and its like I'm floating, drifting into an state unconsciousness. something i don't quite know how to explain and don't quite want to. but if you saw you'd understand

and when I'm lost i look for my light whether near or far, there you are. my light home, my hope and my serenity.

and i remember our second date, we went to my favorite place and just sat in your car and talked. its so wild how from the minute we met each other we had this unreal, unheard of connection that no words can describe. its like I've always known you, as if we have lived vicariously through each other without ever even knowing it. anyway, on our second date you told me the song "Green Eyes" by Coldplay reminded you of me and in that moment you would've thought that nothing could go wrong ever. but that also takes me back to our first date how we had talked for over a month and i could tell i liked you but you were so secretive about if you liked me so i kept my feelings at bay and tried my best not to show mine either. but once again like i said, this wasn't the first time I've met you; maybe on earth but somewhere else I've known you my entire life. and i knew you liked me i really did no matter how many times you tried to deny it or push it or me away i knew you did. because from sunrise to sunset we talked to each other. we didn't know that each of us would be the person that would change us so much for the better. cause you see, when you met me i was the girl who was shattered to pieces and it looked as if there was no changing that; the girl who was so sharp and so innocent, the one who would help you grow in ways you saw unfixable. and when i met you, you were the guy who was at the top of his game, far from a broken point, someone who didn't know innocence. you're the guy that would put me back together in ways more beautiful than before. we were the people each other knew deep down they needed, but weren't looking in the right places. you looked in the bottom of a bottle and i looked at the bottom of a boy who never found out who she really was, just created someone she never was.

It's become so hard to write beautiful poems
Because it seems that I only pour my sadness out when I write
And I have absolutely no reason for sadness
Therefore I just leave my pen on my desk,
I don't ever pick it up anymore ;
Because I now know joy and everything that goes with it
Now I only listen to swinging songs
And I just dance to them all night long,
Now I only watch decent films and not depressing ones,
Even my psychologist says I've overcome my depression
But now I can't write anymore..
I've forgotten what beauty sounds like
When I try to put my happiness down on paper
I can't even do it properly

I'm used to writing about death
And tears, lost love and broken hearts
Now all my sadness' gone
And I wish I could write about her smile
But my poem would be too joyful, and that is just not me.

and here you are trying not to stare at what you used to know like the back of your hand. someone so simple yet more complex than the universe and all of its planets. someone who would rather run her car of the road into a tumultuous death than watch the boy she loved go about his life as if they'd never met. yet here you are, burying her as if you never witnessed those parts of her. watching as if you never were those parts of her. but you were and you can hear the bones breaking as you come to realize that she was you and you were her and no matter what you change and how much you change, you were her. no matter how many feet into the deep, cold ground she lies.

Babe it's been a long day
Let's say we go straight to bed
Where we can lose ourselves in each other
Where I can lay my hand on your heart to re energize my soul
Where we can gaze out the bedroom window,  watching the stars sing their twinkling lullaby
Where frozen licorice  and pizza is the meal of the day
Where we can listen to Radiolab weave stories and science into sound
Where we can hear all about the Galapolas and feel like we are there.
Where sleep will eventual takes us to another day