we hear people say “it will get better” all the time and that when you are suicidal they say its an illusion. that you think it never gets better but it will. but i believe we use the excuse it gets better when we are older, when we have someone who loves us in a romantic sense, when you’re out of school. but it never does. i still have those poisonous thoughts sink in when I’m with my friends supposedly having the time of my life. i never experience the beauty in life. i know there are beautiful things and places i just have yet to find out how to get those beautiful things make me feel something.