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Hacking, spitting,
coughing and blowing
morning duress
caused by smoking
but I'll light up many
when I wake up,
after breakfast,
after a nap,
when on the phone,
out on the town,
after ***
walking around
when I'm upset
or nervous too
when I am anxious
or when I'm blue
Ah, hell
its all the time
two packs a day
to lessen my life
cause they say I'll die
younger than most
sometimes I care
sometimes I dont
so I'll light another
inhale deeply
so I'll just die
a little early
 Jan 2014 harlee kae
aviisevil
"come here ****** , sit with us"
As I walked away from those eyes
"whats the matter , we'll show you love"
I knew , nothing but lies

I was the funny one , the clown
"look he's coming , lets push him down"
They laughed at me when I was hurt
"you're so funny mate , now turn around"

"hey you , you look like a girl"
They used to scream at me
"oh he's crying , so much hurt"
But still they couldnt see

"come here stupid , now entertain"
i'm so tired Please , not again
"we'll beat you stupid *******"
i've to play their sadistic game again

On my way home their was no respite
"look how he walks , left and right"
They stared at me like an animal
Do you know how it feels to live your every moment in fright

Afraid of everything that touches you
Everything that goes by
Can't stop no matter what you do
Every wish and dream is to die

"child , why are you so different?"
Always asked my folks
"cant you act normal for a moment"
"is this your idea of a joke?"

"child , why don't you speak much"
At the dinner table they always spoke
" maybe we should send him to a boarding school"
Yeah , like that would've stopped the world from being an *******

"look at his wrists , he has done it again"
As they gathered around me in a choke hold
"did it pain, now do it again"
Or we'll tell your dad and he'll scold

Yelled the teacher infront of them
"fool , get out of the class , you're disturbing everyone"
He could'nt see they were poking me with a pen
And my hair was full of gum

"your kid is a ******"
Whispered the man in the office to my dad
"take away his guitar"
He's listening to rock and thats too bad

"I bet he takes drugs"
"is he into satan?"
"your child is cursed"
He talked without a curtain

"you , I curse the day you were born"
The only thing I had always known
The last ounce of sanity in me
Departed , Now finally gone

I was dying but now I was dead
A new persona began to form
As the last bullet pierced my head
The old one was long gone

The new one wasn't the nice one
All he had was anger and rage
All he had was hatred for everyone
Now it was his time to play

His lips parted and he whispered to the world
"man ,finally i'm 'gonna have some fun"
His heart full of hatred , ready to tame the world
With a sick smile he picked up his shiny gun


another columbine had begun..
 Jan 2014 harlee kae
Love
Gay thoughts,
Gay actions,
Bi me.
Well,
I think.
Possibly.
I have gay thoughts,
And gay actions,
But I also have straight thoughts...
Just not straight actions.
Because it sickens me,
Almost.
With most guys,
When they hold me,
I want to pull away.
People just cant understand,
Or they don't want to.
I may like a guy,
But I want the warm,
And soft embrace,
Of a girl.

— The End —