Wind soaked air
Blood soaked red
Mouth soaked words
Sound soaked ears
Months soaked dead
Tears soaked eyes
Nose soaked smells
months soaked years
Life soaked experiences

My cell door seems tighter than before
The weak hinges mocking me with their glittering faces and beautiful posture.

Even the ceiling that was once dull and brown seems so pristine and glowing or is my misery lying to my eyes?

The blankets I have slept on for a dozen years are cold and wet and yet I don't know what bothers me more,the stench that stings my eyes or the fact you are not here to make it seem like rose beds.

The warden could not walk before,his legs broken or was that his heart?he looked at me with grief most days and cried others..now that you are gone it feels as though he laughs while his dim eyes look at me,his smiles as if mocking my loneliness.

Finally the little bird that used to sit on the tree..far off with bright blue feathers yet with an ugly beak came to me,its eyes glowing with mischief a song on its tongue, telling me it knew you were gone and I had to start counting down the days when my legs would give,my soul would rip and my love would fade.so I took it in my hands quietly caressing rhise feathers and snapped its neck. For no creature could understand how lost beingg without you made me

He searches for sweetness
And yet there you are
Right in front of him
Honey
Flower
Sugar

I found myself missing your touch
Your lips on the autumn days that have come back
I missed your smile. The smile only I could project
I miss the wavering of your hand as you touched the maps of our bodies to discover new places
I never knew it would come to an end, that those crevices you discovered would lay neglected for half an eternity
But they did
Until now

I cut
I slice
I tear
I open
I split
I divide
I crack
I break
I destroy every part of me eachday for you

I smile
I lie
I laugh
I giggle with every part of me eachday for you

I wish someone could see beyond this fragile face

I wish someone could see I am more than a disgrace.

I wish I could talk and let how I feel show

I wish my heart was simple with a subtle glow.

But if I got all my wishes how would I learn?

No harsh people and no one so stern.

My memories would be a tape on constant  repeat

But still I wish someone would see

Who it is that is really me

I trust you

I trust you

But what good is that to me?

I watch you

I watch you

Trying my hardest not to breathe

In such a such time you mean so much

Now I've lost the way,what was it I wanted to say.

His hands were to be strong enough to carry us both
But how bruised and battered were his hands
How broken were his fingers
And where were his nails?

But he was told he needed to be stronger,  
To carry me even when his hands were broken
But they forgot I could walk
And I could lift him with me

******* is what you say to me
You're feeding me crap everyday single day
But yet, I still eat
With my eyes closed
No where to go.

******* is what you say to me
Your lies just roll of your tongue like a symphony

My lips are too dry,to accompany the truth
My eyes are to tired so the lies take root
My heart is too lazy to realize its pain
My brain is too distorted to see its insane
My feet are too weak to even move
My ears are too fragile to hear the grove
My body is...
shutting down
to welcome the **ground

If the noose was around my neck and not his
If the blade was in my hands and hers
If the pills where down my throat and not theirs
My face would still not be on the news
My name would still not be sung
My memory would be wiped off like last Octobers dust

It is in your hands
Without shape
But full of many possibilities
Shape it
Live
This year is yours

I dreamt of a dream
Where I was happy in happiness
Where I was sad in sorrow
And anger in rage


I dreamt of a dream
Where I was paradise to heaven
Where I was lucid to water
And flames to fire

I dreamt of a dream
Where I was a dreamer of illusions
Where I was the harmony of peace

You write your pain upon your wirst
you make it look like you broke your fist
the world has changed and so have we
close your eyes and follow me

Dont let the darkness win
dont let yourself succumb to sin
dont be afraid dont you shout
I will be here to figure you out

I will draw a map from eyes to mine
I will drink you up like the blackest wine
I will make sure you're not dead
I will make sure you have your head

You will be mine to keep
If you promise not to lie in your sleep
do not think to betray me
do not think to throw it all into the sea

Till I father you,
Just let those nights abuse you
Just let those winds cut you

Till I father you,
Just let those wounds hang up to dry
Just break your heart and silently die

Till I father you,
Just let those men abuse you
Just let those women belittle you

Till I father you,
Just know when I break your wings it is for your own good
Just know when my screams tear at your flesh it is for your own good

Till I fatther you,
Just know I am never here to listen
Just know you were forced upon me

Everything is talking
You're either talking to yourself
Or you're talking to the world
If you love
You talk
If you hate
You talk
A good experience
You talk
A bad experience
You talk.
All, everything of this universe this dimension and most likely the next is based on communication, one way or another and talking does not always mean words, it can be actions, signs, designs. We talk, through our art, eyes, lies, fears, desires, fantasies and , ore. And I'm beginning to understand how fundamental it is for us to keep talking, even though it would be extremely yard for us to stop in the first place

Some days all you want is for someone to say to you
"I am happy you are here"
To listen to them speak about how your touch, gaze and smell intoxicates and influences them
Those days will come my dear, do not fight it
But fight the worthlessness it ever threatens to bring

As the sun rises so do my fears
As I cower and tremble with tears
The glow of dawn has never been so polite
My need to run always hidden by the night.
But now the sun is rising its orange mask bringing the heat.
As I turn my head and rise to my feet.
I am ready to run
For my fears have come with the sun

I told you i didnt like being vulnerable
and you said no one does
and perhaps that is true
because no one likes exposing their wounds to someone
without knowing if they would pour salt in or not
and instead wash the wounds and bandage them

However much you washed my wounds tho
My head still tells me you WANT to pour salt in them and when i think like that...

I end up wishing i never met you

Ten hundred skins, have been mounted upon my flesh

Her ******* you say
Are only good for suckling
For your needs
For your mouth
So you tell your friends as your laughter vibrates and shakes the room
You fail to tell them that her ******* often cradle your head when you weep
That the only vibrations in those moments are you choking on tears

Her hips you say
Are only good for holding her in place
For making her stay
Because "she's yours"
You fail to tell your friends those hips are often the only thing that hold you up
When you are shaking
And the world is spinning
That they are the only thing that steady your feet

Her hands you say
Are only good for chopping, stirring, serving
For creating anything you desire
You fail to tell them that those hands are often your only saving grace
That those hands have pulled you up when you could not find the strength to

So you forget
All the things about her that keep you alive
Instead you tell the things you believe she is only alive for

My brain was right.Those things shall never be

Like a knife to my ribs..
its tearing...its tearing fast
That's what knowing you could be hurt is doing

That dust beaten ground welcomes your body
The vines of yesterdays sins wind round your legs
And you wait
You wait patiently for the tender ground to open its graceful mouth and take you uponits ttongue and swallow you into the venue of darkness
You dig your toes into sand and lay awake  star searching,yet you find not a single map to Venus
So as the wind howls,you sing along
Hoping that the mermaids far and wide can be kind enough to write you a Requiem to sing over your worthless grave

Popping veins like champagne bottles

The wishing well is too far deep
That I think my wish got stuck
And now vines grow around it
Choking out the will of my dreams

My heart is broken beyond repair
I dont want anyone to come near
I still am afriad I still have fear
becausr you were what I held dear

A silent night, disturbed by your feverish search for something unknown.
You reached for me, holding the silver marker in your hand and drew me close.

You began to draw upon my ebony skin, the ever darkness a wonderful contrast to the silver at hand.

You flicked your wrists here and there till you art was complete, creating a sea of stars on ever inch of my chocolate being, I was the universe. In that single moment I was everything that was needed to even exist and that was when you whispered " I cannot breathe without you."

Being bound to love

Is bound to fall

But being bound to fall

Is bound to trust

And being bound to trust

Means even if that person doesn't catch you when you fall

You were happy to have died from the love

There is rain
But it's coming from my eyes
It's a downpour

No...

When life gets u down just remember you are almost at the finish line,so never stop running

If my skin was white
Would I be safer?
Would my voice be louder?
And would my accomplishments be greater?
Would I matter?

Would I be allowed to live or is there no happiness?
Truthfully, I would not prefer the latter

I could go on for days of my woes
And the places I have found shelter
My music, my art, my poetry and how possibly they could be better

But they are my solace
They dont hush me and say *Shhh let's talk about your blackness later"

It doesn't hurt any less

I close my eyes still,hoping you will be behind them
I reach out my hand wishing a drop of your love would fall unto my awaiting palm
I purse my lips praying that tender moments would embrace them again
I wrinkle my nose begging that those smells of lucid dreams and purple roses would fill it once more
I twitch my ears thinking that perhaps they had deceived at last and that truly all this time you were behind me

He will love you like there is no tomorrow.
Hold you like you are the last hope on earth.
Touch you like his fingers haven't experienced the gold that is your body.
He will praise you and raise you up like the highest mountain.
Display his love for you in torrents of unspeakable affection.
He will treasure you as though you are a rare gem,
One that so many explorers have tried yet failed to discover.
He will remind you of how beautiful you are
And how you deserve the space you occupy in this world.
And he will always make sure you realize just how truly special
And cherished you are and make sure you don't feel less important than you truly are

How do you feel
When you realise you were the cloud that tried to block my sun
Float away little cloud because I will break through you

She wanted to be held tight
But he held her back
She wanted to be held up
But he held her down

I radiated heat
Like the sun
But it wasn't until your arms touched me
That my blood began to run cold

Ready yourself
Steady yourself
And go

If love isn't tended to
If it isn't even remembered for the longest of times
Yet it still finds a way to survive
Then it is all you will ever need

Words refuse to die
So do not give the wrong words life
Because words my flutter away
But they always make their way back home

And don't apologise darling
For taking your time to choose
For wanting to know what *** feels like
But wanting to know what making love feels like more

I watch
I wait
I pray my eyes deceived me
I pray my ears misheardbut I know they did not
I know I have been foolish
There is no redemption at this point
I had always warned you

As those arms wrap around my waist
and I see.nebulars and galaxies
I feel complete
and nothing can compare to the astronomically ruckus of.joy erupting from my belly
I feel like universies are born from my fingertips
and possibiliteis are born from my lips
I feel like I AM life
all that is..

You will either do one of two things with your life
Please people
Or help people

Write with blood and they will see
Write with blood and you will forever be
Write with blood to be everlasting
Write with blood it is quite enchanting
Write with blood it is not at all frightful
Write with blood it is more beautiful
Write with blood for it turns black
Write with blood so you never turn back

It is difficult to find yourself
When the whole world tells you that you are lost
And  simultaneously shouts out directions to confuse you
I am very confused
Are you?

You know you need to change
When you look at every passerby with lust between your eyes
When you crave the skin of a stranger that only ever said "Hello"

The heart contradicts