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Aug 2014 · 13.0k
Fundamentals of Math
harlee kae Aug 2014
I caught myself
daydreaming
of you
again.
Your lips
burning holes
in my throat.
"Is this okay?"
Yes.
It is.
I shake my head
Once,
Twice,
to get you out.
math
focus on math
But ******,
you're better
than math.
Aug 2014 · 949
Missing You
harlee kae Aug 2014
Missing you is the hardest thing
I've ever had to do
And I'm so tired of pretending I'm okay when I'll never be okay again
Aug 2014 · 1.0k
More upbeat then it looks
harlee kae Aug 2014
And we're fading
Fading
Fading
And i don't know what to do
I havent got a ******* clue
But i know it was bound to happen

And its crazy
Crazy
Crazy
I thought we were meant to be
I guess you weren't the one for me
Now i know that we'll never happen

But thats alright
I'm okay
I'm gonna make it through
Today's a brighter day

And i'm alright
And you're okay
I'm almost over you
Tomorrow's a brighter day
Aug 2014 · 221
Untitled
harlee kae Aug 2014
I held my breath
in an attempt to stop the tears.
I think I passed out
before I got there.
Aug 2014 · 321
Q & A
harlee kae Aug 2014
Alright readers, from near
And from far
I have a question to ask
How do you know who you are?
I once thought i was straight as could be
Until a girl stole my heart and made me see
Maybe the life i'd been living was fake
Maybe that boy was one big mistake
But then my love went and shattered my heart
And my newfound knowledge was broken apart
After that i thought it was girls i would seek
But i was feeling so lonely, desperate, and meek
And a nice boy came by and he took my hand
He said i was cute, and lets start a band
I felt kind of awkward kissing his face
My brain is confused as i'm back to that place
I know it's hard to give advice
But if you've read this far please think twice
About who i should be and what i should do
Because my head or my heart dont have a clue
Aug 2014 · 1.2k
Free
harlee kae Aug 2014
When I die bury me on a mountain
in New Mexico,
so the wildflowers can overtake my body, and my soul can be as free
and beautiful
as I've always imagined.
Aug 2014 · 706
Don't Survive
harlee kae Aug 2014
The sun hasn't shone
in quite a few
     d
        a
          y
            s
And with it went the light
in
my
eyes.
I guess that makes sense
because
sun = life
and
I haven't felt alive
in...
Jul 2014 · 1.4k
Prisoner
harlee kae Jul 2014
Nothing I do is right
Nothing I say is okay
I'm not even allowed freedom of speech anymore
You took that too
Jul 2014 · 2.1k
30 minute shower
harlee kae Jul 2014
Everyone complains about how long my showers take.
I wish they understood that they're my only time to break.
Out of my thoughts and out of my head.
Out of this place, constant swimming with dread.
wet
scrub
rinse
repeat
No need to think
So blissful and sweet.
Jul 2014 · 642
Pretty
harlee kae Jul 2014
I know it's crazy
but
there's something in the way
you look at me
that makes me feel
*beautiful.
Jul 2014 · 2.1k
Today my sister said,
harlee kae Jul 2014
"At least drug addicts can be sent to rehab and cured."
As if liking a girl is some kind of illness. As if having a gay sister is a fate worse than death. But she was right about one thing, although the mind can be messed with, the heart is not so easily persuaded..
Jul 2014 · 1.3k
Potential
harlee kae Jul 2014
Just like a penny you left me in the rain
But today the drizzle stopped and out a rainbow came
The weather was so perfect and the sky so very blue
And you happened to walk by and you put me in your shoe
Because i was so shiny and gleaming and looked brand new
I guess that's where i'll stay now, in case you need some extra change
And this relationship is new to me and kinda sorta strange
Going from lovers to friends is hard, but being friends is better then nothing at all...
Jul 2014 · 434
one day more
harlee kae Jul 2014
our definition of a perfect day must not be the same
yesterday was magical
but today here comes the rain
my sheets are stained with snot
and my pillowcase with tears
so today i'll wash my bedding
and i'll throw away my fears
you're the master of my mind
and you control my body too
it's like you've cast a spell on me
and i have to see it through
but i want to
i want to
i want to oh so badly
because i love you
i cant stop loving you
*i love you oh so madly
Jul 2014 · 511
&
harlee kae Jul 2014
&
I'm sorry my world
is on your shoulders.
I know you didn't ask
for that responsibility.
And I completely understand
when you get too tired
and it comes crashing
down.
Jul 2014 · 341
what do you want me to say?
harlee kae Jul 2014
that each second that passes is a second closer to my death
and i couldnt be more grateful.
Jul 2014 · 544
Ravenous
harlee kae Jul 2014
And now I'm hungry.
I thought *** is what made me
so carnivorous,
but now I see that all I need
is to breath you in.
That alone creates an expanse that
needs to be filled.
And if not by the taste
of your tongue
then meats and breads
must suffice.
Jul 2014 · 469
One Day
harlee kae Jul 2014
Everyone keeps saying that
one day things will be better
one day it won't hurt so bad
one day I'll love again
one day I'll be happy.
But I can't wait much longer,
I'm slipping away.
So this "one day" better come quickly.
*Before my one day does.
Jul 2014 · 2.0k
i apologize
harlee kae Jul 2014
my poems get ******* and *******
and if i could delete the last few i would. but i guess i dont write for you anyways, i write for me. and sometimes i just need to get the jumbled mess in my head down on paper before i go insane. i'm sorry.
Jul 2014 · 815
sage
harlee kae Jul 2014
today is the twelth
and i wonder if
that had any effect on you at all.
or if you even looked at calendar.
because you're all i've thought about.
at my cousin's wedding
i had to go in the restroom
to hide away my tears.
and i got a stuffed animal.
her name is sage.
but murphy is much softer.
and i miss him
almost as much as i miss you.
Jul 2014 · 1.3k
anxious
harlee kae Jul 2014
i can never tell
if this feeling in my gut
is because of the way i want you,
or for the fact i can't eat
when you're not around..
Jul 2014 · 4.7k
bipolar love
harlee kae Jul 2014
there's ant bites
on the backs of my legs
from sitting with you
at the pond,
and dipping our toes in the water
for the baby leeches morning snack.
and the bites are throbbing
in time with my heart,
which aches for your presence.
and my aching heart
is a nice accompaniment
for the aching between my legs.
which longs to be filled with you.
like i was yesterday.
*but that was yesterday.
Jul 2014 · 678
tonight.
harlee kae Jul 2014
come out tonight
it will be an adventure*
they chanted to me.
so i went out
to get you off my mind
but it turned into something ugly.
and now i'm scared.
and now i'm alone.
and now i wish you were here.
because the biggest adventure i need
is looking into your eyes.
Jul 2014 · 2.0k
I shouldn't stay up so late,
harlee kae Jul 2014
because the words spew out like *****
and I am one sick child.
They flow out of my mouth as
ceaselessly as the tears
drip off my nose.
And they splash around your feet,
but you don't even stop to clean up your shoes.
Jul 2014 · 1.1k
limitless
harlee kae Jul 2014
your love is as distant as the stars,
and just as dead.
yet i wish on them every night..
Jul 2014 · 726
unbroken promise
harlee kae Jul 2014
my sheets smell like you,
and i'm tired because i didn't sleep
for watching your marvelous face.
i didn't want to miss a second of our last night together.
and in the moments you forget
that you weren't supposed to love me,
and you wrapped your arm around me
i was home.
Jun 2014 · 2.1k
day 14
harlee kae Jun 2014
i miss having someone always text me goodmorning and having someone to text goodnight to at the end of the day. i miss having someone tell me they love me. i miss knowing that if i get a day off i'll actually have something to do besides sit at home. and i miss being touched. being held and being kissed and having someone to tell my life to. because we were together for 441 days. and i dont know how to be apart.
Jun 2014 · 3.0k
droopy eyes
harlee kae Jun 2014
i'm feeling emotional
so i guess i'll let you know
that even though i'm pretending
to be strong
losing you is the hardest thing
i've ever had to do
and if i had one wish
i would make you appear in my bed
just to hold me
all night long
not my best but i don't care. i'm tired and alone and i miss you.
Jun 2014 · 834
Random Thought
harlee kae Jun 2014
Sometimes I wear my hair in a braid.
So I know we'll have at least one thing in common.
Jun 2014 · 791
Meltdown in Ihop
harlee kae Jun 2014
I don't think you understand how fully you obliterated my world, because if you did, I think you'd come back to me.
Jun 2014 · 605
User/Used
harlee kae Jun 2014
Everyone tells me you're a user.
But what they don't see,
is I beg to be used by you.
Jun 2014 · 1.5k
Darkness
harlee kae Jun 2014
Maybe, if I stare at the sun long enough, I can be blinded to my feelings for you...
Jun 2014 · 527
BRO KEN
harlee kae Jun 2014
caught between
asking                                 and
for                                     begging
you                                    you
to                                       not
come                                 to
Jun 2014 · 409
--
harlee kae Jun 2014
--
i'm an empty shell of a human
there's nothing left of me
you took my heart
you took my joy
and now i'm empty
so no one try to love me
i can't return the favor
i'm an empty shell of a human
loving is too much labor
harlee kae Jun 2014
I want to make love to you while the rain beats against the window and our breath fogs up the glass.
I want to hold your hand while I drive around aimlessly and sing at the top of my lungs.
I want to buy you random **** even though it makes you mad, but I love spending money on you.
I want to look at you and know that you are mine.
I don't want to make halfhearted conversation with a painted on smile.
I don't want to be your friend.
Jun 2014 · 1.9k
psycho
harlee kae Jun 2014
i cant decide if i'd rather **** myself
or her
Jun 2014 · 410
Week One (part 2)
harlee kae Jun 2014
I miss your lips
and how when they were pressed against mine
I knew you better then myself.
And I miss your eyes
and how when they caught mine
my heart jumped, everytime.
I miss your fingertips caressing my face
and how they made my skin crawl
in the most pleasant of ways.
I miss laying beside you
and watching you sleep, breathing you in.
In hopes that later when I'm alone
your scent will linger in my nose.
Mostly I miss being reminded daily,
that I am loved.
Jun 2014 · 393
Week One (part 1)
harlee kae Jun 2014
Seven days have passed since you broke my heart in two
And even though you did me wrong I'm still in love with you
Sometimes when I'm with you I think you want me too
But then you're with her and I know you never do
Or never will
Not again
Not with me at least
We'll be friends
Thats all I get
With that I've made my peace
Jun 2014 · 233
Untitled
harlee kae Jun 2014
some of my worst
memories
only happened
in my head.
Jun 2014 · 751
not so dreary poem
harlee kae Jun 2014
i think i've always viewed beauty differently than most.
and when i first met you, i knew that you were my most beautiful find yet.
you luminated light with every step you took. and everyone that met you, even briefly, felt better because of it.
i found beauty in every strand of your hair and every syllable that rolled off your lips.  
you're a rarity.
the light within you is so pure,
that when you're 100 and i'm 103 if i happen to pass you on the street i'll recognize you immedietly by the glow.
harlee kae Jun 2014
do you belive in an after life?
yes
in our after life will you be my girlfriend?*
no i have other plans..
i'm going to marry you.
i'm infattuated with this marvelous creature. if only she were mine.
Jun 2014 · 401
Being Friends
harlee kae Jun 2014
Such a simple phrase, isn't it?
And yet it is such a hard act.
I still want to be with you all the time,
but when we're together I hurt.
I hurt because I want to love you,
and when you touch me in a seemingly innocent way I want to melt into your skin and live there in your safety.
I want to get off work and see a message waiting from you.
But I don't.
And that's why being friends is such a hard thing to follow.
Because I still want you,
but you don't want me.
Jun 2014 · 2.1k
Nice Girls Finish Last
harlee kae Jun 2014
Love *****
   and hurts.
       And for those of us
         that give it freely,
            it hurts the most
               for us.
               But in the end
            we'll keep loving,
         so we can feel
      like we did everything
   we could
to be loved in return.
Jun 2014 · 577
elmo
harlee kae Jun 2014
and i haven't showered in days
because my fingers smell like you
Jun 2014 · 553
i wonder
harlee kae Jun 2014
will i ever learn that i'm not enough
that even though you think i'm beautiful she must be more beautiful
and even though you think i'm special she must be more special
and even though you say you love me she must be loved more
because if she wasn't, **you would have picked me
Jun 2014 · 2.5k
attention whore
harlee kae Jun 2014
i burned myself not for pleasure.
i burned myself not for pain.
i burned myself so maybe you'd notice me and maybe you'd care enough to make me stop.
Jun 2014 · 175
Untitled
harlee kae Jun 2014
Remember when our biggest problem was finding a way to be together.
God I wish I could go back.
I'd love you so perfectly  
that you'd never want to leave.
Jun 2014 · 268
Do I
harlee kae Jun 2014
Do I have a sign on my back that says cheat on me because I'll forgive you?
Jun 2014 · 1.4k
Wow
harlee kae Jun 2014
Wow
I made an egg sandwich with my french toast.
You told me to close my eyes
because you had a surprise for me.
Guilty.
I felt guilty
because I was going to end us.
Plot twist
you beat me too it.
You pulled my heart out
and shredded it through your fingers.
If you go by the bench you might see
pieces of it left behind,
embedded in the weeds.
Maybe when you wash your hands
you'll find some blood left
under your nails.
I'm still trying to figure out my surprise.
Jun 2014 · 611
burn
harlee kae Jun 2014
i wish i could burn through
my heart like i burn through
my arm because then maybe
i wouldnt have to feel the way
you betrayed me

tomorrow is the day i break
my own heart by telling you
that we are over because i
simply cant take the way
you **** me anymore
Jun 2014 · 277
sometimes
harlee kae Jun 2014
sometimes when i cry i feel like im gonna drowned in my tears
and sometimes when i cry i wish i would
sometimes i tell myself that you love me because im tired of feeling alone
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