I pray for the strength to to the things I do not want to do
I ask for the courage to guide me to my everlasting home
I wish for people to love without intention
I need to feel the way I am supposed to
I know that all of this is ridiculous

Wide awake with my feelings intact
rather, they are sort of like a tac.
On the bottom of my feet,
forcing their way into my flesh with every step.
In fact my feelings are like a cage with tiny grates
that allow me to see everything, excluding the full picture.
I want to forget what it's like to feel, or care.
My sanity lies in a world where I am unattached,
but that is like moving a beach one grain of sand at a time.
When I recall your words, it is never quite in verbatim
always using my own language to sugar coat
or, more commonly, assume you the worst.
It is not what it is
it never is, we all know that

In a tiny church with an overlarge steeple
I opened the doors to see all the people
A little girl stood there and sang about god
and all the sheep stared, shocked and awed
As the tears rolled down her rosy red cheek,
each one symbolizing another week
A week of havoc, pain and circular gain,
we live in a world that knows no blame
I stared at her focusing on innocent eyes,
her naivety made them so big and so wise
She looked at the crowd, they were hungry for more,
she thought of her sister, shunned for being a *****
If we are his children and all loved the same
how come people live life with no name?
How come I have the world in my palms
when girls with my birthday are running from bombs?
Her answers will go unanswered forever,
she will be called a fool for being so clever
Dear god you are supposed to show us the answers,
but our youth sees only society's best cancers
How can a little girl have faith in your craze,
when she sees people hungry, day into days
So you see dear lord I don't really believe,
all these people need to rise up from their knees
Stop praying for someone to change your fate,
and do it yourself, open your own gate
Love thy neighbour and to ones own self be true
but don't do it for him, do it for you.

We all have our vices, but you are not excused
Everything you've ever given me reeks of *****
I get it I guess, life is like a cage
But here you are, always caught up in rage
Promises for tomorrow are feeble excuses
When I know you think only on life's sweetest juices
It's okay though, continue letting me down
The funny part is I will never drown
Drag me across a road full of witches and thieves
But look at me, I have barely scrapped my knees
Toughness I see does not run in our blood
I face my problems like a sailboat in a flood
One thing I've learned since you've called me your baby:
Life is much better when you stop believing in maybe
The future before me is so big and so bright
Therefore I thank you for showing me the darkness of night
I hope that one day you learn to be brave,
And face your demons before your grave
Although my heart now will never beat quite right
I love you forever, without hate and no spite

May the truth of all things be told,
I will shape you into my mold
String you along by a thread,
Then make you feel heavier than lead
Lift me way up high,
I need to feel worthy of the sky
You think I am just what you need,
But that is just part of my greed
You will just be another name,
But late one night I will feel the blame
Wash over me like a storm,
But that has just become the norm
"What a witch", you tell your friend,
And I know I need to mend
But yes is always easier than no,
I famously go with the flow
I stare at my golden reflection,
Typically pray for affection
I'm never nice to the ones who fit me right,
Always he who stands under a rose colored light.

You are cruel and unforgiving
You haunt everyone and bring nothing
My cool calm collected-ness fades as you
Stand before me taunting me with your ever seeming grace
I become ugly and spiteful filled with envy and questions,
My words are now dark driven with hate,
For a person I do not know,
Now knows my fate
My cheeks burn and knees shake
Thank you jealousy for closing the gate

A sun is not a sun
if there is no rain
What makes a light be
bright without the dark
sorrows of nothingness
What is light for
me might be
dull for her...
What is a sun with no rain?