We say things like "farewell" and "goodbye" but a lot of times we don't actually fare well and the bye isn't good.
This bye isn't good and I'm not faring well.
I've said goodbye so many times now I don't know what goodbye means anymore but I think it means that this is the end and I won't see you again.
I don't really want this to be the end because it feels like there's a fire in my eyes causing them to melt and there's a fire in my heart causing my chest to burn and it's moving down to my stomach like a *** that's starting to boil and I can't hold anything down.
I'm rarely ever at a loss for words and when I think of you the only thing I can muster up to say is I love you and I know this bye isn't very good but I'll say goodbye if that's what I'm supposed to do. They said I could visit but your face isn't quite the same when it's a picture on a grave.

Fare well.
I love you.

I'm sorry that I love you
So much, yet
I can't express
One bit of it

I don't know whether to
Meet your eyes when
You walk past me because
Sometimes you look so caught up in your world
I'm not sure whether to invade it.

I don't know whether to
Give you a hug when
Your eyes travel some distance and
You go Oh so deep in thought.
As you sit there, worrying,
I too worry about you.

I don't know whether to
Answer you truthfully sometimes,
Because the truth would hurt you more and
Make you feel helpless because
My problems are impossible to handle
(I'm very sure)

I'm sorry I'm so
Caught up in my own problems always,
So we never get to talk about

Yours

trust me
i didn't use to hate
               every
    living
                         thing
on the planet.
it's just
           now...
they all
remind
me
of you.


and i could never hate you enough

You said the anger would come back
just as the love did.

I have a black look I do not
like. It is a mask I try on.
I migrate toward it and its frog
sits on my lips and defecates.
It is old. It is also a pauper.
I have tried to keep it on a diet.
I give it no unction.

There is a good look that I wear
like a blood clot. I have
sewn it over my left breast.
I have made a vocation of it.
Lust has taken plant in it
and I have placed you and your
child at its milk tip.

Oh the blackness is murderous
and the milk tip is brimming
and each machine is working
and I will kiss you when
I cut up one dozen new men
and you will die somewhat,
again and again.

you're not mine and
now you'll never be
due to the fact that
you're happily
engaged.

i had hope for the
longest and
even though this
thought has entered
my mind before,
i always thought that
id be the one who you
said your vows
to.

its a good thing though.
as long as you're happy,
i am.

i just want the best for you.

even if it leaves me
completely
and utterly
depressed.

you are like a whirlpool--
silly me for falling in,
my ship has sunken down
into the ocean that is
you,
ive never been much for
swimming,
ecspecially when i
actually want to
drown.

i had to stay
after today so
i could help
another teacher
out, but im
not complaining
because through
this window,
i can see you.
smiling,
laughing,
being the
joyous person
you are.

i can tell you're
happier and
i just love that.

im trying real hard to
make it easy for me
but when you asked me
why im was always so
busy and why i
never come by anymore
i didnt know
what to say.

and yet i wonder why i
cower at the thought of
him not returning
my love,
and yet i am the
one pretending that
i never felt that
way.