Grief
Let me just sit with you
For brief
To see
How you are going to berieve me
For the loss of my dearest,
Just sit with me
Stay quiet but
For the loss have i born
Is unbearable to speak in tears.
So
Oh you grief
You are adjorned
For the time being
So i can cherish his memories!

Allah hafiz

There is a pain of love
So bitter sweet
And
There is strange sweeteness in bitterness
And sweet is barely bitter
This amalgamation is a strange pleasure to heart!

Eradication of what haunts you
be it you or he
she or we
still,
the sensitivity of  feelings
encounters you differently!

I fascinate perfection
existance of no fear
and happiness...
But,
what use is of such completeness that incompletes you?

The rain has message
of that nostalgic day,
when i bothered not, to bathe in rainy day
my mind was bewildered yet very calm
do such days on daily basis ever stay?

peace? within? or in him?
such blurry questions take me to nowhere
and today is the first day of new Fall
i packed all my summers essentials
as,
my friend is visiting now with all its glory....
coldness we both will celeberate with a warm cup of tea
will discuss the randomness of this strange life
over a thoughtful read
and than
still,
the uneasiness will crawl under my skin
oh myy dear accompanier
life is strange, its true,
but the searching souls can never taste the actual hue!

She described this dark circle as her medal
An oozing wound on her soul
Penetrating memories
And escaliting deep slumber.
She just sits around sometimes
Like a God statue
For longer hours
Staring in the sky
Thinking of nothing
And this nothingness has penetrated deep in her blood
So much
That she enjoys her oozing wounds !

Pain is our companion
A traveller friend of a lost soul
A gypsy stranger with blinging jewels
The sweeteness of its ache
Luckiest are those who enjoy and dnt fake
And this blessing recently has endured on me
I dnt lick them
I dnt drug them
The healing of this anarchy is in endurance
And the restlessness it bestows!!

Alaa, wake up my dear. Please wake up, look your mother has got milk for you.

Sitting on the ****** floor, covered in dust and tears he said “ he was my little brother”

Where is my son muhammad? Where?
“ what is his full name?”
Where are you muhammad? Muhammad?
Yes this is our son. God be willing.
The mother cried quietly and said, my Muhammad
Father said:
“Give him to me , please, illl carry him”
The mother said
“Noo, ill carry him, he is my dear son. Dnt come near to me, if you will come near, ill never forgive you
Look everyone, this is my dear muhammad, God be with you my dear child.”
And she held him in her lap, carrying him on the dusty streets, surronded by death , fear and destruction. She did not care, for her whole world she was carrying in her arms.

We will come back my Aleppo, we are leaving you with teary heart, but wait for us my beautiful Aleppo, we will come back

She stood infront of the rumbles of her beloved home and for the last time absorbed it in herself and bid a goodbye

She went to her broken home, but the plants in her backyard were still green inspite of shelling and bombs, she plucked one stem and tearfully left the last step from her home, kissing the wall and the door.

She was 9 months pregnant , the shell hit her, they did c section and took out the child. He was motionless and did not cry, they did cpr , pat his back by keeping him upside down, rubbed him hard and atlast he cried hard, and the room beemed with ALLAH  O AKBAR.

A kind hearted Dr. Hamza, who revived my faith in kindness and humanity.

Love is not a desire
No,no,no ,no
Its a need
Without which
Death is inevitable!

The pacifity of moments
She wondered sometimes why her mind and thoughts are baffled now
Why she has to confront her own doubts
Why her judgment has turned its ways on herself....
The bracing of truth is revealed
On initials ,when you faces the same happenings
When same circumstances let you get grilled through same machine
Than it falls on you,
Why sleeps are so restless and less
Even when you have all the time
The fear of being fallen away
Loosing the moments in all this juggling
Donot let you sleep for the long time......
The comfort of bed is disasterous than the agony of aches
And the sensitivity of dreams is hateful than  bitter realities
once and of all when you realise
Your hair embraces the greyness and your body engage in Aging more gracefully!!!!!

Sometimes destruction is mandatory, of self and surronding, to bring calmness in ur turbulent soul.

I am a devastated , hopeless optimist!

There is a rage in me, more i wish to destroy myself with its brutality , more it nourish my poor soul!


I wake up in the middle of night, my body aches, my feet burn, my head on spin, still i ditch my sleepy eye just to mark the time in slow pace, only for the fear of its passing by!

So she heard about the bond
Since her childhood
The stories of birds rebuilding their nests
After horrible storm!

The pain that arises in hearts
On cherishing the long lost people
And the scent attached to them!

She saw people writing phrases and poems
In the memoir of old friend
And witnessed her parents
Crying silently
Remembering the touch of their mothers!

Being so naive, she once felt
There exist some connection
Unknown
Unseen
But strong!

In all these real illusion
She grew up!
Into a beautiful blossomed young women
And fell in love.
The heart floated on beautiful sea
Amongst serene sunset
Until once
It sank and webt dead!!

Years passed by,
She became a poet who wrote about the miseries in the world
The killings and the bombs
The vanishing and deceptions
And in between
Sometimes, she cried her heart out
For the pain of that loss and once in ages
It Always created a masterpiece of its kind!

She experienced than
The power of connection
Of present with the past
And the future always stays alive
As the affiliation with pain
Keep us afloat
Even in the worst of time
In the moments of ache
And tears, to make us sane!!

Keep breaking your heart until it opens!

muhabbat ka faham jana tou dil ro para
yay kaisa ilm hai kay jiss raah gya wahan shor para

yay dekho kon hai saaqi jo chala aa raha hai khaali hath
naan mayy hai naan masti, naan may kadday ka shoor para

zamana saaz tha, par sakoot main raha umar bhar
magar roze hashar yay kuen aur kaisa shaur para

aur phir jab dill tota, aur ishq ki baazi haar gya
wo shaksh murjha gya aur hanstay hanstay phir ro para

Are we missing something?!?

The hearts are not at right pace
All those matters of space ,those set on some pattern
Revolving though,;;
But my heart not at pace
So does of the millions others....
The tails holding of elephant herd
In the fields
Unsettling too...
The trembling of voices
And serenity
Has taken place the shambles
And the ruins this time are murrmuring,
Burning slowly!
This heat is sinister than the flames itself
And erupted volcanoe,
Trenching trembling the level of horizon
On demise of so many young souls
Under its cover
They reaching to sky
But sky still mourns on earth loosing its precious
Ahh!!!!!!
I have been taught in this time the lessons
That havent been taught in centuries
The herat has turn old in days so little
Age has become just the number
And the greyness has enveloped the souls like dark wolves!

Now even the clouds if rain
I dnt feel it
Its not called monotony
Or rampedness
Time has shown that it can run anticlockwise
And diruption will be more on souls than rocks could ever asked for in their capacity....

The emptiness is getting rapid
And earth is creating more space
For graves to be encarved
The sadness is echoing in streets like trumpet blowing orchestra
The songs of deads are mellowing the alives
The time is strange my friend , more in melancholy is my heart
And when hearts wrap thmeselves in pain
Than you have no escape
And no place to go!!

now the short words in trend
or
may be you can wrap yourself in silence
the safest of all cages
that
even in its zone death is like birth
rejuvination of this overlap
is only because of the blessing of being in U!

the sweetest of all glory
ahh my heart
the natives of all
the naive of all
and the Loyalist the most....

how i feel towards u
its too insensate
like u scroll down pages of an empty book
or strike helplessly the broken chords of violin
i am not vibrant enough to dessicate black from white
i am full enough to greed for the blurring sight
how i feel towards u?; its a matter of time
like a flash on sky, or shine of sapphire
like smoke is blown out with wind,or fragrance fades out after spring,
i dnt understand, but words i feel
the music in its silence i pour in like a wine
and earth shakes itself in madness, the madness of love, the madness of lust, the madness of desire;MADNESS it is,
and i pour in,
like black clouds, i soak myself in my dark breaths,
without sun to appear, without moon to heal the wounds,
i just drown in my own wind, swirl in my own ocean, speak in my own silence....

hiramalik

The people of this world called
And than
Unanimously they yelled
“ are you awake”
Destinations or fate
Ways or trace
All are speculation now
The confrontation of the heart with soul
Is one of the biggest battle
Ever battled
And world still
Will mark never
The history of this bloodshed!!

People woke up again and yelled high at their lungs
Are you awake
And few came out of their front doors
Yawning and rubbing eyes
There was a silent of deads on the street
So was in their insides
And they raised slogans in their slumber and sleep
“ hail to you
Jai to you
Salam to you”
..........
...........
.............
And than there was a silence of death,
Of utmost
Of grave
And i looked up to the sky
And wished for this all to end, once and forever
For the first time.....

Its unending.....

Even if you end it with last call

Or

An unread message on ur phone screen beeps the next day

On no note,
But

Just a question mark!!!

It will stay unended

Even,

If u tear out the last page of that book

Or burn it to ashes

Still,

The smoke of that ash

Will amalgamate your all cells

And it will decay , the day, when you will

Or
May be never!

the art of running away

is the greatest of all,

the sootheness in accompanying winds

and the coldness of stones

under feet

is the biggest of glory!!

i know no one will ever remember
me
once i am all gone
the skies will might
but earth ave changed ways
of engulfing the masses of memories
without a single regret!!

she wore red color for the first time

for

herself!!

Hope is like a lullaby

Walls around me
Painted white
I can hear clearly
The thumping of my heart
My chest may be
The only place right now in this world
That is not at peace
Still the hope
That hope
I never tried to befriend with
Makes me hear
The sound of rain
From the clear skies
And the piano notes
abandoned those were in one of the lonely nights......
Hope,
That hold my hand
If they near to death
When my breaths
Are not even my friend!

Why i could never see you
In all these years
When you stood silently by me
Unconsciously grabbing my hand
And
I looked beyond the empty papers
Where
There was never written
Ever
Any word for the catharsis
And
I thought always
Its just me and me
Going bounds and leaps
But...
Now when i have fallen on the ground
My face down
My hands on tremble
I can see you clearly my friend
Still standing tall
Stretching a very loyal hand
I see you now
And need you
More than ever have i needed anyone!!

I couldnt write about my past 5 days of fear of death and breathlessness
The tears were so many, and the loneliness so heavy
I looked around and i found death
The breaths were not on my side either
I wanted to write
But my hands trembled
And my heart on fast pace
I looked at my kids
They stayed at my isolated room’s door
And said
“ mama are you alright”
The night was terrible
More miserable than the time in grave may be
Neither death comes nor life
And the scary thoughts creep around me maliciously
And with each steps till today i took
They were so slow at pace
That
I forgot when was the last time
I walked this slow!
I looked at the happy faces of my kids
And first time ever
I looked at them with great details
They have grown up
Growing in taste talk and pace
And i realised
Time has flown by
And now this time
Is teaching me all ruthlessly
What have i lost
For what i never fought
Its a day 5
And i look ahead for the bright horizon
My breaths still not i catch
My face still looks miserable
And my walk so timid and low
But i hope
For hope is the only bread in this fear!

The description of contraception
of heads so many,
as those thoughts being liberated
and they fly in air like a solemn free bird;
you know what hurts me the most
being alone? NO
being deceived? again NO
but,
being not alone when u are meant to be alone!!
the introspection of me, the devision in my thoughts
is just too much
so so much,
that i myself is unable to comprehend what i desire
and how i want to lay down in the heat of sunrise!!
the monologue of this book
is unsaid, yet so descriptive
that the whole syllabi is meaningless...
the meaning of words
sometimes dont describe the actual pain
you know that?
its the feature of the speaker, that speaks the volume!!
the glory of emancipation from this world
and attaching to the subconscious valley
have u ever tasted what it feels like?
it the bitter of all, but drench u the most!!
this is the glorification of my being
of my solitude of thoughts
and the affect of its ecstasy
that is on and beyond the heavens !!

Fascination is such an illusional and fine category of our mind, where when it leads to the death, its joyful, less painful and more of an adventure!!

Oh sentiments, a turmoil of judgement, likewise you have burdened me so much that futile it is the fertility of thoughts.

Junction of words and abusement are combination of those languages, that once was spoken in times of ******. I capitalised his name ,for the word had an enormous affect on the world history.

Structural imagination of something into an empire, O GOD, u know only better, i felt like U at that moment!

I was so alone when i turn into GOD all by myself. Where is that shoulder to lean on, someone should be there above me to handle all the chaos i created . Its was exhausting and i gave up!!

HIRAMALIK

I know he loves me
So i let him spank me, humiliate me
O heart
With such disdain u said
" so go"
When i said
I am just goin to the door
With the sound of disgust
And i left without any goodbyes.
O that recklessness in me
U see me abusive mouth-ed
Cursing swearing everywhere
U find me pathetic in bed or near door, inside or outside
Or even while passing by
That makes you dream of throwing  ur insanity on me,
On me providing it to u willingly,
But deep down u dnt even know
This cruelty is the byproduct of that void
No love has ever filled in...
And i left , just forever
When with such Disdain, u said
" YOU GO"

She was a restless soul!
But i am not saying that she is not calm.
Though,
She stayed unsettled most of the day, while cooking, washing, cleaning, reading and even  kissing me.
But she always melted like the quiet ,blue pleasant sea when i used to take her in my arms.
As if, it was a desire to borrow that energy from me that was deficient in her.
She was the sucker of Love, like a leech, so desperate to **** all blood till last drop.
Like the Sun, that drink all water and convert land to desert.
But i never got tired of her, i kept on giving her, for she was the light of my Home and this Heart!

محسن ہمارے ساتھ بڑا سانہہ ہوا
ھم رہ گئے ، ھمارا ذمانہ چلا گیا



Not written by me. Copied.

Yay dil jura hai tum say
Kay tmharay muskuranay pay
Mere maut bhe ban jati hai burg-o-bahar,
Aur tmharay chup ** janay pay
Main bass saham si jati houn!...

The merging of all
The detainment and my spirit
So aloof
That the retention of my feelings finding a way to fly!
An aesthetics of being alone
And whatever the label you put on it
Creates disaster
When u hit with tha faces of crowd!
O Lord, when is that day?
Is there even a day?
This distribution to me is so hazy
In comatose state
I feel dizzy!
Enrage the fire of anger
But dnt belittle me,
In the name of that love
That never existed
Tapering to the slightest of stir!
This is what i look like
When i trip on my heels and my feet bleed,
This is what who i am
A neglector of the pain, going on in heaps.
This is my friend the real face of me
Who pretends to be a reader but lost in the mountains of seas.
O yes, delusional is what they call it
I say, no **** no, this is what i describe it as Me!

We
The people
The incarcinate people of all times
A generation of false liberator
Decayers
Insensitive breed of wild of wildests animals

We,

Bring out the canines
That are innovative
In the type of brutality
That
Imagination seek help...

And than
We seek refuge
In the ***** of peace
The world on the verge of collapsing
We all are aware
Still
We are eating the core
Like an insomniac
Who has lost the mind
And chest dnt bind hearts anymore....

A night it is,
Strangest of all
Where the luminosity is generous
And the bleakness dnt fall...

My head in bizarre spin
Strangling in between the brass and gold
The murmurs are about the eruption of volcanoe
In this deadly freezing cold!

Justifiable is the lonesome, deception is more refined
I no more am doubtful, the love is atlast declined.
Sighs are the words, moans are now defined
The player is best on the stage, who dive in the bitterest of wine!

Everyone is deprived of the Love
He never had...

The raining week has not passed yet
As if, the sky on a cry
Likewise
My head is bursting
As if pain is on gain...
The momentum has arrived
Blueness all over has taken the stance
As if
The conquerer is mourning over the victory...

Tere yaad
Aur kuch nahin
Uskay baad....

The impression of being normal in society is so overstated that sometimes I doubt “Am I a Normal being"....normality has been defined at different level in varied ways, but 99 percent have the same concept about its definition and that is what we see around us in the form of ethics, manners, social interaction, intelligence and communication level. The pattern is imprinted in our minds and ideas like day and night and like the biological clock works inside us, so a minor deviation from that brings a lot of stirring in our environment and we label it with different names like “ ******”, “abnormal”, and some kind of disorder.

There is a very thin line between varied behavior and abnormality that is threatening to self and surroundings. Thing is we should understand that and start intervening when that line seems to be crossed.

Intelligence is being measured globally and majorly on the basis of grades and than on the basis of accompalishments and achievements but we totally forget that each individual is unique and gifted in different ways, we can’t compare a flower with the sky and vice versa.

The instability in society comes from the afromentioned behaviour and it affects whole lot of generation. not to differentiate between the individual’s capability and look in depth of their behaviors has a lot of psychological impact and that should be addressed from the very start level of their childhood so each can grow and flourish for their and their surroundings sake——-

It’s unexplainable
The deep rooted seed of love
Oh dear
How will I ever tell you
How I spent days and nights
Kneeded in the dough of love
That magnificent love
Revealed upon me
Bits by bits
And drowned me in its gigantic wave forever.....

Oh the Lover of all lovers
Oh the Lord of all lords
How u created this love
Out of the flesh, that a heart is
And mind a skull contains
How u flourished it so intensely
Insanely,
That whoever opts it
Or gets trapped in it
Looses himself , happily,willingly——-

The treasures of these fields
Singing rhymes hand in hand
With the love flowing by their side
Is like,
Thinning of that silver line
Where all the dreams fly by——-

Love
The agony of love
Is so sweet of all the sweetest my dear
That the outrage of pain
Is a comfort in front of it———

Muhabbat chaiay, lazim hai kay
Saans aay aur jay
Jahan muhabbat chalay, hawa ki manind
Kay buhat tapash hai
Aur dil ki zameen mun kholay haanp rahi hai
Aur nazar kaheen poshida hai
Dil aur bahar
Har taraf
Ikk hi hawa hai
Loo ki manind
Larazti, sansanati ***
Jaisay haddion ko murjha day
Aur thara day saans ki simt ko!!

Kaheen bhe nhn, kuch bhe nhn
Jahan jaon, jahan tharon
Wahan kuch bhe nhn, kabhi bhe nhn.
Ehsaas kahan hai? Yay dil tou ab ikk pinjra hai
Jahan ka makeen bolay tou maut, saans bhe maut, harkat bhe kafan, lafz bhe khatam!

Kuch hai, in dinon, kay shaam ka ilhaam
Meray dil kay darwazon pay
Khafeef ahat say bhe
Maut paida karta hai
Aur iska paida hona
Meray wajood main
Ikk Ah ban kar raqs karta hai.
Kuch hai
Kuch tou hai
Iss shaam main , aaj kal!

Rung-o- boo ki nami, uss ehsaas ka sarood
Kaheen ab samandar paar sakoot ki chadar orhay baitha hai
Aur idhar mera wajood
Bass akhri saans ikk umeed ki aas pay laita thahar sa gya hai...

In an isolated system of demarcation
The juvenility flourish
Like a dead sea
Stagnant for ages
And fish surviving from the air within!
The cult of being survivor
And seeker at the same is
So demolishing,
That....; the demon inside , beg for liberation even.
A pearl deep in the sea, the colour of rainbow after rain in falling day
A glimpse from the side of ur eyes, for the face of beloved,
These all unsuals are so enthralling , high and above the smook of ****!
The tunes of all these sounds, i envelop deep down my heart, under folds of its colours, floating in the red blood
So after death,only concealers could reveal the reality and do remedy!

noone leaves home
untill home is a sweaty
voice in ur ear
saying--
leave,
run away from me now
i dont know what i have
become,
but i know that
anywhere
is safer than here!!

copied

they say
there is no space left
even  a void too large
to accommodate  all the sorrows and pain
still there is no space left
a heart of association is detached
its the story of time
under dust of moments
that are long forgotten...

a place where u find safe
whether in arms of ones
or the land so empty
its again
the matter of time
what ur heart decides
and affiliation is inseparable

love is like a growing tree
that tastes 4 seasons
from spring to autumn
it doesn't confide one season inside
kisses all four faces
and claims still to be in love
for love is the water
that keeps the seed growing
without owning it!!

i am a lover seeker
but a deceiver too
i am a wanderer lust-er
but  a loner too
i am a soother and a home , for homeless
but a ruthless and revengeful too....
we all live in a orbit of deception
a hide and seek space
where we ourselves unaware of the fact
who we really are...

this is the cycle of life
a wheel of love
a run on the road
a destination unknown,
still my friend
still,
we walk on a new dream
daily
after trashing the last one....
like crushed petals
engraved deep down
and sprout a new seed....

Why the questions are the type of friends
Leave u puzzled, perplexed
Lingering on , with the traces of long unattended list
Why these questions so faithful, more than the answers?
They stay as it is, un approached, unchanged and static
But the drama they create
Is the only faith u hold onto
Still confused!!
You pour them out even if they leave u un- attended
A lay out full of ur name and nothing else!