you say you want to be beautiful like me someday
but i can only hope to someday aquire
a beauty as magnificent as yours;
a smile that makes the room warm
a laugh that turns the foulest of moods
a comforting touch to let even the weakest know
everything is going to be alright
i want your carefree crazy moments
and the times when you're so serious nothing can crack your facade
i just want something more than for people to say i'm beautiful
because what is that really...

i have so much to be thankful for.
i know that.
but for some reason being surrounded by family all day makes me feel so alone.
and i don't know whats wrong with me.
but i wish someone could fix it.

Here I am;
stuffing my face in a Brookeshires parking lot like some ravenous animal, with a cupcake I bought myself.
Writing a half assed poem to pass the time while I wait for a response.
But, we've all been there.. Right?

what ******  me off is that my sister says "i want you to marry him" everyday. okay, i understand he's a nice guy. but i don't love him.
the one time i was in love NO ONE gave a ****. and you want to know why? because i was in love with a girl.
no one said ya'll are so cute together. no one said i want ya'll to get married.
well let me tell you something; people that don't support same *** relationships. you are ignorant.
the love is there. the feelings are there!
why does it bother you.
also, gay DOES NOT equal stupid.
the words aren't synonymous.
"this homework is gay"
"that picture is gay"
"your haircut is gay"
no
no
and no
to the people that use the word gay as a descriptive noun, you are also ignorant.
okay, i'm good for now.

i don't even like that word (or *******)
they're both nasty words.
but that isn't the point.
the point is intimacy is like climbing a staircase that only goes up.
i don't like that either.
today you kissed me for a minute.
so tomorrow it will be two.
today you took my shirt off,
so will it always come off now?
i'm rather fond of my shirt.

i think i would give anything
to redue our relationship.
even if it ended the same horrible way.
just to get to feel what its like when you loved me.