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 Oct 2013 Holly W
Sierra Wilmot
What is the definition
of a person
doing it right,
Is it easy to know
or easy to sight.

Do they understand simply
that to be right
is your own game,
you are the king
there is no one to blame.

Do they think in a way
thats peaceful towards all,
or struggle still
and hit their own walls.

Do they fight like me
with these demons raging,
holding my principles
blaming and caging.

Assumptions of innocence,
naïve they say,
but really it's just the same battle
in my mind everyday.

Who do you want to be
where is your truth,
is there a reason you hold back
am I stuck in my youth.

I see and I know
I understand and I feel
but what's right and wrong
what truth is real?

Lustful hands
bent knees and toes,
pushing and grinding
to places I don't know.

The thoughts say stop
but why? I can't explain,
the force to be in the right
holding me at a stalemate game.

Touching and kissing
heat rising,
I'm smiling.
The battle quieted
by tongues
and their styling.

Exploring,
feeling
open but restrained,
maybe when it's right
my heart wont be tamed.
 Oct 2013 Holly W
L Meyer
My feet to ground, bound faithfully,
as my breath to air,
or your touch to mine, its warmth
a comfort in chilled moments,
in the tepid nature of nakedness,
its weight upon our bones.

Your crooked mouth and funny bones
carry you delicately, faithfully
our worries live out back, stripped naked,
their nagging cries lost to cold air
while we laugh in these moments
and revel in our contented warmth.

On days without you, without warmth
I carry your smile within my bones
and wait patiently for the moment
of your return, my faithful
heart singing your melody to the air,
carried briefly, then lost to silent nakedness.

As the season turns, the trees stand naked
their bare fingers reaching for warmth
the leaves lost, rot into young, winter air
the smell seeps slowly into my bones
months will pass as they wait faithfully
for spring to break the frost in melted moments.

Our patience will yield to the awaited moment
when limbs can stride in nakedness
the sun never failing to renew the faith
that even the most bitter of cold will succumb to warmth
we will lie in the grass, your bones by my bones
and spill our happiness into clean air.

There are times you spend putting on airs
pretending you are someone else in a moment,
but your façade will never convince my bones
for they know you at your most naked
with nothing but our love for warmth,
so I sing the prayer of us that holds my faith.

Your bones can speak without air.
Their whispers faithful in fleeting moments,
my naked soul forever craving your warmth.
 Oct 2013 Holly W
Kate Renae
Nothing
 Oct 2013 Holly W
Kate Renae
Why is it so hard
To find someone
Who always make me want to smile
And always think about them
Drawing pictures on my bedroom floor

Why is it so hard
To feel the feeling that I really want to feel
It’s just physical attraction
And it really doesn’t go

Nothing
It’s just nothing
I’m numb
I’m torn
I’m unsure

Nothing
I want something
But this heart of mine
Just won’t let you in.

I’m gonna kiss you in the bedroom
Hold your hand when we’re alone
But never show my love
Anywhere that’s not behind
Closed doors

I hope that one day
We could
Go together
Somewhere far away
And I’ll realize
That you’re the one
I want here to stay
But for now I’m feeling

nothing
It’s just nothing
I’m numb
I’m torn
I’m not sure

Nothing
I want to feel something
But this heart of mine
Just won’t let you in.

It’s not you
It’s me
That old cliché
I forever wish I could
Feel the same way

It’s physical attraction
but my heart is set emotion
I’m hurting you
And all I feel is

Nothing
It’s nothing
I’m numb
I’m torn
I’m not sure

Nothing
I want something
But this heart of mine
Just won’t let you in.

Why is it so hard
To find someone
Who always make me want to smile
And always think about them
Drawing pictures on my bedroom floor.
 Oct 2013 Holly W
Russell D
I Wish
 Oct 2013 Holly W
Russell D
I wish you could give me shelter
But not keep me from the rain
I wish that you could need me
And not be overwhelmed by my pain

I wish I could be desired
And wanted from time to time
I wish I could capture your heart
And have you by my side

I wish I had all the answers
Or even some sort of clue
I wish I had your heart
I wish that I had you
 Oct 2013 Holly W
brooke
Drive away.
 Oct 2013 Holly W
brooke
why did
you have
to be so
            stupid
why couldn't
i,                why couldn't I
wasn't I                             wasn't I
wasnt I                          good
wasn't I

good         enough
(c) Brooke Otto 2013

ugh.
 Oct 2013 Holly W
September
we never found god.
we never found god.

the only shining light we see
is alarm clock blue,
refracted from the glass of your
empty ***** bottle eyes/

the last drop of this substance soul
finding it's way into (y)our body.
 Oct 2013 Holly W
A. E. Housman
Here dead we lie
Because we did not choose
To live and shame the land
From which we sprung.

Life, to be sure,
Is nothing much to lose,
But young men think it is,
And we were young.
 Oct 2013 Holly W
Sarah Bat
when i met my first boyfriend i was a gaping wound
my personality was the hole my father spent years drilling into my chest
he was dating two other girls at the time
we all knew we were all okay with it
i didn't like it but i kept at it anyway because i needed someone
anyone
to tell me things about myself i could shove in the cavernous chamber of my empty heart to try and stop the bleeding
that isn't to say i didn't love him
i loved him even when he fell asleep without saying good night
even if i hated that
i loved him when i shouldn't have
i stayed with him when he cheated on me because i was so afraid no one else would ever give me a second glance
and because i thought i loved him i did things i wish i could take back, that leave me feeling alone and scared and violated

when i met my second boyfriend i had a crush on somebody else
and i was a scared little girl, far away from home and missing people i could never see again
my personality was a time bomb, ticking ticking ticking it's way to mania or depression or anxiety which is a lot like a little bit of both
the wound in my chest had closed all wrong and the skin was uneven and grey
i held both my hands over the ****
until he pried them away gently
keeping me distracted with conversation about books and off handed compliments

when i met my second boyfriend i was scared because i could never figure out exactly what he wanted
or what i was doing with someone so clearly out of my league
i loved him before i noticed that i loved him
and it hit me like a ton of bricks the first time i saw him
when i opened the door and the first thing he did was open his arms
and i was terrified because i am gunshy in every sense of the word
i don't like loud sudden noises and i don't like loud sudden emotions
but he was gentle even as he touched all the rough edges of me

when i told him i loved him for the first time i said in the typographical equivalent of a whisper
knowing he wouldn't say it back
but he did
when i called him my boyfriend for the first time i'd already been in love with him for months
when he tells me i am beautiful i have trouble believing him
but i paper my body in his words like wallpaper bandaids hoping they will cover up the scars that just won't heal
when i say his name it rolls across my tongue like rock candy; sweet and rough and permanent
when he tells me he loves me, even if he says it ten times a day, it is as new and wonderful as surprising as the first time
when we fight, after we make up, he says i'm sorry, even when it wasn't his fault
and when he looks at me, it's a little easier to keep my hands away from the scar across my chest
 Oct 2013 Holly W
Petra Horvath
I sit patiently
I wait
I eat
I drink
I pass the time
I don't know that he won't come
Again
I continue
To wait
To eat
To drink
Patience
Continuing
Continuing
The same thing
To a person who never comes
Who is he
Why won't he come
Why, he's been there the whole time
Can't you see him?
Everyone else can
Can't you see him?
The man, all alone
There's much pain in his eyes
Much longing
Can't you see him?
That's okay, no one does
He's a ghost
Not alive
He's you
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