harlee kae

harlee kae Dec 2014

split

i still think of you
all the time.
but i think of him
now too.
and in my brain i'd have to say
you're the darkness
and he's the light.
though the choice may seem obvious,
i can't be with him too long
without wanting a little mystery..

harlee kae Dec 2014

Merry Christmas

I'm so ******* selfish.
I disgust myself.
Sitting around on Christmas Eve
waiting for my presents,
while he's waiting for the cops.
He's just a boy.
He didn't mean what he did,
he's just a boy.

I never hug my mom.
And his is on drugs.
Save the boy.
These presents, they are nothing.
I don't want them.
Not anymore.
I wanna save the boy.

harlee kae Dec 2014

Untitled

i layed there
with your arms around me
listening to the tick tick tick
of your watch
and i thought to myself
this is much more comforting
than a heartbeat
because i'll know exactly
when it stops

harlee kae Dec 2014

addict

they say,
you can get addicted to anything
they say,
i was addicted to you.
six months later
and i finally believe them.
because it's 4:48 am
and i've got the shakes

harlee kae Dec 2014

bc blessed

i know i dwell on the sadness
entirely too much.
and then i let it drag me down until i can't even breath properly.
i know i say i have nothing,
because without you,
it kinda feels that way.
but the truth is, i live a privileged life.
i have chris who makes me laugh,
myrka who always listens,
and emely who knows what to say.
i have miguel who calls me pretty,
rigo who eases the stress,
and trevor who gives me adventure.
i have abbs who teaches me it's okay to be myself,
savannah who makes me feel worthly,
and my babies who light up my world.
lucky doesn't even begin to describe
the world in which i live.

harlee kae Dec 2014

winter

its winter again
the time of year we fell in love
and its cold
but so beautiful
kinda like you
and my god i love the sunsets
but it kinda *****
that i cant see a pretty one
without thinking of that face

harlee kae Dec 2014

my gosh, the confusion

he said he could see this being forever
and i wish he wouldnt have
the pressure is on
i dont wanna be a heartbreaker
so is this it
is this my future
if it is, is that a bad thing
if he is my future why are you
the one on my mind
why when he kisses me
touches me
do i wish it was you
its just, youre more gentle
yet more aggressive somehow too
and i dont know if its because
hes a boy
so he doesnt know how to handle me
you made me feel like me
completely myself
not caring what others thought
he makes me wanna be better
but why do i need to be better
he said he could see this being forever
and i wish he wouldnt have