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harlee kae Mar 2018
long drives and
my thoughts drift to you
remembering times
when i would sing out loud
because you didn't make fun of my voice
remembering times
when i didn't use windshield wipers
because you made me
feel invincible
harlee kae Mar 2018
where my dreams could come true
and i'm wondering
if i dreamed
big enough
harlee kae Mar 2018
sometimes i wonder if you love me
sometimes i wonder if i deserve it

i wonder
what it would be like
to look in the mirror
and like what i see

i wonder
what it would be like
to not feel anxious
when i enter a room

i wonder
what it would be like
to feel good in an outfit
to feel good in a picture

sometimes i wonder
what it would be like
not to wonder
harlee kae Mar 2018
we treat this like an acknowledgement
more than an actual question
i mean no one answers it honestly
because we're afraid of a therapy session
but we'll post what we're eating for breakfast
hoping to get a reaction
because we'd rather talk through a screen
than have actual human interaction
just some thoughts
harlee kae Feb 2018
of not being able to make a decision
because i'm scared that whatever i choose
i will be wrong

of not be able to speak my mind
because you say my opinions
are inaccurate/loud/stupid

of trying so hard to care for others
because i need someone to say
that i matter

i'm tired

of finally making a decision
then being ridiculed for it

of saying what's on my mind
and being told i'm too angry
(or choosing to stay quiet
and being told i'm too sensitive)

of cooking and cleaning and chauffeuring
and never being told thank you

i'm just so tired
of living a life
that feels
unfulfilled
harlee kae Feb 2018
and i dream of you
a lot.
harlee kae Feb 2018
all the things
i hate about myself
were magnified
and multiplied
when i whispered
i'm sorry.. i'm sorry
and you replied with
its not your fault you're like this
instead of
it's okay
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