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 Jan 2014 izzat haziq
Liam
Amnesia
 Jan 2014 izzat haziq
Liam
Increasingly distorted memories
   slowly succumbing to darkness
Some fallen, some forced into
   the oubliette of my subconscious

Figures of the past linger tentatively
   before receding into shadow
Familiar strangers they do seem
   as if merely remnants of dreams

The looking glass of childhood friends
   mirrors an unrecognizable effigy
An idealized reflection of a former self
   unflinching in its accusatory glare

Whispers persist from imprisoned depths
   for I am silently being recalled to life
Somehow I've forgotten how to be
   the only person I've ever wanted to be

Somehow I've forgotten how to be me
 Jan 2014 izzat haziq
Liam
Tarot toting tinker
    let's have another round
my future's in the balance
    lay yet another down

Never had much luck at cards
   even less so at l'amour
give a wandering fool direction
   high priestess, I kneel before

Your caravan will travel on
   as I seek the royal road
my chariot is torn asunder
   pray deal me a lighter load
Leave me please leave me be
I can't handle it as you can see
The ache just won't simply stop
Stop giving me all the false hope
For I have drowned in your lies
And laid tears all over my eyes
Stop pulling me back in fantasy
Just leave me be inside the reality
Leave me with my broken heart
Leave me to fix all the broken parts
Leave me and don't try to call
Leave me and my restless soul
I'm tired of all the countless pain
I want the sun not the heavy rain
I realized now that I made a mistake
The choice I made left me in heartbreak
I realized now that there's nothing to hold
I'm just gonna leave and start moving on
Its hard but sometimes we gotta do it
He walked through the storm
He walked by the burning sun
He walked across through it all
Just to be with his beloved one
Though the journey is very long
The obstacles that he would face
Legends that sang in the old song
About men who had fall from grace
Trying to surpass the obstacles
Died in the hands of a mighty beast
The danger was at his own hands
He buried his fear and walked on
Cause he's face the dangers alone
In his heart courage started to spark
Within him he now has a lionheart
Stare away into a vacuum. There's always something entertaining happening in that
vacuum and it needs your undivided attention.
2. Master a blank expression especially when staring into the vacuum or directly at
anyone.
3. Never laugh or smile in social gatherings or ever.
4. Be a miser with your words, use one-word responses and add a few grunts and
guttural sounds to your vocabulary.
5. Believe every male is a ******.
6. Never show emotions, especially obvious ones like happiness, surprise, or sadness.
These may serve as conversation starters and you don't want that.
7. Don't necessarily avoid all eye contact. If the person is obviously determined to
make contact with your pupils, give it to them. Stare them down and continue to
stare. If they say something, don't respond just keep staring.
8. Crushing on someone? Don't even bother. They don't want you.
9. Fine, you can't help your crush, these eyes you must definitely avoid.
10. Use up all your tech gadgets, phones, iPods, even a **** calculator can help,
after all the measly remains of your bank account isn't going to check itself.
Anything with words u can pretend to read is also helpful, even your last grocery
receipt that you just randomly found in your purse.
11. "I don't know" is a very good answer for almost every question you're asked.
To make it seem less harsh (if you even care) you can substitute for "not sure"
12. Always pretend to listen, nods and grunts are helpful for this.
13. The less you move your body or your face the better, they're all watching you,
judging you, trying to study you remember that.
14. Paranoia is your friend.
15. Refuse all food or drinks. Do not let them see you eat.
is it worth it?
falling apart
and blaming
myself? I mean
I'm the one
who has mental
issues, I shouldnt
take to heart
when no one
wants me.
except the dark

I know I get judged
for the way I wear
my eyeliner
I look "goth"
sometimes
but I only do it
as a secret promise
to myself that
i am not permitted
to cry that day
because it would
smudge.
name call all you want
but I'm the one who's
forcing myself not to
cry
 Jan 2014 izzat haziq
cursed
You
 Jan 2014 izzat haziq
cursed
You
Tell the person you love how you love the moving moon in a car ride
Insist on telling that the Sun is glaring at you too much
Make them listen how important drinking a cup of tea in the morning is
Emblaze the world with your charm  
Let the things you kept to yourself be free
Embody to them that you can be fun, but
At the same time be as sensitive you could
Vexed them with your hidden side
Insert charming words and leave an impact to them
Next thing you know, they will never find a person like you
Get them work up with your hidden self
Unveil them the real you and tell them
Stereotypes are not fun.
(n.a)

I don't know if this is good but hey welcome back to myself!!
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