maybe love isn’t passion
and flaming fires
and stolen glances

maybe it’s choosing you daily
and giving unlimited
chances

maybe it’s early brunches
and evening dog walks

rather than secret car meetings
and drunken late talks

maybe love is 9 mile hikes
when it starts to rain

and maybe it’s not messages
that cause everyone pain

maybe it’s me and you
maybe it’s you and me
maybe the love we have
is how it’s meant to be

maybe

so many times i've said i'm a vault
i'm a lock with no key
that i'm hidden away
and it would take a miracle
for someone to get to me

but that's not it
that's not ******* it at all

i'm surrounded by people
so many people i can't move
crying out for someone to listen
but they don't even look my way

i'm not a vault
i'm an open book
that no one cares to read

this chest is like a vault
and i threw away the key
so you never really get to know
this misunderstood me

i'd rather keep who i am buried
all my real thoughts deep inside
then give you time to hate it
i guess i got too much pride

but it's scary
cause this vault has cracks
so sometimes i start to show
and the person that you get to see
isn't someone you want to know

does it ever get better?

august, again.
and i'm in a different bed
and a different house
but the same tears fall
as they did a year ago.

and last year they were from
the stress and frustration
of the kids who felt it their life mission
to ignore every word from my lips

this year
from the absence of such.

because best friends with pigtails and converse
just don't come around that often.

look up
they're limitless
so small i am
meaningless
but they give me
significance

close my eyes. breathe.
they're a part of me
i can almost feel them now

rattle them down
i will
somehow

when the choices you make are hurting
both you and someone you love
and your feelings feel like a burden
how do you know what's right?
when you feel like your thoughts should be said
and you feel like they need to be heard
but there's so much **** in your head

when you want everyone to be happy
but you don't know what that means
and you dont know which path is right
or which one follows your dreams

the little girl
licks her ice cream cone
as chocolate drips down her chin

someday she could be president
or a doctor
teacher
engineer
someday she might get her heart broken
or buy a car
or dye her hair
a crazy color

but today
she sits by her dad
slurping ice cream
and her world is both
infinitely small
and limitless

she left just now
my precious val

i cried
her mom cried too
told me thanks for all i do

it makes it worth it
all the fights
all her screaming
the hard nights

to know they saw
all i tried to give
to know i mattered
to just one kid

and it's definitely bittersweet

cried in the shower again
i can't believe it's the end
somehow, a child's my best friend

she just always brightens my day
in her goofy, intelligent way
and i wish that she could stay

but that's the profession i'm in..

i know i'm gonna cry
gonna hug a lil too tightly
as i watch them
say goodbye

exhausting and exciting
and intense and crazy too
summer's coming quickly
and i don't what i'll do

the kids still need their love
the dogs, they have to be fed
no matter how you are feeling
when you first crawl out of bed

you're doing the best that you can
no matter how small that might feel
sometimes accomplishing another day
is really quite a big deal

in the happy and the hard days
life just keeps on going
and even if it's slowly
i think we're always growing

so be gentle with yourself
we're all a little weird
but that's what makes you beautiful
it's nothing to be feared

as i drove to work today
and i wondered if it felt lonely
or accomplished
to be the last one standing

here we are
a secret society
essentially strangers
but still alleys in this fight
who encourage, admire, anger, inspire
each other to continue
writing..living
it's said at the end of the day
all you have is yourself
i think we writers have each other
as well
so raise up your pens
call forth the troops
blast out your battle cry
whistle your words
rally together behind the truth of your poetry
and the convictions in your heart

we are here as one
hurting and healing and harmoniously having
our fits of passion, heartbreak, doubt, and discoveries

maybe not in the first line of defense
but really, what's a good fight
without someone to write of it

someday,
i'll outrun it all

and i don't know if that's allowed
or if i'm just too basic of a *****
for it to matter

but i'm dancing in the kitchen
to j cole
and making galaxy cookies
as valeona would call them

and maybe i get the hype

said my counselor
i'm not sure i know who that is
i responded

you are worthy she said
you are in charge of your happiness

so i'm trying
i'm not sure who i am
but i'm trying to find it

try for conversation
but you lack the motivation
simple reciprocation
is what i'll settle for

because our interests are divided
but our pathways are united
only sometimes i feel slighted
when i realize that it's true

and yeah you ask about my day
but don't listen to what i say
or do i just feel this way
i think i think too much

another day

bad guy again

try for kindness

drown in sin

i'm lucky
to hear it everyday
from a sweet little girl
that truly believes it

while another wraps her arms around me
and tells me that she missed me
since she last saw me (16 hours earlier)

and a third
twirls circles around me
and tells me she hopes i'm happy

for you see, i'm a teacher
and this year has been the hardest
but they only saw the best in me
even when i didnt deserve it

so love like a child
show your vulnerabilities
tell people what's special about them
and look for the best in each other

and look for the best in yourself

now we can't speak
and the rain hurts my head
and i try to remember
all the words that were said

because this one hurts worse
it's not the same kind of end
before we were anything
we were always best friends

i saw a glimmer of a rainbow
just a streak
enough to get me excited
you see
i've been teaching about rainbows
i asked my sister
do you know how a rainbow is formed

she danced around
said i dont care
and what was i to do but smile

and i know it seems so simple
the conversation
and it was i suppose
nothing she will remember in the least

but it hit me
that deep pain in my chest
that feeling
of wanting to rant about rainbows
to someone who would listen

look in the mirror
what do you see?
ugly
liar
cheater
..or is that only me

look in the mirror
maybe there's more
then this perfect person
you've been striving for

i think it must be full
i guess we have that in common