She is set to fly back
After devouring the all tastes
As her heart is unsettled for days and years
And these wide miles
Between,
Her heart and the lover
Are life takers
Slowly slowly
Bit by bit,,...
the last steps of her breaths
She wants to inhale and exhale
Where her heart stayed forever and ever!

So ,
She is set to fly back
To Homeland!

Ehsaas kay dareechay main
Baynaam sa aik shahar basta hai
Har roz wahan log uth-tay hain
Qaroobar kay hangaamon main
Koe mun dho kar nikalta hai
Koe bay- awaz surr pay sarr dhunta hai
har roz wahan aik kahani hai
Jo tmhain mjhay sunani hai
Har saa-at wahan aik tamasha hai
Jo rukta aur shaur machata hai
Raat ki taareeki main
Jab sab thak kar laut aatay hain
Apnay **** ki thakawat ko
Wo  khawaboon kay ka-andhay utartay hain
Aur yunhi so jatay hain.....
Ehsaas kay dareechay main
Jo aik bay- naam sa shahar basta hai
Uss basti ki sab hastion main
Chupa bacha din bhar hansta hai
Aur shab dhalay, sarhanay  mun day kar rota rahta hai.....

Muhabbat chaiay, lazim hai kay
Saans aay aur jay
Jahan muhabbat chalay, hawa ki manind
Kay buhat tapash hai
Aur dil ki zameen mun kholay haanp rahi hai
Aur nazar kaheen poshida hai
Dil aur bahar
Har taraf
Ikk hi hawa hai
Loo ki manind
Larazti, sansanati ***
Jaisay haddion ko murjha day
Aur thara day saans ki simt ko!!

Kaheen bhe nhn, kuch bhe nhn
Jahan jaon, jahan tharon
Wahan kuch bhe nhn, kabhi bhe nhn.
Ehsaas kahan hai? Yay dil tou ab ikk pinjra hai
Jahan ka makeen bolay tou maut, saans bhe maut, harkat bhe kafan, lafz bhe khatam!

Kuch hai, in dinon, kay shaam ka ilhaam
Meray dil kay darwazon pay
Khafeef ahat say bhe
Maut paida karta hai
Aur iska paida hona
Meray wajood main
Ikk Ah ban kar raqs karta hai.
Kuch hai
Kuch tou hai
Iss shaam main , aaj kal!

Rung-o- boo ki nami, uss ehsaas ka sarood
Kaheen ab samandar paar sakoot ki chadar orhay baitha hai
Aur idhar mera wajood
Bass akhri saans ikk umeed ki aas pay laita thahar sa gya hai...

The struggle is real , very real, you know;
When a mother after whole tiring day
Exhausted frustrated,
Still in the mid night,
lonely deep night;
Feed her child,
In hope to see him grow
And take her all sorrows....
When alone
She bears pain of her sick child
Moulding it on the mount of heaviness
Already she piles,
Still with smile
She look at him with all hope for some newday without lies.....
The struggle is real,
When she smiles for him,  where she has to cry,
And this amalgamation of emotions
Drown her in an ocean dry,
In hopes still high
In awe of her mournings,
She will see the bright light
For being alive....
Its still real
When u see her with wrinkled face
Thinking about the distant storm
Worrying about bills ,food ,light,
In between feeding ,sleeping ,working,worrying
She hides in books,
Still having some hopes high...
On one day
She will see her son strong
Like a pillar, as her plight,
And her struggle never goes waste.....

Between the world and her heart
She cudnt find a place sustainable
Like a shaking earth and volcanic eruption
A thunder in her part was too horrible to be seen by the world!
And between her heart and art
Those zig zag lines she tried to convert into mozart
She found out at the last
The music was sung with tunes unheard
The volume was too low
And the curcuit was short!!!

She was a girl wearing black
Finding her ways to the dark alleys
Where she could float nakedly
In waters so deep
Without any fear or tremble
Without any shake or crumble
Taking along all the treasures she keeps
Steep down in valley deep!

The game of metaphor
Like a dream I see
And not even it exist
Like in reality I persists
And everything otherwise insists!

Some existences are metabolically contagious
A chain of reaction starts, and the disaster is unimaginable....

She lives in a cocoon of caterpillar
Always fantasizing the life of a butterfly
And in this manipulation , consistently she drives
Her imaginations, to the world of realm!

Superb was the fall,  magnificently amazing
Starry was the night and the world whole snoring in their fraction
She stood up right, applauding alone ,dazzling
And this metaphor of dream once again was her cage of seduction!

O! The devil of heart, who dwells all around like a halo
An orbit of sleeplessness, a magnet of thousands of random dreams
Some abide by the rules of hearts, some follow their own set paths
These diversions are like the shooting stars, and a silent prayer somewhere down is whispered in ajar!

Jungles or mountains, pens or papers, jingles or jangles, strip or steap
Synchronically or rhetorically, this puzzle is not making me sleep
Abandoning my thoughts in this vast universe of genius's spree
O the lover and the keeper of hearts, just for once , LOOK AT ME!

Guzar gay kaey din , kiay gham-e-jaanaan main hijrat
Aik wohi tou umeed thee apni, ikk wohi thee muhabbat!!

Tmhain maaloom hai meray ghar kay darwazay muqaffal hain paray
Jahan ikk arsay hawa chalti thee, jahan bastii thee chahat!!

Ab tou yun kharay hain shahrahon pay, kay faqeer ka sa gumaan hota hai
Jiss rastay say khusboo aati thee, tere gul-e-rafaqat!!

Aur phir yun hoa kay raat ki parchai gahri say gahri hoti chali ***
Aur hum dobtay chalay gay, madham saanson say taraf, tere rughbat!!

Someday i might not be in hurry much
Hurry to breath
Hurry to sleep
Again hurry to eat
Hurry to smile
And weep!!
Might be someday , wil be as easy
As these sun rays shamelessly
Consume all our sweat
And seemingly cold moonlight
Eats up all our inner soul!
Somedays may be, alphabets wont be in haste
And ill take my life time to sew them in words
What my heart speaks
My soul yearns
And there will be no one to judge
On my actions on these words
And whole world will smile with me
As if
Its the ENd day , as if its a No play!!
Someday...........

she is just a chord in an extravagent musical classic,
a stir in the wire, a tune hidden but in bass!
she herself not aware where the music leads her to,
but;
the persistance stay,
and she jumps up and high, low and down the pathways....
and than he appeared;
loveable but bitter, intense but flowy
grasper but leaver, harsh but low key,
he showed her the love she parched for,
but still in bits and pieces;
he is the waterfall that is bound to keep you thirsty,
still u are aware,
there is no way to astray here and there...
he loves her like a winter sun,
cold and perished, warm and so hot that burns.....
"why still there is a void so deep and peristalting
resurfacing now and than "
do the loves of all lovers so unfulfilling
or its just a charisma of love that makes u perished still parched?.......
the hands of his ,melt inside her heart,
reverberation so strong she feels the taste of blood in her mouth....
the world go around in all direction, may be its called a skip of beat
or
may be she is no more in senses to think so deep!!

hearts are the weirdest place to breathe in.....

one can never understand the meaning of life
so much it unfolds , reveal every time
bit by bit, sort it out in ur empty eyes,
ull feel the rush of world in ur blood..

sometimes it bestows wen u are in no need,
sometimes it snatches when  u are in dire desire
sometimes it dreams when u are in search of real reality
sometimes it runs so fast that tiresome encircle ur feet
sometimes it bings rainbow when black and white is ur attire
sometimes it darkens circles under ur eyes, when u want to brighten up the sight!

breakings , make up the fragile person inside u,it makes u more stronger.. sometimes unsaid talks are more good than one with endings..i always remained a perfectionist, completing unfinished stories, without fearing the consequences, but with time i learnt sometimes leaving behind as it is ,more soothing than when u try to fold things ...

hearts are the weirdest place to breathe in..

hiramalik

Write
Before sunrise
Ull be fine
A reincarnation of a heart
When u just feels like a great loss
Wearing red lipstick
I keep my lips apart
Whirling in my head
Hundreds of thoughts
I as a barren parrot- land
Sing songs of urs
Of ur eulogies
How much this land barren
Needs an ale of ur magnificient eye
Raising hands with thousands of apologies...
I nest my heart up on the clouds
Those breathe my sight, those long for an insomniac eye....
Yet charisma leaves me unsight
A love to ponder, a loss to survive....

Shaken this world by trillion words
A pitcher of mine, still so much soaked in thirst...
Someday ill shout out the voice
Someday,
Someday,
Someday..!!

Hearing a thought, like a murmur in my head
I am gearing a ride, something like that
Turning around on every step
As if i have lost my mind under striking steps;just finding myself!

How my heart  waits for the moment
Of ur glimpse
How thesr fraction of seconds
Look like a mountain heap
How my gaze never seize to reminent ur dreams
I shall quit all my dreams of thousands of years
Just for sake of ur "see"
How my this lonesome heart miss the thrill of ur touch
A reverberation from head to toe
Inside out of my delicate spine
How it encase my dreaded soul
And these nights and days are spent like this in ur madness, Every day!!

I felt bad heartache in my dream
A dream, that came at the time of dusk
When the clouds were escaping
And the sound from mosque was dense and sad!
It shattered and saddened me too much,
This much that still i cry in pain of that heartache.....
It was burnt into dark ashes
Like dark sky indwelling upon the heart of gold dust...
And he screamed through the broken window;
"Take care of him, he cudnt walk
He cudnt speak
My heart has shattered into millions like a broken dream,
And like these ashes that you see,
Darkness has occupied completely Me!
He had my heart
And he was the mode of my breath
Now that all is gone
Speech has lost its ways towards me!"
And me;
I looked into his broken eyes
Filled with thousands of his unheard screams,
"I cudnt hold him to my chest
His toys still i keep but
That smile those glee
I cudnt soake myslef in thee,
Lost and saddened and shattered,
Like this ever-lasting gloomy eve"

I am a derwaish, a one in his own rhythm,
If u a lover, than earn love,
Keep firm this heart, as these mountains hve embrassed earth,
Heart like a sun,burning, not acquaintantto its own warmth!!
O lover,
Dnt move ur heart, keep ur gaze at ur heart,
As,
I am a derwaish , moving in his own rhythm...
O Allah,
May be myself lost for ur cause
In ur love, seeking through ur love,
To the route of lover,
Where once again i loose all mu whereabouts!!


Seeker of Oneness,have u seen little birds flying far away from their little nests,
Leaving behind everything, with no guard but on their hearts,
Of the One, who has encompassed the gigantic skies,
Whose one glance
Can melt vast routes to open their ways to the lost beggar in dirt!!
Colourless chapters, U colour them if i find u with passion and cravings,
I know ur one glance could change it, oceans to mountains, sun to moon,
O Allah, the seekings of seekers,
These oceans with one blue face, gives Urs many reflections,
From its surface to depth,
And ur gesture can make my heart filled with its coldness, deep in my veins ,through the rage of my soul!!!
Drenched in ur rememberance,
I know there is nothing outthere,
Nothing but u,
Sinking deep in its soul, i still remember how gracious and vast U are!!!!!!

yay jo haal hoa sare- shaam hi,
siyah dasht -o- garibaan hoa,
Mjhay hasil naan tha jo kamal bhe,
Wo bay-sabab shikasta -o -jaan hoa..
aay rahbar -e-zindagi, yay kaisi taveel tar raat hai,
Naan amaan mili, naan hi koe imtihaan hoa!!
Wo jo pamaal kar gay meray khwab ko,
us hashar-e- jaan ka kia samaan hoa;
Yunheen gard main liptay bujhay khayal,
Shahr say jaanay ka yun ihtimaam hoa!
Yay rang nhn saraab hain,yay ehsaas say door paar hain,
Meray bayrabt say tootay pyaar main,Jo hoa tou bass yunheen hoa!!

What she finds in him
When whole night he keeps exploring her body
Every night, and other night
As if,or might be some new plant has sprouted from her seed,
As if eating fruits from its branches, mandatory!
But,
What everyother night her seeking eyes see nothing,
For the tenderness she needs ,
Only!!
For a woman is made up of light bkue sky
And pale coloured sand
Wind v fragile
And spark too shallow
And this tenderness encapsulates her wholy!
With trembling hands
Everyother dark night
While her stature he loves
Her hands goes to his heart
To find tender part
But it still is a story of everyother night!

They say
" states dnt keep the form or shape
They steal u like water does to pebbles"
So here it goes
" i fear ill not stay anymore "

States are like the birds or daffodles or like a type writer or may be its just an un- seen feeling,
What i am supposed to write
Is just not
What i am writing......
See
" how state melts you into something so shapeless"

State is like a man standing under rain
But still counting the water drops
Falling out of no where in vain
And feeling warmth in coldest sane
Lissen
" this what states do to you, numb in speaking what you should to, the only friend you keep, the heart in you"

I know this haphazardness is inherited
Like a swirling derwish
I keep encircling my lost emotions
As if someone trying to find sonething,
Non existing, extinct, unborn, un-uttered!!
I try to speak and my words loose my ways
As if, everything despise me,
Even my own shadow!

Something in air is not good
As if a mourning lost child trying to find his mother,
And his naked feet all dust and dirt
His head messed up,
But still he finds for love, an eternal lost love!!

I am drowning, where? I myself unaware,
The bank of the reverbering sea, i cant see,
And while hearing the stardom of storm,
I myself loosing my speech, somwhere somehow, too bad, too badly!!

Main jiss shahar ka aadi hon
Uss shahar kay baasi ajnabi nigahon say dekhtay hain mjhay
In chahron pay charhay rung
Mjhay rung nhn bay rung lagtay hain
Iss shahar kay darr-o-dewaron say abhi mera rishta nhn bana
Aur raastay yahan kay mujh say khauf khatay hain!

Maij jiss shahar ka aadi hon,
Uss kay baasi apnay hi rung main holi khailay jatay hain
Aur main safaid aur siah kay darmian hi uljha baitja hon.
Sooraj nikalta hai zaroor, laikan sitaray raat kay mjhay daratay hain,
Aur yay onchi onchi amaraat, kiss dayo ki maanind lagti hain mjhay!

Main phir bhe iss shahar ka aadi hon
Main phir bhe iss shahar ka aadi hon!!

No,
It is not at rest
Neither it can be
The silent gripping of unsung thoughts
The howling of thosr unsaid words hidden inside
How can they let it at rest?
Single- handedly, its trying to strive for its breath
A last exasperating breath
In dim extinguishing light of burnt out candle
And dripping liquid from its corner
Like tears from my eyes
Is on its last nerves!
Daily it carries on its sleeves thousands of sins,
With heavy heart, still it moves along
Like ticking of clock
Or sun setting or diving?!?
May be fate is playing its part
Or time slipping quickly through half ended start!
Whatever it is my friend
It is feeling like an end,
And now these alphabets are so contemperary and aloof
Strange, saddened and goof!
Alas, Alas, Alas....
I have no words to end this stance!

She is not what u see

In a statue full of embellishment

She is just hiding,

A solace from the sufferings outside

An eacape from the miseries inside!

I fear to stay alone, but than I feel once ill overcome this fear ill find my real self!!

Misplaced
So displaced I was
Like
a Z far from Y
Or numbers in disorder!

My heart was on fire
not in stove
But somewhere far on glacier lands
Where even thirst becomes ice

I am not destined for that love
That was born with me
U know that.…?
It’s the most undeprived , a child heart
Drowned long ago in its own unfilled desires!

Soaring high up, soars deep inside
This is the distance unmeasured
Even if u fill this void with all these stars
Still, the pebble will produce the loudest of sound in its depth,
Such a void is this,
And I am contemplating still where to sit!

Somedays ill be following melancholy
That actually exists in me
Like it is there , staying there for so long
A deep slumber sleep, without which my heart never rests..
See the lights of withering moon
Shaping my heart to its beam
But soon,
That black curtain of night
Will cover my sadness in heap...
Shake me, help me, make me awake
U all voices in my dreams....

She never tried to look up


And deep inside her


In between everything she memorised


And since than,


She is nothing but lost!!

Why the questions are the type of friends
Leave u puzzled, perplexed
Lingering on , with the traces of long unattended list
Why these questions so faithful, more than the answers?
They stay as it is, un approached, unchanged and static
But the drama they create
Is the only faith u hold onto
Still confused!!
You pour them out even if they leave u un- attended
A lay out full of ur name and nothing else!

Dead dreams
She was just a maurderer
Whose symphony was unsung
Amongst the mountains capped with glaciers
Melting like your heart in awe of that love
Which u have kept as a secret under covers of its corner
The growing plant, inside the earth, silently u water
And its rooted deep, the same kind of excruciating, killing me softly kind of love!!
And that strong wind, on the top of world
When u lissen its buzzz,
Feel it inside each pore of your windshiled,
Same kind of thunder
Claps around me every second
Since after keeping this love,
Like a sprouting bud
Like a child in the womb making
Likewise my love, u have evolved every corner of me in ur love!!!

I wish
Tears would never had to flow down on cheeks
The helplessness
Misery
Brokenness
Sensitivity
Burden me more
Than the pleasure of being teary!

Subah-e-tamaam kay sozo gar
Khoon main nahay apnay lakht-e- jiggar
Aay soz-e-lab-e- baam, kia naghma gungunao gay,
Har roz ik nae tamanna jagao gay?
Unn hasrat bharay dilon main kia kia saaz bajao gay?
Aay saq-e- dil, yun hasraton main jeena bhe kia jeena
Jiss dil main naan koe hasrat , naan koe tamanna!!!
( its urdu language, that is a mother language in Pakistan)

There are tyms when nothing as real as pain;
And than,
She shielded herself again
With strong silent invisble wall
With same expressionless face,
Doing all chores
Performing daily duties
And shut the door on her heart;
For sometyms, forever....

"Y dnt u close it for eternity?";
"I have a hope
And endless diminishing hope
For i know there is nothing as real as pain
And i am v scared!"

O meet me through the times
When leaving is evident
See the sun, setting its rays far beyond east
And love is blooming in air, inside dead feel of a body
Like a flowing stream, that has no start no end
Likewise my heart beaming tonight, with your love , in ur love
Seek pleasure through my ways, seeking the pain i felt in ur rememberings,
Ull never see parting of clouds or rain or breeze
In ur heart, from my soul, and ; this is my light
A light to the solemn heart of mine
Propelling me towards thr heaven of skies!!

Tameer-ay ulfat say bahter tameer-ay amarat
Aay baa-zoq sajda kar tou dekh kay kar,
Meray pahlo say liptii tere yaad-e-gah
Jumbash-e nam-tar, bay-wuqqat,bay-talab,
Bass ab har taraf niklay jo saaz-gar,
Naan muhabbat talab,naan lutf bar,
Sirf ikk adab,sirf ikk talab,
Iss zamana-e-nasaz ki sirf ikk hawas,
Taamer-ay amarat!!

Like this cold
I have fears and doubts
Like bargaining of apprehensions with my sleep
Wherever i speak, i am judged or mis- judged,
So i keep hold onto these cravings into me...
A breath , exasperated ; a heartbeat, so feeble; eyes, seek through the darkest souls,
My way out of this suffocation, or u can call it an apprehension!!
Someday may be, ill speak through the speakers of my nearby town,
Or blue mosque at the far end of the street,
Where reverberation of doubts donot find a cold feet....
Melting in fire, likewise i do sometimes every night,
Too hot to touch, too cold to leave!!

the magic of isolation is
not to fall in delusion of
LOVE
HAPPINESS
and
ACCOMPLISHMENT!!

The transition in managma, between the earth of mine and the sun of his
Hear! The verbatim say the story out and loud
This is like the volcanic eruption amongst the cold freezing mountain
And the warmth of its hug is devastating!

Secretly she put off all the past and the future
A secret from everyone, a revelation to only one
Like a pounding thunder lightening streams out the ways
Those elated by the memoir, the streangth and conviction
Shr breathesd out, a gasp of relief, like rebirth of a child
And for the first ever time she realised, the world in her room is so exultant and free-ed!!

The worst of all is
To be alone!

Loneliness......
U know how it feels to be alone
Like the last spark on the sky
After crackers fires
And rest of the light turns into ashes
Leaving behind the last spark to survive!

It is something like this
A small moment
Between leaving spring
And embracing autumn!

A very tiny cliche
Between hiccough of crying
And laughing hysterically!

A deep fear making you derwish
Like this moth in dark night
Continuously encircling the lantern light!

Feeling of being cursed
Like a little child
Witj parched dry lips
Waiting hopelessly for a wet sight!!

U ever felt the tormenting fear of being never held?; heart is such a disgusting place to live in
And ur mind search it constantly
A link between ur solemn heart
And attachment to the outside plight!!

they say
there is no space left
even  a void too large
to accommodate  all the sorrows and pain
still there is no space left
a heart of association is detached
its the story of time
under dust of moments
that are long forgotten...

a place where u find safe
whether in arms of ones
or the land so empty
its again
the matter of time
what ur heart decides
and affiliation is inseparable

love is like a growing tree
that tastes 4 seasons
from spring to autumn
it doesn't confide one season inside
kisses all four faces
and claims still to be in love
for love is the water
that keeps the seed growing
without owning it!!

i am a lover seeker
but a deceiver too
i am a wanderer lust-er
but  a loner too
i am a soother and a home , for homeless
but a ruthless and revengeful too....
we all live in a orbit of deception
a hide and seek space
where we ourselves unaware of the fact
who we really are...

this is the cycle of life
a wheel of love
a run on the road
a destination unknown,
still my friend
still,
we walk on a new dream
daily
after trashing the last one....
like crushed petals
engraved deep down
and sprout a new seed....

Nhn aayna- e -saaz main go-mago yay kaifiat
Jaisay burg- o -bahar main ** koe chingari
Jiss kay sholon main bujhay yay dil rakh ki soorat
Jisss kay chahray main jalay angari.....

Main wo zaat hon jiss ka koe shahar nhn
Jo jahan chalay wahan aag lagay
Jiss kay bayan main naan zahar naan amar
Jiss kay wajood main dah-kain sab raaz chupay.....

Nhn asbaab koe, nhn imkaan koe
Mere zaat kay hisaab main nhn jaan koe
Phir bhe toofan-e- azam liay chalti hon
Kay meray dard ki intiha ki nhn intiha koe.......

We
I
You
Us
They
Ours

The story concludes only on
Me!

the therapy catharsis by words
is so bleak, insignificant
A temporary relief
for the awakening will bring you the same pain again
with more force and flee!

where do exist the unlimited endlessness?

sometimes i feel, this word is weary,
the sensitivity is so manipulating
and contradictory to all the reasons,
that it scaring-ly lure upon the fleak,
so bleakly ,
that the existance becomes unquestionable!!

Days been very long, idle, like sunshine pouring in , in excess
For no reason likewise you close eyes for ages and beyond
And stretch your arms to embrace the wind or let go of quenched , suffocated storm....

Such been the days, where i sit on sofa aimlessly under cover of blanket
Its sunny warm, but inside cold is leaping beyond and beyond
Open books and read the line twice, still confused, i yawn and yawn
And than sleep for dreaming something, i never imagine to get hold on!!!!

Its been long, i have seen the setting of dawn
These big silent creepy building have taken over the whole citu charm..
People are disgusted by their thoughts, worries rule the realm of thorn
And sitting inside this small room, i am counting days, for how long will i have to stay without the love charm!

lets imagine an illusion for a time being where illustration of my hidden blackened thoughts can be canvassed without any distortion of fear,trapping and misjudged(or rightly judged).i read somewhere that we all are bad filthy cynical people if we raise the un-attended curtain in dark hole, and that cynical one can even take life for pleasure.
how pain can be associated with pleasure?? never i knew that before until one day i took this beast out of me and it made me surprised from the deligince of its curiosity and rageness of emotions....
sometimes ******* of filthy mind is all what u need.. "who is ur ******??" did u ever ask this urself?? did u ever tried to get drunk without having whiskey? did u ever dreamt of leaping deep in ocean of ur soul without leaping ur faith?

so many misconduct around us, but if one tries to really express himself, that misconduct is considered biggest of all sins. i sinned once and for all, that sin completed me.
it is hard to embrace ur alienist mind, and the act that is considered misconduct, but its not impossible to actually explore the whole of urself until u be able to say proudly "I KNOW ME"  and that is actually the time where "U DNT KNOW URSELF EXACTLY"

U know,
Donot turn back
Donot look behind
Dont and never think of past
When
For once
Only for once
Your own self is crushed
And self respect humiliated!
Make it clear
You have no role in this play, anymore!