yay jo haal hoa sare- shaam hi,
siyah dasht -o- garibaan hoa,
Mjhay hasil naan tha jo kamal bhe,
Wo bay-sabab shikasta -o -jaan hoa..
aay rahbar -e-zindagi, yay kaisi taveel tar raat hai,
Naan amaan mili, naan hi koe imtihaan hoa!!
Wo jo pamaal kar gay meray khwab ko,
us hashar-e- jaan ka kia samaan hoa;
Yunheen gard main liptay bujhay khayal,
Shahr say jaanay ka yun ihtimaam hoa!
Yay rang nhn saraab hain,yay ehsaas say door paar hain,
Meray bayrabt say tootay pyaar main,Jo hoa tou bass yunheen hoa!!

this is the nation who loves to write, but the actions are limited to dreams, to thoughts that are not even processed-- this is the nation that hates to be fooled, yet fool ownself again and again by love of things and hatred for people...

i can never attribute to the happenings around me, neither  have i any contribution in making and defaming the things that comfort me, people those adore me, and offcourse ppl haters for me. i just am living a life made by someone and still complaining for the distress they are creating when my contribution in making myself is none.....

i used to think of love for love, an ecstatic love that makes u forget everything-- an enigmatic love above all fragrances, since , i saw those little face at 10 pm, sunday night , no shoes, ***** outfits and running infront of fruit shop with juices in their hands being given by that fruit keeper. they had a vibrance on their faces, as if after long hard day begging they have got what they never dreamt of. they were running but with slow pace for fear of spillage of a single drop, and ofcourse din drink it for long for fear of it may not end so quickly--- I UNDERSTOOD THE MEANING OF YEARNING, LOVE AND DESIRES that night. love has too many aspects, i forgot till that night.

i am sharpening my sixth sense with sounds of imaginative broken heart, a dreadful scream, a dream that is shattered, a helpless soul, a bargain with no benefit, a crack in soul, an irtrepairable hurt. i have sharpened my senses, but still i dnt have a courage to face it.

luxuries never play with the sound mind for they give comfort, they pamper insane heart who is in search of so many things that are not even known to him.

i am in process of making and remaking, yet defying my spirit every day with daily activities makes me a better person. does shaping and reshaoing has any role until ur break and re-break urself??

i am finding a beginning in a chapter, first page of a book with remarks of triumph, and last page of this book with words of gain. i read again and again shame, shame and nothing without shame. discomfort dis-arm me everytime i go through the words of book, and i look for peace in silnce of my sleep.

aghast, tired, struck in confusion, i wrap up everyday the left overs, trash them far in dreams in no- land, with hope of new in another day. sleeps make me tired to wake me up to look for same trash i threw a day back with same lethargic breaths. y days go so long for the beginners??

this world is at its best show..faces of varied appear in fraction of seconds when i walk, and in my dreams they haunt me..people , likewise this time are on their moves, at their best, not an err not a sin, not a punishment,its just that they are people...of different colors and language and thoughts and ambitions...

y the color of land is getting dark with sunset..i watch it every evening from my window, it never speaks..it never complains...but y today i feel the essence of pain flowing from West and my heart sinking down,....silence is a pin, an unbearable pain, that resides in me, like dead quieteness after horrible storm in lonely vast desert..my heart has gone dusty like that brown desert where warm winds play their games on and off and with each breaking of dawn it prepares itself for another tiring day.....


and and and and and and and and
I tryyyy
but but but but but but but but but
i am tryinggg
scratching it, rubbing it
its red v v v v red
wash it
or
throw it away
trembling, trembling, tremb... shhhh
they will lissen,world is ending
and...
.....
......
i need sleep, long sleep....


somewhere in my halts, my silence speaks..but no one here is to lissen,,may b if they wud, no one is here to understand.,.there is long silence,, awkward silence..like a prostitutes keeps to her while dancing, an enigmatic silence, like a pain she keeps while laughing, a strange laugh, a weird smile....like a blindness in her gaze, a strange , deep gaze....


i soak myself in their colors,
and i forget me, in this play
they favor me of reminding all this
and with wide artificial smile, i negate.
my existance as if has gone burdened
on me as if, i am loading weight in tons
yet moving at ease, fleeing!!



some words are never meant to have any meanings..infact my any word doesnot keep any meaning..its all in space, its all alien..i myself is unaware...i myself wonder...

do i need to mention my identity?

u find a strange heart,
ask it the cause of existance,
a wondrous expression,
and a reason of being gypsy...
on stalk of dreams,
flowy in windy breeze,
i rely my everything for sake of love,
from every direction comes only a gaze ,
of hatred and deception!!


for sake of love, a dead city,
awakens from the spreading of dust,
sun kisses in its golden color,
the blueness of vast sky,
and life is blown in souls rust,
just for sake of love!!


ur thought, a reflection,
shivers me thorough,
makes me tremble,
like an autumn leaf in season of fall,
i make a call,
for my fragile heart,
to be held and enslaved by the moment of love,
just for sake of love!!


it is falling slowly on island of dark hold,
i need a courage yet, to leave this place,
my eyes glare upon the paths unknown,
silence is its passanger,
and companions are nt sober too,
but,
i am waiting for moon to show me the way,
so i cross the leap,
dive deep,
the oceans of oceans,
in love,
just for sake of llove!!

there is an air surronding me
no air can be this big
than a heart of sorrow
than the forgetfulness of joy
no air can be this gracious
to keep this heart
to accommodate this soul
to forget the revenge!!


yes,
there is an air!!


i am saddend by the movement of light,
running back , in fraction of second
faces so grim, voices so dim,
and i stand here on same spot
for centuries!!


yes,
there is a moment!!



rememberance ,
insanity ,
forgetfulness,
vanity,
i reciprocated my voice with mark of node,
faces, faces, faces,
so much to say, so much to speak,
it dribbles in moment of love till the peak of joy,
than it is overwhelmed
only by the moment of silence!!

yes,
there is an air
there is a moment!!

the saint raised his eye brows and looked at my worned out face,
night as if have swollowed my speeches
and my sleeps always wait for rising days,
' u are desiring for waste when time is ahead, LORD is busy in bestowing the hosts,
attend ur heart that mourns whole night, hold ur breaths those dying to gt behold'
'i look up at the sky with sleepless tiring eyes,
''call the mountains when i get old,
beaten rocks , parched lands embracing sunset, grave the pleasures where hearts too cold,
my dreams insane me , when i drink the taste of ignorance,
i frown and i drown in my own silence, when my words hate me,
i bury my head again for no sake, for no treasure,
when i look at the baseless life, when i laugh at the senseless fear''

sometimes i denied the importance of a breath
that keeps me ajar in times when everyone sleeps
a secret keeper of my naive heart
that has now been surronded by orchestra
a fresh start as if flowers have just erupted out of a fertile land
seeing through such veil,
behined the bars of the old wet times
i miss them, so eagerly, so wantedly i miss them
that my heart goes silent suddenly ,in a memory!!
i painted my walls, the color was so bright i cudnt see the amber,
i decorated my art wall with random childish faces, that made me smile even when i am astray,
she said today when she came upstairs, remember the ones that made themselves surrender in ur love,
and yes that love, a true love, will stay in a room filled with cups,
empty, full of beer, juices of different colors, and beverages of all types,
i put down them on the table bedside,and in nights i remmeber the laughters and joys...
and than tym flies on until i am flourished with the orchestra of different llyrics
and flowers are still fresh on my bed,a bald womb yet,
still filled up to my dreams,
a life so swift, a time keeps on drift,
until dawn turns to dusk and dusk to dark armor of night,
and untill u take last minute of  breathe, of ""The end"" sight!!