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 Aug 2018 Hashim ZK
emnabee
The poet lives two lives.
One on the outside,
And one in their mind.

When you look in their eyes
You could see an abyss.

If you looked long enough
You could sink into it.

But most people don’t see it.

Take the time to read the words, though,
And you would know for sure.

The poet lives in two different worlds.
A little escape from the madness.
Or maybe, into.
Not the attraction a boy of ten
has for his peers
he was not even among
the intimate friends
yet a kind of lust I felt
when he was around
a flutter and denser breath
and in his absence
paling of all else.

That early seeding
was a hushed gust
blowing awhile in the ravine of
deep south.

Pretty girls emerged from the dust
and the first man in me
grew out of first love.
 Aug 2018 Hashim ZK
Benjamin
I was six, then—
six or seven—
on a swing set in
September, and
I’m beginning to
remember
how alone I was
that day:

the clouds were dull
eraser shavings,
the wind a hollow
“Hallelujah.”
I pumped my legs, and
at the apex,
I gained an angel-eye
perspective:

the jaws of autumn
clenched their teeth in-
to my sternum,
popped a hole and
stole the summer from
my bloodline,
left a chill inside
my soul;

I’m taking all of this
for granted.
I spell disaster
with my left hand,
I sign “Messiah” with
my right;

and in the arrogance of
twenties, I think
the loneliness has left me,
I think we all don’t
grow up empty,
I think the future
could be bright.
 Aug 2018 Hashim ZK
Benjamin
Gracious god, I Am
handcuffed to the bed
(white wine and
cigarettes)—
I will not forgive regrets.

This hornet’s nest, a home—
I choke on church bells,
starved of faith—
an empty sternum, bellyache.

Among the living dead,
I speak the language:
“Let me in!”
But I cannot betray my sin.
 Aug 2018 Hashim ZK
Starlight
Being that drifts
with no ripple
in the movements
of time

there is no
substance
to this figure
that walks through
the lonely mists

it was born
to be
a traveller
of its own
soul

it was born
to walk
on
whispers of
memories
never quite there

its heart is
like boulders
heavy and
cracked
never bending
bruising
or breaking
the ends shaking
it is shaking

walk on.
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