I prostrated in front of her
Kissing gently
The rises and fissures
Upon the back of her hand

There I rose
Late into the night,
By her bedside
I stared into her eyes

As she inched backward gingerly
I did not blink while whispering
Etching a promise into her bones
“I will not relent in my pursuit”

As I inched backwards into the sooty sordid mist of her mind
Lost forever into the dusk of time.

Like fireflies, circling the torches on the porch.
Like moths, ebbing away at the soft cloth of clothes

It bugs me to know
Even more when you show
There is nothing I can do
To help you pull through

Like mosquitos, seven cylindrical mouths **** up several drops of blood
Like flies, frantically flapping flying ***** eaters

All the waste your handing
I'm handling
with my bare hands
There is only so much blood in a man's body

Show me which way you went
I can't find you anywhere
Give me your hand
I can no longer feel your warmth

Where did you go
I can no longer feel you here

You've gone away
and it's been only a month now
I try not to remember you trembling face
begging to get out of that bed
but too weak to endure the pain any longer

We all took sanity in knowing
we had made the right choice to let you go
but will we ever know if we did truthfully

All of the pain you endured throughout your life
came out on your skin like a canvas
The world painted its needs on you
while you helped to heal their wounds
A nurse fighting in the war for life

Mother we miss you dearly
but you will not be forgotten
we will keep your spirit alive through
keeping your name in our mouths
and the memories in our hearts

We will never forget the little things
the inseparable moments we shared
cause even though your not with us here
we know your watching over us

All we want is for you to be free of the pain
forgive yourself for all the faults and mistakes
you think you may have made
because in our eyes you were and still are
The best mother anyone could ever ask for

Thank you for holding our hand when we needed you
we had the chance to hold yours before you went to heaven
just be our angel and watch over us
we need you more than ever now

As long as your spirit stays alive
you will never be forgotten
As long as were here on this Earth
we will always have you to guide us
Please be our strength and our perseverance
take us to new heights and show us new things
We need you now more than ever
Use the things you learned in this life
to teach us spiritually so that we can be as free as you

I want to live between the silver lining
Between the darkest looming clouds
I want to sleep under sparkling sun beams
And listen to the quietest sounds

I want you to wrap me in a dream
And then lock me carefully inside
Where I  decide what's fact and fiction
Somewhere pleasant for me to hide

My whole life I've been floating
Gliding ever closer to the ground
But I wish you could send me soaring
Where no weakness can be found

I want to swim within the stardust
To be enveloped with glitter and lace
A childish dream that's sugar coated
Because sometimes I don't have what it takes

I want to lie with you along the shore
And feel the sea foam through my hair
I want your hand clasped within mine
And stay with my memories there

Oh little one
How you close your eyes
You sleep so sound

Not bothered
By outside noise
You can rest

You worry not
Of foolish things, like me
Your heart has peace

Sleep, Sleep
Oh how I wish to be like you
Little one

One week
One week until I can release
All of my demons
All of the ones that eat away at me
At my heart and in my mind
I've come to terms with the fact
That I am completely insane
With that, most would decline.
But I know it. . .

How can I live everyday?
Wanting to leave
Silently listening to nothing
With those evil ******* begging me to give in
Just let us take control
Let me take everything
But I'm not ready yet. . .

What if I don’t wanna go?

I can't bear it anymore
Their scratching voices echo
Through my body and in my soul
Poisoning every step
I’m slowly letting go
I’ve called to you God
Why is everything so . . .

****** up, you are
You are ****** up
& this I know
Please tell me something different lover
& maybe I’ll let go.
But not yet
& this I know . . .

I am living here with
New ghosts and old regrets;
My voice was once solid gold.
But after years of abuse,
It’s faded from green to black in the smoke.

The full moon tonight will glow.

The cold blood from my veins
Will drain ever so slow.
Empty out my heart;
Let my mind go.
Throw my body in the river,
The only place I've ever loved.

Welcome in this horrible night
My favorite one of all
It lets in all of my demons
Into that long and crawling hall
That stretches across my life
They are tearing down the doors
All I have is seven lives.

Let it go Andy!
The heart will bleed.
All of your love is gone,
Why won't you let it be?


This is the most haunted day of my life,
I can tell you this for sure . . .
I hope that you will never meet me.
You will slowly drown too,
In my life of horror.

*“Tecum vivere amem, tecum obeam libens“

Wandering through my mind like you're always there.
The smell of your detergent lingering in the air.

I grab your hand and from there we soar,
over the first place we kissed,
making history so much more.

Your favorite song playing from your eyes,
I star at you, as you watch the skies.

The wind gently strokes your beautiful hair,
as we float higher and higher to avoid the glare.

The sun waves goodbye,
putting blankets over our skin...

I look into your dark blue eyes,
kiss you and say:

"This is where our story... begins"

My side of the singled bed
is large and needy,
old and tweedy.
A mess of a mass
cast of colour.

Her side of the single bed
is neat and slim,
twisted and trim.
A cress by the crass
man of monsters.