I want love
And not the kind that shines brightly just to burn out quickly
No the kind that shines steadily and lasts more than one night

A day of wonder
Is a day I do not know
A day I have not been able to explore
Yet instead I discover the blood within lungs
preventing me from breathing
I cannot analyse the faces before me
The smiles
The happiness
I often wonder if that shall ever be applicable to me
If the sun will ever gift my skin with the shine it bestows upon others
They testify that I hallucinate
that none of my worries belong in reality
none of them are worth existing

Her voice
Is so soothing
Her arms
Are so welcoming
I love you

My love for you grew strong and tall
Even when you tried to weather my affection with your bitter words and cut it down into nothing
yet, still my love flourished touching the skyline and bringing you a light you never dreamt was in existence

My eyes are burning and oh so red

I need a hug but got a pinch instead

My senses are growing weak and my hands are shaking

Because everyday my smile is what I'm faking

But when Mr.Dark comes and the daylight is gone

I silently cry till I'm no more

They all ask me if I want to die
How can a dead plant die again?,unless its torched in that case set my body alight.Watch it burn and fade as the smoke melds with the tortured clouds.As my remenants become bad omens to the once blue skies.
Listen to the sizzle of burning skin,as the tears you are forcing come out in inadequate drops.
But no,I am not dead.Not physically but oh how I corrode inside,waiting for the day when all can smell the decay.
I wait for arms to evelop me,if not yours then his or hers.Greedy eyes,I wait for them to drink me but how I am left to wait is a sin on its own.
I wait however,still waiting as my arm burns itself with its own sorrow,I wait and it seems like forever until maybe the moon will be full enough for me to see my reflection and call upon the other lost souls of the world.

Destroyed am I?
I cannot tell
For when I loved you
My heart would swell

Broken am I?
That's a lie
For when I loved you
I never did cry

Lost am I?
That's not the truth
For when I was with you
My passion took root

Angry am I?
No,I liked the allure
But I also learnt that I deserve more

Books are the most welcoming
They let you stare and they never push you aside
Humans aren't always welcoming
If you stare they may mace you and they don't just push,they make sure you hit the ground

They tell you to dive in
Head first
But you do not want your chest torn open for love
You want it to fill your heart gently

I have never known a chest could feel this heavy
Did stones embed themselves within last night?
Was I in too deep of slumber to realise I was sinking to the deepest of seas?
I had not noticed that my toes were slowly weathering away until all I had left were my knees
I had not bothered or even dared to pay close enough attention to the fact my arms too were slowly disappearing
Parts of me blowing across the wind to a place I will never know
But this wind need not have come in if you had not opened the door

The end of the worlds chapter is coming

Will you be in the rolling credits?

If a woman is nothing
Then so is the sky
Becuasw ow can a body that contains the moon, sun and so many stars be constantly told it will never be big enough
And yet still have people gaze up ait it's wonder
My darling,
You are the sky
Through and through
You are limitless
You are boundless
And you are free
And for those who constantly say you are nothing
Well my dear they never carried the sun or the moon
So they will never understand how breathtaking your very existence is

I stay awake through the night
Chipping at my nails
The blood around reminds me to ask
"Why do you love me?"
The half moon lingering on my skin yet not masking the scars and marks

I was a teardrop before
Until I grew into something more
I became waves
I became torrents

I was a trickle before
But now i rush towards light
I was nothing but little hopes
And now I am the dreams

Pelvic stars glow across my being,
But just because this light allures you does not mean you are welcome to take what lays in between the infinite universe of those stars

Your dark skin
Is pure and undiluted
Wonderful and not in need of explanation
It is wholesome and enough

Once there was love,
A vast torrent of emotion pulling at the strings of her heart.
Once there was love,
Soft kisses replaced by rough hands.
Once there was love,
But then violation after violation replaced that love.

I hate being told how I feel..it annoys me
The chills and the tingles I felt were never a lie
The honesty I portrayed
The true care and patience was never a lie
Please don't tell me how I feel.for you have no idea

Dreams don't hurt unless you want them to
Even nightmares coated with screams and quicksand won't hurt unless you want it to.Unless you forfeit all the power you have in the slumber real.

But why should you?

I need to lay in your arms. Where the smell of forest resides and moonshine leaves its dust in your hair.
Where the illumination of your loving heart breaks the ice within mine
Where safety is completely defined and completely true
Where happiness is ready to embrace me as I fall into your love
Where the darkness can do nothing but watch with envy as it hands cannot reach me anymore
Let me lay in your arms.
Where the certainty of peace will forever be

**** your eyes
The way they look at me
Peeling off my skin and revealing beauty
The way those lips testify of my glory
One which I never knew
And your words birth me anew
Like the saving fire of a pitch black night

Your hands never felt mine before
But they understood like they were born together
As though our fingers were locked in a silent embrace from time
Yet they were not,we were not

I fall back into myself some days and you grasp me just in time before I am swallowed
I still know that magic does not exist
It does not need to when you are around

You broke my heart
And there was blood everywhere
So I tried to wash it all away with alcohol
But that just made me a little too drunk

The funny thing about love is
When you try to fill the other person's lungs with smoke,so they can't breathe without you
You end up setting your heart on fire
And burning it away

I sowed your name unto my wrist in red thread
So the devil knew who I belonged to and who would come

My mind is like a moonless night
Devoid of stars

I've never been in love with myself as I have been the last few months
Loving my soul, body and mind
And not apologising for what this trinity produces, creates or loves

I wonder if I said I need someone how many will come
I wonder if I said I need to talk how many will listen
I wonder if I said I need to cry how many will care
I wonder if I said I need to die how many will try to stop me

I die inside everyday but no one sees,but all honesty there is no one to see.I walk the streets alone and dance on the raging sea,when the night is still young and i see the purple left by the sun.Blood and tears mix and fall upon the canvas of my skin,broken.memories replaying in my head.My heart.knocks against my hollow chest,begging me to feed it with the love it knows exists.I thud against my chest,silencing my frightened heart,giving it smoke of relentless pain instead to quench its thirst.Then my limbs ask for attention too,begging to be coaxed awake for once and not left to die like autumn leaves,I silence them too.Finally my eyes ponder at the sight they see,black and white,what happened to the purple the sun left they ask.I silence them as well and they sleep for eternity

There is this feeling I am trying to deminish within

I wish to hold you my king.and love you like we are stuck between dawn and dusk

Love makes us do crazy things
Like living when the world is nothing but chaos

Eventually,when every blood vessel is popping.

I'll be thinking of you

The words will come
At the dead of night
Did you not see!
They passed your sight!

Sometimes you do not know the pain you are trying to bury
You do not remember it's name
But you know it is there
So you lick up your shovel and just keep burying
Hoping that maybe it will be too far buried to crawl back out
But I don't think it was ever in the hole to begin with
It snuck out when your back was turned

There have been ways to love you
Tell me so I can too

You're magic
Pure and undiluted

My head hurts because I keep thinking of things my brain tells me will never be

Sometimes I hide within myself
Within the folds of my soul
But then you coax me out gently
And I have to say I have never felt so alive

I sit and ponder of a world without you
A world were I could no longer walk in your footsteps
Or smell you in the air
A world where the flowers didn't desire to remind me of you
That world has a name and it is called
Hell

Beauty is shy sometimes
It is not commanding nor demanding
No
It hides in the corner of the room

They were under intense heat,not of the sun but of each other

He said to her
"These are our kissing moments"

But she replied

"No,its more than that its when our souls touch"

You let happen what you think should happen

My body was gray
And then you kissed more colours unto me than I had ever seen

You ****** out the nectar I gathered for years
And now that my sweet scent is gone
You found another flower

The signs are there
My poetry is declining
And so am I

Mirrors
reflecting
reflecting what?
my poor excuse for a face?
for a soul?
for a life?

I am like a new window, I just hope life doesnt taint me too much, actually I am waiting for the right stains

Woman,
Your hands are meant to cook
Or so they tell me

Woman,
Your back is meant to bear a child
Or so they tell me

Woman,
Your body is meant to satisfy
Or so they tell me

Woman,
Your lips are meant to be silent
Or so they tell me

But Woman,
You are so much more
I tell myself

Woman,
Your hands make so much more than just "good food"
I tell myself

Woman,
Your mind, your soul is intricate your thoughts matter
I tell myself

Woman,
You can build or you can destroy
What you are depends on only you
I continue to tell myself

My hair is made of flowers
Yet they tell me I am not pretty enough
My skin is made of honey
Yet they tell me I am not sweet enough
Clouds linger in my eyes
Yet they tell me I do not dream
And in these moments I realise no matter how whole I am, for some I will never be enough

The stars burn brightly
as bright as I once did
now this is just mockery