Cradled in the darkness,
but a name without a face.
Something soft, and silver,
with no need to be replaced.

I felt it, like a warmness,
or a chilling of the spine.
That something soft and silver,
might settle in, and be mine.

Then eyes just like a jungle,
that I couldnt find myself in,
buried my heart like a capsule,
a pretty, ultimate, sin.

A perfect small exchange,
between the most glistening of eyes,
or the small twitches of a smiling smirk,
that glitches out the lies.

Translated like a message,
no need to say nor write.
A feeling of belonging,
a feeling that it might.

I felt it in a sudden, and,
in smaller bursts since then.
Of love that seemed irreplaceable,
that I couldn't even sense.

So I caught it like a petal,
or saw it like a star.
This perfect little feeling,
i always feel where
you are.

I lost the reigns I thought I had,
and lost my thoughts in memories.
I've been thinking in past tense,
and I don't think I'm walking forward.

I don't embrace the change with acceptance,
and I don't welcome it with uncertainty.
The ivy on my fingertips is a sure fire sign that
I am wilting by the hour.

I think leeches might have eaten,
what I thought was my heart,
and the mayflies might have collected,
what I thought was my mind.

As I lay and desinigrate,
I become meshed into the wood around me.
I lost the reigns I had, like,
I am not meant for the reality I claimed.

The soft chill of the air at night,
and the spiders on my spine: my fright.
The air seems brisk yet it doesn't touch me,
but I can tell from the way it floats above me.

The reigns, they still left me,
alone in the dark.
Because I couldn't find them,
I couldn't re-spark.

So I am lost like a legend,
a small useless clock.
I am without reason,
my will has been stopped.

My fingertips were paper cuts,
when I told you I didn't love you;
you snatched your hand away.

My voice cracked like broken glass,
when I told you I was sorry;
you turned your head away.

The windshield of your car was cracked,
and inside we were shattered.
You said I'd never see you cry;
you lied.

My hands were shaking cold
when you took off the watch i gave you.
You said you didn't want it,
and then I checked the time.

It was 9:53 on a Tuesday.
It was supposed to snow,
but it didn't.

I couldn't change the atmosphere,
or lighten your heavy heart,
despite how much I wished I could.

You turned the engine off,
and I knew that it was over.
My heart was in my stomach,
and it was all my fault.

I took off the necklace,
you gave me for my birthday.
You didn't want it back;
I left it in the cupholder.

I didn't want to leave you,
but I knew I had to.
My words were sharp like razors,
and I couldn't take them back.

I'm sorry.
For tearing at your heart.
I hurt myself too,
I don't deserve your love.

You shook your head in silence,
before you left your car.
I wished I could curl up,
in the passenger seat and wait.

Wait until the morning,
when you drank your coffee,
and pressed your shirt,
and went to your car to leave for work.

I was tired, and you tapped the window.
I wasn't surprised but I hoped it wouldn't happen.

I took my things and left your car,
the warm passenger seat.
It wasn't mine anymore,
it never really was.

I said goodbye;
you pretended not to hear.
You waved, even though
I wanted a hug.

We said goodbye,
and I knew it was over.
I said goodbye to your arms,
your voice over the phone.
I lost your favorite movies,
and the way you did your hair.

The color of your eyes would
become just a memory,
and the curves of your lips,
would fade just like my perfume.

If I said I wouldn't miss you,
that would be a lie.
I missed you almost instantly,
as soon as I said goodbye.

I swallowed my pride,
and pushed aside my regret.
I needed to walk myself home.

I looked back to your house,
but you weren't on the porch.
I remembered sitting there,
just talking on the steps.
It'd be passed 1am,
but we wouldn't notice that.

You'd say goodbye,
then let me leave,
but you'd always call my name.

I know it'll never be the same.

Every step I took,
I felt you fade away.
I couldn't do anything,
to make you stay.
It was all my fault.

I'm sorry.
I didn't want to say goodbye.

Her eyes that have life
Legs thick and strong
Shiny fine hair
A smile that makes the heart race
Laughter that gives light to the darkness
Time together full of purpose
Goals and dreams so real
Minds made up pursing more
Only time will tell where well end up
Communication rich full of fresh perspective
Take it slow rush or wait things feel right
On my mind end of the night wonder
If she feels the same
Will she make her way back
Appreciate her companionship
And the time we spend together

My love is given to her,
The one who holds my heart,
Or maybe the one who wants it back...

"Who?", you ask,
As for me, I give no response,
I need time to think, to ponder...

"What are you going to do?", you ask,
As for me I have no answer,
I need sleep and a serendipity...

Someone else make these decisions for me,
No not the one who holds my heart,
Nor the one who wants it back...

But as for me, I give no attempt,
No, no I do not try to get her back,
The one who wants my heart back...

Because although I forgave her,
When she left me,
It didn't break my heart, it broke my empathy...

And as for the one who holds my heart,
I hope she puts the pieces of me together again,
Before I make the wrong (or maybe right) decision...

Born at midnight
An odd sight
A baby carried out of a motel
A mother’s best pal
Into the hospital she went
Her time with her baby spent
She was on drugs
Couldn’t keep her
Put up for adoption
Adopted by her nurse
Almost snuck out in a purse
By her mom on drugs
To give the baby to thugs
At 6 years old she found out
She was adopted
She started to shout
Why me
Why me
Why not her
At 12 she started asking
She was starting packing
What she didn’t know
Started to show
All that went on
At thirteen she found out
Her mother had died
Hopefully she had gone
To heaven and beyond
On January 18th
In the year 2002She died of a blood clot
And has never caught

Another cold
Under 6 feet of dirt
Wearing the same shirt
She lies cold and dead
For all eternity
No pictures of her daughter
All that’s left is memories
Except for her daughter
For she knows nothing
About her mother
In denial
For months on endS
he will never see the bend
The destinationThe end
How tall was she
What did she look like
Did she know how to ride a bike
So many questions
No answers yet
Now I can bet
She misses me
As much as I miss her
What did she sound like
What did she wear
Where was she from
How did she style her hair
Who was my father
Why even bother
He didn’t care
About me or her
He never did meet me
I never met him
He should climb out on a limb
For me
So I can be free
From this mental prison I'm in
I can’t go anywhere
My minds behind bars
My feelings are getting
Run over by cars
He doesn’t care
He was never there
To support her
In her time of need
To stop her from smoking ****
Or shooting up crack
He’ll never be back
She was alone
She had no support
She had to get rid of me
She didn’t abort
Me in her womb
A perilous tomb
Forever locked
In a glass jar
Thank god that’s not me
She saved my life
By taking me there
That is the place where
I met my new mom
Who will be there
Forever with me
She will support me
And give me help
I still have questions about her
But I will meet her someday
I see her in my dreams
But that’s all it is
A dream
An idea