly.
I'm a pacifist with anger management issues.
I only ever hurt the ones I love.
I cry when I'm happy, and I laugh when I'm sad.
I can be an ugly lover, with compassion when I'm mad.
I hold nothing sacred, I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I consider my self agnostic, with a passion to believe.
I have the mind of a demon, and the soul of a saint.
I'm a shy exhibitionist, that can easily frustrate.
I take pleasure in my misery, there's a sadness in my glee.
And all these contradictions, are but a fraction that is me.

Soft hands all covered in scars
reveal a past of lost rewards
of lost childhood broken
dreams once unspoken
alive on the street
and a mind filled with notions
look at emotional tones
in the lonely old souls
that find many alone
with the thoughts of the ******

When the sun rises at the dawn,
hands will rise in a vain attempt to suppress a yawn.
Most will be up and about their day,
I will be wrapped in sleep dreaming of a rainy May.
For all those grave yard shift workers know,
that daylight betrays, in darkness we grow.

I want ideas that blow
the cobwebs from my mind
I want the days to
end up in crazy smiles
I want to think out loud
and capture heavens eyes
I want it wild I want it wild
I want it wild

There are shadows of my former self
left scattered among the paths I've walked.
There are tears painting pictures
torn from all I've loved.
There are words spoken that have awoken
sleeping lies I've cried.
There are dreams forgotten by lonely rhymes
until the time is right.

Dead poets drip off my tongue
Long gone painters delight and inspire
Deceased musicians make me dance
Murdered revolutionaries give me a chance

Its not easy being
wrong so often.
The emotions
involved are messy.
Much more
care is needed.
I mean
well.
I really
do.

Off to buy some *******
So I can get high with my friends in the rain.
Are we running away from life's pain?
Or towards  understanding again?
For some the truth can constrain
For others set free from their bane
Its insane
This drug makes my mind like a train
Derailed and kept unconstrained
Sublimely tempting and vain
  Amen

.

That news
of possible impending death
requires a seat
that gives no comfort,
I pace upon hearing
of the wounds needed to heal,
I reach for the platitudes
I fail..."****"

The whisper of an echo spoken
drums beneath my body broken
All above seen without dreams
held in thoughts burst forth it seems

Sometimes you just
want to rage and gnash and spit
sometimes you just
want to ****
sometimes you have to
**** in front of loved ones
sometimes reading
Bukowski doesnt help

A discussion
About our passion
Feels like an
Assassination of
Our love

Once upon  time
In a mind too far astray
There lived a little monster
I tried hard to keep at bay,,,,,,,,,,,,,

If you see me
on here
and Need
an ear
I'm ALWAYS
  here
to be that
ear

The stars and moon
do shine upon
our sleepless souls
dream as one
sunshine soothes
and darkness hides
behind your eyes
lie deep desires

I was having a nightmare
that you were screaming
and I awoke to find you dreaming
dreaming that you were screaming in my ear
I wish my thoughts were clear
but Im glad I had a pen so near

I am born of earth
a physical manifestation of the howling rage
I am born of sky
a spiritual personification of love
I am born of dream
a labyrinth mind never ending
I am born of tears
to a world with so many fears

I'm reminded of a time
when the angels revolved around me,
pretty little lies I've cried,
sullen little tears I've dried,
why don't you come when I call?
******* all,
******* all,
******* all,,,

A certainty in life
is that you will want
hold on tight.
a certainty in death
are children
unclean and unfed.
a certainty in god
is that he is not
the one you want
and a certainty in dreams
is vividly unclear.

"well" said the story to itself
"i must be a happy story"
"if so, I must be a love story"
"if so, I must be a sad story"
"if so, its a story i will keep to myself"

happiness must surely end
just like a story ends
love ends ,but that depends
does a never ending story end?
sadness, well that's up to time
you feel down just for a while
but that all depends
on when it will end
in this story

"well" said the story to itself
"I must be getting along"
"if so, i will say it in a song"
"if so, lets make a sacrifice"
"if so, we will fight for our lives"

along the way someone will say
"when does it all end?"
sing a song to be strong
sing a song with friends
sacrifice your only life
for a chance to live
living is never easy
when you have to live
in this story

Dance beyond the mystic moon
and further than your dreams
let this river flow on by
in lustful endless streams
kiss me drowning in this water
swallowed by the sea
are all my aching alibis
I swear it wasn't me

I write this poem from nothing
no inspiring thoughts come clear
I write for sake of writing
in hope that someone hears
my heartfelt cries of loneliness
are shallow unwiped tears
these words I write upon this page
are just hollow unkempt fears

I drink coffee
from a mug
that says
"I love tea"
because I have
a healthy sense
of irony

If life is a river
and god is a clown
can a soul be sold for silver?
can a heart in sadness drown?
Can the words I write
upon this page
seem utterly profound?
When all my thoughts
are broken dreams
I've picked up off the ground

I've seen through a cosmic alliance of eyes,
and brought back a truth
from those who have died.
A spiritual race is this mortal man,
beginning as one, but became rival clans.
As time goes by the blood starts to fall,
then stands up a man to call himself God.
God is the angel of death in disguise,
building his churches to spread all his lies.
The blood keeps on spilling
while he just gets rich,
and we keep on saying,
ain't life a *****.

Sleep take me please
put me at ease
dream an adventure
abandon uncensored
if only to wake
with your breath
on my nape

A poet within the midst
of his own creation
born into his own trap
his chosen madness
ticking away
his prophets profoundly
faking the pain
piously urging him
to do it again
till he's sane

I have an anger
but not deep inside
it boils on the surface
like a demon sunrise
violent in glory
defeated in joy
ignited by hatred
laughing I cry

all I'm thinking of is ***
and happiness and gold
all I'm thinking of is love
for me and me alone
all I'm thinking of is laughter
like I had before
all I'm thinking of is getting high
some more some more some more

I cant stop the voices
and I always hear a tone
it's quite common for people
to hear me moan and groan
I like to be happy
but love to feel sad
and I only feel alive
when I'm singing or mad

Freed by the the lies
a mask in disguise.....
you know, I've never
seen your eyes
in this light by the fire
as bright as a sun
dawns perpetual choir
I'm beautifully lost in your smile

My souls is like
a morgue for feelings
feelings made intense
when dreaming
dreaming and
my mind is healing
healing scars
bound in deep
deep thoughts thinking
deep inside
deep inside this mind
thats mine
mine alone
my only soul
my soul

The demons in my plan are blind
never has my soul felt time
in murky discontent its true
to feel a loss known only to you
and when those demons call you first
you will end up with an endless thirst
and when you crave that long lost love
nothing can be done
it's all so simply painful now
a loss known only to you

Picture life
like a dream
it's never always
what it seems
whispers echo
soft as tides
within secrets
lies collide

Open your mouth
take a breath
can you feel it?
in your chest?
It's like lifes last hope
slipping away
death slips in
takes another day
one step closer to darkness
one step closer to hell
one step closer to heaven, maybe
but one step none the less

I should have
done this years ago
my fractured heart
never felt so old
singing songs
about coming of age
thinking thoughts
so I can write them
on this page
I should have
done this years ago
I should have
looked into my soul
I should have
held my head up
all along
and admitted
when I was wrong

A moon in which I'm happy
a sun in which I'm sad
a lovers touch
can make me hurt
and in sadness
make my heart feel glad

Normal thoughts
composed as rhyme
here comes the poetry
one more time
I feel sadness
I feel pain
so here comes the poetry
again and again