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Helen Sep 9
Why couldn’t you love me!

That’s your question?

I loved you through everything.
I loved you when you hated yourself
I loved you so much I stopped loving me
I loved you so much I hated me
I loved you through it all.

Then when you loved yourself again?

My question is?

Why couldn’t YOU love ME enough
Through the same thing
Helen Oct 2020
because we never said goodbye
the end was utterly relentless
*sigh*
Helen Oct 2020
From an empty shore where the veil grew thin
Where all life ended and eternity would begin
where love was hate and acceptance was Sin
The world kept turning and I, I would grin

I smiled, I laughed, I cackled with glee
This was us, just you and me
Sitting alone, together, enjoying an absentee
moment of silence in which we couldn’t flee

We told stories that were epics of folk & Lore
Which became legends of old, too hard to ignore
Words bled from the heart, tired and sore
and crying eyes, so broken and raw

But winters ice kept us safe and warm
While mountains watched us as we mourn
we lay at their base so open and torn
waiting for the stinging cold of the dawn

I’ll tell you a secret so full of lies
With a mouth crammed with butterflies
and eyes that seek justice but never tries
to open upon a shrieking soul that cries

While the fire keeps burning
The world keeps turning

I will continue to yearn
for your return
Helen May 2019
We built this city
On the blackened ash
Of white splintered bones
Thrown out like trash
On piles of rubble
Never built to last
Sleeping with one eye open
And one foot in the past
With walls made of glass
And foundations of false hope
We built this city
Hoping for synchronicity
Never realising it was a slippery *****!
(C) Helen Doogan 23.05.2019
Helen Oct 2018
I forgot to tell you
as we sat beside each other
on the floor
in front of a puzzle
I knew was flawed
That we’d never get to finish it
because of the missing piece
It was never going to be whole
but it could be perfectly incomplete
Because I forgot to tell you
there was going to be a gap
A great big hole inside the picture
that would never be closed
because the piece was lost
and it was never coming back
So I left something out
when I asked you to sit down
You thought you going to get a complete masterpiece
instead you got an empty space
and we both looked at it
Me with a meloncholy smile
You with a distant frown
You tried to deny the hurt
of the incomplete picture
all I could do was whisper
I know there is a missing piece
but I’m hoping you know how
to make it complete
Helen Jun 2018
No,
but, Yes
no I didn’t but,
Yes, I did

I died a thousand years ago
alas, my heart did not know it

This heart of mine beat on and on
every breath it took,
with every pitying look,
it tried to sing along

But the notes it sang became discordant
and with every jarring note
I just couldn’t
I could not look, I could not see
what I never wanted to hear
I cannot speak, I will not think
about all that I fear

Did I die?

Yeah... long ago!

It seems like yesterday

Am I dead?

I guess I am

You don’t see me anyway...
Helen Mar 2018
The mind is such an empty place
Where ten thousand people roam
They sing softly in one voice
chanting in the only voice we own

Silently we stare with our eyes closed
whispering into the blackest night
forgetting we were almost there
telling ourselves it’s gonna be alright

Did we never care for ourselves?
When did we stop trying to cry?
While we sit in absolute silence
our soul escapes from our eyes.

The path we took held our redemption
Yet we trampled it beneath our pretension
We pretended it was an easy road
We followed where others showed
It was okay to walk, if you didn’t talk
If you only whispered with your mouth closed
Don’t see, don’t hear, don’t ******* blink
and no one will ever know

How hard it is to breathe underwater
How hard it is to stay afloat
How difficult it is to hold your head up high
While every bone in your body is broke.

When we look into another night
with blind eyes and kaleidoscope sight
We see visions of no one there
Where everyone gasps, but no one cares
and we lay our head upon a pillow of glass
and ask ourself if anyone lasts?

The cuts, they bleed, mixed with the icy river of tears
They wend their way through grooves of time
Carved by age and the incandescence of all our fears
But where they rest, on the face of a mirror
I can only claim them as mine

If only I had known, how the thorns would of grown.
How did they wind around my heart to pierce my eyes?
How did they survive?
Without sunlight, to make me blind?
How did the cancer grow?
I guess I’ll never know.
All I wanted to do was post a poem, it took forever on my phone... Unfuck your **** HP!!!
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