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266 · Jul 2017
who am i
harlee kae Jul 2017
i pull on my lip
because i want to look hot.
and lips are hot, right?
i cry more over a character in a book
than a character in my life.
somedays everything seems beautiful.
somedays nothing does.
and
i act like i don't care about a thing.
because being uninterested
makes me interesting,
right?
265 · Oct 2017
to m.m.,
harlee kae Oct 2017
same ****
new day
******* choose
to leave or stay
stop playing
with a fragile heart
that shouldn't have been
yours from the start
and if you knew
how to love at all
you'd know it's complicated
when you fall
just know, you shine brighter
then the darkness
the world will throw your way
263 · May 2019
"be our art teacher"
harlee kae May 2019
okay, draw me your favorite moment..

my favorite moment is when i met you
before i met you i always got in trouble
after you i was better
after you my life started to change
now i can read and write better

ms. schulz.. are you about to cry

yes. probably.
my sweet val, can i adopt you?
263 · Mar 2018
how's it going?
harlee kae Mar 2018
we treat this like an acknowledgement
more than an actual question
i mean no one answers it honestly
because we're afraid of a therapy session
but we'll post what we're eating for breakfast
hoping to get a reaction
because we'd rather talk through a screen
than have actual human interaction
just some thoughts
263 · May 2018
i don't know you anymore,
harlee kae May 2018
yeah, it's been years
since we last talked.

i cant say
the way you like your coffee,
what your favorite movie is,
or your thoughts as you close your eyes.

but ever so often
i'll hear a song
and i'll remember the way
your braid glistened in the sunlight
and the passion in your eyes.

no one conveys more purpose
in a single glance
than you.
and somehow, i doubt
that has changed.
262 · Dec 2018
today was exhausting
harlee kae Dec 2018
the sun is shining
while the rain cascades
down my windshield.
and i'm thinking
maybe
the sky is as confused
as me.
261 · Jun 2014
sometimes
harlee kae Jun 2014
sometimes when i cry i feel like im gonna drowned in my tears
and sometimes when i cry i wish i would
sometimes i tell myself that you love me because im tired of feeling alone
256 · Feb 2019
broken
harlee kae Feb 2019
this is a new kind of broken
and being alone is so scary
but how can i be trusted
if i cant be alone
i need validation
i need someone to look at me
to say to me
you'll be okay
you'll be okay
256 · May 2019
summer's here
harlee kae May 2019
and it's definitely bittersweet
254 · Dec 2018
12/20
harlee kae Dec 2018
i feel like my world is falling apart
and i wish you were here
to help me pick up the pieces
252 · Apr 2019
dilemma
harlee kae Apr 2019
not being able to eat dinner
before i weigh myself

(that way i know if i'm allowed)
249 · Jun 2014
Do I
harlee kae Jun 2014
Do I have a sign on my back that says cheat on me because I'll forgive you?
249 · Apr 2019
"unicorns arent real"
harlee kae Apr 2019
we believe this
because its what we're told
because magic like that can't be true

but maybe they are real
or maybe that isn't the point

maybe believing in yourself,
believing in your dreams,
feels like believing in a fictitious creature

imagine how excited you'd be
(how excited the world would be)
to discover that unicorns exist

have the same excitement towards yourself
let yourself be seen
and not just the best parts

let your messy parts show
let yourself be loved
for who you really are

maybe that
is magic in itself
248 · May 2019
silence
harlee kae May 2019
is so loud

just turn on some tunes

and jam
244 · Jun 2018
a day
harlee kae Jun 2018
where the thoughts
make the body feel out of control
and i know i'm self sabotaging
but i don't stop
the self hate
or to look in the mirror
because i know what i see
is a disappointment

and i'm already ******
so i might as well continue
down the vortex of troubling thoughts
onto the dark path of no coming back
at least not tonight

so i might as well continue
eating my feelings and cursing the sky
because i'll never be who i want to be

i might as well continue

..or not
243 · May 2018
me.
harlee kae May 2018
me.
i hate what i look like
in everything i wear

i hate the way i look
with this newly chopped off hair

i hate that i work out so hard
but still have fat right there

i hate that i compare myself
so harshly with what i see
and make others feel bad
just to be near me

i don't mean to punish you
when i feel like you're succeeding
i just wish you could notice
that i'm sitting here and bleeding
242 · Jan 2018
No one understands.
harlee kae Jan 2018
And why would they,
I suppose,
when half the conversations I have
are with myself.
I just thought New Year
meant clean slate.
And if I tried a little love
it would come right back.
But maybe I don’t know
what love is anymore,
because I never seem to show it
without someone getting angry.
And no matter how I try
it never comes back around.
241 · Jun 2018
just another situation
harlee kae Jun 2018
in which
i wasn't
enough

and i'll never
find out
why
harlee kae Nov 2017
sometimes a memory
will envelop me
a memory
i forgot existed

like laying on a beanbag
as you stroked the hairs
that escaped my braid
while monsters inc played
in the background

and as the world
passes outside the window
my heart recalls that feeling
that feeling of falling in love
harlee kae May 2019
the kids still need their love
the dogs, they have to be fed
no matter how you are feeling
when you first crawl out of bed

you're doing the best that you can
no matter how small that might feel
sometimes accomplishing another day
is really quite a big deal

in the happy and the hard days
life just keeps on going
and even if it's slowly
i think we're always growing

so be gentle with yourself
we're all a little weird
but that's what makes you beautiful
it's nothing to be feared
happy mental health month.
235 · Mar 2019
broken world
harlee kae Mar 2019
look in the mirror
what do you see?
ugly
liar
cheater
..or is that only me

look in the mirror
maybe there's more
then this perfect person
you've been striving for
231 · Jun 2017
skin deep
harlee kae Jun 2017
i said* i wish i was like the other girls
skinnier, prettier, cooler.

and you didn't even have it in you
to disagree.
230 · Feb 2018
tired
harlee kae Feb 2018
of not being able to make a decision
because i'm scared that whatever i choose
i will be wrong

of not be able to speak my mind
because you say my opinions
are inaccurate/loud/stupid

of trying so hard to care for others
because i need someone to say
that i matter

i'm tired

of finally making a decision
then being ridiculed for it

of saying what's on my mind
and being told i'm too angry
(or choosing to stay quiet
and being told i'm too sensitive)

of cooking and cleaning and chauffeuring
and never being told thank you

i'm just so tired
of living a life
that feels
unfulfilled
229 · May 2018
inanimate object
harlee kae May 2018
a tree is much more
than a little seed pushed in the earth.
it is a towering ballerina,
stretching it's branches out like arms,
to graze the passers by.
it is a singer,
wailing out sweet melodies,
as the wind rushes around.
it is a laborer,
handing out fruit,
and asking for nothing in return.

a tree graciously gives you its bark
to cut up and scar,
just so you can have that memory,
even if you never come back to visit.
12.6.12
229 · Jan 2018
Is it normal?
harlee kae Jan 2018
To wake up
feeling isolated.
To drive to a job
I was supposed to love
with dread weighing deep
in my stomach.
To be surrounded
by people, by voices
all day, and count down the minutes
until I get home
to an empty house
to feel less alone.
229 · Mar 2018
falling in & out
harlee kae Mar 2018
long drives and
my thoughts drift to you
remembering times
when i would sing out loud
because you didn't make fun of my voice
remembering times
when i didn't use windshield wipers
because you made me
feel invincible
227 · Sep 2019
6 am on a school day
harlee kae Sep 2019
i stare up
stretch my arms above my head
try to breathe the stars
into my lungs
as they surround me with their vastness
and make me feel so alive
yet so alone

but i think i saw one shooting
and maybe that's a sign
that they shine, not in spite,
but for me
226 · Jan 2018
Undignified.
harlee kae Jan 2018
what kind of person am I
to be 23 and missing high school?
it makes me incredibly lame
and truthfully pathetic,
but I’ve never been the type
to make friends just by living.

and in high school I found soccer,
and by extension,
people I genuinely loved.

I have never felt so connected;
to people, to a passion, to the idea
that I am good enough.
and it saddens me to know
four years was all I got
to feel alive and free.
225 · Dec 2017
frozen,
harlee kae Dec 2017
like the movie,
it makes me think of you.
and the day that he came back,
as people sometimes do.

and often i so think
thats what started our descend,
because you moved away,
and you made a new best friend.

other days i realize
that the ending was on me,
because loving a girl was something
i didnt do publicly.
224 · Aug 2018
exhausted and failing
harlee kae Aug 2018
we hold our dreams so tightly
tuck them against our flesh
until the two become one
and give only a glance
to only a few
because in this world
failure is a lot more plausible
then success

but sometimes dreams come true
and they aren't what you expect
because in your head things are perfect
and pristine and peaceful
but reality is messy
and dreams are only dreams
until they happen
222 · May 2019
celestial and luna
harlee kae May 2019
another week
come and gone
and maybe
i scream too much
and maybe
i don't do as good as i could

but for the first time
val let me keep her drawings
because shes going to miss me this summer

the ponies of moon and sun
made me think of us

and sky said
i'll love you forever
ive never had a better teacher

and maybe they're 7
and maybe they'll forget me
in a year or two

but for now
they're my world
and i'm theirs
and for now
that's enough
222 · Jul 2017
details
harlee kae Jul 2017
everyone is so focused
on the big picture
that they forget
the most important part of life
is in the details

the little things
that make a person
who they are

coffee or tea
sunsets or sunrises
roses or wildflowers
beaches or mountains

find beauty
in the smallest parts
of someone
because they're
the most important
221 · Mar 2015
Untitled
harlee kae Mar 2015
and no matter how long it's been
your smile lights me up
cant help it
220 · Apr 2018
so easily lonesome
harlee kae Apr 2018
i miss you tonight.
and maybe i should always miss you.
but it's easier for me to miss
when i'm sitting alone with my thoughts, wishing there was someone beside me.
in those moments
i'm wishing for you.
220 · Apr 2014
..
harlee kae Apr 2014
..
I used to write in only rhymes
Now I don't remember how.
219 · Mar 2019
4:42 am
harlee kae Mar 2019
i woke up to pack
but now it doesnt feel right
because i cant talk to you
and its the middle of the night

i know you made your choice
and i know i made mine
and i have to believe
this will all turn out fine

but things seem more hazy
or maybe more clear
when its 4:42
and you cant be here
219 · Jul 2017
3/2/15
harlee kae Jul 2017
gosh my hair is one big knot
my eyes are blurred at the edges
i can't think straight
(that's a movie about lesbians by the way)
i want him
and i know you'd be disappointed in me
but he made my hair one big knot
he knows why my eyes are blurred
his lips are what boggle my mind
and you don't know any of this
you aren't allowed to be disappointed

when you don't know me anymore
219 · Sep 2017
always
harlee kae Sep 2017
one
of
those
lonely
nights
harlee kae Oct 2018
it's been raining a lot
i think it changes my mood
or maybe that's the new season
or maybe it's just me
but
sometimes i feel like
i'm living without living
would it really, truly matter
if i quit everything

it's just
sometimes i have this lonely feeling
sitting on my chest
and it empties me out
and it won't go away
217 · Aug 2019
first year blues
harlee kae Aug 2019
august, again.
and i'm in a different bed
and a different house
but the same tears fall
as they did a year ago.

and last year they were from
the stress and frustration
of the kids who felt it their life mission
to ignore every word from my lips

this year
from the absence of such.

because best friends with pigtails and converse
just don't come around that often.
216 · Apr 2019
asking for a friend
harlee kae Apr 2019
do/did you take medication
for your mental health?

what was your experience?
i'm just trying to make it all make sense
215 · Mar 2019
rainbow connection
harlee kae Mar 2019
i saw a glimmer of a rainbow
just a streak
enough to get me excited
you see
i've been teaching about rainbows
i asked my sister
do you know how a rainbow is formed

she danced around
said i dont care
and what was i to do but smile

and i know it seems so simple
the conversation
and it was i suppose
nothing she will remember in the least

but it hit me
that deep pain in my chest
that feeling
of wanting to rant about rainbows
to someone who would listen
215 · Jul 2018
united
harlee kae Jul 2018
we are all
chaotic
beautiful
messes.
and isn't that kind of nice.
harlee kae Jul 2019
when the choices you make are hurting
both you and someone you love
and your feelings feel like a burden
how do you know what's right?
when you feel like your thoughts should be said
and you feel like they need to be heard
but there's so much **** in your head

when you want everyone to be happy
but you don't know what that means
and you dont know which path is right
or which one follows your dreams
214 · Jun 2014
Untitled
harlee kae Jun 2014
some of my worst
memories
only happened
in my head.
214 · Oct 2014
Untitled
harlee kae Oct 2014
the world is a dark place
and its getting harder to hang on
but if you do
i will
i promise
213 · Apr 2019
at least the moon is nice
harlee kae Apr 2019
another day

bad guy again

try for kindness

drown in sin
so don't be proud of me
212 · Dec 2018
i hope you hear this
harlee kae Dec 2018
you're the same
kind of different
as me
which is nice
but exhausting
because i cling to you
as if you're the last ember
in a fire that long ago faded
i'm just so cold
and i can't find the flame
in myself anymore
209 · Nov 2019
unfinished
harlee kae Nov 2019
this chest is like a vault
and i threw away the key
so you never really get to know
this misunderstood me

i'd rather keep who i am buried
all my real thoughts deep inside
then give you time to hate it
i guess i got too much pride

but it's scary
cause this vault has cracks
so sometimes i start to show
and the person that you get to see
isn't someone you want to know
harlee kae May 2020
hoping
the night air
against my skin
will remind me
i can still feel
something
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