We spent all our free time alone
and so our time together cost us.

I have to
admit this
while I can

I will look
for you in
everyone.

You can write about me* you said
and that way I'll never really die

I don't want to write about you I said
*If you can't ******* be here to read it.

Touch your earlobes
let your toes turn to ice
think of ships that sink
and aspirations that
sail into hurricanes.
River down 45th
swim like a taxi
up for air, up for air
flowing between here, there
everywhere, everywhere
fishing for metaphors
catch one, it’s seaweed
cook it up anyway,
you’re starving.
A tower with hands
touching your ears,
losing your feet
in the sea.

Reaching elevator doors
heart crashing to standstill
breath ripped from lips
cold twisting, poison heat

no no no no no scream your ears
pounding the walls, ground floor
down down down shout your hands
clattering earthquake on steel

your eyes swimming in disbelief
ground floor get to ground floor
slow descent watches free fall
where is the ground, tell me please

they are not gone doors opening
are you okay stranger you've terrified
run run get out get out they are not
gone gone gone echo rattles your skull

panic tearing throat from neck
you could have done more say walls
burst outside cars screaming like mother
lost child gone gone gone no no no

suffocating outside too no escape
not today no no no there is no air
black go lights you've hit your head
it echoes gone gone gone gone gone

gone gone gone gone gone

Oh you
feel more
like home
than home.

At the fatal intersection of Jopling and Tyre
you're able to look up through creaking maple arms
to see the flawlessly vertical snow raining down
falling to earth the way you convince yourself you did

your walk home is a distant everyday memory
a dream you wake from as you twist jagged keys
time to think it used to be you used to have time
and now this is your only chance to stop thinking

but today take a breath take a walk take your eyes
look around as if you do not see this everyday
because frankly my dear you haven't in years
looked really at these overgrown maples

the wooden hands that lift you and your hopes
at the fatal intersection of Jopling and Tyre.