You know you need to change
When you look at every passerby with lust between your eyes
When you crave the skin of a stranger that only ever said "Hello"

Sometimes you do not know the pain you are trying to bury
You do not remember it's name
But you know it is there
So you lick up your shovel and just keep burying
Hoping that maybe it will be too far buried to crawl back out
But I don't think it was ever in the hole to begin with
It snuck out when your back was turned

Write with blood and they will see
Write with blood and you will forever be
Write with blood to be everlasting
Write with blood it is quite enchanting
Write with blood it is not at all frightful
Write with blood it is more beautiful
Write with blood for it turns black
Write with blood so you never turn back

She wanted to be held tight
But he held her back
She wanted to be held up
But he held her down

No...

There is this feeling I am trying to deminish within

I watch
I wait
I pray my eyes deceived me
I pray my ears misheardbut I know they did not
I know I have been foolish
There is no redemption at this point
I had always warned you

A day of wonder
Is a day I do not know
A day I have not been able to explore
Yet instead I discover the blood within lungs
preventing me from breathing
I cannot analyse the faces before me
The smiles
The happiness
I often wonder if that shall ever be applicable to me
If the sun will ever gift my skin with the shine it bestows upon others
They testify that I hallucinate
that none of my worries belong in reality
none of them are worth existing

I hate being told how I feel..it annoys me
The chills and the tingles I felt were never a lie
The honesty I portrayed
The true care and patience was never a lie
Please don't tell me how I feel.for you have no idea

Pelvic stars glow across my being,
But just because this light allures you does not mean you are welcome to take what lays in between the infinite universe of those stars

Her voice
Is so soothing
Her arms
Are so welcoming
I love you

I want love
And not the kind that shines brightly just to burn out quickly
No the kind that shines steadily and lasts more than one night

My eyes are burning and oh so red

I need a hug but got a pinch instead

My senses are growing weak and my hands are shaking

Because everyday my smile is what I'm faking

But when Mr.Dark comes and the daylight is gone

I silently cry till I'm no more

Destroyed am I?
I cannot tell
For when I loved you
My heart would swell

Broken am I?
That's a lie
For when I loved you
I never did cry

Lost am I?
That's not the truth
For when I was with you
My passion took root

Angry am I?
No,I liked the allure
But I also learnt that I deserve more

I was a teardrop before
Until I grew into something more
I became waves
I became torrents

I was a trickle before
But now i rush towards light
I was nothing but little hopes
And now I am the dreams

The heart contradicts

Books are the most welcoming
They let you stare and they never push you aside
Humans aren't always welcoming
If you stare they may mace you and they don't just push,they make sure you hit the ground

My love for you grew strong and tall
Even when you tried to weather my affection with your bitter words and cut it down into nothing
yet, still my love flourished touching the skyline and bringing you a light you never dreamt was in existence

Dreams don't hurt unless you want them to
Even nightmares coated with screams and quicksand won't hurt unless you want it to.Unless you forfeit all the power you have in the slumber real.

But why should you?

You broke my heart
And there was blood everywhere
So I tried to wash it all away with alcohol
But that just made me a little too drunk

Your dark skin
Is pure and undiluted
Wonderful and not in need of explanation
It is wholesome and enough

I stay awake through the night
Chipping at my nails
The blood around reminds me to ask
"Why do you love me?"
The half moon lingering on my skin yet not masking the scars and marks

The end of the worlds chapter is coming

Will you be in the rolling credits?

Once there was love,
A vast torrent of emotion pulling at the strings of her heart.
Once there was love,
Soft kisses replaced by rough hands.
Once there was love,
But then violation after violation replaced that love.

The words will come
At the dead of night
Did you not see!
They passed your sight!

I die inside everyday but no one sees,but all honesty there is no one to see.I walk the streets alone and dance on the raging sea,when the night is still young and i see the purple left by the sun.Blood and tears mix and fall upon the canvas of my skin,broken.memories replaying in my head.My heart.knocks against my hollow chest,begging me to feed it with the love it knows exists.I thud against my chest,silencing my frightened heart,giving it smoke of relentless pain instead to quench its thirst.Then my limbs ask for attention too,begging to be coaxed awake for once and not left to die like autumn leaves,I silence them too.Finally my eyes ponder at the sight they see,black and white,what happened to the purple the sun left they ask.I silence them as well and they sleep for eternity

I've never been in love with myself as I have been the last few months
Loving my soul, body and mind
And not apologising for what this trinity produces, creates or loves

There have been ways to love you
Tell me so I can too

I need to lay in your arms. Where the smell of forest resides and moonshine leaves its dust in your hair.
Where the illumination of your loving heart breaks the ice within mine
Where safety is completely defined and completely true
Where happiness is ready to embrace me as I fall into your love
Where the darkness can do nothing but watch with envy as it hands cannot reach me anymore
Let me lay in your arms.
Where the certainty of peace will forever be

I sowed your name unto my wrist in red thread
So the devil knew who I belonged to and who would come

I wonder if I said I need someone how many will come
I wonder if I said I need to talk how many will listen
I wonder if I said I need to cry how many will care
I wonder if I said I need to die how many will try to stop me

The funny thing about love is
When you try to fill the other person's lungs with smoke,so they can't breathe without you
You end up setting your heart on fire
And burning it away

**** your eyes
The way they look at me
Peeling off my skin and revealing beauty
The way those lips testify of my glory
One which I never knew
And your words birth me anew
Like the saving fire of a pitch black night

Your hands never felt mine before
But they understood like they were born together
As though our fingers were locked in a silent embrace from time
Yet they were not,we were not

I fall back into myself some days and you grasp me just in time before I am swallowed
I still know that magic does not exist
It does not need to when you are around

Sometimes I hide within myself
Within the folds of my soul
But then you coax me out gently
And I have to say I have never felt so alive

You're magic
Pure and undiluted

Eventually,when every blood vessel is popping.

I'll be thinking of you

My mind is like a moonless night
Devoid of stars

The stars burn brightly
as bright as I once did
now this is just mockery

My body was gray
And then you kissed more colours unto me than I had ever seen

I'm laying here being highly confused about my life and all I can do is stare into space and pray for an outlet to fall into my lap
An outlet to let me express, let me feel, let me scream
And here I an writing
Because unbeknown to me my prayers were answered long ago
Yet I was too blinded by my need for another's glory that I didn't see mine staring at me, waving at me and calling my name

You ****** out the nectar I gathered for years
And now that my sweet scent is gone
You found another flower

I sit and ponder of a world without you
A world were I could no longer walk in your footsteps
Or smell you in the air
A world where the flowers didn't desire to remind me of you
That world has a name and it is called
Hell

We are all equal
The only thing that separates us is the efforts we put into developing our beings

If only they didn't leave me here alone
To catch their last breaths in my lungs
And taste them like they were still here

My hair is made of flowers
Yet they tell me I am not pretty enough
My skin is made of honey
Yet they tell me I am not sweet enough
Clouds linger in my eyes
Yet they tell me I do not dream
And in these moments I realise no matter how whole I am, for some I will never be enough

I want to be whole again
And the hate eating me inside is stopping that

Is it fates way of telling me I deserve the universes I have yet to discover
By lacing my soul with yours?
By making my happiness that did not exist
Raise to the stars and kiss the blackness of skys

I waited for an eternity to be exposed to a love as raw as this
I begged for a century more for it to last as this one seems to grow roots deep

I wish to hold you my king.and love you like we are stuck between dawn and dusk

When you love so many times
You realize you have a BIG heart
but a small brain

The girl that sits infront of you
Having ended her journey
Is not the same girl who started her journey
So please don't dare speak to her like the old her that is lost