are you the Lover, the one who will give me a kiss goodnight
the One who lays beside me through a restless night
the One who answers all my questions?

did you see me fall to my knees, in the gutter?

where were you when I asked you
'Why is the sky blue? What happens when
we die?'
'What happens when they die?'

Did you answer...?

I didn't hear your claim to glory
I was lost in all the gore,
and drowned in the story...

I love the way you lied to me
I can't get enough of your *******
But that's not it.

I just have to ask
one more thing

Why did you bring unending suffering, to me?
how come I can't see beyond the veil of grief
and why are we just a part of a whole, and
for the record, why did you never give me
the answer?

lost to independence
lost to familiarity

I've lost so many
to a life that
can
      not
            be

lost to distracting influences
lost to argumentative forces

so many of my friends
have been lost to various causes

I've lost friends to love, and hate
lost friends that I can't find
wandering in a field of starkness
I've lost friends to uneven stakes
and friends that have voluntarily
embraced a hug from the darkness

but,
in the end
even when you feel
I'm not your friend
I'll be there forever
because we have
a
   bond...

I'm the anchor, to your ship
even though you drift
I can hold you, to me
because

*we belong

Hello Death,

I wear your crown
I've always worn it without a frown

We've shared some ****
Gone round for round

I had the rope, in the shed
It was old
"I've changed my mind"
I think I said

Now I wear a frown...

Restless nights leave my breath locked
It pains me to know that you have knocked

because, Death...

I am weak

It's Hell I seek but
I'll no longer wear your crown,
without a frown

I'm not your clown

two small letters just drifting
under the weight of meaning

is this ok?
does this look ok?

is so and so ok?
blah blah blah ok?

so, ok, it's short on verse
lets say, okay
or oakey dokay or
right e o then....

lets not pretend that everything
is right even when we say, hey~
I'm O K...

it's only when I say
or you to me
"are we ok?"
and the reply is
"yeah, I think we are"

that I know the world is right
this night and you're ok
and so am I

:-)

you’ll never feel the bite of pain
that tears the skin from bone
nor the aching loneliness that
scares the heart from home
the absoluteness that leaves a hole
where nothing is able to hide
while driven by the loathing
birthing a life to the love inside
no matter what the circumstance
you can’t negate the absolute horror
of wanting what is begged for
there is no returning the honor
I’ll whip my self unmercifully
until the end of a perfect day
even while you subjugate me
my scars upon myself just say
how much you intended to deny me
all twisted parts upon me are a whole
crisscrossed upon my body are the marks
that give you access to my soul

there are no rules

        love

                           we should not be fools

a place to hide,
a palace of mistakes
all mirrors are broken,
just reflections,
fractured pieces of glass,
not bone,
lying scattered upon the breaks
of waves that lap at scattered artists
thrown, broken upon the shore,
bleached bones of arctic winters
seep coldly into open pores

Thine eyes captured all that you saw

a litany of shattered verse lines a beach
littered with bones of the walking dead
several heads,
bobbing upon the waves
weave casually at the words that are fed
to starving children that lay with their
head on laps of empty maws,
gaping,

instead....

Thine eyes captured all that you saw

all the words uttered in prose,
are fed to starving addicts that consecrate
the earth, fallen from their heavens,
wings severed from bone,
several uttered irreverence, only to be cast
in stone,
only to be remembered by
just a handful
who wished to just walk alone

but...

Thine eyes captured all that you saw

to read,
to devour,
to sup from the chalice
of Life,
to drink in the purity of another
that is casting about in the night,
trying to make a difference,
trying to make a statement
trying to ask for Forgiveness,
trying to make
it right...

Thine eyes captured all that you saw

Here,
where I am nobody
I see what you see,
I saw what you saw,
I try to say the same,
I'm muted by awe

but

*Thine eyes captured all that you saw

your fingertips trace the curve of my cheeks, across my jaw
to my lips, down my throat and along my shoulder, skimming
my ribs until I shudder, crossing hollows, dipping into silken
valleys of skin only to return to my face to discover the rain

who doesn't stick their tongue out
just to taste the color of the rain
who doesn't follow their own dream
to find a lost treasure for them to claim

don't go chasing rainbows
for the colors aren't so bright
at the end of every rainbow
is a black as dark as night

a rainbow only comes after the storm
and in the end it just fades away
how does chasing colors in the sky
become night time ecstasy in the day?

simple melody of color is apparent
in a heart that has beat in triple time
drowning in a cauldron of melting heat
is a glistening *** of gold so fine

don't go chasing rainbows
for the colors aren't so bright
at the end of every rainbow
is a black as dark as night

I am the shimmering colors
of no end you'll find, it seems
in the beginning, I'm all you wished
at the end, you'll find your dream

*don't go chasing rainbows
for the colors aren't so bright
at the end of every rainbow
is a black as dark as night

several times my feet have stopped shuffling
beside a penny, so shiny and round and several times
I've looked down and wanted to pick it up, but I wasn't
ready to stop on the way to my downtown.
I never noticed your frown

several times I've asked myself what I would not give
for your thoughts, or your feelings, or even just to hear
you say, "Have a nice day, don't think too long
about yesterday, it's already made it's play..."

that penny, that I shuffled past, is now my enemy
my nemesis in a world that I'm lost in, a portent
that sways yesterday's grab at life's lessons, a portal
that opens the door to all my transgressions...

if only I had stopped to pick up that penny

yesterday

I'd know what you were thinking today

*but I can't afford to pay

uncurling, a yawn
wandering back from the black
unfurled toward dawn

breeze is dependent
on just a single breath drawn
negating oaths sworn

to lie in darkness
yet not let light become us
dark death leaves us torn

he'll try hard to not
            just to prove
                        he can

did you realize on that night
in July, when the chill breeze
bit into the skin of my broken
feet, that I was standing alone
as you walked down the street
with no backward look, you took
my dignity, my pride, my heart
from my side and left me staring
down at bloodied feet, the ones
that chased you across broken glass
to crimson coat ice blades of grass
the cold, so cathartic to my feet took
a while to reach my soul but I didn't
die of frostbite, that night, but it did
take me a season to thaw out whole

Only the mirror cannot lie to me
unlike you with your words of Love
I’ve tried to be deaf to all your shouts
but I can’t hide from the mirror
that shouts at me, over and over
why do I continue to pick
Olive branches from my hair
and continually step over the bodies
of each and every dove
Even at the birth of each new moon
I’m nowhere near my end destination
the fires that burn are upon wet wood
heaving beneath a false assumption
that it’s warmth it would share
I’m left shivering with cold
beneath a thin blanket of resignation
There was not a lot that I had to offer
but no other could I be
bruising in your brutality
tenderhearted as others would see
given that I was not one for this world
you used me to get further away
from Hell but now
Heavens gates won’t open for me

enough of your foolish folly
return to your oyster shell
re~polish your dull exterior
relive the moment before
being wrenched from your
existence. Be glad. Acknowledge
the close confines of which you dwell
Take nourishment from inside
the cage that keeps you warm
Hardened arms that shelter you
from the storm. A closed mouth
that speaks not of freedom
remaining  tight lipped
leaving you guarded but unwarned
Oh, yea pearl uncultured,
unappreciating of the body
that bred, unyielding
such opalescent perfection
once ripped from the flesh
dull will you wink in indescretion
tied to a string alongside other
conquests. Just a trophy
of your latest obsession

Is mauve, turquoise, burgundy, teal, lavender,
puce, umber, magenta and chartreuse.
It’s a rainbow of color that climbs after the thunderstorms
that is like a badge on a sky that is so blue

It is deserts and rains and mountains and plains
that stretch as far as the eye can comprehend
It is surrounded by ocean and blessed be
the beauty of it just never ends

It’s half a day trip and a drive up the mountain
to walk the forest trail to see the platypus in their habitat
It’s just a short trip on a hot summer day
to lay on a beach and man… In summer, you can’t beat that

At the same time it’s a winter wonderland of snow falls
upon mountains that are majestically steep
It’s a day trip away from the most magnificent site
Ayers Rock lives in mystery of ancestry so deep

Its glow worms at night alighting so bright
inside their domed cave at Natural Arch
It’s the Great Barrier Reef where the natural order of things
continue to grow, a rainbow of coral on the march

It’s sharing the ancestry of all that live on our land
St Patrick’s Day, Chinese New Year, we accept any invitation
We especially are thrilled when the rest of world joins in
with our love of a good horse race, Melbourne Cup…..
The Race That Stops a Nation

What other land has an entire country stand still
for three and a half minutes, which has never seemed so long
Fortunes are won and lost on this great day
Horses come from afar, we say ‘Bring It On’

There are no concrete jungles, just a huge urban sprawl
where everyone can claim paradise as their own
Its kids in the street playing cricket and football
amongst a community with which they have grown

Born from conviction, but raised by honor
it’s the land that just goes to show
that no matter where you may come from
if you put down roots, from our soil, you will grow

Friendships come easy, mateship is a lifetime gift
If you’re in trouble and the odds against you are stacked
Just give a holler, she’ll be right mate
We like a good fight. We’ve got ya back!

7 hours of torrential rain
driving slowly while insane
420 minutes of Country Music
which you know I hate
interspersed with idiosyncratic ads
that make a mockery of others fate
84 cigarettes flow out of the ashtray
one lit by the other as the miles
faded away. The glaring orange tip
as it burnt down to ash and died
is the only reason I lit another
thinking of you and my hope
to keep you alive
for just one more mile.
Please be ok...
Less than 1/3 of a day ago
I picked up my phone only to hear
several tears, and a small hiccup
and heard a heart trying to be brave
and I literally dropped my life
to get into my car, which is now
my home because I breathe the same breath
as the life that is now mine to save
All I said was
I'm coming, now behave
So after 7 hours of listening to
how His and/or Her heart did someone wrong
because I can't change the station
because the radio is broken and, well
I actually do like a heartbreaking song
I'm almost there but thinking of you
my heart lurched and my whole body ******
and the Cops where there, and I'm caught
I would have been there sooner but apparently
it takes longer to write a simple ticket
when they want to be long winded
about the horrors of speeding.
I want to scream at them
Look at my bleeding eyes
Have you seen my ashtray?
Can't you hear the garbage spewing
from my radio? Don't you think
all that adds up to I need to be on my way?
So after 7 hours of torrential rain
overflowing ashtrays and a $540 fine
I'm next to you, in your bed
as we lay under linen sheets and whisper
to each other, about how heartbreaking
Love can be and I'm relived to be here
even as you repeat you are fine
Sleep deprivation and a small stipend
to the Law and Order that protects us
is a small dividend to pay.
And the Country Music still ringing in my ears?
is pure torture but everything
is a small price to pay
when summoned by a friend
in need
All the horrors above
are suffered gladly
You call me, I heed
You cry, I bleed
Your champion in rusty armor?
Indeed!

Whispering chants
and waving fingers
conjuring spirits
of all that lingers
Raising the ghouls
to see the future
Disembodied figures swell
in ghastly caricature
A promise is whispered
The living is lead
to a single untruth
told by the dead

Verily, the moon is bright
Merrily, I rejoice the sight
Scarily, I will re-form
Hairily, I am reborn

In the mist of early morning
when Sun is nigh and night
creatures are yawning, when
an early morning meal is
sought, one small creature
is caught

said the Fly
oh come, yea spinner
of unearthly thread
the weaver of mysteries
floating in my head
that trap me in silken
sheets upon thy bed
come now Spider
do you truly
wish me dead?

said the Spider
nay I do not wish
for you to struggle so
and break the bonds of
my simple weave, I just
wish to make acquaintance
with such a fine and free soul
Tell me what your flighty
life is like and then I'll let
you leave

said the Fly
over upon yonder apple tree
is a world of beauty, and bees,
more exotic than me, lovers of
honey and colorful, stripped
like tigers but with wings
who collect riches with their knees

Spider gasps...

and past yonder fence where
you anchor your web are incredible
birds that sing night songs inside
their gilded cage while their plumage
dulls considerably with age...
So sad they are trapped,
like me

Spider is steadily untangling
the threads of the silken trap
that has cradled the hapless fly
Spider can't stand to cage
so free a spirit that has seen
the depths of the sky, and the ocean
and possibly even the ground
which she knows she'll never see
With a promise from the Fly
they will come back with more tales
of the world beyond her web
she once again goes hungry

Fly never came back
Spider died hungry
when Bird perceived
she was weakened prey

Ten thousand exhalations permeate
every corner of a room that is filled
with only thirteen people
an unlucky number for some

once upon a time the skirt was
looser
once upon a time the fangs were
shorter
once upon a time the prey was
easier
but no one ever gets younger...

I don't want to be Thirteen

I want to be one half of the dozen
that found their dream, and I've
been waiting
a really long time

So our conversation goes
breathy sigh
Would you like a drink?
a frown, what do you think
I like long walks on the beach
I really hate sand, and the heat...
I believe in fate and destiny
a scowl, what's in it for me?
I'm scared of the dark and of
being alone
I'm one half of nothing, do you
have a number I can phone?
I can go one better, I have a place
that I call my own
contemplating true facts such as
we are both on the wrong side of
ever being young again
Well, all the right words have been said,
*Shall we begin?

Sifting through the confetti
of the nightmare that snowed
me in, looking for the remnants
of my armour that melted
from my skin, I barely breath
through lungs that have been
completely singed by sin
Coffee colored caricatures
laugh softly at an empty
attempt to rearrange scattered
memories, untwisting skeletons
that are bent while crushing dreams
into tin can cymbals arguing
against the tunes that have fled
I deny to partake of the feast
today
I think I'll stay abed

Death sits in
the front row
a smug smile
upon his face
He now wields
all the power
He’s comfortable
in this place
Regret is sitting
behind him
lamenting all things
left unsaid
Hurt is sitting right beside
lamenting the fact
you can’t ****
what is already
Dead
Love is shattering
in the middle
Hope gently touches
her shoulder
Fear is staring at her
bowed head
but Afterthought will
Shield her as she
grows older
Anger is radiating as
Fury comes in
a little slow
wondering about a future
as Despair basks
in her glow
Hate is standing
forlornly
just outside the door
now this one
is gone
He is needed
no more

I'm not always so bitter
or angry
or high...
on life (and other things)
I can be sad
sometimes
There is most assuredly
occasions
that the darkness brings...
I'm sad that MacDonalds
don't serve breakfast past 10
I can get down
when I run out of
alcohol (and cigarettes)
at 2am
A tear or two
have slid down my face
when the mouse
that had it's back legs broken
has escaped from it's trap
and I have to give chase
I've been known
to weep
when the hangover
kicks in
Man, it's prevalence
these days, is rife
That pretty much sums up
nearly everything
that makes me sad
All the rest
is just a byproduct
of Life

Jealousy is a curse
but Revenge will
invite Karma
Love will decide
a date
But the Heart will
wear armour
Hate will stand
in the corner
Death will come alone
Evil will turn up late
Fear will turn all
into stone
Empathy may appear
but Pessimism will decline
maybe Optimism will come
if Hindsight is behind
Happiness will drift by
but Sadness
will linger on
Anger will try to
**** the party
even when the last
Emotion is gone

I miss you
We used to have such fun
Was it something I said?
Something I done?
It’s hard to believe
that you made a run…

I’m standing in front
of the open fridge
but it is not Misery
that is piercing my chest
**** useless emotion
would not be so bold
It’s not because I’m hungry
and I welcome the cold

It’s nostalgia that carries me away
as I catch sight of what is sitting
on the back of the shelf
All alone
A can of Harden Up
your favorite drink
but you didn’t know
I used to slip it
into your white wine spritzer
to try and stop your self esteem
sinking
like a stone

But now your gone

Right in the middle of planning
our next dinner date
where we sit and shoot daggers
at each other
through candlelight
as we eye
a great big plate

of

Revenge

But you'll be late
again
and as usual
it will be served cold
again

Why did I ever hope for more?
We were like a complimentary meal
served by the most
lowest of restaurants
Free
Wholly unsatisfactory
more like takeaway
really...

You're not coming back are you?

Obviously you are now finding
your own brand
of fun
I thought we had it all
But I guess I was wrong
and you proved it

You're just a big coward

Run

Baby

*Run

in an empty river
your rocks
barely cause
a ripple

the empty street mirrors
her gaze, while many feet
pass by her in a daze
her flat stomach is just
a simple illusion as she
fools others in her delusion
she kisses the air for the rent
of the back alley she haunts
tucking her curls behind ears
that ignore the taunts
the twenty rolled nicely
for her to breathe freedom
the fifty was a bonus
for three of them
two fifty dollar notes
sit squarely in her gaze
but the gun in her hand
means an end to her days

I held you softly
as you slept
I held you gently
as you wept
I held you tightly
as you screamed
I stroked your hair
as you dreamed
I wiped the tears
that would not dry
I cried the tears
you would not cry
I took the demons
in your head
and made them
Mine instead
I need to be
by your side
don’t turn me away
I am not your Pride
I am not your Pity
I am not your Sorrow
I am here Today
I am your Tomorrow