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357 · Mar 2015
to my ex girl's new girl
harlee kae Mar 2015
you know i'm not mad at you right?
okay, i admit, in the beginning i was.
but not anymore.
it's just, i can't look at you knowing
that you hold everything i've loved in your hands. it just hurts.
i've always hated change.
and i guess i never learned
how to let go.
so until then i'm sorry
but i'll keep looking at the ground.
356 · Nov 2017
thank you
harlee kae Nov 2017
my partner
my lover
my friend

for making this heavy heart
light
348 · Jun 2019
its all ahead
harlee kae Jun 2019
the little girl
licks her ice cream cone
as chocolate drips down her chin

someday she could be president
or a doctor
teacher
engineer
someday she might get her heart broken
or buy a car
or dye her hair
a crazy color

but today
she sits by her dad
slurping ice cream
and her world is both
infinitely small
and limitless
347 · Dec 2014
split
harlee kae Dec 2014
i still think of you
all the time.
but i think of him
now too.
and in my brain i'd have to say
you're the darkness
and he's the light.
though the choice may seem obvious,
i can't be with him too long
without wanting a little mystery..
345 · Jul 2019
NM
harlee kae Jul 2019
NM
look up
they're limitless
so small i am
meaningless
but they give me
significance

close my eyes. breathe.
they're a part of me
i can almost feel them now

rattle them down
i will
somehow
343 · Aug 2017
new day new me
harlee kae Aug 2017
breathing deeply
made it through
the best part is
that i have you
342 · Mar 2019
and i am worst of all
harlee kae Mar 2019
wanted it both ways
but i couldn't have that
and now i have neither
yeah i fell flat

my heart is so fickle
and yours so steady
i was trying my hardest
but i just wasn't ready

now it doesn't matter
it's come to an end
i wish i didn't have to
lose a best friend

that's part of the deal
i know that it's true
but i don't really know
what i'm supposed to do
340 · Jul 2017
guz
harlee kae Jul 2017
guz
every day was gray
and cloudy
so i always felt down
because i thought
the sky was a reflection
of myself

then you came into my life
and suddenly i realized
there was sun
338 · Oct 2014
right there
harlee kae Oct 2014
laying in the tub
thinking of you
and alright i admit
a boy or two
but always you to get me going
you boil my blood without even knowing
but i'm doing okay
i really am
its strange but actually true
because i want you to be happy
so i knew
this is what i had to do
i miss your voice
i miss your smile
i just miss you a whole lot
but you dont need me
youre better off without me
even if im not
337 · Feb 2014
Ughhhh
harlee kae Feb 2014
The monster inside my head makes me think such vicious thoughts
But the thing is, I kind ot agree with it.
More than kind of.
My insides are boiling.
The anger and hate are literally eating me alive.
I can't stand it.
Can we not get through one day,
One day without  me feeling this way.
The monster is telling me you don't care
About me in the least.
I agree.
But then again the monster *is me.
333 · May 2019
my work here is done
harlee kae May 2019
today we read a book
about a very naughty puppy

in the end
his humans told him they loved him
no matter what mistakes he made

one of my kids looked up and said
hey, that's how you feel about us
332 · May 2019
dance baby
harlee kae May 2019
cleaning the living room
dancing around
distracting myself
not wearing a frown
this week will be good
this week will be great
trying positivity
almost can't wait
cuddling with cleo helps
325 · May 2019
saw a single star
harlee kae May 2019
as i drove to work today
and i wondered if it felt lonely
or accomplished
to be the last one standing
325 · Apr 2014
4/10/14
harlee kae Apr 2014
Like the dirt under your feet
I'm trampled on
I'm crushed
I'm insignificant
And at the end of the day you wash me off
Like a bad memory
322 · Mar 2018
concert vibes
harlee kae Mar 2018
sometimes i wonder if you love me
sometimes i wonder if i deserve it

i wonder
what it would be like
to look in the mirror
and like what i see

i wonder
what it would be like
to not feel anxious
when i enter a room

i wonder
what it would be like
to feel good in an outfit
to feel good in a picture

sometimes i wonder
what it would be like
not to wonder
322 · Jul 2014
what do you want me to say?
harlee kae Jul 2014
that each second that passes is a second closer to my death
and i couldnt be more grateful.
320 · Aug 2017
one of those days..
harlee kae Aug 2017
where i'm trapped inside myself
and i don't want to talk
or even be around anyone
because it feels like the world is moving
but i'm not a part of it.

where i'm tired of laying in bed
but i don't feel like going out
so i make lists
to pretend that i know
exactly what to do with my life.

where my brain reminds me
you'll never be normal.
320 · May 2019
one week left
harlee kae May 2019
i know i'm gonna cry
gonna hug a lil too tightly
as i watch them
say goodbye

exhausting and exciting
and intense and crazy too
summer's coming quickly
and i don't what i'll do
harlee kae Jun 2014
I want to make love to you while the rain beats against the window and our breath fogs up the glass.
I want to hold your hand while I drive around aimlessly and sing at the top of my lungs.
I want to buy you random **** even though it makes you mad, but I love spending money on you.
I want to look at you and know that you are mine.
I don't want to make halfhearted conversation with a painted on smile.
I don't want to be your friend.
319 · Aug 2017
hike
harlee kae Aug 2017
12 miles total
5 miles up
it starts pouring
i slip in muck
slice my hand
it starts to bleed
the throbbing pain
just what i need
to remind me
i have more to give
despite the downs
still life to live
316 · Jan 2015
oh you
harlee kae Jan 2015
maybe what they say isnt true
because it took awhile to have feeling for you
instantaneous falling sure wasnt the way
you kept hanging around and now i want you to stay
that other kind of love is in the past
and i'm hoping this one will actually last
316 · Dec 2014
srry
harlee kae Dec 2014
please dont like me too much
i will tear you apart
please dont like me too much
this was over from the start
please dont like me too much
as if im some sort of art
we were never going to make it
when another has my heart
315 · May 2014
Title
harlee kae May 2014
I fell in love
with the sadness in your eyes.
You broke my heart
with the cruelness in your lies.
I was always one for saving,
and you needed to be saved.
But now I'm not sure that it's me
or attention that you craved.
I feel us breaking apart
day after day,
And i don't know if to fight
or to let you slip away.
314 · Mar 2015
dont hurt her
harlee kae Mar 2015
thats all im told
but when it was me
you didnt give a ****
314 · Mar 2019
the moon is so bright
harlee kae Mar 2019
i think it must be full
i guess we have that in common
312 · Feb 2015
feb. 22
harlee kae Feb 2015
Although i have another
who says "i love you baby,"
sometimes when i say it back
i think to myself... maybe.

Because if you ever look at me
and i get to look at you
sometimes i think to myself,
man, i love her too.
312 · May 2019
my heart, it breaks
harlee kae May 2019
she left just now
my precious val

i cried
her mom cried too
told me thanks for all i do

it makes it worth it
all the fights
all her screaming
the hard nights

to know they saw
all i tried to give
to know i mattered
to just one kid
312 · Jan 2018
Untitled
harlee kae Jan 2018
I don’t know why I need people so much
when I love being on my own
310 · Aug 2014
Q & A
harlee kae Aug 2014
Alright readers, from near
And from far
I have a question to ask
How do you know who you are?
I once thought i was straight as could be
Until a girl stole my heart and made me see
Maybe the life i'd been living was fake
Maybe that boy was one big mistake
But then my love went and shattered my heart
And my newfound knowledge was broken apart
After that i thought it was girls i would seek
But i was feeling so lonely, desperate, and meek
And a nice boy came by and he took my hand
He said i was cute, and lets start a band
I felt kind of awkward kissing his face
My brain is confused as i'm back to that place
I know it's hard to give advice
But if you've read this far please think twice
About who i should be and what i should do
Because my head or my heart dont have a clue
308 · Feb 2018
like this
harlee kae Feb 2018
all the things
i hate about myself
were magnified
and multiplied
when i whispered
i'm sorry.. i'm sorry
and you replied with
its not your fault you're like this
instead of
it's okay
307 · Jul 2017
daydream land
harlee kae Jul 2017
you ask me if
you should go to florida
i swallow my pride
and say no
i beg you to stay with me
promise to take you
to the beach myself
someday

i turn my cowardice
into courage
and believe in us
more than i believe
in the world's opinions  
of us
306 · Aug 2017
unresolved issues
harlee kae Aug 2017
went to an old friend's wedding.
turned to watch her walk the aisle,
and there you were.
a half second glimpse
then i looked to the ground.
i chewed my nails
to the point of bleeding.
and drank my coffee black.
and kept looking at the ground.
because i feel
completely inadequate
when i see your new girl.
and you with someone else
still kills me.
and i cried the whole way home
thinking about the fact
that i'll never
hug you again.
299 · Sep 2016
work,cleo,school,you
harlee kae Sep 2016
and i'm overwhelmed again
i'm in that place again
just need to see your face again
i'm tired
i'm breaking
i'm shutting down
and its only been a day
but its like a week or two
and i don't know what to do
or who i am when i'm not with you
just don't get tired of me too
i've been crying a lot
i mean i'm really stressed
i'd understand if you couldn't take it
but please my love lets make it
i can't take more disappointment
all i need is your arms
right now
and maybe i'll be okay
299 · Apr 2014
When I Have a Daughter
harlee kae Apr 2014
I will sit her down and tell her
don't give yourself to the first person
that tells you, you're beautiful.

Because someone else will come along
and tell you that you're beautiful
and they will mean it.
295 · Dec 2014
Untitled
harlee kae Dec 2014
i layed there
with your arms around me
listening to the tick tick tick
of your watch
and i thought to myself
this is much more comforting
than a heartbeat
because i'll know exactly
when it stops
293 · Oct 2017
picnic
harlee kae Oct 2017
scrolling through my feed
when a picture makes me
stop
zoom
stare
yep, i was right
she just posted a picture
with her body splayed across
THE picnic table
the very picnic table
where the first person i loved
ended
everything

i waited
for the anger
or sadness
to drown me
like it has before

but it didn't.

i felt okay
that art could be made
in a place where i sat
and uncontrollably sobbed

it felt nice
that there was beauty
to be found
at a picnic table
where i once only saw
heartache
291 · Aug 2020
MAYBE
harlee kae Aug 2020
maybe love isn’t passion
and flaming fires
and stolen glances

maybe it’s choosing you daily
and giving unlimited
chances

maybe it’s early brunches
and evening dog walks

rather than secret car meetings
and drunken late talks

maybe love is 9 mile hikes
when it starts to rain

and maybe it’s not messages
that cause everyone pain

maybe it’s me and you
maybe it’s you and me
maybe the love we have
is how it’s meant to be

maybe
291 · Oct 2019
life
harlee kae Oct 2019
does it ever get better?
291 · Oct 2017
walmart
harlee kae Oct 2017
I see you almost daily
in long braided ponytails
and sarcastic smirks
on stranger's faces in a foreign town.

But where it makes sense
I wasn't expecting you.
So I turn
and my heart drops to my stomach
and it's thundering so loud
I feel like my skin will vibrate
off of my body.

And your cousins are there
so grown and beautiful.
I think of the times
we did puzzles
or played soccer in the yard.

No one glances my way
and it's funny
how a second
can feel like an eternity.
And it's funny
how you were my sun
while I'm just a desolate planet.
288 · Aug 2017
coleman
harlee kae Aug 2017
every one i've ever kissed,
right here in this park.
two were in midday.
two were after dark.
my first kiss to a boy,
he turned out to be shady.
my second was my first love
a beautiful, smart lady.
the third was to my best friend,
even though he has a wife.
the last was to my current boy
the one I'll have for life.
every time I run here
I get memories, good and bad.
one specific memory
contains the best kiss that I've had.
286 · Oct 2014
redue
harlee kae Oct 2014
i think i would give anything
to redue our relationship.
even if it ended the same horrible way.
just to get to feel what its like when you loved me.
284 · Sep 2014
life is funny
harlee kae Sep 2014
because my biggest hope
and my biggest fear
is that you'll come back.
283 · Mar 2014
now
harlee kae Mar 2014
now
in the middle of the night i'm always alone -
so desperately alone.
there's no one here to catch my tears,
or stop the swirling vortex in my head
from draining me of any happy thoughts.
i feel Guilt
Anger
Sadness
Shame
Regret
but mostly i feel Alone.
i can take the shame and the guilt.
i try to handle the sadness and regret.
even anger can be pushed away.
but the loneliness never fades.
if it were a moth, i'd be a flame.
burning me alive
until there's nothing left..
281 · Jul 2017
NM
harlee kae Jul 2017
NM
running towards the mountains
that i know i'll never reach
my lungs are on fire,
and i'm fine with that.
the water rushes by,
the trees engulf me,
and the wildflowers bloom
to remind me that
beauty doesn't need to be
tamed.
for i am merely a speck
on this great, expansive world
and i feel so very free
in my insignificance.
279 · May 2018
growth
harlee kae May 2018
this isn't a poem
not really
just me stating, i'm proud
proud of myself

i found an old journal
and after just a few pages
i realized
i've grown a lot
mentally and emotionally

and that's something to celebrate
even if only with a handful of strangers
278 · Sep 2019
in my head
harlee kae Sep 2019
i'm laying down
on the floor
on my back
in a never ending room

i'm the only one there
and it's spinning
or the world's spinning
or i'm spinning

and it's black
and i can't escape.
278 · Mar 2017
...tired
harlee kae Mar 2017
i'm getting tired again
i'm wearing down
things are starting to look bleak
like they used to
i thought it was over
i thought i was done
how do i fix this
myself
275 · Aug 2015
Untitled
harlee kae Aug 2015
i could spend hours
thinking of your hair.

somedays, i do.
272 · May 2014
everything would be perfect
harlee kae May 2014
what i
wouldnt give
to have a
time machine.
id go back and
fix
**everything.
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