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Helen Oct 2017
Only I know all our secrets
All those whispers in the night
Only I know if its worth it
To give up, without the fight

Only I know if I'll talk again
Maybe just an incoherent scream
Only I will know for sure
If it really means anything

Only I know if I'll go there
Down a path of nightmare dreams
Only I know if I will wake again
It's not guaranteed, it seems

Only I know if the path I chose
Was the wrong path that was right
Only I know if I'll be sleeping
With the dreams I have at night

Only I know what you told me
When we both cried each other's tears
Only I know with sacred knowledge
All our hopes and fears

Only I know that I was wrong
And sorry doesn't make it right
Only I know how strong you are
How much you hold on, so tight

Only. I. Know
never wanted you to
Only. I. Should
but...
**So. Do. You
This is for you. You, who never gave up, you who never made it up, you who knows only I know...
Helen May 2017
Some days I am happy
Some days I am sad
Some days I just wish
I never had the days I've had
Some days I am crying
Some days I am weak
Some days I am yelling
Some days I am meek
Some days they are pleasant
Some days are truly dark
Some days come so easy
Some days are really hard
Some day I will get over it
Some day I will move on
Some day I will totally get it
Some day I will be strong
Some day it will be over
Some day I will have regret
Some day someone might
love me?
For me
Some day
*but not just yet
I'm thinking, this may be the last days, the very last moments of a once proud soul that's been eaten by the fires of Hell... a nubby snack... How ******* hard is it to post a poem here... Some days it's like trying to put shoes on an angry toddler...
Helen Apr 2017
When all that is left
is feeling hurt
When it's the only song
you have ever learned
when it's the only tune
you have ever heard

Can you let it go?

Someone once said to me
Let it go, let them free
but they come back,
can't you see?

Should I let them go?

When I let them go
They still follow me
I tried to free them
but can't you see?

They came back to me

and I can't let them go

Oh no,
Oh no!

I won't let them go

Oh no

I won't

Let them go, let them go

Oh no...

When I'm the only light
they have ever known
The only place
they ever called home
When I'm the one
they miss the most

**I won't let them go
I miss my Son so much...
Helen Apr 2017
and I was
just standing by
when you just
caught my eye
and as I watched your lips lift
feeling like the ground would shift

you just looked away
taking the sunshine from that day
and now it's dark, I can not see
where'd you go, so far from me?

Because I will
follow you
until the end of truth
you will see me
sitting alone
waiting for you to
come on home


cause you just
walked on by
with a sad smile
that would not lie
tucking your unhappiness
inside yourself
not wanting to share it
with anyone else

don't take that
path for me
I'm right here, can't you see
I'm right there
standing by
You're not alone even when you try

*Because I will follow you
until the end of truth
and you will see me
sitting alone
waiting for you to
come on home
I feel this is a song... I wrote it with music in my head but I don't play an instrument and I can't sing... So it's just a poem really...
Helen Mar 2017
I'm no different from you
I bleed the same red
I cry the same silver tears
That you are able to shed

I applaud you, as a Man
To be able to recognise
That I am able to achieve
any goal that is in your eyes

This is not a day I will celebrate
although it's a day I will acknowledge
It's a day that is insignificant
to women that hold knowledge

We know we had to fight you
Nearly 100 years ago
They were days we were beaten down
But it's not the same, no more

We now have equal rights, equal say
equal pay and equal do
I guess what I want to say to Men
is Thank You

Thank you for your recognition
but we don't need a seperate day
What we truly need in this world
is a harmonious repartee

Like

How are you today?
Why Sir I'm doing fine!
Thank you for the open door.

The pleasure is all mine

Would you like a seat?
No thank you I'm off at the next stop!
Are you in need off assistance?
(without fear I'll drag you off!)


Women just want to feel safe!
Gentleman, if you could just reflect
We don't want a Day of recognition
Just for you to teach your Sons respect
Helen Mar 2017
Months of sweating
vetting every word written
Shivering over all
that remained hidden

Rocking back and forth
Recognising the demons scream
Asking to be fed more
Inside of empty dreams

Then the words, they spill
from cracked and broken lips
bleeding onto tissue paper
inking stains of fatal trips

Then comes the rush
a verbiage of torrential pain
Crouching on a backlit screen
pockmarked with finger stains

The first spike of adrenaline
fizzes inside a broken mind
The churning end to a journey
that has completely left you blind

Collapsing in upon itself
is the high that's found a low
and when the reader is gone
You wonder where you'll go?

Perhaps you'll find a new pusher
Someone else to feed your pain
Someone that will dig that needle
deep
even deeper into the vein
Helen Mar 2017
When everything is wrong
This will be my poem
This will be the burning voice
A ghost, giving me no choice

This will be my poem
This is how I will hold on
This will be my forever after
All the tears inside the laughter

This is how I will hold on
This poem will make me strong
Even though my heart is stone
This is what I call home

This poem will make me strong
No matter how long I hold on
I will stand here as long as it takes
Willing my soul whole even as it breaks

No matter how long I hold on
Time is useless when it's gone
My soul will be shattered
but pieces may be gathered

Time is useless when it's gone
but it echoes in my song
This will be my poem
I'll forever call it Home
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