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Helen Sep 2013
there is no grain of salt
or quote of the day
no kernel of truth
or anything to say
no worthless platitudes
not mentioned in title
or anything in particular
to make anyone smile
There is no meaning
to thoughts a rambling
or reason of being
leaving brains scrambling
don't meant it, don't say it
don't feel it, don't play it
don't kiss goodnight
if the morning light
doesn't include fingertips
tracing skin
followed by moist lips
inviting sin
no apathy against word play
on such a beautiful day
no understanding
just delirious
of a first kiss
Helen Sep 2013
I'm a size 14
European
I don't know what that is
in American
it's not a zero I think..
It's probably a cross between
overly skinny
bordering on chunky
not fit to be seen
in tank top and shorts
but when it's hot, it's hot
I'm not attractive
but cool
but I'm not lean
too many temptations
too many treats
I've never walked a mile
in another's shoes
I've never made it
to the end of the street
because my three children
throughly used me
abused my body
and then abruptly left me
I'm not so undesirous
that their Father turned away
In fact, to him
I'm curvelicious
and I don't even care
if that's a word
or not
I'm a big girl
I'm healthy
I'm loved
by a lot more people
than the anorexic girl
who snarled at me
when she wanted my man
but he was happy to stay
with the body that loved him
night and day
Helen Sep 2013
so many years older than me
first born
tragically...
he had five little sisters
he meant the world to me

I was 12 when he left me

Not really, he didn't leave
He was torn from my arms
in tragedy
There was no mystery
he lost his life to another
a driver, who was persecuted
to live and bear the insanity
of losing a mate
I might forgive, I might hate
but I live a half life without him
My brother ...

He'll never meet my family
My husband who he would never,
ever approved of but would have loved
because they both loved me

He never met his neices and nephews
because he was only 18
when he said goodbye
He never had his own
princes or princesses
he ended his years on earth
I like to think, on a high

But how high do you fly
when life had only just begun?
He had his baby sisters
like chicks in a nest
I often think he regrets
looking down on us
that he wasn't there
to prevent the pain
he witnessed when we found
a boy that hurt us
I like to think he'd be glorious
in his ire to avenge us
I know I'm not the only one

Gone from this earth too soon...

His Mum and Dad fractured
No parent  wants to bury their children
it doesn't seem right
but what kept them going
was their 5 daughters
as each goes on
then into the dark
they know they're not alone
He's there, holding the lantern
shining bright
welcolming them home
One by one
He's our light

I miss him every single
God ****** day!
It's been over  30 years
but what can I say?

Being a girl
that was a princess
to a soul so sweet
I miss him
with every heartbeat
Terrence Charles Gardner... don't know why I'm thinking of you tonight (more than usual) Did you just poke me? I ******* miss you my Brother... ahh man, I'm just not right!
Helen Sep 2013
it can be over faster
than an 8 second rodeo rider
has to tighten his nuts
against the fall

man and woman
woman and man
man and man
woman and woman

it doesn't matter who falls for who
Stupid love
is indiscriminate
It's naked to any and all
Helen Sep 2013
1
Sorry I'm not enough
2
Sorry I'm not tough
3
Sorry I'm not pretty
4
Sorry I have no pity
5
Sorry I can't cry
6
Sorry I can't try
...
274
Sorry we clash
275
Sorry my eye is black
276
Sorry for my smile
277
Sorry for a while
...
423
Sorry I looked up
424
Sorry I looked down
425
Sorry I looked around
426
Sorry I looked at the ground
...
789
Sorry for the heartache
790
Sorry for the pleasure
791
Sorry for the misconception
792
Sorry for the false treasure
...
997
Sorry we connected
998
Sorry we felt at ease
999
Sorry you wasted so many years
1000
Apologies
Helen Sep 2013
your name
will linger on my lips
leaving me insane
Helen Sep 2013
from the moment I'm born
to the day I die
the dash between the dates
on my gravestone
is what is important to me
those reading between the lines
don't cry
for me
for you are the dash
the dotted i and crossed t
beginning to end
are the friendships
that became family
don't see where I started or when I was gone, picture our love for each other and move on...
Be my Dash
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