A man sitting at a restaurant has leftover food,
The waitress comes by and asks,
' do you want a box for that?',
The man responds,
'No but I would wrestle you for it'.

An idiotic boy told an angel,
'I love you',
The angel said,
'I do too',
Idiotic boy tells the angel,
'I do three',
The angel says,
'I do four',
Idiotic boy says,
'I do do'....

Silent ensues,
Idiotic boy says,
'****', to break the tension.
The angel looks at him with sullen eyes,
'Shhhhh don't talk', says the angel,
Idiotic boy responds,
'Shhhhhit'....

In a jungle, A frog started fighting with a rabbit because the rabbit was mad the frog didn't stop calling his name.

"LETS FIGHT " the rabbit says,
"Ribbit" , says the frog...

What do you call a cat without nine lives?
Dead.

What do you call a clown with a blue nose?
A clown thats been sleeping with someones wife.

What do you sell to an eskimo?
Definitely not an esky or mo ice.

I've escaped the surly bond of mankind.
No cares, no worries but also no friends.

I once met a suit salesperson on the street. He approached me and said "My hands craft magic, do you want to buy a suit?"

I asked, "how much for it? And size?"

He replied, " one grand. And don't worry it contains magical elements, the size doesn't matter".

I gave him the money and he asks me "you ready?"

I nodded my head to indicate yes.

He handed me a deck of cards and said "you now have a full suit".

Worst one grand I have ever spent ever.